When Finn woke the next morning his entire body ached. He felt stiff as a board in spite of the fine feather bed underneath him. He sat up, and the figure next to him stirred.

"Oh, is it morning?" Salema said. She stretched lazily and drew the covers up over her bare chest.

"I reckon," Finn replied. He wasn't sure himself. The curtains in Salema's chamber were heavy, but he could see daylight peeking around the edges.

"And how are you this morning?" she said, reaching for him. "Remarkable. You've healed, and not even a bandage!"

She ran her hand over his scarred shoulder in wonder. Finn drew a breath and didn't reply. Salema sat up and wrapped her arm around him.

"You must have managed to sneak some potions from somewhere. You don't quite seem like a priest to me."

She laughed lightly but Finn didn't share her humour.

"Don't know. Guess I'm just a fast healer," he said.

He shrugged and her arm slid down. Salema laid back down and sighed.

"Not really one for affection, are you? That's all right, I don't mind. I'm really only after the business, myself."

"This part of what I owe, then?" Finn asked.

He looked at her, and the woman's eyebrow raised.

"Oh, no. I should think less of myself if I ever had to hire a man! No, this was just a bonus."

Her hand slid down the blankets, revealing his hips. Finn grabbed it away before she got too far.

"Don't," he said, harshly.

"You didn't seem to mind my touch last night," she said, her eyes narrowing. "Or have you suddenly grown modest?"

"I'm just not very interested right now," he said.

"And they say women are fickle!" Salema declared. "I gather you're one of those moody types. As you wish, then. I know your kind; it won't be long till you're randy again. Though maybe I'll be available, and maybe I won't. You're not the only bit of meat in this place, you know."

She slipped out of bed and strode over to her wardrobe, picking out clean clothes and sliding them over her bare frame. Finn watched her dress but his eyes drifted shut, remembering the night before.

Salema came to him after the fight, offered him a bath…. But no water could cool that heat inside of him. Madness, frustration, begging for any kind of release. He found it, all right. But somehow he felt far worse than he had last night. Her smile, her breasts, her thighs…they were all wrong. Something inside of him lay broken, smashed, and he didn't know how to pick it up.

"If we're done, I have to get to work," Salema said, turning at last to him. "Are you sure you're feeling all right? You don't look well at all."

"I'm fine," Finn said shortly.

"Good. I would hate for you to be sick on my bed. Poor thing. You do feel quite hot."

She ran a hand over his brow, and Finn shut his eyes. Salema sighed.

"I suppose you are a mortal man, after all. After last night I have to wonder."

Finn looked at her, but Salema only chuckled.

"I was referring to your performance in the pit, thank you! But your other work was…satisfactory. Only just. Here, take a few coins and go cheer yourself up. Get some new clothes! Those rags you wear make you look like you've been through a war. Perhaps I will see you at the gaming tables tonight. Who knows, I might even let you win this time…"

She pressed a small sack in his hand, and leaned in for a kiss. Finn kissed her back, but it was brief. She winked at him and headed out the door, doing up her long curls as she went.

...

If he thought Salema wouldn't come back, Finn could quite happily have stayed in that room forever. But there was no escaping the outside world. Salema had a maid make some attempt at cleaning his clothes, though they were still in a bad state. He dressed and tried to find his way out of the private rooms, back to the tavern.

The big common room was quiet in the morning, except for a few snores of the revellers who hadn't made it to bed. A young maid was working the bar and Finn used Salema's coin to buy an ale. The girl was pretty and she smiled at him, but the pain of it made him look away. He took his ale and sat in the darkest corner he could find.

There was another name he remembered. Another smile. He could remember her, drifting…so far away. So far, that he began to wonder if he'd imagined it all. Maybe she was only a dream, that woman. But Salema's flesh had brought back the reality of it. Finn sat and he remembered, and his hands began to shake.

Anna.

One word left his mouth in a sob of pain. That name. Her name. He remembered her. She was his wife. He was sure of it. Why did he call her his wife, this woman? He couldn't remember getting married. But his wife she was, just as the sun was the sun, or the moon the moon. He loved her. But she was…gone. Like sand drifting through his hands the memories eroded. He could see her face for one moment, then she was gone again.

A harsh voice woke him from his dream. Finn looked up, to see the very real form of Jaheira hurrying across the common room towards him.

