Kitty sighed as she trudged listlessly into the Xavier Mansion. Granted, nobody could blame her for being so listless, what with her suffering five concussions--thanks to Lance and his "romantic presents"--but now that she had gone and unleashed her anger on her hapless former boyfriend, Kitty felt...guilty. It was true that Lance had nearly killed her with his so-called gifts, but she had to admit he didn't mean to screw up like he did. And she had probably overreacted in her anger, too, if she had been furious enough to yell at Lance with Wanda right next to him. Kitty sighed, and shouldered out of her backpack, before slowly making the trek upstairs and toward the large room she shared with Rogue. I need a warm bubble bath and some double-fudge ice cream, she thought tiredly to herself. She didn't care that she was about to go on a major piggying-out streak, she had damn near gotten permanent brain damage with Lance's five concussions, and she needed to indulge. And nothing spelled decadence more than chocolate.
Kitty opened the door to her room, and, in her routine sweeping glance, she found a plain white package sitting neatly on the vanity dresser. Her nose scrunched up, as she wondered who could have possibly left it there. Feeling some of her tiredness vanish, Kitty dragged her feet across the soft, thick carpet and toward the dresser, reaching the package and taking it into her hands, examining the delivery for any labels and finding out it was addressed only to the Xavier Institute. Curious, she decided to rip it open, and was surprised and somewhat delighted when she found a CD single inside.
"Gee, I wonder who this is for," Kitty started to wonder...then cringed when she realized it must be another one of Lance's "romantic presents".
"Oh, great," she grumbled. But then again, turning the album over, she didn't see anything that could possibly give her a concussion...unless there was a bumblebee just waiting to zip out from the CD case. Kitty shrugged, before deciding that she could afford to take that risk, and cautiously opened the case, unwittingly breathing a sigh of relief when nothing potentially dangerous flew out. She shrugged again, as she placed the CD into her Walkman and put on the headphones. Kitty waited expectantly for the music to start, and when the intro theme finally began, she leaned back against her bed and listened.
Song lyrics to Bon Jovi's "Always" removed, in accordance with FFN's newest brilliant idea
By the time the song had ended, Kitty had used up every Kleenex in the tissue box. She took a break from bawling her eyes out, before blowing her nose on the last usable piece of powder-pink tissue, all scorns and doubts about Lance's ability to be sweet and romantic every now and then having gone flying away. Her bubble bath and chocolate ice cream forgotten, Kitty quickly got up, placing the CD lovingly back into its case, before running down the stairs, re-energized, to have a talk--and maybe even consider reconciling--with one Brotherhood bad boy.
Ding dong.
Kitty rang the more or less broken doorbell of the Brotherhood boarding house, and waited patiently to be ushered in. A good five minutes had passed, before Wanda impatiently flung the rotting wooden door wide open, demanding grouchily, "What do you want?", as Slayer continued to blare in the background. Kitty leaned back under the sudden assault of loud rock & roll, before blinking away her surprise and asking timidly, "Is...is...is Lance home?" Wanda glared at her, before gruffly spitting out, "He's trying to fix a leak in the ceiling. Why?"
"Oh." A hesitant silence followed, before Kitty finally ventured, "Well, then, is it okay if I come in and talk to him--just briefly?"
Wanda shrugged, sparing one last glare before finally gritting out, "I don't see why not."
Kitty followed the bewitching vixen into the dingy living room, taking in the even rattier condition that the entire house seemed to be in. Case in point: a second, Toad-shaped hole in the wall had joined the first one from a few months earlier. Either way, she wasn't here to critique the Brotherhood's decorum, she was here to talk to Lance, and thank him for his first ever romantic present. Kitty waited patiently as Wanda left, supposedly to fetch the leader of the Brotherhood. Finally, after a good ten minutes, the gothic vamp returned, with Lance at her heels. He seemed a bit surprised to see Kitty there, as, blinking, he asked, "Hi, Kitty. I didn't expect you to get my present so soon, especially since I just sent it out fifteen minutes ago." Kitty smiled, before saying, "That was so sweet of you to send me that." Lance shrugged, still a bit confused, but then grinned as if to say, What the hey, and leaned in to accept the quick hug, courtesy of his supposedly still ex-girlfriend.
