3 - 1
Jack stared out at the snow as he sat on the window sill. His staff back in his room. He hadn't touched the thing in days; he hadn't wanted to because the last time he had done so he'd been with Jamie and... The other Guardians had expressed their sorrow for his loss, but had also given him space as well to grieve in his own way. Each of them understood how hard the loss could be, having lost someone once who had been special to them. There was nothing to ease the emptiness that Jack felt, to fill the void that would always be in his heart. No one could ever take the place of his first believer, his friend and lover. While Jack didn't skip on his duties to bring winter across the globe, his snow always fell softly and was but a mere dusting usually as he hadn't taken his staff with him; it sat in his room, every time. Scientists around the world said global warming was to blame, but in truth Jack couldn't summon the strength of will to do more than just cover the world with his sad snow. He always flinched when he was sent to drift snow over Burgess; he didn't visit his pond only because he couldn't bare it. The memories there with the boy, who had become his first believer and later meant so much more to him... there were too many of them and he couldn't face them. He kept it frozen with his magic, but that was all. He never glanced at it, never once touched it or even flew over it if he could help it. He simply kept it up as he always had... except... if he always had then Jamie wouldn't have... A lump rose in the Guardian's throat, a sense of unspeakable guilt washing over him. It was his fault that Jamie was gone. Had he been more attentive to his pond, made sure it was frozen as always, then it wouldn't have happened. Jamie wouldn't have been there that day and the serpent... the one that had dared entered his pond... Well, he'd frozen the creature solid and then shattered the ice so that there was nothing left of the vermin that had stolen from him the most precious thing in his life. That had been the one time he'd been anywhere near his pond. Frost crept slowly along the window he stared out of, it was slow and opaque to the point of obscuring one's view completely, but it never got far. It only crept as far as an inch before stopping. Jack wondered if things would always be this way; he had believers, but what did it matter when the one who mattered most was gone? It didn't seem fair, Jamie had made so many plans! He'd had a career and had planned to finish college to become a graphic design artist! So many times Jack caught himself planning to tell Jamie something, or try to remember to show him something that he thought of only to have the reality of things come crashing down on him swiftly and without mercy. Jamie would have been one of the very few adults to believe in him, Jack was sure; he was sure that just as Jamie had been the very first to believe in him, he would also have been the first among the adults if he had lived to see it. Now... now it would never happen, or if there ever came a time that a child would grow up still believing, Jack didn't care because it wouldn't be Jamie. Jack knew he would lose Jamie to time, eventually, but he had hoped that he would at least have had Jamie's children and grandchildren to play with; something that would have eased the burden of watching his first believer pass from this world, but no. Jamie had clung steadfast to him... had loved him... Jack lamented in guilt that he had been so selfish as to accept his affections rather than trying again to set him up with someone his own age. Not that Jamie had appreciated his indirect efforts before, but... Jack felt a sigh rise in him for the umpth time that day. It was just another thing he regretted. Every day seemed like the one before it, empty without his best friend; the others had said it got easier with time, but Jack wasn't certain it would. The words sounded as empty as he felt. He wondered what it was he'd done to deserve this... Every time he wondered that he would dissolve into a fit of tears that would freeze before they fell all the way down his cheeks and he'd clean up the mess he left when he managed to stop crying. He didn't want to be a burden for North, though the Guardian of Wonder had told him that he was welcome to stay there as long as he liked. Jack knew that, eventually, he would need to leave, but for now he didn't have the strength. He was barely clinging to his own sanity, it seemed that only the presence of others around him kept him from sinking into that welcoming dark pit that was despair. He avoided the other Guardians when he could, if only because he didn't want to see the pity or sympathy in their eyes when they looked at him; it only made him feel that much worse. Jack closed his eyes for the moment, he let his mind drift to the only thoughts that could give him any sort of pleasure anymore... of being able to leave this immortal life behind and join Jamie in Death's sweet embrace. Of course, being immortal there was no way that was really possible; even when Pitch had struck down Sandy years before he hadn't really killed him so much as just changed him. Immortals like Sandy could change form, in a sense, but they were no more vulnerable to Death's powers than any other.
That didn't stop Jack from fantasizing about it though, just one more thing to help him keep his sanity. Even if he knew it was impossible... there was always the hope. A hope that, for whatever reason, refused to be snuffed out. Sometimes though, that wasn't all that came with closing his eyes; who was he kidding? Nearly every time he did memories flooded his mind, of cold nights and warm coco, of a warm embrace that was never too warm for him, shared kisses and jokes that no one but the two of them would ever get; if he let himself, he could almost hear his name being called out by that voice that he loved so much.
