- Chapter 3 -

The Survivors

Three days had passed since Minerva's near breakdown, and while the subject had been studiously avoided in each other's company, the matter had been most thoroughly discussed by Hermione and Neville. Neville was very much in favour of inviting Minerva and Filius, Hermione wasn't so sure.

"But how would we run the sessions then, Neville? I only run it because I'm the eldest, but if either of those are in the state that we were at first it wouldn't be at all practical for them to lead!" Hermione ran a hand wearily through her curls. Neville ducked his head sheepishly and looked up through his eyelashes at her. "What don't I know?" Hermione asked candidly.

"Well, we wouldn't have agreed to the eldest being in charge if you weren't the eldest. We'd probably have gone for the most bushy haired, or something." He joked weakly. "You were the only one who could lead us. Who else was there?

"You knew exactly what it was like for all of us. You were the only one who'd be able to reach everyone. To know how Cho was feeling after her time with Macnair, to know what Justin felt when Zach died in front of him, to be scared out of your mind in the middle of the battle. How to deal with curse scars like Luna's…" Neville gently took her hands in his own. "There was nobody else who could do any of that, Hermione. Nobody else that we could ever trust to get us through things. Nobody else Icould trust. Nobody else who would stand up for us. Nobody else who would research therapy like you. There never was any choice about it, you were the only viable option on so many levels, and you still are." Hermione bit her bottom lip.

"So you want me to invite them?" She sighed at Neville's answering nod. "Okay, fine. I'll ask them after the staff meeting this afternoon, but you're coming with me!"

"Of course, milady." Neville mock bowed and stiffly offered his arm. "It's afternoon already, you've worked through lunch again. Staff meeting in twenty minutes." Hermione glared at him as she threaded her arm through his.

"You know Neville, I do wonder if the Sorting Hat shouldn't have placed you in Slytherin, sometimes." Neville merely winked in response, leading her through the castle to the staff room.

Hermione and Neville seated themselves next to Filius at the large table, being among the first to arrive. Gradually the room began to fill with Professors that Filius and Neville introduced Hermione to.

"This is Professor Scamander, Care of Magical Creatures. Neston, I'm proud to introduce my good friend Professor Granger, she's got Defence." Neville began, as the tall wiry man held out a hand for Hermione to shake.

"Pleased to meet you Professor Scamander," Hermione said. "It's an honour, I've read all of your father's books, of course."

"Call me Neston." The man said in a very deep voice. "And the honour is all mine, Professor Granger, the longer I spend at Hogwarts the more war heroes I seem to meet." Hermione blushed prettily.

"And you must call me Hermione." She replied, but before she could say any more, Filius had her by the elbow, and had dragged her across the room to a wide eyed oriental woman in a beautiful blue cloak with embroidered dragons across it.

"Professor Granger, this is Professor Li. Professor Li, Professor Granger." The two women shook hands amicably.

"Call me Hermione," Hermione said. "What are you teaching?"

"Call me Sapphire," Professor Li returned. "Arithmancy and Ancient Runes, though I'm a better Arithmancer than translator, I have my Mastership in Arithmancy. What about yourself?"

"Defence." Hermione said simply. "I love Arithmancy, although I haven't had a chance to use it much since the war. I wonder if you'd mind giving my second years a demonstration of Arithmancy for defensive purposes? I had planned to do so myself, but to have a Master of Arithmancy show them would be amazing."

"We'll run through our schedules together then, perhaps? Find a suitable time and discuss what you'd like for them to see?" Hermione nodded, but had to cut her reply short when Minerva stood at the head of the table.

"After dinner tonight in here, perhaps?" At Sapphire's nod Hermione allowed Filius to propel her back to her seat next to him. All of the other teachers had caught on and were seating themselves too, after a minute or so Minerva began to speak.

