Broken
Chapter 3
Disclaimer: See chapter one

A/N: Well this is it, the third and final chapter. I did not want to speculate any further into what may or may not happen in season four. My sole focus of this story was to cover the first few hours at the hospital. I knew that was where the most emotion would be for Castle. My belief is he is just as afraid of his feeling for Kate as she is for hers toward him. Love and fear make people act out of character at times and though Rick may seem out of character somewhat, I believe that his reactions in my story are plausible. I want to take a minute to thank everyone who has read, alerted and reviewed this story. It was originally a one-shot, that because of you guys became a three chapter endeavor. I hope this last chapter carries the same emotion as the first two, that was my goal. Thank you all again so much, you guys are 'Extraordinary'.-Montez

His hands were shaking. It had been twelve hours since his world had stopped turning, since time shattered its forward motion in his mind and his hands had started trembling. Twelve hours since they had started their constant motion, sometimes more noticeable than other, but always in his mind they were still covered in that indescribably red; the color of life, the color of death.

Twelve hours ago the almost indiscernible sound of a high-powered sniper rifle with a silencer had all but stole his world away from him. His mind played that moment over and over. Her voice had been so clear, unwavering, but he knew her well enough to know it was taking all she had to stand in front of those people and speak of a man who had meant so much to her, who, in the end, sacrificed himself in an attempt to right a wrong begun so many years ago, so save her. Little did anyone suspect how futile that sacrifice would turn out to be.

Jim Beckett had all but begged Rick to try and get his daughter to see reason, to not throw her life away in pursuit of her mother's killer. It wasn't an argument that Rick wasn't already trying for form within himself, however her father's visit had finally pulled all his scattered thoughts together. But that night in her apartment his words fell on terrified deaf ears, not that Kate Beckett would ever admit to being terrified, but Rick knew her well enough to see it, just beneath the surface. But true to form Kate had pushed his concerns aside, reminding him it was her mother's case, as if he needed to be reminded. He'd lived with the constant guilt of that fateful day in which he had convinced Esposito to show him Johanna Beckett's murder file.

Rick never believed the hell that would rain down on the one person he had wanted to bring peace to. Since that day it was as if the wound that had been scabbed over for so long had been ripped wide open and had continued to fester, all because of his arrogance in thinking he could fix anything with just his wit and charm. With every answer there had came more questions, questions that became harder and harder to answer. Questions that didn't bring the peace he had so wanted for Kate, but only more pain.

The argument that night went from him trying to convince Kate that she wasn't going to win this, that Lockwood would kill her, to what their relationship meant. He had tried to keep his feelings out of it, tried to get her to see reason, that there were so many people in her life that loved her, without coming out and saying it himself. In the heat of the moment it had been her that fired the blind shot across his bow, wanting to know what about him. Never in a million years did he think the table would be flipped. He saw something in her eyes as she asked that question, there was a pleading that almost, almost shattered his resolve to not let his own feeling lead the way. In that moment he let anger rise inside him, anger at all that they had shared, all that they had been through and now, when he was trying to convince her that her life was more important than finding her mother's killer, she had questioned what he felt about her.

In that moment he had brought up the kiss, the freezer, he told her he knew she was hiding in her mother's case because she was scared, just like she hid in relationships that she knew would go nowhere. He had told her she deserved to be happy, he wanted so much for her to see that all he wanted for her was for her to be happy, that 'he' wanted to make her happy. But it was in her next breath that she tore the rug out from under him, telling him they were over. The moment those words registered in his brain he found himself in a free-fall. His world started spinning out of control, he knew the minute he walked out her door that he was going to lose her and there wasn't a damn thing he could do to stop it.

Then Roy's phone call had come. The police captain hadn't told him anything other than he needed to come to the hanger, that he was the only one left that could save Kate. Rick had stayed in the shadows, just as Roy had asked him to. His heart had nearly stopped when Kate arrived and he saw Montgomery pull out a gun, but as he heard the words the Captain was saying, he started making his way closer. Rick knew he needed to be near Kate, he didn't know exactly what was going to happen, but knew he had to be close. When it was revealed that Kate was there to trap Lockwood it all came together as to why he'd been called. Roy had told him before, Jim had told him, that he was the only one that could save Kate from this and in the moment Roy told him to get Kate out of there, in the moment the headlights of the approaching car drew closer, Rick knew that he would do whatever it took to save Kate. He could remember the feel of her body as he wrapped his arms around her, using his height to his advantage as he lifted her off the ground and carried her, literally kicking and screaming from that hanger. He could remember the feeling of her nearly collapsing against him when he lowered her to the ground once they neared the car, her cries terrifying him as he pushed her against the vehicle, placing his hand over her mouth to stop the anguished sounds, fearful that any moment they would be found out. He purposely placed his body against hers; doing the only thing he could think of to shield her from the doorway of the hanger, praying that if Lockwood made it past Roy that his own body would offer Kate protection from the hired killer's bullets.