"Jack!" He felt his heart rip in two. He would never hear that voice again, never feel that warmth; he couldn't bring himself to ever get close again, not like that. He hadn't even attempted to make a new friend, it was too soon... the pain was too much. He forced himself to cheerfully wave at his believers whenever they spotted him, but he never stayed to play in the snow he left them with. There were times when they asked if he would join then, but he would just shake his head and force a smile while he made excuses of bringing snow to other places time and time again. He didn't think he would ever find fun in his snow again, he couldn't because it reminded him too much of him and the pain in him would spike anew; as if it had just happened instead of weeks ago... months ago... how long had it been? He wasn't sure, what was time to an immortal anyway? He would forever miss his best friend, would forever mourn his loss; forever dream of things to share with him that he would never be able to. Every day he would ask the world, shouting the question to no one in particular, why this injustice had been allowed to happen. Why someone in their prime, who had been nothing but good to the world, had been taken so soon. Jack didn't visit the grave of his friend, he hadn't had the courage to. Today was different. It would be mildly warm, as May tended to be as Spring was washing the land with green and flower buds. Jack floated among the many headstones, only glancing at names before he noticed it. It was near the middle and there were so many flowers on it. Swallowing the lump at his throat, he floated over to the headstone, his eyes taking in the words that were etched onto the smooth marble:
Jamie Bennett
2002 - 2020
Beloved Son, Brother, Friend
Devoted Believer, Last Light
Jack wondered if North had put those last words on the tomb. Not that it was likely since the Guardian of Wonder didn't have anything to do with such matters which were things that were handled by Death. Jack lightly traced the words, as if somehow they weren't real. That if the writing faded beneath the frost he was leaving then it would undo everything and he'd have his friend back. It wasn't that simple. Nothing was that simple, and oh how many nights had he pleaded to the moon to make Jamie immortal? The moon had never answered, though he had sworn one night he'd seen it glow more brightly... as if in silent answer to his plea... but that was it. Jack summoned his frost as he stepped back, despite the heat he created one of his flowers and hardened it into ice that would never melt. He placed the delicate flower on the grave. Grass had yet to spring up along the turned earth. Jack traced out letters into the loose dirt in front of the grave:
I miss you.
- JF
His heart was as heavy as ever as the winter spirit let the wind carry him back to the North Pole, back to his current home. He let his eyes closed as the wind lifted him into the air to carry him to his destination. It had always been there for him, the wind; a constant, silent companion. His thoughts drifted to nothingness that was his pain as he let the wind carry him, with the gentleness of a mother, to his room. It set him down upon the bed and only when it had did he fall into a dreamless sleep. As he so often had these days. He slept more than he really needed to, but it was only in the dreamless sleep could he face the days to come. It was the only respite he had from the pain of memories, of the coming day and of facing a world without the one who had held his heart. Even as he drifted off he realized he needed to leave the North Pole... tomorrow would be soon enough.
3 - 2
He could feel the chilly night air on his cheeks. It was something that wasn't foreign to him, not that he felt the cold of the night really as much as his partner-in-crime who was currently sitting on the wall of the ice rink.
"I really don't think we should be doing this." Jack grinned.
"Even the janitors have left for the night Jamie. Now come on! This was your idea anyway."
"Sneaking into an ice rink was not what I meant when I said we should go ice skating Jack." Jack just chuckled and watched as the young teen laced up the skates that he'd gotten from his mother last year. It had been the only thing he'd told her that he'd wanted and so she'd gotten him a pair.
"Need some help?" Jack asked, his staff lazily tapped against the ice, giving it a new layer; the fern patterns of his frost spiraling along the surface. Jamie watched with a smile playing on his lips. His eyes glinting with wonder, he'd seen Jack do such things time and time again since they had first met when he was eight years old.
"The only help I need is figuring out what I'm going to say to the cops when they arrest me."
"Try pleading insanity, it seemed to work well in the past." Jamie had just rolled his eyes at him in response. Jamie lowered himself carefully from the wall and down onto the ice. Jamie kept a hold of the side for a moment to get his balance before he began to skate onto the ice towards his winter love, a smile gracing his features as he skated towards Jack.