"Good day, all," she began, before frowning slightly. "Well, nearly all. I'm sure our illustrious Potions Master will surface at some point." Hermione looked questioningly at Neville, but he shook his head at her and mouthed the word 'later'. "I would like to welcome you to a new school year at Hogwarts. I'm glad to see you all mixing in together well, for those of you that haven't met her, I'd like to introduce our new Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor, Auror Hermione Granger." Hermione smiled, and blushed again, ducking her head slightly. "As we have a new member of staff, I thought it would be pertinent for everyone to introduce themselves. I want you to give your name, the subject you're teaching, how long you've been teaching here and one interesting fact about yourself. I'll start and then we'll go clockwise around the room. Oh, and don't forget your house, if you please.

"My name is Minerva McGonagall, I am headmistress although I have previously taught Transfigurations, I have taught here for forty seven years, and I am an animagus who can transform into a cat. I am also a Gryffindor teacher." Minerva looked pointedly at the dark haired man to her left.

"I'm Maximus Brankovitch," he drawled in an obvious American accent. "I teach Art and Flying Skills, I'm the Head of Slytherin House and my interesting fact is that I was a professional Quidditch Seeker, and captained my own team. I've been here five years."

"My name is Cosette Soin," A pretty fair-haired woman said. "I am also a Slytherin tutor, and I am the Mediwitch here. My interesting fact is that I speak no English at all, this is a translation spell, I am really speaking French. This is my second year."

This trend continued around the entire table, eventually reaching Hermione, who stood, as the others had and began to speak.

"My name is Hermione Granger, I teach Defence Against the Dark Arts, I'm also the Gryffindor Head of House. I was previously a Ministry Auror, but have always wanted to teach."

"Interesting fact!" Minerva commanded from her left. "Before I start talking about your schooldays!"

"I… erm… I…" Hermione sighed dejectedly. "When I and my friends were at Hogwarts, we systematically broke every rule in place at the time, and probably influenced a few of the ones in place now." Hearing a shocked gasp, Hermione turned sympathetically to the Headmistress. "Sorry, Minerva, I guess I didn't really get round to telling you that. Although I am glad that I can't now get detentions for all of those broken rules." Hermione sat down amongst a mostly silent room, although next to her Neville was sniggering, and Maximus, the Slytherin Head was smiling and eying her speculatively.

"Well, after that wonderful revelation," Minerva stood as she began to speak. "We must get down to business…"

- HBP - HBP - HBP - HBP - HBP -

A full hour later Minerva had finished with all business pertaining to the school and had dismissed the majority of the staff. There were only four Professors left in the Staff Room; Minerva, Filius, Neville and Hermione.

"Well, Hermione, Neville, I'm sure you had some ulterior motive in asking Filius and I to stay for tea." Minerva said as she sipped at the aforementioned beverage. "Spit it out, one of you!" Hermione looked helplessly at Neville, who merely grinned and quirked his eyebrow at her slightly.

"Well, Neville and I have a proposal for you," Hermione began. "Every couple of weeks, a few of us get together, and we wanted you two to join us, if you can." Hermione was chewing her lip again, Neville leaned over her to gently tug it out.

"I don't know about Minerva, but I think I would feel bad impeding you youngsters from having your fun. It's very kind of you to invite us, but I doubt we have the same sort of tastes in entertainment…" Filius was interrupted by Hermione's vehement protests.

"No, Filius, it's not like that! We're like a support group for each other. There's not many of us, we usually rent a room from Rosmerta's, or the Hog's Head, and talk about things that nobody else really understands. There's really not many of us, only the six. Me, Neville, Luna, Ginny, Cho and Justin." She explained.

"The survivors…" Filius sat back into his chair, and raised his face to the ceiling. Hermione would have sworn she saw tears glistening in the old Professor's eyes.

"Miss Granger, I can assure you that myself and Filius have been coping well. It has been five years, we have moved on." Professor McGonagall sat stiffly. If she'd been in cat form, Hermione would have bet her back would have been arched.

"Oh Minerva," she said gently. "I don't think we'll ever move on." And then it happened, Minerva crumpled. Her head drooped slightly, and she raised a delicate hand to dab at her eyes.

