Chapter 3
The Tardis door was open, its light from within glowed welcomingly as the Doctor stood in the main bedroom of the house in the country he had bought a few years back. He hadn't forgotten about the place, just had no need of it often because he loved to travel.
He had kept the place going in his absence, paying a housekeeper to come in once a month to keep the place tidy and basically keep it going. The electricity was working, there was no dust, and all he needed to do was put some sheets on the bed and get the place warm and it would soon feel like home...
It had just started to rain and he went over to the window, pushed the net aside and looked down into a garden of neatly cut lawn framed by roses that had stopped blooming a month ago.
Then he turned his head, looking back to the glow of the Tardis and felt an ache:
That was home, in there, not out here.
This house was a hundred years old and with its light floral walls and velvet drapes and polished wood that gave off the smell of beeswax, the place was full of old world charm. He didn't doubt it would be a fine place to raise a family, but when that word had come to mind over recent years, his thoughts had shifted in the direction of Clara, and he had hoped that one day, perhaps...
No point in wishing now.
He pushed aside thoughts of the past and opened the bedroom door, crossed the hallway and opened up the door of the second largest bedroom.
In here the walls were pale and the colour scheme was blue and white, and although it didn't have the grandeur of the main bedroom with its four poster bed, it would be enough if she ever came to stay.
Yes, this would put a nice distance between him and his child's mother...
He opened up the other doors, one led to a black and white tiled bathroom, another opened up into a room with old wallpaper decorated with rainbows and rocking horses, and when he looked around that room, he smiled.
This would be perfect for the baby. The Tardis also had a nursery, and he could take some of the stuff out of there and move it into the house. That nursery had not been used for a very long time, but the Tardis had kept everything for him, because she had known...
Maybe that was why she had let Ashildr walk in on that fateful day...
Had the Tardis known what would result of their encounter?
Downstairs, the grandfather clock in the hallway chimed three times.
He checked his watch. Then he frowned...It was mid day...
The Doctor went down the stairs, then down the hallway, past a luxurious front room and then a dining room and a study. He reached the corner that turned and led to the kitchen and looked at the face of the clock:
It was keeping good time.
It chimed again, another three times.
He gave a sigh, and guessed there would be little point ringing the agency back, because he had already cancelled the housekeeper, and it seemed a waste of time to ask if she had been taking care of the clock properly...
He reached for the key set in the lock and turned it and opened the casing.
The Doctor stared at the note that was tied to the pendulum, and then he took it out and unfolded it. The paper was yellowed and dusty and the message was written in faded ink:
Seven years.
The Doctor blinked, and the writing faded away.
Then as the clock chimed again making seven chimes, he looked about the house, wondering what was amiss. Then he heard a thump from upstairs, and that thump sounded like the door of his Tardis...
The Doctor ran back up the stairs.
He reached the bedroom, hurried in and stopped, looking to the open door of the Tardis.
The light still glowed from within, and the place seemed still.
"Hello?" he said sharply, thinking for one crazy moment that someone had followed him here, and then he remembered the Tardis wouldn't have allowed that to happen.
Of course the Tardis was empty...
He walked up to the open door way, hesitated and then stepped inside.
The room was filled with the usual soft hum and the console room was empty.
He thought about the message he had found inside the clock.
"Seven years..." he muttered, turning the phrase over and over in his mind as he wondered what it meant, and then he left the console room and went down the corridor, heading for his bedroom, because he needed to shift some of his belongings from the Tardis to the house. The nursery would be the next room to tackle – there was much he could move from there into the house,and he thought on that as he opened up a wardrobe and took out some suits and other clothing.
But he was still thinking on that note inside the clock.
It meant something, even if it had just been a note to remind him when the clock needed servicing again...
Maybe it meant nothing at all.
Or perhaps Kate had been right to worry about him and the fact that he might be struggling. Maybe he was losing it. He knew he felt as if he was totally alone and to him, at least in this lifetime, that was a scary thought.
And he hadn't meant to make that small person with Ashildr, but he loved that child. He loved his daughter even if he disliked her mother...
And he didn't want to do it.
He didn't want to stay around to look after the woman who played a part in Clara's death...
By the time he had finished moving all he needed from the Tardis, the Doctor felt shattered. He felt as if his nerves were in shreds, and he wanted to cry because this situation was not one he had planned for, he had not expected to find himself alone with a new family that had suddenly appeared in his life...
"I don't love her," he said under his breath as he looked out the window to see the rain had stopped and a weak afternoon sun had broken through cloud, "I hate her, Clara. I hate Ashildr because she didn't save you. I'm not sure I can ever stop hating her..."
And no answer came back, because Clara was dead and gone and remembering that made him feel even more alone. Then he turned away from the window, sat down in a comfortable armchair and watched as the newly lit fire burned warm in the fireplace.
He leant back against the chair, gave a sigh and closed his eyes.
The Doctor thought of his baby daughter and that was enough to lift out his sadness. He was a father now, at least he had that wonderful child to raise...
Just as he had slipped into a deep sleep, something tugged him back from it.
The Doctor opened his eyes and sat up, listening as he instantly became alert:
Music was drifting from the kitchen.