"Finn! Where in Silvanus' name have you been? They said Lehtinan's guards took you away. I've been trying to find out what happened all night… Even Bernard claimed not to know! I thought for certain you were dead!"

She seemed exhausted, and her eyes betrayed a lack of sleep. She ran her hands over her head and collapsed down into a chair next to him.

"Sorry," Finn replied. "It's been a…long night."

It was Jaheira's turn to look shattered. He watched in surprise as she grasped at her temples, looking like she was trying to force something out of her head. She opened her eyes and spoke very deliberately.

"Finn… I do not want you to, ever, pull a stunt like this again. Do you understand me?"

Whatever else it was, it wasn't a stunt. But Finn didn't feel like arguing the point.

"No worries. I'm sorry," he repeated.

Jaheira drew in a sharp breath, and Finn thought her eyes looked red.

"Very well," she replied. "At least now I can put off storming Lehtinan's office. Ah…there is Yoshimo. That man does appear at the most opportune moments."

There was sarcasm in her voice, but she waved him over. He hurried up to the table and looked at Finn in obvious relief.

"Here is our wayward friend! I would say he does not look much the worse for wear, but I was raised to be truthful," he said, trying to laugh.

"Indeed. Finn, I shall not even ask where you were…I do not think I could deal with an explanation just now. But since you are alive and well, I am going to bed. I trust Yoshimo can keep you out of trouble for a few hours at least?"

"I shall do my best," he vowed.

Jaheira snorted, but she rose and went back to her chamber. Yoshimo let out a long breath and looked at Finn.

"Hm. I see bruises, and I can smell a lady's perfume. I am not wrong in thinking you experienced both love and hate last night?"

"At the same time," Finn said flatly.

Yoshimo laughed, and seemed to relax considerably.

"Then you are a remarkably lucky man! Lehtinan is not usually gentle with debtors at his tables. I am sorry to have abandoned you. I found Minsc, but he was…engaged."

"You didn't tell Jaheira, did you?" Finn remarked.

"No, I would not offend that good lady's sensibilities, especially when she is in so foul a mood. It is as much as a man's life is worth! And I think perhaps our good ranger is in love."

Finn managed to laugh a little, and took a drink of ale. He felt himself starting to relax. Last night was over. He'd paid Lehtinan a hundred times over in that bloody pit of his. The woman concerned him more. But she would probably forget about him fast, her eyes on the next bit of meat to enter the pit. And Anna was still just a dream. Wherever she was, she wasn't there.

...

Finn couldn't seem to care much about people who weren't in his sight. It was another world, images, fantasies. Jaheira told him that girl the mage-enforcers took away was his sister. Her name was Imoen, but Finn didn't really know her. He could remember more, now… She was in that wizard's lair with them. And he had his own version of a pit.

"I say, my friend, you look in as much need of fresh air as any man," Yoshimo suddenly said. The bounty hunter had a way of ignoring Finn's silences. "Shall we go for a walk?"

"A walk, here?" Finn replied.

"Yes, a walk! Who knows what we might find."

Finn didn't much feel up to it, but maybe Yoshimo was right. Another day of sitting around in the Copper Coronet would drive anyone to madness. He downed his ale and followed the man out of the door.

The sun was bright and it hurt Finn's eyes. Up above was a piercing blue sky, dotted with a few small white clouds that drifted in from the sea. The air was pleasantly warm, but likely to turn hot later. But they quickly left the sunlight behind to wander through the narrow streets of the slums.

Finn hadn't seen much of Athkatla since he awoke to find himself there, and the slums were all he knew. Properly the neighbourhood was called The Meadow, though whether this was meant to be a joke or the memory of some far-off rural past was anyone's guess.

The immense city was built straddling a river, with the finer houses on the high ground rising up on the opposite bank. He could see them up above the shoddy roofs that surrounded them. Here and there a glimpse of a dome, painted stucco with glass glinting in a rainbow of colour; distant as a fairyland.

But here little colour was to be seen. Most of the houses were three or four stories high, families layered on top of one another in rooms that were rented by men who lived elsewhere. It was hard to tell where one building ended and another began; they seemed melted together like bits from spent candles.

