Part 3 for this story, now Dave met his dear old John at his house and meeting with the other Loud Sisters for a while.


Chapter 3: Hanging out in John's house


[9:00 PM]

Watching one of John's shitty movies of Nicholas Cage, especially Con-Air with the bunny in the box scene that took me every damn time of how fucking stupid this movie really is to John. Lynn and Luan are besides us as we're munching on some popcorn that his dad just popped for us.

"I said put the Bunny back in the box!"

That line always gets to me as Lincoln, Lynn, and even I snicker of how fucking cheesy this is. But John taking it way too literal for his own good that it's all too serious for his mind to make up, I mean really, put the bunny back in the box? Who is the guy that wrote this movie again?

After this movie, I think John told us that we're going to watch Vampire's Kiss which is a film that based on how Nicholas Cage goes crazy and being vampire bullshit. By crazy, I mean not acting crazy; I meant actually being bat-shit crazy in this film, although, it is better than Twilight though which Rose is fucking obsessed over it on that horribly made book for pre-teens to jack off to dudes who has severe levels of flamboyant faggotry including the Mary Sue what's her face dating them. As her 'character' is really fucking great to introduce to new readers.

For Luan, she seems to be deeply attuned into this crappy film as she's munching on the pop-corn way too much of how dramatic this is. Making me believe that she might be a female clone of John over here as she got so overly fucking excited of the 'conflict' that Cage is dealing with. I have a guess that she is an extreme all-out Nicholas Cage fan like my buddy Egbert and I cannot see the difference between those two now. For me and Lynn…in some extend Lincoln, we really don't give a shit about this film of what we're seeing as we are basically bored as fuck.

After a couple of minutes of some guy singing 'he got the whole wide world' while playing dolls, bunny going to get it cheesiness with a token character getting shot, Nic Cage reach Las Vegas and bad guy got his head crushed. Now we're listening to How Do I live and meeting the kid Casey who is confused as fuck of a random stranger being her dad.

Now that shit fest of a movie is over, I heard John and Luan got all gitty up of how great this film is as we're going to watch a film that revolves around vampires with Nicholas Cage going psycho.

When John placed the disc on the DVD and got back to his cheap, rough ass couch which my own ass is hurting a lot by sitting on this lump of crap. He was about to press play until someone walk up to us.

Turning to the guy who's making the footsteps, it is no other than John's Dad and all of his personal business shit attire as it includes smoking through his O' classic tobacco pipe that is on his mouth. As high chances he might develop lung cancer in the near future and John will be mourning for his lost.

"Oh hey Dad, excuse me…I remembered I need to chat with my dad since he called Lynn's and Luan's sister Lori to pick them up during the night." Hearing the big sad 'ah' from those three people I just met couple of hours ago. So why do I even sympathize with them? In which that reminds me-who the fuck is the white haired kid again?

Little do I know, John is getting worked up all of the sudden when he saw his father, and you guessed it, he has a pie under his sleeve which is quite fucking predictable…if that ever makes sense to me of why he uses one of the oldest, pretentious joke clichés to ever be perform again.

In quick-stop reaction, John's daddy throws his piece of shit pie where it might be filled with shaving cream or not. Of what it matters is that John ducked away of the sperm like projectile as it missed its intended target-and it's about to land on me which is really fucking great.

Again, doing the unthinkable which is not, I was now near the T.V set all of the sudden as the spermed up pie missed me.

For the pie of where it landed, it was now sticking on Lynn's face…smattering her with its creamy goodness as it's getting my Virgin in Rage turning me on here, where my hetero and homo urges are starting to mix inside of me and blighting out sexual word salad that no one fucking understands at all.

"Arghh?! What the heck was that for-and how did you do that Dave?! I really want to learn that!" What-oh that one…you need to learn that from my Bro and Bro is a good person. In fact, so much karma good he got there in his soul that he'll show you his collection of fucking puppets as he'll give you good memories of it.

Everything is good of what I've think…and I don't trust them.