The Doctor got up and left the room and went down the hallway, glanced at the clock and noticed it was keeping good time, and then he went into the kitchen, a place with old wooden cupboards that looked like it hadn't been decorated for thirty years. He noticed at least there was a washing machine in here, and there was a room out the back that led outside, and in that room was a tumble dryer. That was useful, babies made for a lot of laundry...
He opened the cupboards and made a mental note to go and get some shopping before they day was out, it was either that or raid the Tardis kitchen.
And still that music was playing.
It was an old song, and he wasn't in the mood for any song right now.
He paused, looking at the radio. It was an old vintage model, with a polished wood casing and a round speaker in the middle with two tuning buttons.
And as he looked at it, he listened to the song, it had been playing since he woke from sleeping and was still playing...There was something about the way it was playing that had made him take notice,and he listened carefully:
'Dearest darling
I had to write to say that I won't be home any more
For something happened to me
While I was driving home and I'm not the same any more...'
The music jumped like a scratched record:
'What can I do
When I can never, never, never go home again?'
It jumped again:
'I was only twenty four hours from Tulsa
Only one day away from your arms...'
The Doctor thought about it.
"The lyrics are in the wrong order," he murmured, and as the song lyrics played again in a loop, he noticed the plug was not connected to the wall. He grabbed the radio, turned it around and saw the back was empty.
The radio was an empty case...
The music fell silent.
He put the radio back, took his sonic screwdriver from his pocket and activated it, detecting a trace of energy in the air, and he followed that trace, back down the hallway and up the stairs once more.
Nothing made sense.
Not even after he had gone back to the Tardis, scanned the ship and then the house and then the surrounding area.
It all came back clean...
The Doctor checked the time and left the Tardis and closed the door, even though he knew no one would get in there - the Tardis was safe, yet he didn't feel alone, even though scans had confirmed nothing was amiss.
He went back down stairs, intending to go shopping to get the kitchen stocked up. Then he paused and looked up the stairway again, expecting to hear something – but now the house was silent.
He still didn't get it.
His first concern had been bringing the baby back here, because it seemed like something strange was going on. But the Tardis scan had revealed nothing more than an echo, a weak and harmless energy field that seemed to run in a loop - originating from the Tardis. But on scanning to find the source, the Tardis could not locate it.
The Doctor wondered if perhaps it was due to a future event – maybe a future visit to this house had happened in another life time that was yet to be, and the two blue boxes had perhaps glanced in the time stream, causing this as an after effect.
Perhaps that was the answer.
But he didn't have time to think about it, because it was getting late in the day, and he had to go shopping because he had a new baby coming home...
By the time morning came around, the Doctor had grabbed a few hours sleep and then woken on the sofa to hear a knock at the door. He hurried to answer it, and as soon as he saw Kate with his daughter in his arms, he smiled as she handed him his baby girl, and as they went through to the front room, for now, his troubles were forgotten.
Kate watched as the Doctor sat on the sofa and cradled his daughter.
"I don't think I've ever seen you look so happy," she said.
The Doctor looked up from the child in his arms.
"Listen Kate,I was wondering...how about I take her up to the nursery and get her off to sleep and then maybe you could stay for a while, we could -"
"I don't think so."
Wow, that had been short and to the point.
"Why not?" he asked her, and she saw disappointment in his eyes.
"I'm not angry with you," Kate told him, "I have no reason to be. What we had was fun and nothing serious...but you have Ashildr to think of. You've heard the good news?"
The Doctor looked at her blankly.
"What news?"
"The mother of your child is starting to show signs of waking up. I thought you would have known that, I thought you might have made the habit of calling the medical centre on a regular basis just to be sure she's okay."
That felt like an accusation.
"I know you think I'm being harsh but Kate, there was nothing between us!"
"And she's still the mother of your child - who might want that child back when she fully wakes up!"
"If she wakes up," he replied.
"That was harsh," Kate said to him, "Sounds like you're hoping she's going to stay in that place!"
"That's not true!" he told her sharply, and then he heard the voice of his child and looked down at her.
"I'm sorry about the raised voices, I'm going to take you upstairs now and show you the nursery."
And he got up from his seat and left the room and headed for the stairs and Kate followed.
As the Doctor put his baby daughter into the old fashioned wooden cot and tucked her in, the child smiled up at him.
"You like it in here, I know you do!" he said warmly, and then he paused to turn a mobile that hung over the cot that was decorated with glittering Gallifreyan swirls.
The baby watched as the mobile turned, and then she smiled again and closed her eyes. The Doctor watched her sleeping for a moment, and then he checked the baby monitor and walked back to the hallway to join Kate.
"We should leave her to sleep for a while."
Kate was still looking into the nursery, that place everything, it was full of toys and it was bright and cheerful and the old wallpaper seemed brighter for the way the sunlight came in to the room and lit the place with a soft golden glow as sunset approached.
"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked him.
He closed the door to the nursery, then they walked back towards the stairs together.
"I think so," he replied,"It's been tough but I couldn't have a greater incentive to look forward to than a new start with my own child."