But those bullets never came, with the final shot from within the hanger everything stopped. Kate's struggling had stopped, Rick had stopped trying to quiet her, shield her, for a fraction of a second the world was quiet, but then Kate broke away from him. When she slipped from his grasp and ran back toward the hanger all he could do was stand there. Because of him it had all come to this, lies had stayed hidden until he started looking. Lives had been lived, but now too many had been lost.

The time between the hanger and the morning of the funeral was literally a blur in time to him. He and Kate hadn't spoken, even after the meeting with her, Ryan and Esposito; she had walked him to her door and without a word asked him to leave. It was Roy's wife that called him, to ask him to be a pallbearer. She also mentioned that Kate was going to speak and Rick knew, even if it was the last time he would see Kate, he was going to be there for her, he was going to stand by her side, just like always.

The sky had seemed unnaturally bright when they arrived at the cemetery; his dark glasses seemed to do little to shade his eyes from the brightness. Rick walked with Kate, Ryan, Esposito and two other officers from the twelfth as they carried Roy to his finally resting place. He glanced at Roy's widow, his children as he walked past, removing the dark lenses. Rick watched as the flag atop the coffin was folded and presented, in that moment he couldn't help but to be grateful to Roy for his sacrifice, for saving Kate. They all thought once Lockwood was dead, the threat would be over. They had no other leads, no other avenues to pursue.

When Kate approached the podium, Rick followed her, just as he always did, stopping a few feet from her. Their eye's never met, but he could tell from her posture, she knew he was there. Her voice rang out clear, confident. He watched her with the same admiration that he always did, he had told he not so long ago just how extraordinary she was and just a few short weeks ago how amazed he was of her strength, of her heart and at that moment in time, as he listened to her words and saw her turn and look at him, he knew he would never love another woman as much as he loved Kate.

Then in the next instant his world stopped turning. It was a flash of light; his mind desperately trying to work out what he'd seen when he saw it again. In that horrifying second when everything snapped together, all the pieces clicking in place and he realized what he was seeing, his mind, his body, his voice shifted into overdrive, but as that almost indiscernible sound reached his ears, he knew he was too late and that failure had plagued his mind and racked his body ever since.

Twelve hours ago the shaking began, ten hours ago the ER doctor had walked into the waiting room, six hours ago Detective Kate Beckett came out of surgery and now Jim Beckett and Richard Castle stood outside the doors of the ICU, looking in at the pale, still face of the woman they both loved.

When the surgeon had entered the private waiting room the hospital sat aside for Kate's family and friends, everyone seemed to be literally holding their breath. It was the doctor's words that allowed the people in that room to breathe again. Kate had survived the surgery and with time, should make a full recovery.

Rick had collapsed back into the chair he'd taken up residence in once arriving in the room. He listened as the surgeon spoke with Jim about his daughter, the bullet that had entered Kate's body had not done nearly as much damage as they had feared. It had not hit her heart as was feared in the beginning, but had somehow hit to the left by just centimeters, miraculously deflecting off one of her ribs, braking it. The bullet then exited her body on the left side, just under her arm, missing her lung as well. It had, however, caused extensive bleeding which had taken them time to repair, but they had found all the bleeders, used a small bracket to hold her rib together so it wouldn't slip and damage her lung and were working on replacing the blood she had lost.

She was in recovery for several hours so she could be monitored closely, but before she was moved to the ICU they had been able to take her off the ventilator they'd used during surgery. So the view Rick and her father now had was an unobstructed view. "You can go in now." The quiet voice of a nurse drew their attention.

"Thank you." Jim answered as he stepped to the door, turning when he didn't feel Rick moving with him. "Rick?"

Jim watched the man before him; he'd seen him crumble under the guilt of what had happened. Lanie had explained to him what had happened inside that small room all those hours ago. He had known the moment he had met Rick that night at his apartment that the man his daughter had talked so much about loved his daughter. Jim could see it in his eyes, in the way he spoke about Kate. He had heard it from Kate herself, though his daughter had seemed blind to just how much Richard Castle cared for her.

Rick's eyes never left Kate, "I…I can't." The writer's guilt filled eyes looked at Kate's father.

Jim stepped back to him, "She's going to be okay Rick."

"I should have protected her better, she pushed me away and I was hesitant…I didn't realize what I was seeing fast enough…" Rick again turned back to the window.

Something in Jim snapped, he had watched this man beat himself up for hours, but Jim knew his daughter needed this man by her side if she was going to get through this and he needed Rick to see it. "Damn it Rick you are as thick as Katie says you are aren't you?"

Rick was stunned by Jim's words. Turning he actually saw the man chuckle slightly, "What?"

"It is because of you she is laying in there…" Jim saw the guilt and hurt flash in Rick's eyes as he said those words, so he hurried to continue. "and not in the morgue." Now it was confusion Jim saw in Rick's face, "How much of what the doctor said did you actually here?"

"What? I don't…once he said she would survive, I don't really remember…what? Why?" For the first time since the surgeon came into the room, Rick realized that once he zoned out again, something important must have been said.