"Talk to Bro and you better be prepared for it because nobody will withstand his ironic tendencies. There will be a point that it will become fucking retarded to understand of what the hell he is doing." To clarify of what I meant to her as her face is filled with utmost hope which there will be none to me when she finds out about him, I spoke again. "No seriously, you really shouldn't talk to him at all…trust me, it's really gonna' fuck you up."

"Screw that, I really want to learn on how to do it Dave! So bring up your Bro if you have the chance!" But she has so much fucking DETERMINATION that she really wants to challenge Bro's weeaboo martial arts to endure his bullshit and I have no problem with it.

Still inserting my self-hatred of existing and living with Bro, before John here who can talk to his daddy over at the kitchen, I heard knocking noises coming from the front door and I wonder. Who could that be at the door which I don't care at all?

As John's Dad walk up to the door in this dimly lit living room we are in. With popcorn crumbs scatter across the floor where I heard crushing noises by his shoe. John's daddy fling the door open and a massive hoard of girls came out of nowhere, bum rushing towards me in extreme excitement. I wonder why are they so excited about because I am sort of self-entitled douche and being a whiny bitch at the same time to them? Let's find out everybody.

"Lucy told us about a new neighbor who is a boy and hanging out with Lynn?! Like oh my GOSH! That is soooo romantic and this is looks like a double date you guys!" Like who the fuck is this blonde douche and acting like a bimbo simultaneously? Insulting my manly heritage with such sacrilege words that my mind went into unwarranted rage of how she insulted my sexual preference of this scene as if my Social Justice mood go into a full-on retarded frenzy. This is nothing to do with my insecure sexual urges to bang this Jock girl and my black haired nerd besides me. I have no reasons at all.

Also I don't fucking understand of what I am talking about right now. But the blonde chick has to cause me to spas out with my own version of retardation. Speaking of retardation, why do I have a feeling that this girl might have some sort of…mental problem?

You know…I feel this girl somehow related to someone but it's really fucking opposite. But I don't know who exactly?

"I'm offended of what you said as I have the right to bitch about it and I'm a proud fucking homosexual-was it pan-whatever, fuck it, I'm bisexual." I don't understand half of what fucking Tumblr keep spitting out to me. But sure, I'll conform of whatever they say for my own amusement of reading it.

"Wait? So you are into ladies and dudes…literally?!" Oh dear god, did she just fucking bastardized the word literal or she just properly use the damn word? Hope I am not right on the bastardizing the word of the former or else that our society is truly becoming more retarded by the day.

Better hope Lynn is proud of this disgusting moment I have here-and why the fuck she has so many fucking siblings? Is her dad has an undeniable, unsatisfied fetish for girls to get pregnant a lot? I hope it's false because that would be fucked up.


[Lynn]

"I detect you're using Facebook way too much for my own comfort, so how about you stop right there on my own personal issue as this is giving me this Tumblrite micro-aggression feeling which I don't like, so drop that subject right now bitch." Hearing Dave with a snarky tone in it towards my Sis' Lori which she got slightly annoyed of him as he noticing her…well, her social networking habits and the way she talks as it's pretty much not indefinite to everyone. For John, Luan, and Lincoln, the three are being quiet but I see the jokers are snickering of Dave's throwback while Lincoln starting to cower in fear of Dave's safety.

"What did you say about me and what the heck is a micro-aggression you little twerp-?" Before she can argue of anything with Dave here, I saw Lana and Lola rush up to him and interrupting of what Lori is about to say as the twin shouting in excitement.

"Yo Dave?! Are you actually dating John or is it our sis Lynn?!" "Yeah, are you into girlie stuff as well just like me?" Again, he got more annoyed of them questioning of what his sexuality is. But still kept his stoned face on.

"Goddamn it. I said before, I don't really care. Also to pinkie over there, how about no this time on the frilly faggoty metrosexual fashion thing that you are suggesting-and please restrain yourself on talking to a man who might be fifty percent gay to do your own narcissism urging you to bring up that subject again. Like God Bear and Raptor Jesus smite my ass for being a humongous undecided faggot in the name of the Autistic Man-child Mary Sue." Looking at them with indifference and getting agitated by the twins pestering with Lola looking a little bit piss on Dave's throwback burn on her. It's Luna turn to pester him and starting to question Dave's interest which predictably is music.

