Chapter Three

It was difficult to keep focused. Having had no sleep in the last few days, he couldn't keep his mind in check. It wandered frequently, and, since they were both Strahl candidates and thus in the same class nearly all day, Orpherus's sapphire eyes continued fastening on Ludwig's chest. They examined it, searching for the slightest lump that would indicate that Ludwig, indeed, had Robertine's pendant. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Orpherus concluded that Ludwig didn't really have it, which was why he himself hadn't been able to get to it the night before, but the greater part of him knew better. It knew Ludwig too well, and it knew that Ludwig didn't lie.

"You look as though you have something to say to me, Orpherus," came Ludwig's smooth voice. Orpherus jumped, blue eyes flashing up to Ludwig's amethyst. "Do you?"

He bit his tongue. He had a lot of things to say to Ludwig, but he didn't want to bring it up in front of everyone else. At Orpherus's silence, Ludwig gathered his books and stood.

"Perhaps you should consider paying attention to the lessons, Orpherus."

"Lui!" Camus said, half-scoldingly, to his cousin.

"It wouldn't be the first time he disregarded the lesson. As I've said many times before, he should have some mastery of his emotions."

"Orphe is sick, Lui," Eduard said defensively. "Yet he's coming to class. Perhaps you should think of being considerate."

"I am. If he comes to class he should pay attention, sick or upset or not. That's the way he should be, if he wishes to serve the king."

And he left, long hair trailing on the air behind him. Eduard looked like he was about to follow and call Ludwig out, but Orpherus said tiredly, "Forget it. He's probably right, anyhow."

"Orphe!" Naoji said, stunned.

"If I'm sick and I decide to come to class, I should at least pay attention." Orpherus pushed himself up. "But I am feeling dizzy. I think I'm going to go back to my room."

"We only have morning classes tomorrow. Perhaps you should think about just going home tonight, Orphe," Eduard suggested. "You'd rest better there, wouldn't you?"

He perked up at that. It was a long weekend. Almost everyone would be going home, Ludwig included. This could be the chance he needed.

"Yes... perhaps that would be best. I suppose I'd best go home, then."

"Do you need someone to come with you?" Eduard asked, concern flickering in his jade eyes. "You really don't seem too well at all. You're looking more fevered."

"Thank you, Ed, but -"

"I'll go back with you. Just to make sure you get there okay."

Eduard was insistent... there was no throwing him off. Orpherus let out a long sigh. Just an escort was fine, but explaining his plan would either only make Eduard angry or confused. Best to keep it between himself and Ludwig.

"Thank you, Ed."

He gathered his things while Eduard called a carriage. By habit, his hand reached out for the pendant, and, grasping nothing but air, his mind fell back to anger. He forced it out - he had to remain calm for this. If the entirety of this ordeal wasn't amusing to Ludwig, at least the fact that Orpherus was getting so flustered was. For the sake of recovering the locket, he had to keep his head.

The carriage ride back to his home was silent - Orpherus was deep in thought, trying to work out exactly what he was going to do. Ludwig's home, though not too far, was a bit of a journey from his own mansion. He would have to leave early and try to catch the Liechtenstein heir just as he was arriving back at home.

"Orphe, are you sure you feel fine?"

"Hm? Oh... yes, Ed. I'm fine."

"I don't think so. Something's up. You're not usually so quiet... you're beginning to worry me."

"I'm sorry." He supposed he hadn't been himself the last day or two. "Please don't worry, I'm fine."

"Is there something going on between you and Lui? He seems at your throat a bit more than normal. Same for you to him."

He stiffened a bit, but said, "No."

"... Orphe, you know you can tell me what's going on. I want to help you."

Orpherus, though touched by Eduard's honesty, didn't want his help this time... or rather, he didn't want Eduard to know what had already happened. But from the look in those green eyes, Eduard said he was going to continue pestering Orpherus until he learned what was going on. Orpherus let out a long sigh.

"He just has something of mine, is all."

"And that's making you tear each other apart?"

