The second day was a stir of activity as Ellie insisted they all unpack, stock up, which meant another run to the town for a few items they had forgotten, and getting 'comfortable'. Chuck and Casey had spent most of the day basically ignoring her, but by the end of it, Ellie was well on her way to creating herself a little nest.
"We're going to be here almost a month," she had told them. "Why'd you want to live out of suitcases?"
Chuck had just shrugged. He was use to traveling all over without the luxury of even having a suitcase. Of course, he didn't tell Ellie that.
But when they woke the next day, it was to the smell of syrupy waffles, bacon and coffee. Not bothering to get dressed, Chuck went out and plopped down at the table in his boxers and undershirt. Ellie and the kids were the only ones up. Ellie was fully dressed, but the kids were still in their PJs.
Ellie glanced over and shook her head, "I seriously feel like I have three kids."
Chuck smiled as he saw Awesome coming out of their room wearing only a pair of boxer briefs, himself.
"Morning babe," he said, kissing Ellie's cheek. She rolled her eyes and sighed, "It's vacation," he added, knowing his wife all too well by now.
With that, they sat down to breakfast. A few minutes later, Casey, who was wearing his robe, joined them. He went straight for the coffee.
"See. Don't you feel silly now?" Chuck grinned, seeing Casey glance over his shoulder curiously, before turning, sitting down and taking a sip on his drink with a satisfied sigh.
Ellie gave a twisted smile conceding the fact, before leaning down and whispering in Casey ear, "You better eat something."
Casey grunted and glared at her over the rim of his cup.
Awesome's blue eyes sparkled, "Isn't Mommy silly?" he said to the children. "She's telling Uncle John to eat."
The kids giggled. If there was one thing they all knew it was that Casey really enjoyed eating. Chuck figured he'd be puggy if he wasn't so active.
"Ellie," Chuck said, "Stop being so motherly. It's making me want to vomit." She arched an eyebrow and was clearly about to say something smart (and boyfriend related), when he pointed at her and warned, "Don't! Don't go there. I mean it."
"Fine…. But-"
"Don't."
"Fine," she gave in. Still, she sat there, desperately trying to hold back a smile.
The others laughed and it gave Chuck as peculiar feeling. Not being sure that he liked it, he munched moodily on a piece of bacon and eyed everyone at the table. Scenes like this always got to him and Casey knew that. As their eyes met, he gave a little tilt of the head just screamed 'just enjoy what we have', before he focused on the food and piled some bacon onto his plate. He then grabbed the syrup and poured some over his waffles. Getting a little on his finger, he licked it off, looking happy and at ease. It left Chuck trying to ignore the pang of longing that had just gotten worse.
After breakfast, they all got dressed. It was Christmas tree day, Ellie had said and as they left the house they were all bundled up to keep warm from the cold.
Also, as they trailed out Chuck noticed that Awesome holding an ax, "Um… aren't we just going to buy one?" he asked.
"We're in a forest… of evergreens. Why would we buy one?" Ellie looked at him like he was crazy.
"Where's your sense of woodmen's ship?" Awesome added and practiced swinging the ax. He was clearly into the whole mountain man thing for the time being.
"Back in LA," he muttered and followed them through he snow, "Don't you think they'll mind us hurting their trees?"
"No. Everyone does this around here. Lighten up, Chuck."
Casey, who was walking next to him, nudged him and teased, "If it makes you feel better, we'll all hold hands and plant a seed." He was laughing and Chuck noticed that Amanda and Ethan were following his example.
"Traitors," he hissed playfully though half heartedly.
Amanda stuck her tongue out of at him and Ethan smiled broadly.
Chuck sighed and gave in. He supposed the trees were being cut down no matter what, so whether it was the sales man or them doing it, it didn't matter.
They spent the next hour tramping about the woods, as Ellie and Awesome debated over what made for the most perfect tree. Awesome liked the ones that were really full, while Ellie preferred the more sparse ones, saying they were better for seeing the decorations.
After some time, Amanda and Ethan got bored and entertained themselves in the snow, while Chuck and Casey looked on both debacles with patience and amusement.
"Don't you miss the days where making snow angels meant hours of fun?"
Casey grunted, "Not really," He paused, "When did you get the chance to make snow angels?"
"Before my mother died. We'd visit our relatives up north. I think that's why Ellie pushed for this so bad. They were good memories."
