Disclaimer: I don't think I actually have to do this on every chapter, so consider this the last one. Not mine, no money, don't sue, yada yada yada….
A/n: Ok, so there really is no excuse for me not updating in so long. Please forgive me. If I have to beg I will. I've actually become quite good at it because of all the asking for reviews and such. Which brings me to yet another point. Review? Please? I beg of you.
This chapter may not be the best and may possibly be edited in the future when I have more time. But feel free to enjoy it anyway. :D And don't forget to review!!
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Buffy sat on the couch in the living room, ten minutes after her little chat with Dawn, with the phone in one hand and a slip of paper, with a telephone number written neatly on it, in the other. She sighed before dialing the many numbers needed to reach her friend in England.
When the ringing stopped, Buffy heard a sleepy female voice answer, "Hello?"
"Will?"
"Buffy?"
"Yep, it's me." She hadn't talked to Willow much since they had split up – Buffy staying in Rome and Willow going with Giles to England to help set up the new council.
"Oh, my God! How are you?"
Buffy leaned back into the couch. "I've been better."
"What's wrong?" Willow was instantly worried. "It isn't an apocalypse, is it? Or another Andrew incident?"
"No, Will, the world isn't in any more danger than any other day. And Andrew has been behaving. Annoying, the hell out of me, but behaving." She paused. "It's a guy problem. A big one."
"I'll be right there."
Buffy heard a click, and when she looked up from the phone, Willow was standing in her living room.
"God, Will, gimme a heart attack."
"Sorry," Willow replied sheepishly.
"I still find that whole thing a little freaky." Buffy stood to give her friend a hug. "But it does come in handy."
!!
And hour of explaining, seven hours of sleep and three hours of deliberation later, Buffy still hadn't come to a decision.
Dawn had left awhile ago, not bothering to open her sister's bedroom door, and effectively missing the guest on the other side of it, with nothing more than a hollered "I'm gone. Be back later."
Xander had called earlier and given his opinion on the matter as well as his stud status. And Willow had called Giles to tell him where she was and that she might be staying awhile. The call had lasted a rather long while, causing Buffy to wonder if they were placing bets.
!!
Another hour later, the two best friends sat on Buffy's bed. Her room was decorated simply with photos of her friends – her family.
"Have you decided yet?" Willow asked her.
Buffy shook her head silently.
"Have you ever thought about, you know, choosing neither of them?" Willow asked softly. She didn't want to be the bad guy, but she wanted her best friend to know that there were other options, if she so chose them.
"Yes."
"And?" Willow prodded.
"Been there, done that." Buffy looked the redhead straight in the eye, taking comfort in the familiar deep blue orbs. "I gave my heart away, Will. Who am I going to find that won't ask for it?"
Willow didn't answer the rhetorical question. "This is a big decision, Buffy. Do you really think you're giving yourself enough time to choose the man your future depends on?" Willow hated to play devil's advocate, but she wasn't sure she could watch the Slayer's heart break in front of her eyes. Not again. Been there, done that. Hated the rides.
Buffy didn't answer the question. "You know, I gave them both a kiss. Trying to find that thing all the sappy novels talk about. They always say something like, 'She knew he was the one. It was in his kiss,' or, 'His kiss gave her the answers to all of her questions.'"
"And?" Willow nudged.
Buffy looked out the window into the sunshine. "Spike tastes like adventure, risk, excitement. Like love."
Willow waited for more as Buffy turned to look her in the eye.
"Angel tastes like heaven."
Willow smiled knowingly.
"I love Spike. With all my heart. But I gave that to Angel a long time ago. It still belongs to him." Buffy sighed.
Willow gave Buffy her patented Willow 'Are you crazy?' look. "Buffy, it always has."
Buffy smiled. "Yeah, he just put it up on a shelf and didn't do anything with it for five years." Her smile faded as her voice took on a sarcastic tone.
Willow's look was serious. "He didn't want to break it." After a look from Buffy, she quickly amended, "Anymore than he already had."
There was a short deafening silence.
"I still belong to him, Will." She sighed. "I always have."
Willow simply nodded.
"But how do I convince him of that?"
Willow looked thoughtful for a moment. Then, a grin spread across her features. She looked out the window, staring into the day, as she replied, "Kiss him in the sunlight."
Buffy smiled. Will always had the coolest ideas.
More silence.
"So, how many bets are floating around?" Buffy asked.
"None," Willow replied, faking insult.
Buffy raised her eyebrows.
Willow shrugged. "No one wanted to bet against Angel. We all knew it was gonna be him."
More silence.
"So, how long are you gonna make him wait?"
"Awhile. I have a lifetime with him. Right now is about you. I haven't seen you much since you became Ms. Junior Watcher. How are you?" Buffy really did miss Willow, but all she could think about was the feel of Angel's heart beating beneath her hand.
"Go," Willow told her friend.
"What?" Buffy asked.
The redhead put on her resolve face. "I'll be here awhile. Now go. I'm not telling you again." Willow waved her hands, shooing Buffy away.