A river of sludge ran down the middle of the street, guided by ancient cobblestones. It seemed to be the Council's one investment in that area. The worst homes were at ground level, or even worse, in the cellar. Only the most desperate folk lived there, and they usually didn't live for very long.

But for all that the streets were bustling. Everyone seemed to be in a rush to get somewhere. Only one old man sat still, and even he tapped his stick hard against the stones, as if he were directing traffic. Never mind that they had nowhere to go; in this city, everyone was moving.

Finn grew tired of it rather quickly, but he noticed that Yoshimo seemed to be directing them to a particular place. It didn't take him long to figure out where it was. A narrow house, unobtrusive save for the red lantern that hung outside the door. Finn groaned to himself as Yoshimo led them inside.

"Starting to get familiar with this place," Finn muttered.

He didn't like that brothel. It made no airs at all about its purpose. Yoshimo told him tales of festhalls that would suit a king, but this place wasn't one of them. It smelled of mould, damp…scented oils and sweat. And those were the least objectionable smells.

"Come now, my friend," Yoshimo began. "Let us see if we can find…ah, Madame Lavinda. You look beautiful as always, if I may say so!"

"You may say so, but it won't get you a discount," said the woman who entered the room. She was well past her prime, and seemed to be of an age when most women were tending to grandchildren. But she tended to her shop the same as any merchant.

"That is most disappointing," Yoshimo replied diplomatically. "But we are actually here in search of our friend this day. Is he here?"

He didn't even need to mention the name. Madame Lavinda nodded her head and sighed.

"He's here, the daft thing. With him taking over Poppy's time I might have to start charging by the day. Though he did fix the privy door that's been broke for ages. Might think of putting him to work here. But if I hired anyone else on, Felvin might get nervous. He might be forced into doing some work for a change, the lazy sod."

She helped herself to a drink from a small table and continued muttering to herself.

"Felvin!" she screeched suddenly. A middle-aged man with a paunch appeared from the back and she continued to berate him.

"Go get the ox, you useless lout. And don't forget to tell the wine merchant that we don't take any substitutions. I don't care what kind of a story he told you, this plonk is dreadful!"

"Alright, Ma," the man droned, clearly used to a lifetime of her pleasantries. He vanished up the stairs and the woman shook her head.

"Ah, he's just like his father. At least I think he is. You boys can sit down, but don't touch the drink. It's for courtesy of paying customers only. Here, might as well give this to you, since I don't think that big fellow can read. It's got a figure on it. I want that in gold by the end of the day. If not, I'll be sending a few of my friends around to the Copper Coronet tomorrow."

Yoshimo nodded graciously, but Finn couldn't summon a reply. He looked at the piece of parchment the woman handed him and grimaced. At last the stairs began to groan under a heavy weight, and the towering form of Minsc appeared.

...

"My friends!" he shouted in welcome. "It is good to see you. Finn has found us work as mercenaries, yes? Boo is itching for battle! Is that not right, Boo? Eh, Boo is not here! Minsc forgets that Poppy has him in her room. She loves Boo even more than Minsc! She feeds him biscuits all day long."

"Must be serious, then, to keep a man from his hamster," Finn remarked, and Yoshimo did an admirable job of suppressing a laugh.

"Serious! No, Poppy is not serious! So full of laughter is she. Minsc is always making her laugh!"

"I'm sure you are," Finn replied, though he felt himself growing serious. "Minsc…I think we may need to have a little chat."

"Oh? We may talk in Poppy's chamber, then. Come! She was just telling Minsc the most remarkable tale of a tortoise and a hare."

"Ah…perhaps, if our good ranger does not object, then Yoshimo may fetch his brave hamster, while Finn speaks with him?" the man offered.

"Oh, very well," Minsc replied. "But I do want to hear Poppy finish her tale!"

"Well, about that…" Finn began. He watched in envy as Yoshimo quickly mounted the stairs. "Maybe we can…sit?"

The stern woman had left them alone, and there didn't seem to be anyone else to hear. Minsc looked more confused than usual, and dutifully took a seat in the one chair that looked capable of supporting his weight. It creaked and groaned, and Finn came to sit next to him.

"What is it, friend?" Minsc said, in as much of a whisper as he could manage. "Is there intrigue afoot? Boo loves intrigue!"