Casey nodded and Chuck could see him filing that little piece of info away. It was only after Chuck had really gotten to know him, that he realized how closely Casey paid attention and how much he truly cared.
"I admit, I agree with Ellie on this one," he simply said as Ellie and Awesome stomped on by, bickering over two trees.
Chuck huffed, "Sometimes, it still amazes me how much you do the domestic." He was thinking to years back, when Casey was just his hard ass handler.
Casey frowned. He actually looked a little hurt by the statement.
"I mean… I didn't mean…. It's just that sometimes I think back. You know, to the beginning and remember what you were like then and seeing what you are like now."
Casey shrugged and looked out at the scene in front of him. There were many emotions fleeing across his face.
Chuck realized that it was one of those situations were he would have been better off thinking, before he spoke. He had learned, long ago, that he hadn't met Casey at the best time in his life. There had been reasons why Sarah had insisted he was a burnout. He was. He had been slowing withdrawing from a 'human life' and it had only been the Intersect assignment that had saved him. Chuck figured that had a great deal to due with why they were so close. In a way, they had saved one another.
"Sorry." Deciding he had been a downer enough for that day, Chuck turned to him and said brightly, "You think we should help them?"
The corner of his month turned up slightly and he replied, "We'll be here all day if we don't."
With their moods shifted, they went forth and told Ellie and Awesome just what made for a good Christmas tree. Ellie had been really pleased.
When they got back, they had lunch and relaxed a bit. The kids, exhausted from the trip, passed out in their rooms giving the adults quiet time. Chuck embraced said quiet time, by lying on the couch lazily. Awesome, on the other hand, went off and made them some homemade hot chocolate, which he aptly named 'Awesome's awesome hot coco'.
Chuck nearly orgasmed when he tasted it, "Mmm, God Devon, what do you put in this?"
"It's Woodcomb family secret!"
Chuck groaned as he took another sip, it was warm frothy heaven.
Casey looked up from where he and Ellie were making a fire, "Those sounds are downright dirty… give me some!"
Chuck held his cup a little closer to his chest while Devon was his awesome self and ran straight to the kitchen to get him some.
Casey took a sip and grunted, pleased with the offering as well, "Why didn't you wait until the kids woke up to make some?"
"Well," he smiled bashfully. "This batch isn't exactly kid friendly."
"Ah!" Casey pursed his lips and blinked several times, clearly shocked he hadn't tasted the alcohol, "Yeah, last things we need is a drunk seven year old in the house," With that he downed his cup and held it out, "More please."
Awesome gladly applied and they sat about enjoying their extra special hot chocolate. All in all, it was rather cozy.
Their plans for that day were rather simple. To decorate their little 'home' for Christmas. Chuck hadn't done that in years, and he was strangely looking forward to it.
So soon after the kids had woken up, they got on decorating the cabin. Awesome had some kid friendly coco ready for them and Ellie had broken out the wine. Chuck noticed that Casey eyes had a pleased gleam to them after Ellie had approved of the selection. Still, not a word was said about the cost.
It hadn't been long before Ethan had broken two of the decorations and the kids had been set down to 'make Mommy some pictures so she could hang them up'. Amanda smarty didn't buy it, but Ethan happily scribbled away.
Awesome handled the lights, while Ellie fluttered about clearly knowing just where she wanted everything to go. Chuck helped in the small ways, opening boxes and such. Soon a box, far smaller then the rest and neatly tucked away caught his eye. Going over, he opened it. Glancing down, he felt a little overwhelmed at what he saw inside.
"How… when… how did you get a hold of these?" It was a box of decorations they had had when they were children.
"I always had them. I just thought it was time to bring them out again."
Chuck picked up a glass ball and held it up a eye level. It said 'Baby's first Christmas' on it. He had thought these had disappeared long ago, when his mother had left. Gazing up at Ellie, he didn't know what to say. She just nodded, understanding that.
"Yours?" Casey came up behind him and asked, his curiosity clearly peaked.
"Yeah… I can't believe she still has these."
"It's Ellie," he said as though it clearly explained everything.
Chuck supposed maybe it did. She was far more a parent then either of his real parents had ever been. While Chuck hadn't decorated much that day, he now went over to the tree and added the ornaments carefully, making sure they were far out of the reach of the children. When he was done, he stood back, taking in the sight. Even though the tree was unfinished he thought it was the most beautiful tree ever.