Buffy leaned across the pillow that separated the two women and gave her best friend a hug. "Thank you," she whispered. "I love you."
Willow pulled away. "What's not to love?"
Buffy flashed her a smile, and, three seconds later, Willow heard the door to the apartment slam.
!!
Dawn moved out of the way as she saw a short blonde flying down the hall. She smiled. "He's by the river!" she yelled at her retreating sister's back.
The young brunette walked into her apartment to find Willow on the couch watching TV. "Willow!" she screamed, dropping her bag.
Willow smiled and turned the TV off. "Hey, Dawnie." She stood up only to come crashing back down by the force of Dawn's hug.
"How are you? How's Giles? How's England? Tell me everything."
Willow smiled. She missed her friends terribly. She positioned herself on the couch after Dawn finally released her. And after filling her lungs with much needed oxygen, began her story.
!!
Buffy walked up to a pale figure in black slacks and a white t-shirt. His trademark duster was hung over the railing of the bridge and his new shades sat firmly on his nose. She stood beside him on the bridge, watching the water flow beneath them.
"Dawn told me I'd find you here," Buffy broke the silence.
"She came by earlier with a boy. Antonio, I think." They had yet to face each other.
"Tony's a good kid. Nice, too."
"The nice ones are the ones you've gotta watch out for," Angel replied, flicking a glance at Buffy from the corner of his eye.
"I've already given him the 'You hurt her, you die' speech."
Silence followed her statement. And then…
"She told me I made you cry. That no one else made you cry."
Buffy looked at him for the first time. "Angel…"
"She said that if I ever made you cry again that she'd torture me in ways that would make Angelus blush."
Buffy took her glance from Angel. She smiled. 'That's my Dawnie,' she thought.
"And you know the scariest part?" He didn't wait for an answer. "I actually believed her." He dropped his head for a moment. "Then she hugged me and told me she loved me. Then she went off with Tony again."
Silence settled between the two again.
"If you choose to be with Spike, I'll leave. I won't bother you anymore."
There was a beat before Buffy burst out in laughter.
Angel turned to her. "What?" he asked.
The look on his face made Buffy laugh harder.
"Buffy, what's so funny? Buffy?"
Buffy's laughter faded after a few moments. She looked at Angel, then up into the blue sky. "You don't get it, do you?" She chuckled. "You never have." She returned her gaze to his dark chocolate brown eyes. "I want you. I've always wanted you." She sighed. "I love Spike," she confessed, "but he isn't the one I want to spend my life with. My abnormal, demon-filled life."
Angel smiled and looked down at his feet. "So, you choose me?"
Buffy lifted his head with a finger under his chin, forcing him to look her in the eye. "I didn't choose you, Angel."
His smile disappeared.
"Destiny did," she finished.
"And Destiny always gets what she wants," he told her, his gaze, once again, falling to her emerald pools.
"Yes. Though the things she does to get what she wants still surprise me."
Angel smiled. Then he grew very serious. Taking Buffy's hands in his, he looked at them, instead of her eyes. "Buffy, are you sure about this? I mean, I know you can't choose both of us, but you can choose neither. Maybe you haven't met Mr. Right yet. Maybe he's still out there, waiting."
Buffy, too, looked down at their entwined hands. "Some things never change." Another small laugh escaped her lips. "I guess there's only one way to convince you." She dropped his hands and shed the barrier that kept his eyes from hers. She placed her free hand on the back of his head and brought their lips together in a passionate kiss.
He wrapped his arms around her, reveling in the moment.
Neither broke away as the sun beat down upon them. Of course, due to the lack of oxygen from both parties, eventually the kiss ended.
"I don't deserve any of this. Most of all you," Angel stated breathlessly.
"Angel…" Buffy started.
But he didn't let her finish. "But luck doesn't always come to the deserving. And when you have luck as good as mine, you don't complain."
Angel pulled something out of his pocket. It was too small for Buffy to see buried in his large hand. "I was either going to give this to you or drop it to the bottom of the ocean. Or, knowing me, keep it to remember the pain." He grinned and opened his hand to reveal a small silver claddagh ring. "It's the same one," he told her, answering her unasked question. "I found it in the mansion when I came back." He paused. He lifted his head, removing his gaze from the ring to look into her eyes. There, he saw pain hidden behind the happiness, blurred by the tears gliding down her cheeks.
Darting his gaze back to the ring, he added, "I mean, after the whole crazed wild animal thing wore off."
Buffy smiled at his attempt to lighten the mood.
"I didn't think it was right to give it back to you when you were with…" Angel paused, trying to keep his jealousy in check, "Scott," he finally managed to get out. "I put it away, and I guess I just…I didn't think I deserved you enough to have you wear a ring telling the world that you belong to me. Not after the things I'd done." The ex-vampire sighed. "I still don't, but I want the world to know you're mine. Well, more so the male population of the world, but…" Angel trailed off. A smile adorned his mouth. He looked the short blonde slayer in the eye as he asked, "Buffy, will you be mine?"
Buffy didn't try to hold back the flood of tears that came to her eyes. "Always," she whispered.