I forgot to mention, how is an autistic man-child relates to this?

"Yo little dude! What's your favorite type of musical genre? Mine is rock!" As Luna being Luna brought her guitar with her as she begins to stream her guitar with sick riffs. But Dave here again, being stoic as ever just simply replied of his type of genre.

"Something with electronic and DJ stuff, probably those 16-bit noises or just plain out New-Wave crap if I ever get into it, OR just fuck around and just scratching the damn discs for no apparent reason at all." Wait-so he's into techno or dubstep stuff that to do with synthesize or something like that? That sounds pretty damn cool to me.

Wanting to see Lucy react to this, but knowing Lucy all too well, she isn't really interested on learning about Dave here and his odd personality he has. As she silently read her dark, an edgy poem in her hands, but more importantly, where the heck is Lisa?! I don't see her anywhere in our group? I know Lily isn't here to do obvious reasons but where is Lisa?

"Um guys? Where is Lisa?" Searching around in the room if I can find Lisa anywhere but she isn't here. What happened to her?

"Oh yeah, about her…she's still at the STEM convention and she didn't call us yet. But Dad told me to pick her up just in case. So after this, we head there. So anyways, Luan, Lynn, and Lincoln, get your butt on the car right now." Oh come on Lori! Is it really the time to leave because I still want to know more about this cool dude who is near me!

But Lincoln got very up-tight about it from leaving our old buddy John's house as he wants to be friends with Dave-and he start to complain at Lori with sheer aggression which is a surprise for everyone here since he usually doesn't act that way unless it's really important to him.

"No! I want this moment to be perfect to befriend Dave over there and I just about to watch another terrible film with John and-what the?"


[Dave]

Oh boy, here comes the white haired kid being all defensive over me and I want to know why he's still obsessed on befriending me. Is it a fake friendship thing he wants to make with me…or something else which both of us agreed on as I don't mind underage Hanky-Panky with this desperate prick-and what with his deal over me anyway?! Is he really that desperate?

Seeing he made some stupid, flamboyant speech he made about me that like I will suck on his Twinkie of how mighty I am and being rather pointless at the same time. I felt something nudge on my shoulder and I turn to see Lil Cal is here watching over this scene. Oh…it just Lil Cal.

Okay, now back of what I am describing. As the white haired kid about to do something intelligent that would loss some of his brain cells and probably would pissing me off at the process-WHAT THE FUCK!?

Oh shit, if Cal is here then Bro is here. That means we are all fucked!

Turning back to the fucking puppet if it is still there along my eyes not deceiving for crap, that little fucker is now gone from my sight which is a bad sign here. As you know what it is going to happen next and it is going to be fucking terrible for everyone who is inside this house. The only one who I know that I lived under is going to wreck some shit of your very own mind.

Knowing Bro, his irony is at a tenfold climax to fuck around with us and probably going ape-shit with his SAW theme bullshit to screw with me as the victims around me is going to be in the crossfire of his ironic mind games. Hope they pray to God because this shit will go down.

After I mentally said that, the lights went off as I can't see jack shit now. Probably Bro cut the power as he is setting up his traps to psychologically fuck with us. By then, I heard something slapped onto something which sounded like paper? Later, a lot of confusion with some hint of fearful gawking of wanting to know of what the hell is going on here as they are in the middle of Bro's petty schemes to screw with me.

"What's going on dude?!"

"This is literally terrifying!"

"Like this isn't good for everyone you know as we can't see right. Right guys?"

"Leni, we already know-and I don't want to bump on anything that would ruin my dress for the pageant!"

"Um Lola…that isn't the right time to think about those girly dresses since I can't see."

"You gotta' nighty-night together, right guys? Ha, ha!"

"Arghh Dave, what's happening in my house?"

"Yeah man, I can't see crap around us and I might break my good sport ankle for my game."

Before I can respond of Bro's presence and start playing his game in-

Three…

Two…

Before I can say one, the lights immediately went up and-FUCK ME IN SIDE WAYS! GODDAMN SMUPPETS?!