It was late by the time they finished. Ellie made a light dinner of sandwiches and they sat back enjoying them, in the living room. The fire was still going and they turned down the lights and lit a few candles so they could truly take in the effect of what they had done. Chuck thought the cabin looked lovely.
They were midway through their meal when Ellie broke out, "Who did that?"
Chuck looked to where she was staring. Someone had decorated the chipmunks in little caroler outfits. He was sure that he had seen the same outfits on little dolls Ellie had out on display the year before.
Casey leaned over and whispered, "I tried to get the little books in their hands, but the damn things wouldn't cooperate."
Chuck nearly choked on what he was eating and put his plate down, covering his month and the smile on it.
Ellie glared at them both, but went on eating her dinner.
Sooner rather then later, it was the kid's bedtime. Ethan took some prodding though, because he was busy laying underneath the tree staring up. From the expression on his face, it was like he thought it was the most fascinating sight in the world. It was only with the promise that his Daddy would read him a story that he agreed to surrender and go to bed.
Since Ellie had made dinner, Chuck agreed to clean up. Just as he was finished, he left the kitchen and bumped into Casey.
"What? I forget something?" He looked over the living room, where Ellie was splayed out on the couch. Everything looked fine to him.
"Na," he said, "Just getting another bottle of wine." There was an all too pleased smirk on his lips.
Chuck narrowed his eyes, but nodded. Earlier he had grudgingly admitted that it was pretty damn good wine, much to Casey's glee.
"Aw, isn't that cute!" Ellie shouted out at them. She was a tad drunk.
They looked over, "What?"
"You guys are standing under the mistletoe!"
They both looked up and Chuck saw that she was right. While still staring at it, Chuck stepped back.
"Aw, don't be like that."
"Ellie, it's a little more then creepy that you want me to kiss Casey in front of you."
"It's not like I'm asking you to have sex in front of me!"
Chuck cringed at the thought.
"It's just my way of saying I'm okay with everything," she explained, looking a bit sad as she did so.
Suddenly, Casey grabbed him and gave him a firm kiss on the lips. Chuck was shocked at first, but quickly relaxed into the kiss, allowing his eyes to close. It was soon over though. When Casey pulled back, he tenderly stroked his cheek with his thumb, gave him another soft kiss, before saying, 'Be right back' and slipping into the kitchen. Chuck stood their like an idiot, before snapping to and sitting back down.
"All I ever wanted for you is to be in love and happy," she slurred out, proving she had had enough to drink that night, "It doesn't matter if you're having butt sex."
Chuck gave her an uneasy smile as Ellie flopped about the coach, in her own happy place.
But as Casey came back, with an opened bottle of wine, Ellie got up and stretched, "Sleepy time," she yawned, before passing by a confused Casey by and patting his arm.
As she slipped into her room, he said, "I thought she wanted more wine?"
"Any more wine and you could convince her to hike naked in the snow."
Casey rolled his eyes, "It's vacation, Chuck. She doesn't get that many chances to relax anymore."
Chuck knew he was right. The kids, on their best days, were a hand full.
He watched as Casey poured two cups of wine, one which he handed to him. As he picked up his own, he gazed at him for a long moment, before lifting up his own glass and saying, "To us."
Not being quite sure how to take that, Chuck clinked his glass against his and slightly took a sip.
Leaning forward, he stared down into the red liquid that he had held between both hands. He felt like the words Casey had just spoken were burning into him. They might not mean anything, he always said and did stuff like that and it was unfair.
"Why did you do that?" he asked at last and glanced up, "You confirmed her belief that we're together."
Casey arched an eyebrow and took another sip, before placing his glass down, "Do we need to discuss this?"
"Yeah," he spat out a bit gruffly, "Yeah we do." He didn't mean to be harsh, but after the last few days, he couldn't handle any more games. Still, he took a deep breath and focused on being more calm.
"I… I couldn't help it."
"You… The master of self denial… couldn't help it?" He downed the rest of his wine and shook his head.
Casey blue eyes dimmed, "This is different."
"How?"
Casey didn't answer a long moment, but when he clearly saw that Chuck wasn't letting him out of this one, he sighed. There was so much emotion in it, so much pain, longing and frustration, that Chuck shuddered.
"We're in love," he answered at last.
"I know. We've both known that forever," It was the most obvious thing in the world and here Casey was saying it like it was some revelation.
His jaw set, Casey bowed his head, "It still doesn't change anything."
