I stared at her blankly. At this anxiety filled moment the butterflies in my stomach were swirling around in my heart faster than the little tornadoes of leaves on the ground at the park.
"...You liked it!?" I managed to choke out. I don't know why, but it seemed like someone had punched me in the stomach. Was this some kind of cruel joke?
"I should really go, Im sorry Fi." she said frantically ans she collected her Bebe gloves from her lap and hitched her Michael Korrs bag onto her shoulder.
"No no!" I exclaimed as I grabbed her arm as she got up.
"Its embarrassing Fi." She almost whined. I could see that she was extremely uncomfortable. A woman of such grace and poise, Holly J, someone capable of speaking in front of large crowds, dictating everyone beneath her's every move... scared. Uncomfortable. Frightened. This is a side of Holly J Ive never seen. This is a side of Holly J I never wanted to see. "Not to mention that this is the absolute WRONG time in your life for me to dump this all on you." She continued as she looked at the ground frantically shaking her head and flailing her hands. I offered a kind hand on her lap. She was scared. I was scared too.
"Its not fair to you Fiona." She said, finally looking me in the eyes, as she grabbed my hand. She was shaking. "You dont need any more added stress. Im so stupid."
"No-Holly J... I liked it too." Holly looked as if someone had just told her that she wasn't voted Class President.
"You mean... you liked the kiss?" She said disbelievingly. "You like me?" She was beyond shocked.
Two Alphas sitting in the park, both scared, both confused. Totally uncharacteristic of the both of us. A moment of silence had passed to let what we both confessed sink in. I really said that. She really said that. My iPhone went off in my pocket, which destroyed the moment and snapped me back into reality. I pulled my phone out of my yet-to-be-released Birkin bag. As if my anxiety couldn't get any worse, my Mother was calling. I silenced it and put it on my lap.
"It was my mom." I said quietly. Holly J was in her own world. She sat in silence, in complete shock.
Goddammit Fiona! Say something! You always are in control of a situation, and NOW you're at a loss for words?
Ya know, its weird. I mean, with you, and Declan, and all the rumors and tabloid drama... none of that changes the fact that I think you're très adorable, and my heart sank when you called me here because I thought you were going to give me bad news..."
Disbelievingly she stared at me. "Fiona- Are you serious?" She calmed down, and swallowed hard. Preparing herself for my response. Bracing herself for the news that could shatter her heart, or make it bloom.
"Yes."I said quietly with smile. i cant believe i honestly admitted to the most beautiful girl at Degrassi that I, Fiona Coyne, was in love with her.
"Well, what are we going to? Like, your mother is going to freak the hell out, and (she pauses)... Declan.." Holly J started shaking her head looking at her shoes. It was as if they broke up all over again. The wound was still fresh. But I was there. It was my responsibility to heal her. I wanted to make her feel more than 100% better. I wanted the world for this woman.
I lightly squeezed her hand. "We'll just keep it on the DL for now, okay?" I smiled. Half confident, half scared out of my wits.
"Oh shit, I have to get going to The Dot. Yale isn't going to pay for itself!" She released my hand and got up.
"Goodbye Fiona. Text me, k?" She smiled flirtatiously, and blew a kiss. She turned around and as I watched her exit our moment, she was a vision of beauty. The leaves danced around her and bowed at her feet. the sun shone only on her. The world stopped when Holly J smiles. We were in a bubble. At that moment I had realized that other than my mother calling me, I had no knowledge of anything else happening in that moment. It was only her. Her and I. As soon as she was far enough away, I laid back on the bench, let my hair fall behind its back rest, looked to the sky and exclaimed "YESS!" In sheer giddy excitement. Nothing could bring me down from this moment. Nothing.
For fear of looking like a total freak sitting alone on a park bench, I decided to head home. I sat up to look at my phone.
"BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER YOUR OWN LIFE, AND DECIDED TO IGNORE MY CALLS,YOU START BACK AT VANDERBILT NEXT MONDAY." - Mom
What. The. Fuck.