Angel slid the small ring onto her finger, and Buffy noticed for the first time that Angel was wearing his. She took his large hand in her much smaller one and gently kissed the silver ring that adorned his finger.
Angel closed his eyes, savoring the feel of her lips. "What about Spike?" he asked, breaking his own reverie. "Don't you have to tell him?"
Buffy grinned. "He knows. They all know. Even Xander. He told me this morning when he called, and I quote, "Follow your heart. And tell Angel congrats," and then something like "Don't forget to invite me to the wedding."" Buffy smiled, remembering her friend's supportive words. Then her smile faded. "I miss him."
Angel simply nodded. He knew how she felt. He had lost so many of his friends. Doyle, Fred, Wesley, Gunn-who fought to the death in their final battle together-and Cordelia. The woman that-though he tried with all his soul-he simply could not give his heart to. He loved her, much in the same way Buffy loved Spike, but it wasn't true, unbridled, passionate, heartbreaking, can't-live-without-you love. He felt-feels-that way only for Buffy. No one can compare. Not even Darla, though he loved her as well, for reasons yet unknown to him.
"How is Xander?" Angel asked, bringing his thoughts back to the present. "How's his trip going?" Angel, though he didn't know why, was actually interested in the answers. He was never particularly fond of the lad, but he trusted him with Buffy. And though he would never admit to this in any length of his existence, the boy had kind of grown on him.
"He's good. He's hittin' it big with the ladies. Must be those European women." Buffy laughed. "They're loving the pirate look. He's in Germany now for a couple months, as usual. But he promises to stop by and visit when he comes through Italy."
"How long will his European tour last?" Angel asked. Buffy had told him about Xander's whereabouts the night before. She hadn't gone into much detail, only mentioning that he had been to at least seven countries in the last year.
"Until he finds a place to call home." Buffy inhaled a breath of cool air. "You know, if we're going to do this, we need to figure some things out." She looked into the dark eyes of her Angel.
"I know."
"I want to take things slow this time. I know I said I'm ready, but…things are different now." She placed his sunglasses on her head, needing both hands free to take his. "I'm not the only slayer anymore. I have Dawn, and you need to figure out what you being human means." She looked out at the flowing water beneath them. "There's going to be an us, but there has to be a me and a you also."
Angel pulled her body into his own, winding his arms around her, loving how he could feel her heart beat in time with his. "You've really grown up, haven't you? Leaving you was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. But we wouldn't be who we are today if I hadn't. We needed that time to figure out just who we are."
Buffy snuggled into Angel's arms. "Mmm," was her only reply.
They were silent, just enjoying the feel of each other's arms after so long.
A thought occurred to Buffy as she listened to the steady thump of Angel's heart. "You know, now that you're human, your gonna need some essentials. A birth certificate, for one." She grinned up at him.
Angel smiled. "True. But for tonight, all I need is you." He paused. "And maybe some dinner."
Buffy laughed as she took his hand and led him to her car.
!!
"Wow," is all Dawn could get out after Willow had finished her tale. She had relayed the exciting tales of the slayers she had seen in action a well as those she had seen fall.
"Faith has been a big help with the girls. And she hasn't killed or maimed anyone yet!" Willow told the teen with a smile. "But," she continued.
"But?" Dawn urged. "But, what?"
Willow's eyes fell to the couch as she became intensely interested in the color. "She's not enough." The words were spoken quietly.
"What do you mean 'she's not enough'?" The young Summers' eyes were wider than normal as she waited for an answer.
"Giles asked me, rather reluctantly, to talk to Buffy." She looked back up at Dawn. "About maybe helping train the girls."
Dawn inhaled. "You mean in England? With you and Giles?"
Willow nodded.
Dawn screeched-again-as she bounced up and down on the three-cushion sofa like a little girl.
"I thought you'd be upset." Willow was, well, for lack of a better word, surprised, by Dawn's reaction.
"Upset? Why would I be upset? Really, Italy is great and all, but it's just not…" Dawn trailed off, at a loss for the right word.
"Home?" Willow guessed.
Dawn nodded.
There was a small pause. Both women contemplating the crater sized whole that they had once called 'home.'
Dawn's eyes flicked to the clock above the television. "Oh, my, God! Tony!" she yelled.
Willow jumped at the outburst. "Tony?" she asked when her heart had returned to its normal rhythm.
"My boyfriend. I was supposed to meet him half an hour ago, after his class ended." She gave Willow an apologetic look.
"Go," Willow told her sternly.
Dawn smiled and gave the young witch a hug. "You'll be here when I get back, right?"
The redhead nodded. "Yes. I'll be here awhile."
"Great." Dawn grabbed her purse and was out the door with a quick, "Later, Willow."
Willow settled back into the couch and turned the television back on. 'Italian TV. A new and exciting experience,' she thought as she flicked through the channels.
!!
A/n: Just one more little itsy bitsy reminder to please review. And of course, if you find any mistakes, grammar, content, anything, please let me know so I can fix it. I'm kind of anal about that. Thanx!