"Yeah, it does," Chuck gently touched his face. He could see that Casey's will was breaking. "What changed your mind?" he asked, running his thumb over his cheek.
His body was trembling slightly, but wrapping his arms tightly around himself, he laughed, "Damn holiday is getting under my skin."
Chuck's eyes went wide as he realized that this was the moment, "Good."
Casey gazed up slightly, his blue eyes filled with pain, but hope as well. Leaning forward, Chuck gave him a soft kiss. Casey groaned, pulling him closer to him, deepening it, before snapping to once again and slightly pushing him away.
"Do you really want to wait until we're old and gray?" Chuck whispered when they parted.
"No…" Casey pulled away a bit more and gazed down at the ground for a long minute. Tucking his hands between his legs, he said, "I admit I'm sort of tempted to say, let's just give in for the month, but-"
Chuck huffed and quickly glanced away, "We can't.. I can't-"
Casey gave a sharp nod and held up his hand indicating for him not to go on.
"What are we going to do?" Chuck asked now suddenly unsure.
"I can't run away. I've tired. I can't," He sounded rather angry with himself. Leaning down, he cradled his head in his hands, "When it comes to you, I get damn selfish."
Funny thing was Chuck always saw it as the opposite. Casey staying by him… sacrificing so much to be by him. Running his hand over his leg, he tried to comfort him. Casey grabbed it and then looked at him with an intense expression.
"John, we're killing ourselves here, denying what is going to happen eventually."
Casey grunted and ran his face with his hands, "I hate this emotional shit. I wish I could make it go away."
Chuck thought back to when they first met, "No, you don't."
"I blame this one on you," he laughed bitterly.
Chuck smiled, " Fine."
"I love you and I fucking hate it."
Chuck sensed what was happening, so said nothing and listened. It was rare Casey talked about what he was feeling and no matter what that was, he wanted to hear it.
"I hate it," he went on, "I hate that my loving you can hurt you. I'd rather die. I'd rather not… " he shook his head, "If I was just risking myself I would…. In a moment. I…"
"I know the risks, you know the risks. We'll be careful."
Casey gazed at him and licked his lips, "If they figure it out, I'll retire. Better then being transferred. You'll be alone out there though…."
Chuck's heart stopped as he realized what was happening. He was finally saying yes, "I'll be okay. I had a good teacher."
"I still don't like the idea of someone else out there being responsible for watching your back. It should be me."
"I know."
Snuggling into his side, Chuck rubbed his back. When Casey smiled at him, he couldn't help himself, he leaned in and touched his lips softly to his. It was loving, yet very tentative in nature. They both seemed to be in to much shock, to truly let go. It was followed by another and another, but they just kept looking at one another as though they were afraid the other would disappear or worse, change their mind.
When one kiss ended, Casey finally asked, "Wanna to go to bed?"
"Yeah," he whispered back, kissing him quickly once more and getting up.
Silently, they walked into the bedroom, closing the door softly behind them. Casey sat down and turned on the bedside lamp, before gazing up at him. He was standing there, awkwardly, running his hands over his arms because he didn't know what else to do with them.
"It doesn't have to happen tonight."
"I know," Chuck dropped his head down as he realized he was actually blushing, before boldly looking back up, "But it's not like we haven't done this before."
Casey gave an amused grunt, before giving him a bitter smile and patting the bed next to him. Chuck sat down stiffly next to him and Casey wrapped his arm around his shoulder, pulled him close and kissed him on the side of the head, "I suppose there is something said to giving into the lust of the moment. We've been thinking too much."
Casey then sighed in such a way that Chuck knew he wasn't expecting them to be together tonight, yet was completely fine with this fact.
Sitting there, Chuck took comfort in their one night together. This awkwardness wasn't just them not meshing together sexually. He knew well they were fine in that area. The awkwardness and shyness came from the knowing that it was a new beginning for them. A big moment and Chuck didn't want to let him down. Besides, he had never been with someone before and known that they were absolutely and completely in love with him. He found it shockingly nerve wracking. Still….
Turning towards him, Chuck reached up to cup Casey's jaw with one hand. They both leaned in and kissed, softly once again, but with feeling. Casey wrapped his arms around him, trailing his lingering kisses down Chuck's jaw and to his neck. As he squirmed under the pleasure of loving assault, Chuck had never felt more wanted, anything so right or any happier.