Freaking the fuck out of seeing the many penis noses, soft ass multi-color puppets scatter across the room and having their big obnoxious ass smile that I want to decapitate one of those fuckers but I don't have my goddamn shitty sword with me. So I'm pretty much fucked and keep staring at these abhorrent sex creations of God's ass!

Keep your fucking cool Dave, Bro is just completely fucking with you so he can probe my goddamn mind of what I am thinking-and I don't want to let him win over this crap that happens five hundred fucking times already!

Keeping my fucking cool before I can go bleating like a rabid hyper-god tier goat of what's happening here. The others who are in here starting to freak out and concern of why there's a bunch of phallus nose, soft ass puppets everywhere in the house. Also, there's a letter sticking on the Flat Screen T.V with red fake blood written all over it. Which the Crayola written letter speaks many things to me like:

HELLO DAVE

WANT TO PLAY A GAME

IF SO, YOU MUST FIND ME OR EVERYONE WILL DIE HERE BY THE SHEER AMOUNTS OF BOOTY TO DO YOUR OWN NEGLECT OF LOOKING OVER YOUR MENTALLY CHALLENGE GUARDIAN

As I read it, everyone was then shoved with the magical puppet asses onto their faces in a split second and everyone is screaming, muffled out by the magnificent butt-cheeks plundering upon their faces except for me since Bro want to witness this unholy scandalous scene with my very own eyes of how messed up this is for my own stupid, self-entitled innocence be shattered by the so called sacrilege. Well except for the scatterbrain blonde girl who seems to be having a mental disability starting to panic of what's happening around her. I'm going to question Bro of why he is not suffocating her but that's going to spoil the ironic surprise for me.

After getting paraded with highly erotic Bro's puppets and the people around me suffering from lack of oxygen of how really fucking severely straight up dumb this is. I just get up from the rough ass couch and just left as that. Heading to the door where everything is just goddamn irrelevant to me, even everybody around me is choking to death where I should probably scream which is nonexistent.

Opening the door to witness the midnight clear sky and hearing the serenity crickets chirping while the screams of suffocating victims are behind me. I walk out onto the paved cement floor to the rear of the sidewalk. I saw Bro 'was' leaning on John's plain, old fashion mailbox. But I see shit loads of flickering going around me which he is saying hi to everyone inside the house of how great his hospitality is and addition to his weeaboo hipster cultural exchange as well of his obnoxious fetish. Showing his pointy ass anime shades, explaining of how culturally correct he is about Japan.

So I guess he's done with his unnecessary hijinks to make people really piss off from him-and I wonder what it is that he did which I'm not saying sarcastically. So we're going to talk something very nonsensical here that's pretty much nothing to do what's happening behind me of the mass suffocation.

"So how's the great Washington of the great Bush state Dave?" Cut that crap Bro, I know what state we are in, it's not Washington, and where you told me of John's location was a lie, this is fucking Maryland.

"No, no…we are in South Carolina, what do you think Bro?" Seeing Bro nodded his head in agreement of my truthful statement of what I have said, he has his own personal thoughts on it. In which ignorance is truth.

"Yeah, we are definitely not in fucking Michigan, I mean who the hell lives there? At least we are not in Minnesota to meet up a really fucking edgy Goth girl-like what? Eight years old? Who has a big fucking monster living under her?" About to further discuss of the state of mind we are in which I am not using a goddamn pun here. The girl who seems to be mentally retarded and one of Lynn's sister came running out from the house as she's sprinting towards us in absolute trepidation. If she is mentally challenged, she would probably be wearing a medallion base on two copyrighted games along being arrogant as hell.

"Guys! Someone help! These puppet creatures came out of nowhere and their butts covering everyone's faces!" Is she being serious or faking it because who would stuff someone's face with puppets that I might not saying sarcastically?

"Come on Bro, they really love to shove their faces onto puppet asses. At least push it harder for them." Having a reverse psychology on him which he one hundred percent acknowledge of what I am thinking here. He decides to drop the act before we can bury someone on the ground.

"Sure, whatever you say Dave. By ass, get your ass on the board now because we have our shit early." Wait, I thought you said our stuff arrives in couple of days, how could-…never mind. What do I keep forgetting that he is the goddamn Bro and know something that I don't know.