Jack blinked away the haziness of the memory. For a moment he didn't know where he was, thinking he might have smashed into the wall or ... He sighed as the euphoria from the dream, a memory, left him. Jack rubbed his eyes with the heel of his palms. Jack had suggested that they spend a Thursday evening, which was about ten at night, ice skating so that the two of them could be alone. Jamie had readily agreed and only when Jack had actually flown him to the ice rink had the teen begun to protest about how it wasn't right. Even so, the two of them had a blast; having the whole thing to themselves and two hours later Jack had flown a colder, exhausted Jamie back to his house. He had been so happy then... All he had of the one who had captured his heart, were the memories of the time they had spent together. Today wasn't any different than the day before and Jack wondered if the dream had been Sandy's work, but he didn't see any trace of the golden sand; it had come to him without Sandy's magic. He sighed again, with the joy of the dream gone he felt numb once more; his limbs feeling heavy as he plopped back down again. He didn't feel like doing anything today. The world could do without him for a single day, wasn't like all the snow and ice was going to melt even if he felt like he'd melted inside. What was the point of being alive if the one person who was the world to you was no longer around? He didn't care if North got mad at him. What was one day? He had the rest of eternity to spread snow. A single day without him doing touch ups wasn't going to hurt, plus it wasn't like the places that were likely due for a day of snow would care too much if they went one more day without snow. He closed his eyes, all that Jack could hope for now is that sleep would take him again. That blissful escape would take him back to Jamie once more. Jack sent frost to block out the light along his window when he realized the sunlight was peaking through his curtains. He made sure the room was as dark as it could be without shattering the windows under the weight of his frost. Once that was done he pulled the covers around him, though he normally didn't need them it reminded him of Jamie and he sank back against the mattress. Trying his hardest to remember what it was like to lay next to the boy. Soon enough sleep claimed the winter spirit once more.
Memories. That was all that Jack had and all that flooded his mind as he slept. Memories of days he'd spent at his pond with Jamie at his side. The two of them talking or skating about on the ice, of course the times he had trained the boy to fight as well flitted through his mind. His memories were his dreams and those dreams were all that made him happy now; because in sleep he was with his love, with the boy who had been his first believer, whom he had shared his first kiss and fallen in love with shortly after. Jack had given the teen everything that he was... and now he was gone. In his dreams, however, the teen was alive and whole as he should be. Laughing a little at some of Jack's jokes or simply sitting by his side on the bed in his room as he told Jack about how his day was. Talking about new friends as well as old ones. It was almost a month after Jamie's untimely death that Jack approached Sandy. He wondered why he hadn't thought of it before.
"Sandy?" The golden Guardian was spreading dreams to children below. He turned to smile a little at his fellow Guardian. He could tell that the death of his first believer still weighed heavily on the winter spirit's shoulders. Jack, to him, seemed paler than usual if that were possible and looked exhausted, but there was no sign of sleep deprivation so the Guardian of Dreams could tell that Jack was sleeping fine. A question mark appeared over his head.
"I was wondering... have you ever put someone in such a deep sleep that they can't wake up?" Sandy's eyes seemed to widen at the question, the little Guardian realizing quickly what his answer to this could mean. Sandy pursed his lips in thought. Should he be truthful about it or lie? Which would be worse? After a moment, Sandy's shoulders slumped and he shook his head. No, he had never done such a thing and didn't think he could. He'd put people to sleep before, right before they'd died, but that was different. They would have died anyway, but he had never purposely used his dreamsand to keep someone asleep.
"Have you ever tried?" Sandy shook his head again. There was a long silence.
"Would you try... on me?" Again silence.
"I know I'm asking a lot... but.. I've thought this through. The world really doesn't need me. There has been winter long before I came here and... I'm not sure I can face eternity without him. Do you understand?" Sandy floated over to him, resting a gold hand on one of Jack's slumped shoulders. He didn't say anything, but his eyes spoke volumes. The little Guardian did indeed understand. Maybe he hadn't loved the one he'd lost, the way Jack loved Jamie, but he knew the feeling of loss; the guilt of not being there, of wanting something that couldn't be. Sandy wasn't sure he should grant Jack's wish, torn between wanting to do something to erase Jack's suffering but at the same time knowing that Jack was needed as much as the other Guardians were. Without Jack, the four would have crumbled underneath Pitch's might. Jack didn't say anything else as he went back to the pole automatically, he didn't really want to be there anymore than anywhere else, but there were few other places that he would go to and he really didn't have anything better to do. He went to his room when he arrived and he flopped down on the bed; he really didn't feel tired this time but after a moment of closing his eyes he succumbed to sleep.
Sunlight glinted gently through the forest.
Wait... a forest? This isn't a dream I've had before...
