A/N: I am so glad you guys are liking it so far!
Donnie paced his lab, cursing himself over and over. He'd hoped that Traximus's file on the transporter device would give him something, even an infinitesimal amount to go on. But it hadn't. The specs were so detailed, he could've built one. That is if he'd had all the Triceraton components. All in all, it hadn't given him much to work off of. Turning his gaze back to the box of burnt and melted parts, he sighed.
"Did ya find anything, bro?" Raph asked as he entered Donnie's lab, even though he knew he wouldn't be heard. He watched his brother lower his head into one hand as he half leaned on his desk. Raph could already see the answer in his brother's posture, even without it being verbalized. "Don…I…I wish…" Raph clenched his fist. There was no point in offering apologies when no one could hear him. He stood beside Don, his head down.
Don let out another heavy sigh, rubbing his tired red eyes. He hadn't been able to sleep yet. He'd been too anxious to look over the file. As he lifted his head, something on the darkened computer screen caught the corner of his eye. He raised his head quickly, but the shadow was gone. Don rubbed at his eyes again. I must be really tired. My eyes are playing tricks on me.
He rose and stepped out of his lab, followed by Raph. Leo met them near the stairs. "Did you get the file?" Don nodded. "And?"
"It's exactly what I was afraid of. The device has very limited and exact parameters. If everything isn't exactly as it should be the whole thing doesn't work."
Leo frowned. "But-"
"I went over that file five times, Leo. I wish there was something -anything- in it to give me even the slightest clue. If there had been I would be jumping all over it right now." Don shook his head sadly. "Look it's been a very long day. I need to some sleep."
Leo gave a solemn nod, his eyes downcast. But before Don could take to the stairs, the door to the lair opened.
Raph felt his spirits rise again. "Casey!"
"Hey, guys!" Casey's voice sounded across the space. When he spotted Leo and Don, he walked over. "What's up? I've been tryin' to call Raph for like three hours. Is the bonehead, sleepin' or somethin'?" Leo and Don exchanged pained looks and Casey frowned. "What's with the faces?"
Leo shook his head and looked up at his brother. "Go on to bed, Don. I'll talk to Casey."
Donnie eyed their hotheaded friend with a frown. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I know you're tired."
Don squeezed his brother's shoulder. "Call me, if you need me."
Leo nodded again and Don left them. Casey watched the exchange with a growing knot in his stomach. "Leo, where's Raph?"
"Come sit down, Casey. It's a long story."
The vigilante listened as Leo told him what had happened. All the while, behind him Raph paced back and forth, trying to get Casey's attention. But his friend never looked at him and a growing fear was creeping across his features.
"So, Don thinks Raph's been disintegrated?"
"Yes, but I'm still not fully convinced."
Casey stared at him blankly. "But if Donnie thinks…. Why don't ya? I mean, do ya got some kinda reason not to? Do ya got some kind ninja vibe or somethin'?" He would take any reason not to believe his friend was dead. All he needed was some small speck of hope.
Leo looked down at his hands. "No, I don't really have a reason, other than I feel it in my heart. I know he's still with us somehow."
It was Casey's turn to shake his head. "Leo, I wanna believe it too. But from what ya told me it ain't likely." The human swallowed hard and averted his gaze. "This is just gonna crush April."
"No!" Both Leo and Raph said in unison. Leo put up his hands. "Don't tell her. Not yet anyways. It's only just happened and maybe we can find a way to get him back."
Casey was shaking as he stood. "I won't, but I don't know how long I'll be able to keep it from her. She'll find out eventually."
"Just…try to keep her at bay a few days." Leo pleaded.
Casey nodded, shuffling to the door. "I'll try…" He paused with his hand on the doorframe, his shoulders slumped. "Leo?"
"Yeah, Casey?"
"Do everything ya can to get 'im back. He's my best bud."