"Did you hear how the bullet missed her heart?" Jim asked then watched Rick nod. "What about how her rib deflected the bullet, causing it to exit out her side, just under her arm?"

Rick continued to nod, "I heard that…was there something else?"

"Did you hear the doctor's explanation as to why he believed that happened?" Jim saw Rick's brow wrinkle in concentration before the younger man shook his head.

"It's the doctor's theory that she was turning, that in the moment that bullet hit her, she had moved slightly, causing it to miss her heart and somehow follow her ribcage around and out. Do you which direction she was turning?" Jim knew if the man before him was really thinking, that the question would have gotten an automatic response, but when Rick hesitated Jim finished. "She was turning toward you."

"What?" Rick's mind tried desperately to pull up the memory before his shaking, blood covered hands. Going back to the fraction of a second before the bullet reached Kate, before he reached Kate, to the moment he called out her name and started moving. Jim watched the preverbal light go off over Rick's head. "She heard me?" Rick had moved and called her name at the same time and in that second she had reacted to his voice and turned toward him.

Jim nodded his head, "It's the doctor's theory that when Katie turned just that little bit before she was hit, that that is what saved her life Rick. If you hadn't been standing where you were, by her side just like she tells me you always are, then you wouldn't have seen that reflection, you wouldn't have reacted and called out to her, she wouldn't have turned and I wouldn't be getting to see my daughter in the ICU, I would be seeing her in the morgue."

Jim Beckett watched, as for the first time since they had arrived at the hospital, light return to Rick's eyes. They weren't dimmed by grief and guilt, but brightened by hope. "Now I want to see my daughter and I know she's going to want to see you when she wakes up, so let's go in there and convince her it's time to wake up." Jim felt himself smile slightly for the first time since this all began and he saw Rick's mouth curve upward as well. Together both men walked through the door.

Two hours later Rick found himself in Kate's room by himself. Lanie and Martha had convinced Jim to get something to eat. Alexis had pleaded with her father to come with them, but he refused, he did promise his daughter that he would eat whatever she brought him back. He could see that his breakdown and collapse had scared his daughter. Hell when he realized what had happened, his mother, Ryan and Esposito had filled him in on the bits and pieces he couldn't remember, most notably trashing the vending machine room and passing out, it had scared him too. Rick knew it would be a while before his daughter or mother let him out of their sight for long, but he promised his little girl that he would be okay sitting with Kate, after all their were a steady stream of nurses and doctors moving around the ICU.

Rick had been sitting in the chair beside Kate's bed, watching the rise and fall of her chest, and listening to the steady rhythm of the heart monitor. He would reach out occasionally to touch her hand, or rub her arm, but each time he would hesitate because his own hands, despite being able to see Kate, knowing she was going to be okay, would not stop shaking. However after two hours, he needed to touch her, to feel the warmth of her skin, to just have that tangible feeling that only touch could give, that she was really there.

Standing up he stepped to the side of her bed, "God, Kate you are still beautiful." Rick whispered out as he took in her still slightly pale complexion, her hair was disheveled from where they had unceremoniously taken out the loosened bun it had been in, it now laid mostly to one side. He slowly reached his hand toward the top of her head, allowing her chestnut hair to slip through his fingers, his other hand slipping under the one by her side, his fingers curling gently around hers.

He leaned in ever so slightly, his mind again flashing back to the last time he'd been this close, he was so sure she had been slipping away from him. "I meant what I said to you…I love you Kate…I don't know exactly when it happened or how it happened, but I know I love you…" For a moment his mind filled with an image of Kate leaning over him, her green eye's sparkling in recognition as he could swear he heard her voice whisper in his ear, "I love you too Rick, I love you too."

Rick's thoughts were brought back to the woman before him as he felt movement on his hand. He quickly looked down and saw her smaller hand close ever so slightly around his, "Kate?" He looked back up at her face to see those beautiful green-eyes looking back at him. "Oh God Kate…can you hear me? Are you really awake?"

The grip on his hand became stronger as her eye's blinked slowly, a faint smile pulling at the corner of her mouth, "Rick?' She whispered, but it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard.

"Yeah, hey…I'm right here." He choked, tears filling his eye's as she turned her head slightly toward him, his thumb coming to rest on her forehead as he started moving it in a soothing motion, "Just take it easy, you're gonna be okay…God I was so afraid I lost you."

"'fraid…I lost…you too." Kate whispered as she struggled to keep her eyes open.

"I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere." Tears slipped from his eyes; taking a deep breath he repeated what he had told her all those hours ago, just before she had slipped away from him, "Kate, I love you." He was in with both feet now, he didn't care if she loved him back, he just needed her to know that he loved her.

He felt her squeeze his hand again, her eye's reopening to meet his, the most beautiful smile he had ever seen crossed her face as her voice whispered just before sleep reclaimed her, "I love you too."

In that instant his world was righted again, time began moving forward, the pieces of his shattered soul were finally finding their way back together. Rick leaned down and kissed her forehead, then looking down at her hand curled around his, he realized his own hand had finally stopped shaking.