It was so different from the whirlwind of lust they had gone through last time. Everything was taken slow, from the way their hands wandered over one another to the way Casey leisurely unbuttoned his shirt while they kissed.
Soon Casey 's back was against the headboard and Chuck was straddled over his lap, grasping into his shoulders. Both were still trying to kiss the other senseless. In fact, they had been making out for so long that Chuck could barely take it anymore. He trailed his hand down Casey's chest and all too unsubtly slipped it into his boxers. At that moment, Casey pulled away from the kiss.
"I admit I didn't come prepared for this," he panted, staring up into his eyes.
"Neither did I."
It was then that Chuck realized that, before this moment, Casey hadn't thought they'd be taking the full leap tonight.
Casey snickered, 'We are both idiots."
Chuck hummed in agreement, grabbed him by the neck and gave him another kiss.
Leaning his forehead against his, Casey whispered, "You think they'd mind, if we knocked on their door and asked for some lube?"
Chuck choked with laugher, "I think we'll have to do without for tonight."
"Damn," Casey smiled evilly, and slipped his hand down between his legs, brushing it over his erection, like Chuck had done to him earlier, "Other ways to have fun though."
Chuck bucked against his hand, prodding him on, but instead he withdrew it and without notice, flipped Chuck onto his back and climbed over him. Starting at his lips, he began trailing kisses down his body. There was no rush here either, but soon Casey reached the his boxers. As he wrapped his fingers around the rim, Chuck lifted his hips, allowing him to drag then off. Then throwing them aside, he settled himself between his legs.
Chuck smiled and teased, "Right where you belong."
Casey arched an eyebrow, before nipping at his abdomen and muttering seriously, "You're right."
It hadn't been the response he had been expecting, but as Casey took him in hand and gave a few strokes, he paid that no mind. He just squeezed his eyes shut as Casey's wet lips slipped over him.
One thing that clearly hadn't changed from last time was that Casey could really get into giving a blowjob. As he gazed down hazily at his lover sucking him off, he saw that Casey was clearly enjoying himself… a lot. He was grunting, his eyes smiling and he kept looking up at him rather adoringly. Chuck groaned loving it and this man so completely.
Chuck didn't last long and when it had finished, Casey crawled over and kissed him on the lips. They lay there silent a moment, but soon he came out of his haze and he looked over to lover and said, "My turn… or your turn depending how you look at it."
Casey appeared to be a little more then pleased with the thought. Settling on his back, he put his hands behind his head and waited with a smirk on his face.
"You can't possibly expect me to take this seriously when you do that!"
Casey's eyes narrowed and he relaxed some, but he with a jerk of the head he said, "Little less talk, more suck."
Chuck glared at him playfully, before moving himself closer so he could give him the attention he was now wanting. Like Casey had, he took his time and explored. Casey was still wearing his undershirt, but he still ran his hands over it and kissed his chest, before he tugged it up and touched and tasted the skin underneath.
As he did so he muttered, "It's unfair your ass is this old, yet your body this in shape."
Casey grunted, "You really know how to sweet talk a guy, huh?"
"Yeah, Mr. 'Less talk, more suck.'"
"Comment still stands. Suck!"
Chuck didn't follow that command, at least not straight away. He continued exploring his new lover or was it old lover? He wasn't quite sure. He knew him so well, better then pretty much anyone and had loved him for so long, but his body was still new to him.
Casey seemed to be enjoying the attention, but it wasn't long before he glanced up and could see the edge of impatience in his eyes. Lowering his head, he took Casey in his mouth. As he did so, he understood why Casey enjoyed doing this so much.
When they finished, they lay there, Casey's arm wrapped protectively around him. Chuck felt quite a ease, just listening to Casey's breath, when suddenly, Casey laughed.
Chuck turned his head slightly, "What?"
"We didn't even hold out three days."
Chuck smiled, "Did you really think we had a shot?"
Casey pulled him a little bit closer and snuggled into him, "Guess not."
They fell into silence again and as they continued to lay there, a million things ran though Chuck's mind. How if this had been nine years ago, they would have been likely screwing each other brains out yet again, but for now this was nice. They were both content to just lay there and hold the other. How while they were happy, there was a dangerous path ahead of them. And how it was all worth it, for this moment, for those that would come and for not having to wait years until they could share this. And how this Christmas, would be their 'first' really together and how he'd be with Casey just in the way he wanted to be.
Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it. There is one bonus scene to this I'll be posting, but this is the 'end' if you get me.