Raph felt his insides twist as a tear escaped the corner of Casey's eye. And then he was gone, disappeared through the doorway. Raph bit his lip. Well, that hadn't helped anything. April was going to be sure to see how upset Casey was and head down there as soon as she figured it out. Raph ran through the conversation again and turned to Leo, who was doing the same thing.
He watched as Leo pulled his shell-cell from his belt and stared at it. Raph snapped his fingers. "Yeah, that's right! Casey said he tried to call me." He flipped open his phone to see three missed calls. He frowned. His phone had never rung, but it had to have picked up some sort of signal to register the calls. Acting quickly, he dialed Leo's number. Maybe, just maybe, it would work. "Come on! Come on!" On his end, he could hear Leo's phone ringing, but the phone in his brother's hands never made a sound.
Leo stood, clutching his phone. "If it were only that easy." He threw it against the couch and it bounced off the back and into the seat cushion.
Raph watched as his brother stalked off. Still clutching the phone to his ear, he heard Leo's voice mail pick up, static filled and distant. As soon as his elder brother' s voice ceased and there was a beep, Raph began speaking rapidly. "Leo! You're right, I'm still here! I saw you throw the phone down! You got to hear me, bro! This is completely nuts! I can see and hear you guys, but you can't me! But I am here! I ain't dead, Leo! Tell Don and Mikey! I'm still here!" He rambled on for a few more moments until the recorder cut him off.
Raph grumbled about stupid machines as he stared at the blasted device. He had no way of knowing if Leo would get the message or if he'd even check it. So, he decided to make similar calls to Mikey, Don, Splinter, and even Casey. Then he tried to text them all. By the time he was done, Leo had disappeared upstairs. Having nothing else he could do, Raph climbed the stairs as well. He looked from his room to each of his brother's.
Not wanting to be alone, he gravitated back to Mikey's room. Maybe it was his need to protect his youngest brother or comfort him somehow, but for whatever reason he felt he needed to be near him. This time he pushed his way through the solid door a lot slower. It gave only the slightest resistance as he stepped through. Mikey was sound asleep, snoring with Klunk still curled up on top of him. Normally, Raph would have made some snide remark about the amount of noise coming from his little brother, but at that moment the noise was almost comforting. Settling down on the floor, he tucked his arms behind his head.
He couldn't honestly say he was sleepy. He'd only drifted off in Donnie's lab because he'd been so bored. Taking a quick assessment of himself, he realized he wasn't tired or hungry or anything really. He hadn't even needed to use the facilities. He frowned at the thought. Did that mean that this limbo kept him a sort of stasis bubble? He was suspended between time and space, not even aging?
Sab said he's been here for centuries. Does that mean if my bros don't get me out, I'll be locked in here forever? He felt his pulse begin to race at the thought. That would be a terrifying existence, even for him. He might not always admit it or appreciate it, but he needed that contact with his family. They were what kept him grounded and gave him real purpose.
Raph rolled onto his side, the position slightly more comfortable. He closed his eyes with the intent of trying to rest. Though his body didn't seem to require it, he felt as if he needed it. It had been more than twenty-four hours since he'd had any sleep. He took in a deep breaths, allowing Mikey's constant snore and his presence to relax him a bit.
Raph felt himself just begin to doze when a shriek broke through the air around him. His eyes snapped open and he jumped to his feet. He was no longer in his brother's room, but standing on a vast landscape. The sky above him was a blood red and the earth beneath him was scorched black. Fires raged all around him. The shriek came again, drawing his gaze to the sky as what he could only classify as a dragon swooped through the air.
His jaw hung open. "Holy shell! Where am I?"
He didn't have time to ponder the dragon as hooves pounded the ground nearby. He spun in time to see several horses with riders barreling down on him. He dove to the side with a gasp, only to land in front of another horse and rider.
The horse reared and his rider kicked him. "Confounded beast!" He dug his heel into the horse's flanks. Raph threw up his arm as the creature's hooves came down on him. After a moment, he realized he felt nothing. He cracked open an eye to see the group of horsemen riding away. None of which had seemed to see him.