Jack sat up, glancing around. It was the middle of summer. He felt immediately that this was not a place he knew of. Why was he in a forest in the middle of summer of all times?
"Jack Frost?" The sound of a voice broke his thoughts and he froze. He knew that voice. He slowly turned to look behind him. His eyes widened, Jamie stood a few feet away. His normally pale skin was a healthy bronze, the brown hair he'd come to know and love had red highlights gleaming through and the brown eyes seemed to have become a more burnished brown. Even knowing that this was just a dream, he was surprised he even knew it was, he couldn't bring himself to speak. He noticed that the boy also wore a pair of navy blue shorts, no shoes, and a T-shirt that was as green as tree leaves. That wasn't all though, there was a sort of glow about the boy that Jack felt was familiar; he knew it was familiar because it was the same glow he saw around any spirit he met... Spirit... Jamie... He couldn't figure this out. Why would he be dreaming this? Why now? The teen regarded him like a stranger, uncertainty in his eyes. Jack felt pain lance his heart when he realized the boy before him had no idea who he was... didn't remember who he was...
The painful cry that came from his lips woke him from the dream and Jack bolted up, fresh tears streaking down his face. Why had he dreamed about Jamie being a spirit? What was the point? He glanced up at the soft light that seemed to be fading from the room, he went to the window and shoved open the curtains. It was night now and the fading light was from the moon. Had Manny... ? Could he even send dreams to others? Wasn't that Sandy's power? He glanced around, but there was no sign of golden sand that would leave him to believe the other Guardian had a hand in the dream he'd just experienced. He felt an unexpected flare of hope. Was Manny trying to tell him something? There was only one way to find out, he had to talk to Sandy again. Later though, when the little Guardian wasn't working; Jack settled back to sleep, but as fate would play its tricks, Jack forgot about the reason he meant to see Sandy when the sun rose to wake him.
3 - 3
Jack hadn't been to his lake since that summer. He felt a pang in his heart as he saw the water rippling in the day's heat. Jack dipped his staff into the water, it froze immediately. He knelt next to the water, skimming his hands over it. It had been years since he had visited this place, and while he didn't want to admit it... he was here not because he felt bad about not being able to keep his pond frozen in this heat, but because of someone else.
"Just what do you think you're doing?" Jack wheeled his arms as he nearly lost his balance in his surprise. He whirled about, landing on his butt on the ice, but the sting of it was quickly forgotten when he found himself face to face with another teen. It had been so very long since he'd been back here... it had been so long... longer than Jack liked to think about. He stared, as if the boy before him, arms crossed, might some how vanish into the air before him like a dream. He looked exactly like what Jack had imagined...
"Jamie." He was barely aware he'd said anything. Ten years he'd searched, never once thinking that all this time...
"So you know who I am. Congratulations Frost. Now what are you doing here out of season?" Jack winced. He hadn't expected this; oh he'd imagined how it might go when he had finally found Jamie again but this was the furthest from how he'd imagined it might be. Jamie frowned at him, obviously irritated.
"I..." He stammered. Exactly what was he supposed to say? It had been a chance encounter with a special mortal that had led him to constantly searching the globe during his free time in hopes of finding the boy who held his heart; the boy he could not live without.
"Well?" Jack shook himself at the word. This was not the Jamie he remembered, not even when Jamie had gone through a rough time. The spirit who stood before him was not like the teenager he'd come to love, but a stranger even though he knew everything there was to know about him. Jamie didn't seem to remember him, or at least not remember what they had shared.
"This is my pond." He said after a moment, his voice quiet. Jamie studied the winter spirit thoughtfully at the response. He knew that Jack Frost made his home in Burgess, but it had never occurred to the summer spirit that it meant this pond.
"Is that so? So then why now? Why hasn't it been frozen before? I've been here ten years and it was unfrozen several times during summer."
"I... I was away..." Jack fumbled. He couldn't just blurt out that he'd been looking for Jamie all this time. Well, maybe he would have years ago... when Jamie was still alive... but since then Jack had changed. So had Jamie apparently.
"I'm a Guardian... I... can't always be here." Jack's eyes shifted to the dirt nearby. The heat was suffocating to him, but he ignored it. Jamie frowned a little when he saw the frost patterns on the blue hoodie begin to melt; he felt instant alarm go through him and he'd no idea why. Why would he care about what happened to the upstart Guardian? Oh he'd never met Jack before now, that much he was sure of, but he'd heard the stories from other spirits that flitted around and none of them had really been good... well except one time where he'd been able to beat back Pitch Black with the help of some children. Despite all the stories, Jamie didn't think the other spirit was all that bad if he'd been willing to put himself in harms way to protect the children and the other Guardians. After all, he was a Guardian wasn't he? There had to be a good reason that he'd been chosen. What he wasn't sure about was why Jack was acting the way he was. He was supposed to be the Guardian of Fun right? So why did the winter spirit look more like he was about to break down and cry?