"I wouldn't go that far…" Finn said. "It's just about…Poppy."

"Ah, she is a maiden most fair, is she not?" Minsc proclaimed. "Her hair shines like copper! Her smile could light up the darkest of nights! And to think, if Minsc and Boo had not been out walking that eve, we might never have met!"

"Yeah…" Finn said. "That's nice. But I don't think you understand…"

"A helpless maiden, so lost and alone!" Minsc continued, totally ignoring him. "She asked Minsc to walk her home! What dangers might there have been in the night…"

"Minsc!" Finn exclaimed, hoping to gain the man's attention. "You do understand…what she is, right?"

"A maiden most fair?" Minsc replied, looking puzzled.

Finn drew a deep breath. "Aye… But tell me, what did you and Poppy do after you walked her home?"

"Ah, ha ha!" the man laughed, wagging a finger in Finn's direction. "Minsc will not share his tales of love! These mighty muscles excite the maidens, there can be no doubt!"

Finn groaned and rubbed his forehead. Now he knew how it felt when elders needed to explain the facts of life to a budding youth. And although Minsc was clearly familiar with the basic facts, certain details seemed to elude him.

"Right…well you do understand that some ladies get paid, don't you? Paid to…admire your muscles."

"Paid? That is a job any woman would do for free! And Minsc charges nothing, of course."

The big man laughed again, clearly entertained with the conversation. But Finn felt like tearing his hair out.

"Minsc…she's a working girl, all right? Didn't she ask you for money?"

"Money? Yes, she did say she needed coin. I gave it to her, of course. Minsc is most generous! I have given you much gold, do you not recall?"

Finn didn't, and he desperately hoped it wasn't for the same reasons as Poppy.

"Look…the point is, Poppy wants gold every time she admires you. And I reckon there's been a lot of admiration going on. Madame Lavinda just gave me a bill. A big one. We're broke enough as it is… I'm sorry, but, I don't think you can see Poppy anymore."

Minsc's face fell faster than a child's who was told there was no more cake left in the world.

"But, I… Minsc does not understand! Why would Poppy…she is here!"

Finn looked up to see a spry young woman tripping down the stairs. She wore a tight-fitting gown that looked slightly askew, and her brassy dyed hair was in tangles.

"Oh, Minsc…this fellow wanted Boo! Don't tell me you're leaving already?"

She went and plopped herself on his lap, then opened her hands. A small brown blur hurried from her grasp and crawled into the safety of Minsc's leather pouch.

"Ah, Poppy, forgive me. Minsc must sometimes see to his friends! But Finn has just told me a strange tale. You owe Madame Lavinda money, and so Minsc can no longer visit you?"

"What? Oh, just ignore her, poppet," she replied, giving his mouth a little twist. "You're worth more than your weight in gold, yes you are!"

She giggled and Minsc laughed. Finn rose to his feet.

"Just the same…I think we better go. Now."

Poppy gave him an exasperated look.

"He's fine here, all right? Lavinda will call off her dogs. Don't make him leave, we all love him!"

"Maybe another time. Minsc, say goodbye?" Finn said shortly.

The absurdity of the situation wasn't lost on him. And even though Lavinda didn't likely have the same resources as Lehtinan, Finn wasn't inclined to let another debt hang over their heads. With Yoshimo's help he managed to free Minsc from the woman's tangles and the three men headed back out into the street.

...

"Farewell, sweet Poppy!" Minsc cried, waving to the woman from the window. "We shall return, very soon!"

"I don't think so," Finn said bluntly.

He strode away quickly, his anger beginning to get the better of him. He wasn't really angry that the big fool had fallen in love with a prostitute; if he wanted to get the clap, it was his own business. It was the coin. Everything needed coin. In the City of Coin, even love didn't come for free.

"Maybe we should head back to the Coronet," Finn remarked. "You never know…there might be a job."

He didn't know why he was saying that. No one was going to hire them. He knew Minsc didn't have any money. Yoshimo didn't have any money. Finn sure as hells didn't have any money. Jaheira had money, but Finn could hardly ask her to pay off Minsc's brothel bill. She'd crack in two.

"Yes, good work! That is what we need, my friends," Minsc replied, still relentlessly chipper in spite of everything. "A chance to do battle with evil would bring even greater joy to my heart! What tales we would have to tell Poppy, eh, Boo?"

