3

It had been over a month since she found out she was pregnant and Ray had taken off. The first couple of days she couldn't function, she didn't want to function. Not without him. She missed him. She missed him like crazy. She called his phone, but it would ring and ring and ring and then the voicemail would come on. She would cry, telling him he needed to come home. That she needed him. That she and the baby needed him. Then when the tears subsided she tried to guilt him into coming home. Telling his voicemail and hopefully him that he had promised her he wouldn't ever leave her.

Then came the hate messages when guilt tripping him didn't work. She hated him and wished he had never come into her life. She hoped that he stayed away, that her and the baby would be better off without him. That she didn't want him to come home and she was done. She didn't want his money that would mysteriously show up in her bank account.

She had also moved out of the apartment they shared. She didn't want anything that was there. All the clothes that he had bought her, all the furniture that he picked out. She didn't want to sleep in the same bed they once shared. She didn't want any of it. So one day while at work, bored, she had pulled up real estate listings and decided to look up two bedroom apartments. She found one her second search.

Ressler, of course, demanded to come with her, the overprotective fool that he was. Ever since he had learned of the pregnancy he wouldn't stop hovering. While at times she thought it was nice, other times it was annoying. Cooper had benched her from being in the field after a close call with someone they had been tracking down that was not a blacklister, he pushed into her causing her to lose her balance and fall. Ressler had immediately taken her to the hospital, demanding she be seen.

When the doctor on call had done a workup and an ultrasound and told Ressler that they were okay, he demanded she take a desk job. She argued against it, but Cooper ultimately sided with her partner. So while Samar and Ressler were out in the field, she was left behind in the office pouting. She was starting to learn a lot of other technical know-how from Aram, so at least there was some upside. She got to see what he did when her and Ressler had been out in the field.

So she finds herself looking over at her partner who had his head down, working on the paperwork in front of him. Lucky for her, not being in the field means less paperwork for her. Her cell phone rings and Ressler looks up at her. She scoops it up not bothering to look at the caller ID. She didn't know many people who would be calling her. Almost everyone she knew or who would call her worked here.

"Scott?"

"Dearie, may I…" she hears the unmistakable voice of Red's go-to body disposal expert Mr. Kaplan.

"No, you may not," her voice is clipped. Ressler frowns at her.

"Raymond…"

"Is not my concern any more. He took off almost three months ago. I have not heard from him and I do not want to hear from him."

"He's concerned for the well-being of you and his child."

"Concerned?" Lizzie lets out dark chuckle. "He's concerned? Then maybe he shouldn't have taken off like the coward he is. Maybe he should have sucked it up and stuck around like he told me he would. I do not want to hear about how concerned he is. I don't care how concerned he is. And another thing? His child? I think not. My child. My body. My baby." And with that she hangs up, not giving Mr. Kaplan a chance to respond.

Ressler gets up, coming to stand next to Lizzie. He runs his hand up and down her back as she puts her head into her hands. She takes a deep breath before looking up at Ressler.

"Everything okay?" he questions.

"No," she says, willing the tears not to fall. Another thing about this damn pregnancy? Hormones. She hated them. If she could get away with being pregnant and not have the damn hormones or the morning sickness, she would take it. "The nerve of that man. Who the hell does he think he is?"

"Raymond 'pain-in-all-our-asses' Reddington," Ressler supplies as Lizzie laughs. "What did he do this time?"

"He's 'concerned'," she makes quotes with her fingers. "Sending Mr. Kaplan to do his dirty work. Ugh!"

Ressler heads back over to his desk watching Lizzie pull out a Ziploc baggie full of oyster crackers. "What do you say we knock out of here a little early? We can stop and get some Chinese?" Ressler asks.

Lizzie shakes her head, popping a few crackers into her mouth. "Can't. Doctor says I have to lay off the Chinese and that I need to start eating healthier."

"No Chinese at all? How are you going to survive?" Ressler asks with a smile.

Lizzie sticks her tongue out at Ressler. "I can still have Chinese, but I need to limit my intake. And I need to find some place that doesn't have MSG in their food."

Ressler nods his head. "Yeah, yeah. It's bad for the baby," he remarks. He notices Lizzie staring at him. "What?"

"And how would you know that?"

"I know how to use Google," he defends.

"Mm-hmm," she replies popping another few crackers into her mouth.

~*~ TBL ~*~

Lizzie and Ressler leave at a reasonable hour that night. Cooper had warned them that since Red was in the wind that the task force was back into full 'find-Raymond-Reddington' mode. Cooper had stared at Lizzie making sure she got the message. Lizzie nodded but was worried. On one hand, she wanted Red back. He was the father of her baby, the love of her life. On the other hand, he could rot in jail for the rest of his life.

"Do you want to stop and get something to eat?" Ressler asks breaking his partner out of her thoughts.