"Before you ask. I meet up with the drivers and made a friendly introduction to them, their truck got stolen by bunch of robbers-which I wasn't involved in it at all and certainly wasn't a lone robber doing it." Oh I can imagine it right now and deciphered of what you actually meant.

Also, I think Bro is thinking about it as well.


Near the Gas Station of Flip's, a pair of drivers came out from the truck that contains the Strider furniture and equipment. During 7pm with the sun setting down. The two drivers were holding their red slushes and chatting, sitting down on the pavement. Loitering around and doing nothing particular at all.

"So how long are we going to reach the owner's house with his huge pile of junk?" Said one trucker who is sipping his slush as he nonchalantly spoke to his fellow co-worker, where they lazily sat on the pavement as they are taking on their break.

"I don't know, probably few minutes away from here that-who is that in front of us?" As the two drivers spotted someone approaching them, they saw a rather tall person who is wearing a white-collared shirt, a black balaclava covering his entire face including a pointy ass shades and a grey baseball hat. As the stranger approaching them slowly and showing some signs of hostile intent when he is hiding something behind his back.

"Good evening gentlemen, how about you-GIVE ME THE GODDAMN TRUCK!" Pulling out Lil Cal behind where he too wears a ski-mask but the puppet is holding a Glock 19 in his right hand. Although the two drivers torn between as a joke or he actually meant serious business-

*BANG!*

Okay, it wasn't a joke when the puppet pulled the trigger up in the air and the drivers went down on the ground shitting their pants.

"What in the flippin heck was that-oh crap…well never mind." When the owner heard the gunshot outside of his gas station, he saw a puppet holding a gun and two guys down to the ground with their asses up in the air in absolute trepidation. Knowing too well of what he saw, he immediately locked the door and dialed 911 as Flip duck for cover.

But it was too late to call the cops as the robber already hot-wired the truck as the engine came to life. Accidentally putting the shift into reverse, the robber slam the rear of the truck into the front store entrance as the door blasted wide open, demolishing everything around the facility and living out shit loads of a mess scattered around the ground within the rubble.

"You son of a bit-" Before he can finished the last word of witnessing his ruined gas station, the robber changes the shift to drive and step on the gas paddle hard as he speeds off out to the distance.


For sure, that's pretty much of what I'm thinking about and Bro's fucking audacity to attack random innocent truckers for his own shit n' giggles.

Before I can leave and not saying goodbye to John as I'm about engulf into our fugly ass house that Bro bought to get under my skin real goddamn hard. I heard everyone inside the house groaning of being shoved with crap tons of puppet asses and the blonde girl over there showing extreme glee that they all survived from Bro's torment.

"Guys! You are all alive!" This girl suddenly become too goddamn cheerful even though her fucking relatives almost suffocated with goddamn puppets and she just all fucking happy go-lucky that nothing has happened at all. She's definitely going to be a victim of Bro's scheme to mess around with her 'tiny' mind she has there or more euphemistically retarded: slow in the mind.

"Leni, yes we are alive. I mean, who the heck shove lewd freaking puppets right up on our faces-and who the heck is that guy?"


[Lynn]

Acknowledging Leni's well…lack of intelligence of what's actually happening around her, I saw a dude who I saw back at Dave's house where he looks back at us coolly. You know, when I got a better look of him. He looks really sexy hot like Lincoln's sexy English teacher Hugh but really manly along having a chiseled body. Although, there's something…off about this guy that I really shouldn't romanticize him at all and well…you know.

"Oh man, I really want to slap someone's junk right now and open a club near here of this shitty neighborhood-why hello there seemingly mentally challenged minority who might become the victim of the second coming of Chris Chan which I'll prevent the prophecy ever going to happen here where you going to shove a bent duck up your mouth which it will be very horrifying for everyone to watch." That's pretty much describe everything of what I am thinking about him and probably the reason why Dave warn me about his callous yet randomly deviant mindset as he stares at Leni curiously. But I will still challenge him to become a freaking ninja no matter what!

Also, didn't I mention that he said something extremely gay and the prime suspect who might suffocate us of those lewd puppets inside John's house? To clarify what I am feeling here, why the hell he does that to us?!