"What is goin' on! How'd I get here!" He jumped back to his feet. The landscape revealed nothing familiar to him. It looked more like a scene from a medieval movie. Rolling hills of ash, which had likely been lush green grass at some point. The familiar sounds of combat reached his ears and he turned to walk in its direction.
He crested a hill to see a full-on battle raging in the small valley beneath him. As he stared at the men in armor, awestruck, a voice hissed behind him. "Do you like what you see, Raphael?"
He twisted around to find Sab floating mere feet from him. He frowned. "Is this your home dimension?"
Sab tilted his black head as if considering the question. "It is the dimension of my origin."
Raph glanced back at the men swinging a large variety of weapons, all of which looked deadly. "What's goin' on here?"
"Death. Glorious death." Sab let out another laugh that sent a chill down Raph's spine.
He opened his mouth to ask for a better explanation, when there was a footfall behind him. Once again, he turned to find himself staring at a man – or at least that's what Raph assumed he was. The man's face, like the riders', was grayish in color and held deep wrinkled lines. His nose was upturned slightly, almost like that of a hog. "Demons!"
Sab hissed, his tongue flicking out. "Mystic."
Raph put up his hands. "Whoa, I'm no demon." Then it struck him. "You can see me! You gotta help me!" He took a step forward, which as it turned out was a very bad idea. The man charged him with his sword, which seemed to glow in the gloom. Raph instinctively dodged the blows, though it was unlikely the man's sword could hurt him. "Wait! I ain't gonna hurt ya!" He jumped back out of range, landing beside Sab.
The man swung again and the blade sliced through Sab. His body seemed to vanish before Raph's eyes. He put up his hands. What just happened? Did he just kill Sab? Raph took a step back, his eyes wide as the blade swished through the air again. "No! Wait! I just want to go home!" He cried out as the blade descended.
For a moment Raph struggled to breathe. It felt like he'd just been hit by a stack of bricks and flung two football fields. He slowly opened his eyes to find he was in Mikey's room again. But his brother wasn't there. Raph swiped at the sweat dripping off his brow and beak. "Damn it." He muttered. Whatever had just happened, he didn't want it to happen again. "Sleepin' is obviously a very bad idea." Willing his heart to return to a steady beat, he clamored to his feet.
Making his way out of the room, he found the lair strangely quiet. Once he'd descended the stairs, he spotted Mikey sitting on the couch staring off into nothing. Klunk was at his elbow, rubbing his head on the younger turtle's arm. But for once, Mikey didn't seem to acknowledge him.
Leo suddenly appeared from the kitchen with two steaming mugs in hand. He handed one to his brother. "Here, this will settle your stomach." He patted the cat's head and sat down on the other side of him. "It'll be okay, Mikey"
For the first time that morning, Mikey lifted his head. His normally bright eyes were dim. "How exactly will it be okay? Raph's gone." His eyes drifted back down to the floor. "We don't even have a body to burry."
"He's not gone." Leo stated firmly, working his jaw.
Mikey stood up abruptly, nearly knocking Klunk on the floor. "Why do you keep saying that!"
"Because it's true." Leo muttered.
Mikey plopped the mug on the coffee table and waved his hands in the air. "Why!"
"I don't know why." Leo stared into his own mug, searching for the right words. "I just know," he lifted a hand to his heart, "in here."
Mikey shook his head, his expression both distraught and confused. "I wanna believe you, Leo. I really, really do. I want Raph back as much as you do, but Donnie-."
"Donnie's wrong!" Leo snapped. "He's given up!"
Mikey frowned. "He's not giving up! He's facing reality!" He dragged a hand down his face, his stomach was churning again. "Look, I'm not up for this. I don't want to fight. I think I need to lie down again." He started for the stairs, but paused with his hand on the rail. "Maybe you should start thinking about what's real and what's hopeful thinking too. Because what you're doin' isn't healthy, bro."