"Sure," she replies, a smile overtaking her face before lapsing into silence. "You know what sounds really good?"

"Chinese?" Ressler asks with a grin.

Lizzie shakes her head laughing. "I was going to say Italian. Have to lay off the Chinese, remember?"

"Italian?" Ressler questioned. "Didn't you say sauce made you throw up? Because every time you've had anything like that you'd end up in the bathroom."

"It did, now it doesn't. Or maybe it will, who knows?" she shrugs her shoulders. "Ressler, the baby wants Italian. Are you really going to deny it Italian?" she turns to look at Ressler with a small pout on her face.

Ressler smiles, his blue eyes shining with happiness. "Definitely not. I know a place. It's good. Me and uh," he pauses and even though it was hard, it was getting better to say her name, "me and Audrey used to go there."

Lizzie nods her head. "If it's too hard, we don't have to."

"No, I want to. It still hurts. But I'm moving on with my life."

"That's good Ressler. That's really good. If only I could do the same," she replies with a sigh. Ressler looks over at her but says nothing. He knew she was still hung up on Red, he just didn't know how much.

Ressler pulls up to a small little Italian place by the name of Tony's. Lizzie gets out of the SUV and lets out a little groan at the small emanating from the restaurant. Ressler leads her in and over to where a podium stood with the hostess behind it. "Just two?" she questions looking at them.

"Yes please," Lizzie says looking around. There were landscaped pictures on the walls. Dark red, almost burgundy table clothes on the tables. The atmosphere was dark, but alluring at the same time. It almost looked like someplace lovers would come to but she saw plenty of families here at well. She felt at ease. Something she didn't feel as of late.

They took a look over their menus, making small talk. Since Ressler had been here before she asked what was good. "Pretty much everything," he replies. The waitress appears and they order, having decided quickly what they wanted.

"It's nice here," Lizzie replies looking around again. She couldn't shake the feeling they were being watched and it aggravated her. She knew he had someone watching her. There was only one person who could have someone watching her. All thoughts of her stalker disappeared as the food arrived.

"So, what do you think about this whole thing?" Ressler asks.

"This whole 'finding Red' thing?" Lizzie asks knowing exactly what her partner was asking.

Ressler nods watching Lizzie. He wasn't sure how she was dealing with this whole thing. He wanted to make sure she was okay with everything going on. Lizzie takes a moment to think. "I don't know Ress. Honestly, the way Cooper told us earlier, I think he wanted me to warn Red."

"Yeah, I got that as well. Are you going to? Warn Red?"

"I think he might know. I've had the feeling I'm being watched lately. Obviously, there is only person who would have someone watching me. So, I will call his phone and let Ray's voicemail know about the taskforce."

"I think that is a good idea," Ressler nods his head. Lizzie flashes her cell phone at him before getting up and heading towards the bathroom. Lizzie walks into the bathroom dialing Ray's number. She waits for the voicemail to come on, but gets a surprise when she hears Ray's voice.

"Lizzie?"

She pauses, surprised. "Don't speak. Just listen. Since you are in the wind the higher ups decided to put a halt on this whole 'blacklist' thing. They are starting to hunt you again. Cooper wanted me to warn you, without actually telling me to warn you. Be careful Ray. And I just wanted to tell you that I'm okay," she hangs up before he could respond. She didn't know if she would be able to stay strong if he were to try and talk to her. She leaves the bathroom and heads back to the table just in time to see Ressler tuck his wallet back into pocket.

"What if I wanted dessert?" she teases.

"I was thinking we could head to the park across the street. It's a nice night out and I know for a fact they have those ice cream carts there."

Lizzie nods and they get up heading out of the restaurant and to the park across the street. She takes in the familiar trails, they pass the playground she sat at the day she found out she was pregnant. They continue to walk in companionable silence before Lizzie slips her arm through Ressler's, laying her head on his shoulder as they continue walking. She stops suddenly, causing Ressler to stop as well. "Liz?" he asks concerned.

"It happened right here," she says, her eyes moist. Ressler stares at her, waiting for her to continue. "The day I told Ray I was pregnant. I can still remember his face. He looked horrified. I knew he wouldn't be pleased, but I didn't think he would be like that. When I realized he hated this," she gestures to her belly, "I left. I don't know how I made it to my car. My car was parked almost where your SUV is. My doctor's office is down a little bit from the restaurant. I had to stop on my way to the Post Office. I just started sobbing," she recalls allowing the tears to fall.

"Liz," Ressler's eyes were sad. He gathers her into his arms, letting her cry. "Listen, I want you to know I am here for you. For whatever you need. For whatever the baby needs. And if Reddington decides not to come back, I am willing to be there."

Lizzie hugs Ressler tighter. "Ress," she sighs out his name.

"I mean it. This kid is gonna need a father. I will be there."