"Can you knock any sense into this fellow, Yoshimo?" Finn said, watching as the ranger strode on ahead.

"Not I," the man sighed. "There is no greater fool than a fool in love. And considering the state of his mind before…hmm, I need to check my sums."

Finn laughed a little. Minsc seemed like a good man, but the vacant space between his ears could house an entire village. Sometimes Finn envied him that fool's bliss.

"Do you think you could keep Minsc away from Lavinda's for a while?" Finn said to him in confidence.

"With a monumental effort," Yoshimo replied. "I am forever the nursemaid, it seems. But I think you have some particular reason for asking?"

"Maybe. Just…do it, alright?"

Yoshimo agreed. They entered the Copper Coronet, but thankfully Jaheira wasn't around. Finn left Minsc and Yoshimo and headed towards the private part of the tavern.

...

Lehtinan's guards stopped him, but Finn said the right things. A guard led him through the halls until they reached an office. He knocked on the door, and its occupant agreed to let Finn enter. The guard left, and Finn found himself with Salema again.

"Well! This certainly brightens up a dull afternoon," she said.

She set her quill back in the inkwell and rose up from the ledger she was studying. Salema stretched out her arms, and Finn submitted to an embrace.

"I didn't think to see you back so soon," she remarked. "But I guess I just have that allure."

"Actually, I'm looking for a job," Finn replied.

"So much for vanity," she sighed. "And what sort of a job were you after?"

"That…from last night," he said, hesitating. "Is it…open?"

"Well…unless you're being very coy, I assume you're talking about the arena," Salema said with a wry smile. "Don't tell me Finn the Ravager is looking for another round?"

"Would I get paid?" he asked.

"If you live," she told him.

"Then I'll do it."

"Well. Lehtinan will be pleased," she said, looking at him in a strange way. "Though I'm just a bit…surprised."

"And why's that?" Finn coughed.

"I don't know," she replied. Salema began walking around him, looking at him appraisingly. "You're certainly a fighter. No doubt about that. I couldn't believe Lehtinan had you matched against a troll on your first night. Trial by ordeal, I suppose. I've heard something about you being a mercenary. But you don't want to fight. Or didn't, at least. You're a puzzle, Ravager."

"Why do you call me that?" he asked.

"Oh, all the fighters get silly nicknames," Salema said. "Helps the punters to remember them. I think our last Ravager was done in by a phase spider. But we don't stock those anymore…killing off the spectators is bad for business."

"Well. How much will I get paid? I don't want this to be permanent. But I need to pay off a bill."

"Another one?" Salema chuckled. "Perhaps I should teach you the fine art of budgeting!"

"It's not for me. For a friend," Finn said.

"If you say so," she said with a shrug. "But how much do you need?"

Finn told her, and the woman laughed.

"Oh, I think we can manage that, with plenty to spare. If you really think you're up to it, of course."

"I guess I'll have to be," he said.

Salema smiled at him and drew herself up onto her desk. It was going to be another long night.

...

Some hours later Finn once again found himself in the pit. And this time he really was ready. He didn't care what came out of those doors; he had to kill it. It was surprisingly easy, when one had a will. The death cries of the animals meant little to him. Finn could hear the crowd cheering and chanting his name. He ignored them.

The door opened on the final round. He had braced himself for another troll, but a different kind of revulsion shambled out of the door. A great stinking beast with tentacles and stalks for eyes. An otyugh. Finn knew what it was. He'd seen one before. He couldn't remember where or when, but somehow he knew how to fight it. He avoided the flailing tentacles, first slashing away at the monster's eyes to blind it. From there it was easy. Just duck, be careful. Slash when you had a chance. It didn't take long, and it was dead.

Finn sheathed his sword and wiped the sweat off his brow. The crowd was in rapture. He looked up at last, seeing those fine lords and ladies applauding the gore-covered peasant in the pit below them. He waved to them, though he didn't know why. It was like trying to shoo away a swarm of flies. But the gesture delighted them even more. The exit door slid open, and Finn turned his back and left.

"Well. I am impressed. And I am not shy in saying so," Lehtinan said.

He and Salema stood by as Finn tried to wash himself clean in the water barrel. He dunked his head fully under the water, enjoying for one moment the feeling of suspended blackness. But he drew himself out again, streaming with wet and cold.

