水曜日 - Wednesday
Feliciano sat on the couch, reading Ludwig's journal. Because he started from the front cover, he was only reading bad things about him; how he's lazy or how he's aggravating or how useless he is.
"W-What is this?" he asked himself as he read and re-read Ludwig's harsh words.
Let someone else be his baby sitter!
Feliciano looked at the line over and over again. His eyes were wide with shock and his hands began to shake. Suddenly, Ludwig came into the room.
"There you are." He said, but Feliciano did not move or respond. He became worried when he saw Feliciano's shocked expression. "Italy, what's wrong?" Feliciano finally looked at him, his eyes teary.
"Doitsu…" he said, holding up the journal, "I-Is this really what you think of me? A-Am I really that difficult to deal with?"
"T-That's my…" Ludwig said, "Italy, listen, I don't know what you've read but-"
"I've read enough!" Feliciano interrupted, "Enough to know that you think that I-I'm… useless…"
"Italy, that's not true!" Ludwig said in a desperate attempt to defend himself, "I-"
"Doitsu… I thought you loved me…" Feliciano said. His hands were still shaking and tears were beginning to escape from his eyes.
"I do!"
"Then why haven't you told me?" Feliciano said on the offensive, "If you loved me then why did you write so many bad things about me? I don't think you do love me…"
"That's not true!"
"Then say it!" Feliciano yelled, "Tell me that you love me right now!"
"I…. I…" Ludwig stuttered. What's wrong with you?! he thought, Just say it! 'Italy, I love you!' "I… l-l…"
"Y-You can't say it!" Feliciano said, heartbroken, "You don't love me…"
"Italy…" Ludwig said as he attempted to wipe the tears off of Feliciano's face. As soon as he got close, Feliciano pushed him away.
"Don't touch me…" Feliciano said, "I don't even want to be near you right now…" By now, tears were beginning to build up in Ludwig's eyes.
"F-Fine…" He said, "If you don't want to be near me, I'll just… leave-"
"Go!" Feliciano yelled, "I'm not stopping you!" He turned away from Ludwig and let go of the tears he was holding on to. His eyes were clenched and he bit his lip as the tears rolled down his cheek. His hands sill shook as he clenched the journal. Ludwig was now finding it difficult to hold his own tears back, so he turned for the door and grabbed the knob.
"Italy, I do love you…" He said under his breath for he was unable to say it aloud. He turned the handle, opened the door, and then looked back at Feliciano. A single tear escaped from his eyes and rolled down his cheek. He walked through the door and shut it behind him. As soon as the door clicked, Feliciano threw the journal at the door. When it hit the door, it bounced off then fell open on the ground. Feliciano then plopped on the couch and cried for a good ten minutes. When he could cry anymore, he got up and went to pick up the journal. As he bent down to pick it up, something caught his attention.
Italy makes it apparent that he loves me but can't seem to do the same. I love him, god do I love him, but I'm incapable of showing it. I feel bad looking back at earlier entries, seeing how often I badmouth him, but I do love him. I really do.
Feliciano fell to his knees and picked up the journal and read the last sentence again.
I feel bad looking back at earlier entries, seeing how often I badmouth him, but I do love him. I really do.
"W-What have I done?"