"I guess they keep you pretty busy now." It was all Jamie could think to say.
Jack summoned a bit of his power to stir up a cool breeze, ruffling his snowy hair. He couldn't leave now, not that he'd found Jamie, but the heat was really starting to affect him. Jack, being a winter spirit, could only stand heat like this for about an hour or so at the most before there were serious repercussions. He wasn't sure how long he'd been here, how long he'd tarried above the forest before he'd finally gotten the nerve to touch down near his pond.
"Jack? You don't look so good." Jack knew Jamie was right, he didn't feel good. He pushed himself to his feet, but that was a mistake. The last thing he remembered was hearing Jamie cry out his name. Jamie rushed to the other spirit as he collapsed. He cursed as he realized he needed to find a cold place for the other spirit and fast. Picking him up, he grabbed the staff the other had dropped and shot into the sky. He headed north as fast as he could, when he reached the snowy mountains of Montana he landed near a cave he'd once found when exploring. He set the winter spirit inside before gathering as much snow as he could and quickly buried the spirit in it. When he was done he broke some wood from the nearest trees he could find and went deep into the cavern to make himself a fire. Just as Jack couldn't stand the heat for long, he couldn't stand frigid temperatures for long periods of time and he built himself a fire far from the other spirit. Once he felt he was warm enough though, he ventured back to where he had left Jack. He'd set Jack's staff up against the wall of the cavern. Why was he so worried about the other teen? Confused, and irritated by his confusion, Jamie paced the area between Jack and the fire. Curiosity surged in him when he drew close to Jack once more, watching the other spirit sleep off the heat exhaustion. Jamie reached out, before he know what he intended himself, and lightly brushed his fingers through the glistening hair. It was soft, like snow was soft. He shifted to get a better look at the winter spirit whose pale skin seemed to glisten from the dim light that Jamie was giving off at the moment. Why was Jack so familiar? Why did he have the feeling that he knew Jack so well and yet... he didn't? A gasp left the summer spirit's lips suddenly and he fell to his knees, his head throbbing; he clenched his eyes shut as pain spiraled through him, a scene playing through his mind's eye.
He jumped up, touching the frost rabbit; it was cold and as soon as he touched it the thing burst into a cascade of snow. Jamie's laughter died and he fell to his knees as he stared at the snow.
"Snow?" A single flake drifted down onto his nose and he suddenly remembered something his mother had said the day he'd lost his tooth. "...you don't want Jack Frost nipping at your nose." He blinked.
"Jack Frost?"
"Did you say?" The sound of another voice made him get back to his feet again.
"Jack Frost?"
"He... he said it again..." The voice said as Jamie slowly glanced around.
"You said..." His gaze settled on the teen standing at the end of his bed, brilliant blue eyes beneath snow white hair; wearing a blue hoodie and brown leggings.
"Jack Frost." Jamie's mouth fell open.
"That's right! But that's me! Jack Frost! My name! You said my name..." Jamie could only watch at the strange, excited emotions that flitted across the boy who had stepped back to gesture wildly as if this was all new to him. He had stared at his feet but then his eyes met Jamie's again.
"Wait... can you hear me?" Jamie slowly nodded, unable to believe that this was the Jack Frost! In his room!
"Can you... can you see me?" He asked, he seemed almost afraid of the answer, but Jamie nodded again his gaping mouth turning up into a smile as shock became pure joy.
"He... he sees me! He sees me!" Never had Jamie seen such pure joy in the eyes of another who wasn't a kid his age. Jack laughed and did a backflip onto the desk, Jamie could tell the other was ecstatic about the fact that Jamie could see him, even if he didn't fully understand why it was such a big deal to the spirit.
"Jamie?" The soft voice brought him back. He rubbed his eyes with his palms to see that Jack was awake and looking at him with concern.
"It's nothing... just something I remembered."
"Can... I ask what it was?" Jamie frowned thoughtfully, the caution Jack was showing seemed so out of character. He was certain it was, but how could he be so certain about anything when it came to this winter spirit? Jamie didn't understand it, but he pushed it aside as he considered if he should say anything or not.