Looking back at my sisters, they were blushing of how hot this guy is. But I saw through the veil or rather his anime shades that he is not normal. In which it isn't the good kind of not normal and isn't behaving of what a decent human being should do.

As I got the early warning from Dave and put my toes up at high alert as Dave's Bro seems to plot everything 24/7 around us.

"Bah-bah-bah, bah-bah-bah!" As you guessed it, Dave's Bro walks up towards my stun sisters who are in lustful ecstasy because of his extremely handsome appearance just if Hughes came up to us. I am not captured by hot appearance since he's you know…Dave's Bro. But he said something that woke up of their frozen state, forcing them to look at him in the inside.

"So, I see you little kids are into real pedophilia which turns you on ain't it-and I suspect you are cheating aren't you ya' blondie. Somebody quick! Call Chris Hansen so I can drink bleach to avoid dropping the damn soap because of this force pedophilia I'm in without my fucking consent of ripping a four year old china!" As Dave's Bro specially stare at Lori in hostile intent along telling the rest of my sister of their boundaries of what they shouldn't do at all. All of my sisters woke up from their state of ecstasy when he spoke very aggressively yet pragmatically to them. But especially for my sis Lori's case where she was in absolute shock which turns to anger of his outrageous statement of detesting including testing her faithfulness to Bobby.

"What did you said to me you jerk?!" Staring at him ragingly as she immediately forgot about his appearance and confronting with his unpredictable personality of what he really is. As Dave's Bro continue on pressuring Lori's faithfulness in which it got amusing yet slightly depressing.

"Yeah I am a jerkop, I love lolis for no reason, I love to bang unfaithful blonde girls who are easy to get their damn china nether wet-hell no I'm not going to rip your STD vagina; do you kids think I'm that low to fuck a girl who is waaaay under my age and getting raped by all of you? Jesus Christ, what do you think I am? The desperate Elliot Rodger who is the supreme gentlemen? Thinking about him, I think I'm getting arouse for that kid." Who the hell is Elliot Rodger?


[Dave]

"Call Chris Hansen goddamn it as this will get shit loads of ratings from this! My consent is being violated by unwanted lolis upon my presence and I need to go to prison so my pedosexual thoughts be replace with a lot of man banging in the showers!" Yet again, Bro is being a humongous douche and sarcastically yelling out in the neighborhood where he woke up bunch of neighbors nearby.

So it's best to defuse this right now before someone actually calls the five-0 here when he is ironically being an overactive dick. When I mentioned the overactive word for some retarded reason, I was thinking about beans and I don't know why I feel so ashamed for existing from simply saying that?

"Hey Bro, keep yelling. I think we're attracting attention here and aggravating this underage gap we are in." Looking back at the sisters who are now in full realization of whose Bro and not goggling on Bro's shitty ass appearance any longer to do him complimenting them. I see anger sipping into those girls and I don't know why they are angry at him when he went full-on gay?

As Bro is being a massive douche to them, I heard his rocket board thing came to life as Bro turns his head to me impatiently. So satisfy his complex fucking mind he has, I complied to his ass before the authorities show up before Bro turn into a massive thorn to everyone. To give you a genuine hint, Bro isn't a people type to hang around with and I'm kind of worried for Lynn's own safety of challenging Bro directly, giving a bad case of ownage one-sided beat down.

Getting on the board like a bitch. Bro kicked the board up as the floating piece of crap begins to hover in mid-air as we're lifted up onto the Earth's atmosphere where he heads toward our purchased home of living in this terrible ass suburb with many of its magical wonders for me to suffer from. But hey, at least I can hang out with John and possibly be friends with Lynn's sisters. Maybe it's a good thing I guess? Just pray it doesn't backfire of what've said.

Floating my ass up in the air and seeing everything at the bottom is a fucking ant to my eyes up here. I saw our house and…the two truckers unloading the furniture which means Bro didn't rob them at all of the hypothetical thought I previously made up.

As Bro glided his board down and gently landed on the front yard grass of our new god awful house. Two guys finished unloading the boxes and waving at Bro in sayonara as they're done here where they got on of their truck.