"I'm glad," Finn sputtered, reaching for the towel. "When do I get paid?"

"Oh, he is most charmingly succinct, isn't he?" Lehtinan remarked. "I can see why you find him appealing, good Salema. You will be paid, of course. But I think we would like to see more of you. Not many fighters survive a second night, you know."

"Too bad for them," Finn remarked. "But I'm not interested. I just needed to get paid tonight."

"Really? Hurm. And here Bernard has told me you put your name on our mercenary list. Why sit around and wait for a job, when one is open to you? And you won't even need to leave Athkatla."

"Because I don't want to fight animals for a living, like some glorified rat catcher," Finn shot back. "It's daft. I'm not doing it."

Lehtinan's face was unappealing at the best of times, but a positively ugly look came over it.

"Well. I think you have proven yourself… We don't just do animal fights, you understand," he said, confidentially. "I did say muscle against muscle, did I not? We also offer more specialised entertainments. You say you do not want to fight animals…but would you be willing to fight a man?"

A feeling of coldness filled Finn's stomach. He couldn't tell if it was fear, or something else.

"Fight a man?" he replied. "You mean…"

"To the death. Quite naturally," Lehtinan said.

"Is that legal?" Finn asked.

"Of course it isn't. But my place is not for those who work by the rule of law. Don't concern yourself about the guards; I have a good friend on the Council of Six. He even attends some nights! Of course I cannot tell you his name. That truly would be dangerous to your health."

The man winked at him and Finn grew more uncomfortable.

"I'll…think about it," he said.

"Excellent! I am certain Salema will convince you. You have our warrior's pay, do you not?"

"I'm afraid I left it in my chamber, Master Lehtinan," the woman remarked.

"Oh, dear! You are quite simply a predator," the man laughed. "Everyone needs a hobby, I suppose. Well. I shall leave you two for now. Do think about my offer, boy. Good evening…"

The man went away laughing. Finn met Salema's gaze, then his eyes turned to the floor.

"I just want to get paid, all right?" he said to her.

"Hmm? Well, then, you can come to my chamber," she said, sucking on her tongue.

...

Finn didn't have a lot of choice. He followed her back out of the pits, to the comfortable part of the Coronet where she had rooms. A fire was burning in the hearth, and a bath stood ready. Finn stopped at the door.

"Aren't you even going to come in?" Salema called.

"No. I just want my money."

"You really do have a way of making a girl feel desirable, don't you?" she said. "Don't tell me you have someone else waiting for you."

Finn started at her remark, but he shook his head.

"Nobody's waiting for me. But I'm not looking for…this. It's nothing to do with you. I did a job, and I want to get paid. That's all."

Salema idly ran a hand through the bath water, then tossed her head.

"Well. I can certainly understand your desire for gold. But I never knew a man who so quickly turned down any fringe benefits. Don't you like me?"

"What's like got to do with it?" Finn said, surprised. "I told you, it's nothing to do with you. Why do you care? You could have any man you wanted in this place. Or does Lehtinan pay you a bonus if you rope in fighters for the pit?"

"Lehtinan pays me well enough anyway," Salema said coolly. "And I'm no courtesan. All right, I admit it…I have a taste for men who can handle a sword. No flaccid and puffy merchants for me, thank you. But that is neither here nor there. I'm just used to getting a response. You were desperate before, and now you don't want to know. It is insulting, really."

"I'm not trying to insult you," Finn told her. "You're nice looking. But you know that, you've got a mirror. I'm just not looking for…love."

"I hope that is a euphemism," Salema barked. "Do you think I'm looking for a marriage proposal? As if I would marry some dog-rough bronze…"

"That's an insult, right? Now who's at it?"

"I call things as they are," she hissed. "But you are…you're worse than Hendak!"

"Who's Hendak?"

"Another one with airs. Don't worry, you'll meet him soon enough. But you aren't going back into the pit, are you? I don't think you've got the bottle! Here, take your gold. Compliments of the house. Take it, and get out of my room!"

She bent over a safe, and pulled out a heavy sack of gold that she attempted to throw at him. It landed with a thud near her feet. She picked it up with a noise of disgust and shoved it into his hands. Salema gave him a glaring look then turned away, pretending to read a book that sat on the table.