"We'll come." Filius said decisively. "Just tell us where and when, we can arrange the schedules around the meetings, though we'll have to keep changing the times of things…" He drifted off, not really thinking about patrol schedules but not really thinking about the meetings either. Hermione exchanged nervous glances with Neville.

He opened his mouth to speak to the two elder Professors, but was stopped as the door flew open and a man wearing billowing black robes stormed in.

"What is the meaning of sending house-elves to bring me here, Minerva?" He asked haughtily. "I am perfectly capable of getting myself to the staff meeting. As you can see, most of the staff haven't even arrived yet!"

"Actually, Professor Malfoy, they've been and gone." Neville looked up steadily at the blond man. "It's four thirty now, you're an hour and a half late. I can give you the minutes I took, if you…"

"Oh. Whoops. Thank you, Professor Longbottom." He frowned slightly. "I'd best be off then. I have a potion to finish. If you would be so kind as to copy the notes and bring them at dinner, Professor Longbottom?" Neville nodded slightly, and the other man whirled round and exited the room.

Hermione blinked in shock. Surely that irritable Potions Master couldn't have been Draco Malfoy, the bane of their schooldays? She hadn't even known he'd survived the war. His attitude had been reminiscent of Snape at the height of the Wizarding War, not that of the spoiled brat she was accustomed to. Although, she mused, thebillowingcloakdoessuithimsome.

"Insufferable man," Minerva snapped waspishly at the now-closed door. When Hermione looked back at her, Minerva was as stony faced as ever. "Hermione, if you will inform Filius and I of your meeting times, we will attend. Now, I simply must be off, I have much to do." Filius followed the headmistress as she swept off out of the staffroom.

"At least they're coming," Neville said soothingly, moving to put an arm round his friend. "They can talk through things with all of us."

- HBP - HBP - HBP - HBP - HBP -

They had set the first meeting for the final Saturday before the students would arrive and, due to the fact there were now fourHogwarts Professors involved, they held the meeting in a small room above the Three Broomsticks pub in Hogsmeade. Hermione had sat them all in a circle, and as she struggled to think of the speech she had planned they all stared at her.

"Hey everybody. Seeing as we have two new additions, I want to start by all of us giving the reasons that we're here. Anybody want to go first, or shall I?" Hermione was relieved when Ginny raised a tentative hand.

"I'll go, Hermione," she said, unconsciously straightening her back and raising her chin. "When we first came up with the idea of a support group I was all for it. Because that's what I need, what I've always needed, support. When we were on that battlefield, I was scared, more scared than I've ever been. I nearly died, and when I woke up afterwards and I found out how many people were dead, I wished I had died. I got obsessive over howeverybody died. We all knew what had happened to Harry, to some extent, but nobody could tell me what had happened to Bill, or to Charlie. Nobody could understand what the twins had done, or had been done to them. Since I've been coming here, we decided to launch enquiries into each death. At St. Mungo's we now do autopsies of a sort, and we listed each and every death, and manner of death, for the families. Neville, you next?" Neville nodded.

"I don't know how to say things half as elegantly as Ginny says them, but pretty much everything she said is true for me too. Except that I didn't have to wake up and find out everybody was dead. I was still standing at the end of the battle, and I helped to check all of the bodies for signs of life, and then I helped to move the bodies. I still have nightmares about the faces; little Colin Creevey still had his camera around his neck, Susan and Terry and…" His voice trailed off for a moment, and he took a deep breath. "And my girlfriend, Hannah." Neville sat down abruptly, Luna on his other side taking up the mantle of storyteller.

"Most everyone can see the problem that I've faced." She said, and then smiled slightly. "Or not, thanks to Hermione's help. FiniteIncantem." The perfect porcelain skin on the left side of her face faded away to leave a jagged scar across her cheek. "I like being able to hide it. It's better than it was before, Hermione and Justin helped me to find some Muggle things to help my scar, and I might have Muggle plastic surgery. It seems like such a stupid thing, but it was always a sign of how badly I'd done. Nobody would look at me the same way, I was always the 'real victim' of the war. Like nobody had died, like they weren't the victims. I cope much better with it now though. I'm not sure if I want to get rid of it because it's like a badge of honour, in a way."