Stepping out from the board and seeing our stuff are inside that damn house. I might as well look inside of what the hell this house looks like since I never walk inside of this boring yet big ass home.

Casually strolling to the door and ignoring Bro behind me doing his own thing that I don't dare to acknowledge what he's even doing. Turning the gold knob, I saw everything is dark until I turn on the light switch besides the door.

Of what've I saw inside…nothing. Just boxes lying around inside this purely white slick living room on the glossed up wooden planks. So it's time to unpack our shit and going through Bro's psychological sessions again. Continue walking, I saw the marbled kitchen which is approximately close to the wide living room as it contain of those pristine white kitchen tiles on the floor.

Also did I mention about the wall in front of me? The wall is full on fucking glass that I can stare at the trimmed ass backyard with a wide blue triangle pool that's surrounded by refined grey cobblestone. Atop of the white-grey ceiling are those jagged, asymmetrical squares and staring at the deformed, curved grey hanging lights. Wondering of why the hell people make those things?

Going pass the kitchen and stop staring of my upper class privilege backyard. I saw a long spiral of white marbled stairs going upwards which leads to the upper floor room of this degenerate house where rich people can jerk off to of how fancy this is. So far of what I'm looking at of what Bro bought. It is equivalent of those shitty modernist abstract style houses which those upper-middle classes jacking off to and my suspicion is almost confirmed of what Bro is up to. In a side reference, this is one of those modernist houses that Rose lives by and I don't know why the hell she likes them? It's really fucking tasteless and way too orderly for me to stomach.

Looking at multi-color abstract paintings that makes my eyes bleed because they are commission to be specifically drawn of those god damn wiener nose smuppets. Now I understand what Bro is up to of buying this pretentious middle class ass house he got.

To make it more ironic, the front appearance of our home looks like one of those generic built old-school houses around this neighborhood where I can easily tolerate to stare at them. But behind, the sides and inside of the house…oh dear fucking god, it's a nightmare to me as its way to preppy to think of while recalling a particular Harry Potter Fanfic that goes by Immortal that involves fighting preps.

It's like we're privilege hipsters jerking off to expensive garbage they bought and ironically thinking of how disgusting this place is-oh wait again where my thoughts stop me of finishing the self-irony I just think up including almost having a self-breakdown over this.

As my mind finished angrily spewing out of what I'm thinking here. I heard loud mechanical stomping behind me and hearing those robo buzzing noises when something move. Did Bro buy some Toys R' us plastic trash to fuck with me-WHAT THE FUCK?!

It wasn't some lego bricks he brought. He actually brought real-life mechanical, human equivalent size robots that resemble to Bro's overactive imagination of Sawtooth and Squarewave that's based on goddamn sound frequency math he always obsessed over. In which he perfectly titled his imaginary friends Anbroids. Where one is short, has squarewave teeth, and wearing a nighties hat that's overly bright red n' blue. Besides it, a tall robot who is covered in a black coat, has jagged teeth, wearing bright ass blue n' red sneakers including a hat which is being covered by its black hoodie.

But where the hell he got them from of what I'm asking?!

"I got these robots from Toys R' us Dave. Isn't it great that I brought you some toys that are selling these guys?" Oh yes I'm fucking proud that you brought them here and I'm sure the FBI aren't bothered of this as well of searching deep within our buttholes. What couldn't go wrong?


[Lori Loud]

That white haired jerk! Who the heck that guy thinks of himself? Testing my faithfulness to Bobby and thinking we're all sluts?! Nevertheless, that asshole left by his fire-y colored rocket board thing he rides on and I'm really glad he's gone from my sight as I can't bare that asshole, negatively commenting about us which I want to kick him in the nuts so hard!

Driving my car to pick up Lisa while my siblings are behind me, they are still talking about those dicks!

"What a complete jerk! No wonder why the new kid neighbor acts like that to me." Hearing Lola yelling out in frustration, I agree on her part as he insensitively blurts out of my social networking habits.

"Oh come on Lola. I like our new neighbor Dave as he looks really cool!" Hearing Lana liking him which I can't comprehend of why she likes Dave. But I heard Luna and Luan having the same fondness of those assholes called the Striders.