"He's being stubborn in returning it. It's a bit unusual of him, and I'm having a hard time trying to convince him to give it back. That's all. It's a bit stressing when I'm already sick, but it's nothing to worry about."

"What does he have, Orphe?"

"A book of mine."

For a second, he thought Eduard wouldn't believe that, but Eduard leaned back in his seat with a bit of a goofy smile.

"Well, if it's a book, you should expect him to be a bit resistant, especially if he hasn't finished it. You know all he does all day is read."

He felt guilty... guilty for lying to Eduard, guilty for feeling relieved that he believed that lie. But he felt he couldn't tell Eduard what was really going on... it would make Eduard angry, and it was embarrassing to think of what he had done in order to get the locket back. He didn't want to involve Eduard in this ridiculous struggle.

"Right. Sometimes I forget."

"It's nothing to worry yourself over too much, especially since you're sick. Lui is an honest guy, even if he's a funny way of showing it. He'll return it to you eventually, and sooner rather than later."

That struck Orpherus. If he didn't play Ludwig's game, would the elder return the locket of his own free will? He almost decided to take that option, but then he remembered Ludwig saying, "Here is a situation where I will not allow you to succeed with mere words. You must be a man of action," and he felt himself turn back to frustration.

"At any rate, Orphe, what you need to concern yourself with is just resting. You look a little better, but if you just relax this weekend you should completely heal. Sometimes it's better to just get away from the stress."

"Yes, I'll be sure to take care of myself." Oh... "What are you intending to do?"

"I thought I might go visit Camus' house. I can't be imposing on you all the time."

"You're welcome anytime. You know that."

"Well then..." A bright grin. "Perhaps I'll drop in to see how you're doing."

Orpherus managed a weak smile. "I'd really appreciate it."

"Make sure you rest so we can get into some trouble when I come."

"Of course."

Upon reaching his home, Eduard accompanied him in, helping him carry his things to his room. He then stayed long enough to greet Orpherus's parents before he winked and slipped out the door. Orpherus then retreated to his room, collapsing on his bed.

He felt weak, almost enough that he discarded his plan of confronting Ludwig the next day, but the anger at Ludwig holding on to Robertine's locket compounded with his embarrassment kept the idea set in stone. Tiredly, he rolled onto his side.

Tonight, definitely, he had to sleep.

~.oOOo.~

He stood a long time in front of the golden gates, trying to work up the courage to go in. Sure, he was angry at Ludwig, angry enough to go out of his way simply to meet with the elder, but there were so many things holding him back.

He'd slept, just a bit, the night before, and the night before last had repeated itself in his dreams. He could feel so vividly Ludwig's closeness, his strength. He relieved the sensation of brushing across Ludwig's skin, feeling those deep eyes piercing so deeply into him it hurt. And he had awoken, gasping, drenched in sweat as if it were... no, it was a nightmare. The reality of the dream left him dizzy, confused, and he had lain awake the rest of the night, trying to calm himself down enough to doze.

What was the meaning of the repetitive recalling? He didn't want to remember. He felt so ashamed of himself every time he wanted to die. He didn't know why his mind kept allowing those memories to rise to the surface, when there were far better memories stored away.

"Orpherus."

That deep voice echoed in his head. He shivered, hugging himself. He had to forget it... forget that -

"Orpherus."

It was behind him. He whirled to see Ludwig behind him. There was something flickering in those eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

"I..." His voice failed out on him in Ludwig's presence. Why? He needed to talk. He needed to be able to speak. "I came to talk to you."

A change in expression flitted across his face. A bit of a calculating silence, then, "I see. I'll invite you in."

"I apologize for turning up so suddenly." He still had to be cordial. Ludwig wasn't worth losing his manners over.

"It's quite all right. Though what you're doing standing in front of my gate when you could have just gone in is beyond me."

They approached the gates, which swung open, together, and walked side-by-side into the mansion. Ludwig nodded briefly to all the servants that greeted them, saying clippedly, "He'll be with me. Please bring us some tea."