"So, where did you get the Bon Jovi single?" Kitty was asking. At this, an adorably clueless expression settled into Lance's chiseled features, as the tall senior wanted to know, "Huh?"
"You know, the Always single," Kitty reminded him. "It's by Bon Jovi, right?"
"What Always single?" Lance wanted to know, sounding completely bewildered by her words. Kitty looked a bit surprised at first, then an affectionate smile danced across her lips as she realized that he must be playing games with her.
"Aw, I know it's from you, silly," Kitty said in a cheerful tone, smiling knowingly. "But if you're going to pretend, then I might as well go along and let you get a listen." And she carefully took out the album single and placed it into her Walkman, before offering the portable CD player to Lance. Lance shrugged, reluctantly accepting the Walkman with the Always single in it and pushing Play. Kitty waited expectantly as Lance listened, eagerly anticipating a reaction.
The reaction that she got wasn't exactly the one she had been expecting, however, when halfway through the song, Lance promptly threw back his head and burst out laughing. Kitty was confused, and just a tad suspicious and offended, as she demanded, "What? What is it? What's so funny?" Lance pushed Stop and pulled off the earphones, still wiping tears of laughter from his face.
"Kitty, sweetheart, you're a great girl and you know that I would do a lot of things to be with you," he began, and had to control himself as another fit of laughter took over him. When he had calmed down, Lance went on.
"However," he added, "there is no freakin' way I would be so stupid as to die for you! I mean, let's face it: who would?"
Kitty's jaw dropped, as she hissed in outrage, "But...but...but...!"
"Now, as for the crying for you part," Lance went on, "I'm not so sure about that. You don't happen to like raw onions, do you?"
A still speechless Kitty wordlessly shook her head, and at that, Lance shrugged again.
"Well, then, I'm sorry, but I guess I can't cry for you, either, if you told me to," he apologized cheerfully, and handed back her CD. "Here's your album back."
By then, Kitty had snapped out of her shocked daze, and angrily snatched her belongings away from her now definitely former boyfriend.
"Argh! I can't believe Jon Bon Jovi could write such a romantic song about lost love when he's already married, and you can't even be more romantic than a desert cactus!" she seethed, bristling. Lance shrugged.
"Well, you know what they say about Italians, they're just so damn romantic," he replied carelessly. "As for me, though, I'm...well, actually, I don't know what I am, but I'm pretty sure I'm at least part Canadian, and you know from that Nickelback video about us Canadian guys: all we do is bitch and moan about how abusive our ex-girlfriends were to us."
Kitty looked like she wanted to slap the living daylights out of him, but one warning glare from Wanda convinced her to do otherwise.
"Grr! I don't know what I ever saw in you, Lance Alvers, or why I thought there could possibly be a second chance for you and me," she bristled, fuming. "But now, I am glad I found Kurt!" And she turned on her heel and stormed out of the humble Brotherhood abode, slamming the door shut behind her and causing another crack in the crumbling wall.
Lance watched after her retreating back, then shrugged, before checking his watch.
"Oh, well," he sighed. He then lit up, as he said, "Hey, at least my real present will be getting to her soon." Turning to Wanda, he asked, "You did say she liked vegetarian pizza, right?"
Wanda nodded. Just then, the phone rang, and she moved to pick it up.
"Lance Alvers, I don't know what the hell you were thinking, sending twenty-five Vegetarian Delight pizzas to our house, but as soon as I see you, I'm going to kill you!" Scott's voice hollered across the receiver. Wanda winced, rubbing her busted eardrum, before handing the phone over to Lance and murmuring, "It's for you."
