The next morning I go to work and House storms into my office. I look up and sigh. "What do you want?"
"Is this your thong?" He throws my thong at me and I gasp.
"Where did you get these?" I put them in my pocket realizing it would have been a better idea to deny it a second too late.
"It is?!" He glares at me.
I frown. "Where did you get them?"
"Thirteen." He frowns. "How did she get them?!"
I take a deep breath. "Send her down here. And go away."
"How did she get them?"
"Obviously without my knowledge. Send her down here."
"Why would you not notice that you weren't wearing panties?"
"I wouldn't. I haven't worn these in a while." I lie and sigh. "I'm calling Thirteen down. Get out." I call her down and see him waiting. "Go away."
Thirteen comes in and I frown. "We need to talk."
"What about."
"House just brought me my panties." I glare at her. "House get out."
"Not until you tell me how she got them. Or she tells me."
"I broke into her house before she got home. You said the thong of Lisa Cuddy. You didn't say it had to be the one she was wearing."
"Doesn't count." He mutters as he leaves.
When he closes the door I glare at her again. "Is that why you asked me out?"
She frowns. "I really do like you."
"Funny way of showing it." I glare at her hurt. "Get out."
"I'm sorry." She sighs. "I did it because House said the person who got it got immunity. I know about the dare until after I asked you out."
"I don't believe you. Get out of my office."
"I'm sorry." She walks out.
I get a little work done and House comes back in. "What do you want now?"
"Those were dirty."
"I don't want to know how you figure that. Go away."
"They had a damp stain."
"Perv." I glare at him.
"How did she really get them? And can I have those back? Need them for the ceremony."
I frown. "She broke into my house. She told us both. And no way in hell am I giving you my panties."
"She didn't get them that way. You were wearing them."
I sigh. "House get out."
He gets closer to me and looks at me. "Have you been crying?"
"No." I deny it even though I have been and frown at him. "Go away. I have work to do."
"Tell me how she got them."
"When did give them the challenge?"
"Yesterday."
"Did your patient need a brain biopsy?"
"No…"
I frown. "Oh. Go away."
"Why did you think he did?"
"I thought I saw you on the O.R. Room log."
"Yeah, right."
"Go away House."
"Give me the panties then."
I throw them at him and he smells them. "Ew! House! At least leave first!"
"They smell like you were aroused."
I frown. "House. Go away."
"Why do they smell like you were horny?"
"Because I probably was. Or you're delusional. One of the two."
"Why would you be?"
"You get spontaneous wood, I get wet spontaneously. I thought you were a doctor. Go away."
"Tell me."
I scowl at him. "Get the fuck out of my office."
"Fuck… good idea. Was she fucking you?"
I purse my lips and glare at him. "Get out."
"She was!" He looks jealous and I frown.
"No she wasn't."
"Tell the truth. I can tell when you're lying."
"How?" I raise an eyebrow.
"You purse your lips."
I frown. "She asked me on a date. We went on one, she took me home and we kissed. She's a good kisser and I was horny so I let her in. She touched me for a while and then bit me and I sent her home. I still don't know how she got them, I got dressed first. Happy?" I glare at him angry.
"You weren't crying because of your reputation, you were crying because you really did like her?" He looks insanely jealous.
"Yes." I sigh. "Go away House."
"Slut."
I look at him. "What?"
"You heard me."
I glare at him. "I am not!"
"You went on one date."
"I haven't had sex in almost 8 years before her!" I frown at him. "I am not a slut. And I don't appreciate being called one just because you're jealous I wouldn't sleep with you." I clear my throat. "Now get the hell out of my office."
"I'm not jealous." He looks down my body. "No way you went 8 years without sex." I glare at him.
"It's not at the top of my to do list." I frown. "If you don't get out I'll call security to escort you out."
"I still think you're a slut."
"I think you should keep your opinions to yourself."
"I think you should keep your pussy to yourself."
I glare at him. "You're fired."
"No I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
"On what grounds?"
"Sexual and verbal abuse. Get out of my hospital."
"No."
"I'm calling security." I call security.
"Don't fire me or else."
"Or what?"
"I'll tell everyone what you did."
"I didn't."
"I know you did."
"Prove it." I glare at him. "Please escort him off the premises."
House is escorted away and I page the team. "What do you need?" Foreman asks and I look at all of them.
"I fired House. If any of you would like a job under Dr. Foreman in diagnostics I'm ok with that. If not you are free to apply for other jobs here or elsewhere." I smile at them.
"You fired House?!" Foreman asks shocked.
"He crossed a line even he knew better than crossing and it was grounds for firing him." I say in my administrative voice.
"What did he do?"
"It doesn't matter." I frown. "Do you want to head a diagnostic department?"
"If you'd let me. But I'd like to know what he did even more."
"Sexual and verbal abuse. And no I will not tell you what he said."
"What did he do then?"
"Panty challenge." I frown. "I know about it."
"So it was successful?"
"No." I frown. "I found out about it. Do you guys want to work under Foreman?" I look at them. Taub, Kutner, Thirteen, and Cut Throat Bitch say yes. "Ok. See you Monday then. Thirteen please stay." I look at her.
"So she won."
"No, she informed me of it. Please leave." Everyone leaves but Thirteen and she looks at me hopefully.
"Yeah?"
"There was no brain biopsy."
She frowns. "I'm sorry."
"You are not welcome to work in this hospital."
"On what grounds? Screwing the boss?"
I frown. "I can't work with you."
"That's not a ground."
"Endangering a patient."
"What patient."
"You worked under House, most of them."
"I'm sorry Cuddy. I really do like you."
"I don't believe you. Or really care." I frown at her and she gets closer to me and looks at me.
"You've been crying."
"Yes." I don't even try to hide it.
"Why?"
"House said some very cruel things to me." I frown.
"What?"
"Like you care. Get out of this hospital and do not come back." I frown at her.
"Please don't fire me."
"Play with fire, you're going to get burned. I take back what I said yesterday. I don't like you and you are an ass who didn't deserve a chance."
"I'm sorry."
"I don't care." She leaves and I go back to work.
~END~
