***Thanks for reading and commenting. Many of you have questions and I'll try to answer as many as I can as I weave the plot. Occasionally, I may throw in a short drabble/blurb just to bridge the gaps.
***Thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy and Twi-Carol for beta'ing so fast and to Lady Tazz for pre-reading.
***I still don't own anything pertaining to Twilight unless you include this unhealthy obsession… I'm afraid that's all mine.
Jasper
Idiot human child!
Wasn't it bad enough she ruined Edward's miserable life? Now she thought she was going to save me? I didn't need her help. I needed to get the hell out of here. I was doing okay roaming the country-side with Peter and Char. It was just like old times, but then Alice called and insisted I come back here. Normally, I wouldn't have listened, but then she started spewing some bullshit about how I owed her after all the years she put up with my fuckery. I hated to admit it, but I still had a soft spot for Alice, even if we weren't together anymore.
I watched from the window as Bella hopped in that deathtrap of a truck of hers, smiled and waved at me.
Fuckin' waved!
I shook my head, let out a low growl and stepped away from the window. She was throwing off so many emotions in the little bit of time she was here, but when she left, I felt anticipation and hope.
What the hell?
What could she possibly think I had to offer her? I was a big part of the reason her life was in such a shambles in the first place. She should take this opportunity to run fast and far.
I thought back to how I'd gotten here in the first place. After Bella's catastrophic birthday party, Alice and I decided to end the charade and call it quits. We'd been together for so many years, but deep down we both knew we weren't true mates. We loved each other, we enjoyed one another's company and we were compatible, but after feeling that fiery passion Rose and Em had, the undying devotion of Carlisle and Esme and the depths of Peter and Char's love, I knew it wasn't the same with Alice. She always agreed she saw different lives for us in the future, but the future always seemed a long way off and it was just easier for us to stay together.
I went to Texas and took up my old lifestyle with Peter and Char, but it didn't take me long to remember why Alice found me alone and desperate in Philadelphia in the first place. I loved my brother and his mate, but their nomadic way of life was a bit draining.
Ironic?
Feeding from humans did things to a man, especially when that man was an empath. Yes, I craved and indulged in human blood, and as satiating as it all was, it never left me feeling satisfied emotionally. I hated dealing with my victims final emotions. But, I was a vampire, and we lived off blood, so what choice did I have?
Every time I asked myself that question, one name came to mind…
Carlisle
He taught us we had a choice, and I knew how disappointed he was I'd strayed from the family. But, after living so many years going against what was natural, I felt I owed it to be true to myself.
Too bad it didn't work out the way I wanted, I thought as I stood over the two large elk I'd just taken down.
Idiot human child…
As promised, Bella came a knockin' at my door the next night. I no sooner opened it and she was stumbling through with what appeared to be an overnight bag on her shoulder and two large grocery bags in her arms.
"Hey," she said as she shoved the bags into my arms, stopping to stare into my eyes. "There's gold around the edges. How'd that happen?"
"I fed from two elk," I told her. "It'll take a while before my golden eye color comes back completely."
"Hmm," she continued to stare. "Freaky."
"What's all this?" I looked down at the bags that were now in my hands.
"Groceries," she said. "I figured since I'd be spending the weekend, I'd need to be able to eat."
What the fuck?
"Spending the weekend? That's not a good idea."
Was she out of her mind?
"Sure it is." She smiled as she dropped her bag in the foyer and headed to the kitchen. I followed her like some stray cat. "I told Charlie I was spending the weekend with some girls I met at school and he was thrilled, so he won't be looking for me."
"Maybe it's not too late for you to catch up with those girls?" I put the bags on the counter. No way did I want her here all weekend. She smelled too damn good, and by now it was as if I never even fed. She immediately started emptying the groceries onto the counter.
"They don't really exist," she said. "I don't have any friends other than Jake and the guys."
"Why not?"
"It's hard for me to trust people," she said.
"Maybe you should go discuss that with your shrink?" I noted. "You could probably get in to see him tonight if you really tried. I'm sure I could dazzle him into it."