Finn drew in a sharp breath; her blue eyes did have a fire in them. He thought for a moment of staying. Minsc took his pleasure, and Yoshimo did too. Why shouldn't he? The gods knew he deserved some. But the memory of kissing soft, golden braids suddenly flashed into his mind, and he stopped.

"Why are you still standing there?" Salema said.

Slowly she turned and looked at him over her shoulder.

"I… I'll do it," he said.

"What?"

"Fight."

"Oh," she replied, and turned back around. "I'll tell Lehtinan, then."

"Salema…" Finn suddenly said.

"What is it?"

"I think I might be married."

"Youwhat?" she exclaimed, looking at him again.

"I think I might be married," he repeated.

"You…think? You think you're married? Oh, just get out!"

She turned and waved him out the door with a cry of exasperation.

Finn took his heavy bag of gold and went back to his own room. Lies were no good, and neither was the truth. Finn was not entirely certain which was which anymore. He fingered the bag of gold and tried to leave his regrets behind him.

...

He had no patience for the common room tonight, and he certainly wasn't going to show his face at the gaming tables. He looked around the chamber, trying to find a safe place to hide his stash of coins. But he wasn't in the room for a few minutes before he heard a knock at the door.

He shared the room with Minsc and Yoshimo, and neither of them would knock. Not likely to be the maid, either; the Copper Coronet had little use for housekeeping. It was a short list as to who was on the other side of that door; one name, and one name only.

"Jaheira," Finn said, opening the door.

"So there you are. You disappeared again. Neither Minsc nor Yoshimo claimed to have any idea where you were," the woman said to him.

"I was just…out, you know. Went for a walk."

She looked him over with those keen green eyes. Finn couldn't remember a lot about his life, but he did know there wasn't a lot of point in trying to pull the wool over those eyes. Accordingly, Jaheira wasn't fooled.

"A walk? There is very little fresh air in a place such as this. And you look…Finn, what has happened to your clothes?"

He looked down at his jerkin and grimaced. He was spattered in blood.

"It's nothing, Jaheira, all right?" he said quickly.

"Did some cutpurse come after you?" she exclaimed. "I have warned you before about wandering around at night…"

"Yeah, that's it," he said quickly. "But they got the worst of it. I'm fine. Just leave me alone, all right?"

The woman drew a sharp breath in between her teeth.

"No, Finn, I will not. We cannot have any…reckless behaviour. We must…"

"Must what?" he interrupted. "We got nothing going on, and you know it. There's no jobs, nothing. I've got to do something. I've got to live."

The last statement was unintentional. Jaheira looked him over in frustration.

"I understand," she said. "I understand how you feel about stagnation. Like a muddy pool of water, filled with leeches… But you must be patient. I am doing my best to resolve this situation, but it is difficult."

"What situation?" he asked.

"The situation with your sister," Jaheira said, looking at him in surprise. "Why, what is it you think I am doing all day? I have been doing everything, grasping at every string… You do not even understand what I mean?"

"I know you said you've been looking into it," Finn replied. He'd heard her complain more than once about the bureaucrats in the Council of Six. She apparently spent half her days waiting around the Government District, hoping in vain that her pleas would be heard. But he knew Jaheira had some more interesting contacts as well. Yoshimo whispered once that she was a Harper, and he gathered it was as good a connection as one could get.

"Looking into it? Finn, this is not some issue with tax, or a mislaid file! Your sister has…will you let me into the room? I do not wish to discuss this in the hall."

"Fine then," he said with a groan. A lecture was not something he needed tonight.

"Imoen has been taken prisoner by the Cowled Wizards," Jaheira stated, still quiet even though they were safely behind a bolted door. "Do I need to repeat this again? The same ones who took away this Irenicus. They are not the easiest people to find. I have had some leads, but…it goes nowhere. And do you care? Do you care at all? I am doing everything by myself. You and Yoshimo do nothing but drink, Minsc is a fool... Silvanus help me…I am so alone"

She let out a pained groan and sat herself on the edge of his bed. Finn didn't really know what to say.

"I care. Of course I care! That wizard…he's the reason I can't remember half my life. The reason I've got these scars. If I could pay him back… I remember Imoen, I do. But I don't…I can't…"

"What?" Jaheira asked, looking up from the floor.

