I am Blair Waldorf
I am UES royalty. I have the perfect life. Dating a real Lord with an accent is perfect. James is perfect.
Why does he have to be so boring? Why can he not be exciting, or ironic or keep me constantly on my toes? Why can he not be more like him?
I am Blair Waldorf
I have dreamed about my fairytale romance my whole life. I always believed that my Prince Charming would come and sweep me off my feet. And he would be perfect, everything would be perfect.
I never planned on falling for the villain. And I certainly did not plan on feeling the need to come to his rescue.
I am Blair Waldorf
I scheme and I lie when necessary. And I am good at it.
So why is it that I tell James some stupid excuse for why I have to leave, finding it strange that he can honestly believe what I am saying?
I am Blair Waldorf
I am the Ice Queen. I do not care.
I am not worried about him - that is not the reason I left James. I am not going to go look for him.
I am Blair Waldorf
I do not run after boys, there is no one that would dare have me running after him.
Still I have my driver take me to his house. I might have left, but I am running back to him, worrying about him.
I am Blair Waldorf
I am a lady. A lady is never in a rush; she has people waiting for her on purpose.
I run up the stairs of his summerhouse, calling out for him.
I am Blair Waldorf
I am a true UES bitch. I do not apologize lightly.
But when I find him passed out on the bathroom floor I feel sorry as I slap him across the face to wake him up. And I tell him that I am when he wakes up, looking at me with a puzzled look on his face, stroking his cheek to soothe the pain.
I am Blair Waldorf
I am not some fucking Florence Nightingale.
Still I can not think of anything I want to do more in this second than to take care of him.
I am Blair Waldorf
I do not believe in exercise. I never run and I am definitely not muscular. I am a lady.
But I pull him on his feet, struggling under his weight as I put my arm around his waist. Managing to get him over to the bed without the both of us ending up in a heap on the floor. My breath strained as he sits down on the bed, swaying a little.
I am Blair Waldorf
People say I am cold, manipulative and have a heart made of ice.
But as he pulls me towards him as he sits on the bed, placing his arms around my waist and resting his head on my stomach, mumbling how sorry he is for leaving me. My heart melts inside my chest and I tell him that it is alright, that everything will be fine.
I am Blair Waldorf
I truly believe I do not have a maternal bone in my body. Yes, I have taken care of Serena more times than I can keep track off. But that is out of duty; that is what is to be expected from the best friend.
Yet I take off his blazer, pull his shoes off his feet and gently push him down on the bed. And when he reaches out for my hand - already half asleep - I sit next to him on the bed and hold his hand as he drifts off.
I am Blair Waldorf
…
He is Chuck Bass
...
He will not remember this in the morning.
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