"Nobody else really understood why I found it so hard," the voice of Cho Chang filled the silence. "After all, I was barely even in the battle. I was captured, only hours into the fighting. Nobody really knows what Walden Macnair was like. Nobody living spent much time with him. Apart from me. The battle went on for the better part of three days. I was with Macnair for most of that. He… he used… the Imperius curse on me. To make me… do things. And I fought against it as hard as I could, but it took me two whole days to break out. I don't have any scars, and I didn't see anybody fall, but sometimes I think that might have been easier. I hate myself for wishing that, but I do." Ginny, sitting next to Cho, put a comforting arm around the girl, who lay her head on Ginny's shoulder.

"Me next, I guess." Justin jumped to his feet, an easy smile on his face. "Well…"

"Tinny, let it out." Hermione said gently. "It's okay, you're with us. No judging." Justin's smile loosened into a wry grimace.

"You know I hate that name," he pouted. "Just like you know I can't help trying." Justin turned his eyes to the rest of the group. "When I was fighting in the battle, I saw my best friend die in front of me. Die for me. Zach put himself in front of a curse meant for me, and I guess I'm still trying to come to terms with that fact. For a long time after the war, I wouldn't let anyone get close to me, in case they would do what Zach did. I felt like the war was still happening. Sometimes I still do. I wake up at night, and I think I'm waking up on the battlefield again. Hermione can tell you how strongly my place is warded, I'm sure." Everybody looked over at Hermione for confirmation.

"Tighter than the Minister's office. If you ever need the Hogwarts wards tweaked, I'd suggest Justin for the job, Minerva. He has more warding skills than anyone I've ever met." Hermione said with a soft smile. Justin merely smirked at her.

"Apart from the woman who taught me all of the wards, to ease my nightmares." He told the group, who all smiled genuinely, although Neville did roll his eyes at Hermione's blush

"You'd think you'd get used to praise, but you never do, do you?" Hermione just ducked her head to one side, and coloured further.

"It's my turn now, I guess." Hermione avoided Neville's smirk as she stood up. "Part of the reason that I found things difficult after the war was that I didn't expect to survive. After all, who would the Death Eaters curse? Harry? No, he was to be left for Voldemort. Ron? Why harm a Pureblood? What was I? Just the Mudblood bint who was everything that they said I shouldn't be. And then, when the dust settled, I was glorified. We were all glorified, but I've never coped well with attention. I had reporters on my doorstep constantly wanting an interview with me. I was the lover of Harry Potter. I was the lover of Ron Weasley. I was the one who really defeated Voldemort. I was really a Death Eater. There was even one article that claimed I was a House Elf.

"That was a really hard time for me. I think it was a hard time for us all. We just wanted to grieve for everyone we'd lost, yet at the same time we were expected to turn up to balls since Voldemort was dead. There were a lot of men that threw themselves at me. Some of them were nice and kind and handsome and brilliant - but I couldn't even look at any of them, because I knew that all of them were cowards. Neville and Justin were brilliant; they introduced me to people who couldn't have fought. Some were busy protecting their families. One man, a Ministry worker in the Portkey office was sending Portkeys to Muggle-borns. It's still hard though, every time I speak to someone, I want to scream at them, and shout at them. Maybe if they had been there then our friends wouldn't be dead." Hermione sat down slowly, completely aware of Filius and Minerva's nervous glances at each other.

"It's okay, Minerva, Filius. We won't ask you to share this time. We just want you to know that we are here for you, and that we won't judge you. When you're ready to talk, we're here, and chances are that we've felt, or are feeling what you feel." Hermione said gently, looking directly at them. "You are both one of us. You're both survivors."

"Now, who has anything they'd like to say this month?" Hermione turned to the rest of the circle. "Anything gotten better? Anything gotten worse?"