"You're so funny." She laughed as she hit my arm. She shook out her hand because she felt the impact more than I did.
I didn't get her at all. Why would she risk being around me?
"Jasper," she said. "I've been thinking."
Oh, dear God!
"Maybe you're here for me," she said. "Maybe we need one another. You know, because we're both so alone and all."
"I don't think that's it at all," I said.
"You don't think? So, you're not sure why you're here, so you could be here for me?"
What?
I could feel how excited and thrilled she was by that notion. I didn't know why, but I felt bad to burst her little Bella bubble.
"I suppose," I unenthusiastically answered. "But, really, why would I be here for you? You seem to be doing just fine without me."
"Hmm." She smiled, but I felt her loneliness. She was right, it mirrored my own.
"Bella," I started, but she stopped me because she was afraid I was going to tell her to leave.
"Do you want to watch a movie?" she asked.
I stared at her for a few moments, but couldn't find it within my dead heart to turn her away. "Fine," I sighed. "Let's go. What's two hours when you have an eternity?"
"Cool!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me down the hall to the family room. She was full of excitement and enthusiasm.
She plopped down on the couch and patted for me to sit next to her.
"I can stand," I told her.
"To watch a movie?"
"I don't need to sit," I reminded her.
"Well, I need you to sit because it'll be too weird if you stand."
"Fine," I huffed. She was becoming a bigger inconvenience than I initially thought. Why I didn't bolt from this sleepy little town yesterday was beyond me.
"No!" She screamed when I headed for the recliner in the corner of the room.
"What is it now?" She was really trying my patience.
"Next to me." She smiled as she patted the spot next to her again.
"This is why you have no friends," I said as I reluctantly sat down next to her. "You're far too demanding. Much more than I remember."
"You didn't know me that well before you left," she said. "But, I'm not that girl you all left behind." I felt her sadness and desperation. She wasn't over us leaving her behind and I had to wonder if that had to do with Edward abandoning her.
About an hour into the movie, Bella's head started to bob back and forth, and I could feel her drifting off. She rested her head against my shoulder. I looked down at her sleeping against me and for the briefest of seconds it felt… right. Almost as if she belonged there.
What the fuck?
I pushed her off me and moved to the other side of the couch.
"Hmm," she said as she woke up. "Sorry."
"Maybe it's time for you to go home now," I suggested.
"Charlie's working late," she said. "And, Jake took off yesterday and hasn't come back."
I felt how alone she was.
"Are you alone often?"
She nodded.
"It's fine." She managed a small smile, but she was anything but happy. "I'm used to it."
She got up and headed for the door, grabbing the bag she'd left in the foyer on her way in.
"Where are you going?"
"I've taken up too much of your time," she said. "I know you don't want me here."
"Well, okay," I said feeling like a jerk, but it was better if she left.
"Thanks for watching the movie with me," she said as she reached for the door handle. "And, for humoring me." It was very clear to me that all she was looking for was some companionship. I just couldn't be what she was looking for to fill this void in her life.
"Wait!" I moved to stand directly in front of her. I was so close, too close. I could feel her warm breath on my face.
She looked up at me with those big brown eyes but she didn't say anything, just waited for me to speak.
"Listen," I said. "It isn't that I don't want you here, it's just you shouldn't get attached to me."
"Oh, get over yourself, Jasper Hale."
"Whitlock," I mumbled. "And, I'm not full of myself, I'm an empath, do you know what that means?"
She nodded, feeling embarrassed.
"I already feel you becoming attached to me."
"And, you don't reciprocate," she said.
"No." I shook my head.
"Oh, well, then I won't take up anymore of your time." She smiled and waited for me to move out of the way. "It was nice seeing you though."
She was so sad and disappointed. It physically hurt me. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.
"Bella, it's not a good idea for you to spend the night here. I don't trust myself with you in the house all night. You smell really good and if you were to cut yourself, I don't think I could stop and this time Emmett and Carlisle won't be here to save you."
"That wasn't your fault," she whispered. "You're a vampire and I was bleeding. I never blamed you."
She was telling the truth.
