He probably should have taken it more serious when Tsuna warned him.
Maybe he should have listen to Gokudera's yelling.
…Maybe he should've…
Yamamoto laughs. There was no reason to regret now that what's been done had been done. There was no turning back as soon as they went to face Byakuran and the Millefiore. There was no more 'games'. No more childishness. It was life or death. Any second now and he could die. Shot, slashed, or tortured. Yamamoto's laugh turns bitter. Maybe it did matter. You know, regretting it. He won't lie to himself or others in saying he doesn't regret playing this 'game'. He does. The future taught him of how much this 'game' affected his life.
He doesn't like to talk about it much but his old man was the only thing he had left.
His family matters were more complicated then he let on. Just like no one asked about Tsuna's father because they thought it was taboo, no one asked about Yamamoto's mother. He was sincerity thankful for that. He did not like to be reminded of the person that failed to protect. Sometimes he cries thinking about it. Only when he's alone and no one can see him. In his room, in the middle of the night—he is reminded of the times during there stay in the future. Up at night thinking about his father. How he died in this era because he couldn't protect him. Something broke in him badly. Not only did he fail his mother but his father too.
Gokudera never said a word about those restless nights as he lay on the lower bunk.
It was slowly dawning on him how the world works. It wasn't innocent or as lenient as he wanted it. He never wanted to take a life but it turns out he had natural instinct as a hitman. This makes Yamamoto's bitter laugh turn sharper. Was that what he was good for? Taking someone's life? His dream so far out of reach now. A baseball player compared to his ability to kill? He couldn't protect anyone it seems. Not now or in the future. Maybe this was his punishment for his ignorance? Karma was a bitch after all, he would know.
But was it truly.
Did he deserve it?
Yamamoto's sigh echoed throughout the room.
He can still remember it. How Tsuna told him everything. The heartbreaking sadness that filled his face when he said everything wasn't a game. Yamamoto believed him because of the genuine regret that he had in his eyes. The words still wander in his mind,
"Y-Yamamoto… I-I'm sorry," Tsuna choked out, tears pooling in his eyes. Yamamoto heart thumped louder and louder with each one. He was speechless. All of this... wasn't a game anymore ... and he learned it the hard way. "F-F-For everything. T-This was all my fault. I never wanted to d-drag you into this world, b-but I had no choice! I-I had to because e-everything and everyone that was close to me was put at risk! …And I can't do anything…"
His brown eyes continued to stare at the ground where blood began to sink all around. He did this. He killed. Killed. Killed. Killed. Murderer. MURDERER.
Why was there so much blood?
"DON'T LOOK! DON'T LOOK!" Tsuna's disembodied voice is like a beackon in the dark as Yamamoto looked at the world blindly. He barely noticed his boss shaking him, "DON'T!! IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!"
All he could remember was how Gokudera's eyes stared at him--Pity, Hatred, Sympathy and Sadness--before he passed out.
Yamamoto shuddered at the coldest of the room, throwing his covers on him.
He could have laughed at himself, how pitiful he was being. Taking someone's life in order to protect your friend, your boss is an honor, yet here he was grieving over the lost. It was just a namless hitman who was trying to attack them but he reacted to quickly and sloppy to notice he used the wrong edge of the sword until it was too late.
Maybe tomorrow...after nightmares, after more tears he could grin again like he always does.
Because after all, smiles were all he could do.
I DID NOT WANNA MAKE YAMA-CHAN EMO, HE JUST CAME OUT THAT WAY!! Seriously, I didn't want to this is turn all uncharacteristically emo on each character but I'm trying to explore the parts where Amano fails to make note of (expect for Gokudera). I just winged it when I thought of how to protray Yamamoto's angst and I thought about how he would turn out after the game was now wasn't a game. Refering to his TYL!self, who was so awesomely angsty and serious I fell i love~~ I'm disturbed so beware. Once again, inspire by "Innocent" by Fuel but this time also, "Maybe Tomorrow" By Stereophonics.
Next up...! Drumroll please!! ...... Gokudera!! Then some Mukuro because heading to the storyline! Also when you read the summary "shounen-ai" did mean something! It means implied pairings, most likely 8059, 182795, 6918, 6927, 6996 and/or 2786. I threw in some Het. to throw you off, lol.
REVIEW. Please.