When he was gone, Leo let out a heavy sigh. He wished he could convince his brothers that Raphael was still alive. But how could he, when all he had was a feeling to go on. Maybe I am just fooling myself with hopeful thinking. He looked down at Klunk, who seemed to be watching something. "What do you think, Klunk? Am I being foolish?"
Noticing Leo's attention on the cat, Raph moved close. "Come on, Klunk. Ya gotta help me out here. Let Leo know you see me." He wiggled his fingers in front of the cat and Klunk swiped at them.
Leo gave the orange feline a strange look. "What're you doing?" Raph moved his hand up to Leo's mug and Klunk followed still swiping at what Leo thought was thin air. When the cat swatted at the mug, Leo frowned. "Mikey has made you crazy, Klunk. I'm going to have to talk to him about all that pizza he keeps feeding you."
The turtle stood, collecting his brother's abandoned tea. He looked up in time to see Klunk spring at something he couldn't see. With a shake of his head, he carried the cups back to the kitchen.
Raph growled. "Well, that didn't work." Klunk meowed at him and he gave the him a weak smile. "Thanks for your help anyways."
Upstairs, Don rolled over and frowned at the ceiling. He hadn't really slept. His mind was still a whirlwind of half-formed theories, grief, and guilt. He'd allowed this to happen. He hadn't been paying attention. He could have prevented all of this with one simple action. If he'd unplugged the device, Raph would still be there. He'd still be there to tease him when Don grew too serious. He'd still be there to watch his back in battle. He'd still be there to distract Mikey when he became too annoying. He'd still be there.
Taking a deep breath, he sat up, shoving the covers aside. Maybe if he distracted himself with a mundane project. Often times working with his hands doing a routine activity, helped to clear his head. Pulling on his gear and mask, he made for the garage. The Battleshell needed an oil change.
Raph stepped out of the kitchen, where Leo was washing dishes, at the sound of a door opening. He watched as Donnie descended the stairs. The genius glanced towards the kitchen, then hurried to the elevator. Frowning, Raph ran to climb inside with him. "Avoiding Leo, huh? That's usually my thing." Now that he was closer, he could see dark rings peeking out from beneath his brother's purple mask. "You don't look so good, Donnie-boy. You really should try to get some more sleep." His brother just stared blankly at the doors. Raph sighed. "Yeah, I guess that ain't gonna happen."
Donnie exited the elevator and gave the old warehouse a quick look in case of intruders. When his gaze fell on the red motorcycle, he pressed his eyes shut, fighting the intense pain in his chest. His fists clenched tightly at his side. Biting his lip, he turned his back on the beloved machine – that as far as he knew would probably never get used again. He knew he wouldn't have the heart to ride it and it was unlikely Leo or Mikey would either.
Raph watched the pain flicker across Don's face to be replaced with a forlorn expression as he made his way to the Battleshell. Opening the door, he popped the hood and switched on the radio. He shifted through several stations before settling on one.
"Hard rock? Gee, you really must be feelin' off?" Raph squatted near Don as he prepared the oil pan. He knew the genius usually preferred something softer – classical tended to be his music of choice when alone.
Donnie was hopping the noise would drown out his own thoughts and allow him to focus on the mindless chore before him.
Raph frowned at the tense set of Don's shoulders. "That ain't gonna work, Don. You can't relax to somethin' you don't like." Raph moved around to the open driver's door as Don leaned over the engine. He climbed into the seat, though it took some concentration not float right through the bottom of the truck. He frowned at the dial. "You're listenin' to my station?" At that moment, all Raph wanted to do was reach out and change it to the one his brother liked. He needed to see him unwind, to remove that guilt in his eyes even for an instant.
He reached out, his phantom fingers passing through the radio. The thing suddenly hissed with static and a small shock ran up his hand. "Ow!"
Don jumped, banging his head on the inside of the hood. He stared around him, rubbing his head. What was that?
A/N: Hmm, maybe that'll work Raphie. By the way, I'm loving those reviews!