"You are being a bit too harsh on him Lola, Dave seems to be a pretty cool kid to me so far and I might jam with him combining electronica music that might sync with rock, although I don't like his Bro though. In my opinion, he is an asshole."

"Yeah! Dave is sure an ICE guy! Get it, get it because he's cool and he hangs out with my old buddy Egbert!" Arghh! When are we going to stop talking about them? It's giving me a headache here!


[Lynn]

Wondering of what's inside the Strider's household since everything was dark inside there when their front door suddenly opens up in front of me when I was about to kick Dave's spine. But oh well, if I have time to visit his house. I will challenge his bro to the death in order for me to learn on how the heck they move so fast and get a good look of what their home looks like!

If Dave is into sports, we might play some good ol' football and recruit him on our important game! Backing up for Lincoln yet again since my lil' bro pussied out on the team as they kick the living shit out of him in full on toxicity.

Felt the car stop of its tracks. Of what I saw is a humongous dome convention center where they usual host basketball games or those weird Anime slash Comic conventions where one time I saw Lucy went into one after Lincoln entered.

Never mind of what Lucy is interested into, I saw the front entrance glass windows are shattered all over on the floor and saw bunch of bruised up nerds waddling out from there like someone just beat them up recently. I wonder who do that to them?

They look like they had a really bad time over there and I saw Lisa has one of her glasses lens cracked, her hair scuffled up, her clothing are all loose, saw some cuts or bruised on her face. Lisa looks like a complete train wreck and she looks really, really, REALLY pissed off right now.

"Please open the automobile door. I'm not in a positive mood here!" Sheesh, what happened over there that made her really bite?

Opening the door for Lisa as she hopped in; I want to ask my genius sister of what exactly happened.

"Um Lisa…what exactly happened over there that really mess you up?" Implying her ruff appearance and someone just recently mugged her. Lisa explains to us of what happen to her and the nerds she's always being surrounded by.

"Well some maniac who is wearing impractical polarized optic eastern Asian lenses on his eyes and holding a disturbingly uncanny puppet on his hands. Demanding the robotic blueprints that I apparently 'stolen' from him." Impractical what now you said?"

"Impractical what?" Wanting to know what the heck she just said with her fancy language that I have no idea. She just pinched the bridge of her nose of my pure obliviousness of what she's talking about.

"He's wearing pointy anime shades if he's a fan boy of Gurren Lagann that I watch-I mean, heard off of lately." Wearing pointy shades and has a really creepy ass puppet? That sounds a lot like Dave's Bro-

Oh no…


[Dave]

"YOU GOTTA RAP!"

"TO GOTTA SLEEP!"

"YOU NO SLEEP!"

"YA'LL FAIL DOG ON THE TEST!"

Hearing this god forbid rap-bot called squarewave insufferably shouting at me in free-verse rhymes for me to go do sleep right damn now while we're fucking unpacking our things of our new freaking home! Giving me a huge headache right here, right now and I'm not hesitant on decapitating this piece of shit bot that Bro built from scratch!

"Squarewave is right Dave! You know you're going to a brand spanking school and you're going to wake up tired of your new day of school! What's wrong with you? You know you have a bed to sleep on right?" Oh! My Bro is being the ironic joker right here and we didn't set up any bed just yet. But who cares if there's a bed upstairs as I'm currently busy of not attacking this goddamn short, robot that's right up on my face!

"PEOPLE WILL HUMP YOU FOR BEING TIRED!"

"PEOPLE WILL GET TIRED OF HUMPING AS THEY ARE NOT PRODUCTIVE!"

"PEOPLE WILL SPREAD HERPES AS THEY ARE TIRED TO LEARN SEX-ED OF NOT TO HUMP ON RANDOM!"

"TIRED IS ALSO RHYMES WITH RETARDED!"

Dear God please! Just shut up already!


Well looks like this chapter is done and giving possible hostility with the Loud House family to do Dave's Bro being a smug mastermind douche he is. The next chapter will be a middle school chapter which will be filled with Middle SChool Drama clichés and oh boy it will be hell n' fun to write it.

Also watching the Snap-Chat credits makes me obnoxiously mad for some reason?