"Yes, well, that night changed everything, didn't it?"
She nodded. "But, maybe we needed that change."
"I don't want to hurt you anymore," I said.
"You're not hurting me," she whispered. "I was looking forward to coming here tonight."
"I know and those kinds of feelings will only end badly for you," I said. "I don't plan on staying around much longer."
"Hmm." I felt her determination. "Do you think you'll be here tomorrow?"
"Probably," I sighed.
Her excitement crashed into me so hard it almost knocked me back.
"You're extremely stubborn."
"I know." She giggled and it sounded so cute.
Cute? Ah, fuck!
"I'll come back tomorrow, since you'll still be here."
"Fine!" I growled.
She lowered her eyes and bit her lip. Her face was flushed and I noticed her nipples were straining against her t-shirt.
Are you kidding me?
She was aroused.
"Bye, Jasper."
I slowly moved out of her way and watched as she walked out to her truck. She took a deep breath and pushed the hair from her face before she opened the door and sped off.
Humans were supposed to fear my growl, not be turned on by it. She had to be the strangest girl I'd ever encountered. I listened as her truck made its way down the dirt path, but I wanted to make sure she got home safely. It was late and her father wasn't home, so I didn't see the harm in me checking in on her, especially with the unfortunate luck she had.
I took off through the woods, following her scent, staying a safe distance behind her. Once she pulled into her street and was securely in the house, I decided to do a perimeter check. What I was looking for, I had no idea, but the Major in me wanted to cover all bases. Once I was satisfied with the outcome of my sweep, I headed to the tree line of her backyard and watched her bedroom window. She was getting ready for bed.
I stayed for a few minutes more, not exactly understanding why I felt the need to make sure she was safe, but each time I tried to leave, my feet seemed to stay planted firmly in the ground. This was ridiculous. She had gotten along just fine without me for nineteen years, so why did I think she needed me now?
Just as I was about to leave, the stench of dog assaulted my nostrils. I let out a low, territorial growl. I didn't want the wolves anywhere near Bella.
I turned and faced the intruders, but to my surprise they weren't in wolf form; just two men standing before me, well one was actually a boy.
"What are you doing here, bloodsucker?" the younger one asked.
"Seth," the older one scolded. "Please excuse my friend, he's young and automatically thinks that all cold ones are enemies."
I nodded.
"I'm Sam and this is Seth," he said. "We're friends of Bella's and we check on her every night."
"Why?"
"She's very unlucky when it comes to the supernatural," Sam answered.
How could I disagree?
"And, we don't want to see her get hurt," Seth said. "So, leave her alone."
I definitely didn't like them staking some sort of claim to Bella.
"I'm not here to hurt her," I said. "She left my house and I wanted to make sure she got home safely."
I could feel their skepticism over my words.
"Why was she at your house?" Sam asked.
"She was visiting," I said.
"Well, maybe it would be best if you left Forks," he said. "Bella doesn't need any more aggravation from your kind."
"That's not your call to make." I said.
"I'm the one who found Bella in the woods the night your brother left her alone and afraid," Sam said. "I carried her catatonic body back to her father. I watched as she fell apart." I could feel how much he cared for her.
"He left her alone in the woods?" I asked, incredulously.
"Don't act like you care," Seth said.
"She's healing now and she's trying to move on from that incident," Sam informed me. "So, if you genuinely care for her well being, you should leave her alone."
"I'll leave, like I said, I was just making sure she got home without incident."
"Thank you," Sam said. "But, we can manage from here."
I took off into the woods. I ran as far and as fast as I could. I didn't want to hear her heartbeat anymore tonight. It was a distraction I didn't need.
He left her alone in the woods. What kind of asshole leaves a human girl alone in the woods, defenseless and unprotected? He knew better than any of us what was out there. No wonder she came seeking us out yesterday. She was hurt and afraid and we left her. She trusted all of us.
Sam was right; she didn't need any more aggravation from us. I should leave her alone. The only problem was I didn't think I could leave her. Just thinking about it caused me great discomfort.
Fuck Me!
***Or me... lol
***If you want a teaser leave me love.