"I can't feel it. It's like…reading the journal of a stranger. I see things, I know what happened…but I don't feel anything. He raped her, did you know that? He made me watch. I don't know why. She cried for me to help her… She was crying and crying… I must have felt something. Anger, hate…but it's not real. Nothing is real."

There was a cracked glass on the wall, all smeared and dusty. Finn stared at his reflection for a moment, but all he saw was a mask. A dark beard covered his face, and straggling bits of still-damp hair hung around his ears. He didn't know who that man was.

He never spoke much of what he endured in that wizard's dungeon. What she endured. There wasn't any point. Jaheira stared at him with wide eyes, then she looked away.

"By the gods, Finn. By all the gods."

Her voice was shaky, and she looked to the floor again to hide her tears. Finn sat down slowly on the bed opposite her.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I don't mean to leave you with…all this. I just don't know what to do. I can't feel it. I can't feel any of it. Don't worry…I'm just as alone as you. Worse, even. I don't even have myself."

"We should not be alone," Jaheira said, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. "Khalid, my Khalid, where are you? We should have friends, but we do not. We have been abandoned."

"By who?" Finn asked.

"Friends…of mine. And of yours, for that matter. But it seems they deliberately close their eyes. No one wishes to challenge the Cowled Wizards."

"Well…there's still Bernard," he remarked.

"Yes, Bernard," Jaheira said, managing to laugh slightly. "May the gods bless him! The seas could boil and the mountains turn to ash, but Bernard would still be there with a tankard. He was a friend of Khalid and I for a long time."

They were both silent for a moment, dwelling on memories.

"Can you tell me about her?" Finn said quietly.

"Imoen?" Jaheira asked.

"No. Anna. That's her name, isn't it? My…"

"Wife. Yes," she said. "Can you not remember her, either?"

"I can. I think so, at least," Finn said, and his own voice started to sound ragged. "Why don't you ever talk about her?"

"She was not in that wizard's clutches, thankfully," Jaheira replied. "I don't know why I never speak of her. I feared, perhaps, that you might try and find her."

"And would that be a bad thing?" he said.

"Of course not. But with you being like…thisand so many unanswered questions in Athkatla…I did not think…"

"Does she even know what happened?" Finn asked.

"No. She lives in Beregost, which is far to the north. She would not come here."

The woman's words trailed away and she drew in a shaking breath. Finn wondered for a moment about her motivations. That man they found butchered on the table was her husband. Khalid. Perhaps she couldn't deal with the fact that his wife was alive, while her husband was dead.

"Finn…will you let me look?" she asked suddenly.

"Don't know what good it will do. It's healed. But suit yourself," he replied.

He sat still while Jaheira began caressing his hair. Her fingers felt smooth; it was a pleasant feeling. But she was looking for something altogether unpleasant. The scars; the hole that wizard had left in his head.

"The bone has closed entirely," she said to herself. "I have never seen such a thing."

The wizard loved his knives. Strange knives. Perfect steel, incredibly sharp. They needed to be to slice a man's skull open like a loaf of bread. He put those knives in his head, and Finn stopped remembering.

He jerked suddenly and let out a pained cry. Jaheira let go of him, startled.

"I am sorry. Did I hurt you?"

"Nono…" Finn rasped.

A blazing flash of memory burned into his brain, hurting his eyes. He was frozen on a table. Not shackled, but incapable of moving. Naked. Cold. The wizard stood next to him, working into his brain with those knives.

"The ancient philosophers spoke of the twelve doors of the soul. Do you know of what I speak?"

"…No…"

"A pity. I had thought that one raised in such an institution of learning might be familiar with the classics. But no matter. We shall explore them together. Perhaps then you will begin to see."

Finn screamed again, louder this time. His cries were real. Jaheira stood up from the bed, frightened.

"What is the matter?" she exclaimed.

Finn wasn't sure himself. His vision cleared, and the wizard faded into the mist.

"Damn this," Jaheira spat. "And damn him! This has gone on for long enough. You grow no better, you only get worse! I will speak with him tonight. He will help us, no matter what he thinks of it!"

Finn could not even ask who she meant. He rolled over into bed and soon fell asleep, dead to the world.