They paused by the stairway, and the Doctor looked into her eyes.
"You haven't seen my bedroom yet," he said hopefully, and glanced to the door at the end of the hallway.
Kate's frosty look cancelled his hopes right away.
"How can you think about sex at a time like this? The mother of your child is seriously injured and her recovery can't even be predicted - and you want to drag me off to the bedroom?"
"No, it doesn't have to be that way. You could drag me if you like..."
Kate gave a sigh.
"Bad timing, and not appropriate under the circumstances," she told him, "You've had a lot to deal with and I think you should take this time to think about what you actually want to do – shagging me isn't going to change a thing."
He raised an eyebrow.
"It'll certainly beat jacking off on my own to the porn channel...not that I like the porn channel. Can't even get it on my TV."
Kate briefly smiled.
"I have to go, Doctor. If you need me – genuinely, for help – call me, okay?"
He nodded.
She kissed his cheek and he wished she had kissed his lips instead, and then he went downstairs with her and she opened the front door and left, and the Doctor stood there watching as she drove away, and then he closed door behind him once more, feeling slightly trapped in this house when all he had to do was go into that blue box upstairs and he could fly off to anywhere he wished...
But he couldn't do that, he had the baby to consider.
He felt lonely.
Then as he considered how Kate had rejected him, he felt resentment building once again as he thought of Ashildr:
Oh great, his involvement with her had now cost him Kate.
That was something else to blame her for...
After checking on his sleeping daughter, the Doctor went through to the master bedroom and then back to his Tardis, because being in there reminded him his real home was still here, tucked away within these walls of bricks and mortar.
He ran another scan on the faint energy trace and again the result came back that it was running on a loop, traceable back to the Tardis.
Yet the Tardis was clean...
Based on the fact that he trusted his ship, he knew there was no threat to his child, or to himself by the strange events that had happened since his arrival.
He guessed he would just have to live with it and work it out as he went along - when his thoughts were not on caring for his baby daughter.
Then a sound came from far off down the Tardis corridor, the softest click as a door closed.
The Doctor left the console room to investigate.
The door that had closed was the door to his bedroom on board the ship.
He paused by it and listened, hearing no sound, and then he turned the handle and the door swung open:
Everything was just as he left it, the bed made, the wardrobe open where he had taken out some clothing, the dressing table empty because he had moved everything from it to the house...
And then he felt strangely light headed and blinked.
In that moment the world flashed white, and he felt as if he were somewhere else:
There was a burner on a fancy table next to a bed that was not his. The room was dark and the white smoke that drifted up from the burner filled the room with a heady scent of an alien aphrodisiac that he was sure he could put a name to if he thought about it...
The bed was covered with silken sheets, the posts on the bed were draped with the same,colourful silken drapes, expensive and patterned with alien markings...
"Where am I?" he whispered.
The lights went out and only the burner glowed now, and he heard them, heavy breathing, gasping, on the brink of orgasm.
"Who are you?" he said in a hushed voice.
He looked about the room, and the flash came back, temporarily making him unsteady as the vision was ripped away. He grabbed at the handle of the door to steady himself, leant against it too hard and something struck the door frame, as the door refused to close.
The Doctor looked about the room now seeing nothing out of the ordinary, he was back in the Tardis in his bedroom and it looked just like he had left it...
Except for one thing...
As he turned back to the door, he saw why it had not closed, and slid the bolt back in place and then looked at it intently:
He knew he had been forgetful and sometimes missed small details since his regeneration, but he was pretty sure he would have noticed a lock on the inside of the door before...
How long had it been there?
It was slightly scratched, the paint around it was chipped as if it had been used a lot at one point, but he didn't recall putting it there...
"When did I do that?" he said aloud, and then he shook his head, deciding to write it off as a memory lapse, and he left the bedroom and closed the door behind him.
The Doctor left the Tardis, shut the door and went back through the house, down the stairs to the front room, where he snatched up his phone from the table and called Kate.
"I've only just got home, what's wrong?" she asked him.
The Doctor knew he was breaking out in a sweat and his hand shook as he held the phone, thinking of the sounds he had heard and the things he had seen...
"Something...I just need to talk to you about something..."
"What's wrong now?" she said again and this time, as he heard the concern in her voice, he knew he could not say he had been seeing things – if he said that, she would take the baby back to the medical centre for sure, she was already expecting him to crack up over losing Clara - and maybe he was, but he wasn't going to let her know about it...
"Oh...nothing," he said, as he tried not to sound nervous, "I just wanted to ask you if you fancied coming over tonight, I thought you might change your mind?"
"I'm busy, I've got paperwork to do. And you have a child to take care of, Doctor! Don't call me again unless it's an emergency, okay?"
He gave a sigh.
"Sorry Kate it won't happen again -"
She hung up.
The Doctor put the phone back down on the table and then sat down heavily in the armchair, then he checked the baby monitor on the table and allowed himself some time to rest. But it didn't feel like rest, not when a thought kept going around in his mind that he couldn't shake off:
Maybe Kate was right.
Perhaps he couldn't cope with all this sudden change.
Maybe he was losing his mind...