Ascending the long staircase was a bit difficult for Orpherus – he wobbled slightly, clutching at the handrail. Ludwig stopped close by, waiting for him to regain his balance, and moving up with him when he began climbing again.

"You seem quite sick."

"Didn't Eduard tell you so yesterday?"

No response. Ludwig opened the door into a wide, but comfortable, sitting room. "Since I've just arrived, I hope you don't mind waiting here for a moment."

"No, thank you." Tiredly, Orpherus took a seat on the couch. He heard the door click shut just a moment later, and he was left sitting by himself. The couch faced towards a wall of windows, the gardens of the manor revealed. The gentle noonday sunlight streamed in through the window, like a light curtain, falling pleasantly over him. It was peaceful, and comfortable... Orpherus let out a long sigh. He suddenly felt very tired, and struggled to keep awake. Of all places to fall asleep, here was not one to do so.

The door creaked open again, and Orpherus turned his head to see Ludwig approaching. He had changed out of his traveling clothes into lighter, more comfortable casual ones. The long, flowing material of his shirt cascaded around him like royal robes, pooling silkenly on the ground as he sat in the chair near the couch.

"What did you want to speak to me about, Orpherus?"

He swallowed hard - his heart was raging against him again. His eyes were drawn to Ludwig's collarbone, which was revealed from underneath the partially-unbuttoned shirt. "I want my sister's locket back, Ludwig."

"And you'll get it if you'll do what you agreed to do. You said you would get it yourself. Go ahead and do it."

"Is there no level to which you won't fall, Ludwig?!" The angry words were out of his mouth before he could consider what to say in response. Ludwig didn't even blink.

"I have done nothing wrong. You agreed to it, so if you want it you must hold up your end."

"Lui!" he exclaimed, hoping the plea of familiarity would do something.

"Orphe," was the calm response. "I'm not going to stop you. I did nothing to impediment your attempts to get the locket last time, and you almost succeeded. But you stopped yourself and you ran away. You cannot blame me for that."

"I've always held you in high regard, no matter how much our views differed, Ludwig. But now... you anger me. This is not honourable, as I thought you were."

"Trying to blackmail me with that, Orpherus, will not work. I could care less how you think of me, but what I do care for is whether or not you have the power to act the way you should. And right now, you don't. 'You must be proud of your enemy,' said Nietzsche, 'then the successes of your enemy are your successes too'."

"Are you saying I'm your enemy?" Orpherus demanded.

No response, but a cool, expecting look. He was smouldering inside - without thinking, he got up, crossed to where Ludwig was, and tore the left of his shirt to the side. His heart was beating so fast in the back of his mouth he thought he might vomit from the anxiety. Ludwig sat still, expression still not changing, but eyes almost aglow.

There was a small pocket on the inner breast. His mind screamed at him to stop, but, grimacing, he reached into it. His wrist brushed Ludwig's pectoral, sending a heavy shudder through him at the sensation.

Nothing in there.

"Ludwig..." he whispered, choked with horror.

"I never said I had it with me at this moment, Orpherus." Amethyst eyes were observing his hand, pressed over Ludwig's heart. "Though that was rather bold of you."

His face was burning. He released Ludwig and backed away, growing very dizzy. Stumbling, he managed to get back to the couch and collapsed there, breathing hard, trying to sort his mind out. He could still feel Ludwig's strong chest against his wrist. It felt like fire.

"You..."

"You seem in no shape to travel all the way home, Orpherus." It was said after an initial pause. "I am the only one of my family here now. Though I shudder to say it, I will allow you to stay the night here. Please give me your company."

This was a nightmare. He wanted to wake up. He slowly turned sick eyes to Ludwig's, but there was no trace of a joke. He was completely serious. Though Orpherus dearly wanted to say no, he knew his own limits. Ludwig was right, a ride home would only worsen his condition.

"Fine," he said in a strangled voice. "Thank you."

This was a nightmare... a complete and utter nightmare.