Author's note: Tell me, what kind of Mary Sue story would this be without a shameless self-insertion?
23 Nov 08, 0800 hours
Jaws dropped as the new agent was introduced. Male jaws, that is. The female ones set in annoyance. This time, Lincson was wearing a simple red v-necked t-shirt and black leather pants that looked like they'd been painted on. Her silken tail swished slowly from side to side, and several sets of eyes followed the pendulum motion.
"Now, Agent Lincson has been brought fully up to speed on our procedures," Manning said, adjusting his tie as he took his eyes off the tail. "So, starting today, she'll begin full bureau duties with us, including missions."
Liz nudged Hellboy, then stomped on his foot when subtle just didn't work. "Close your mouth, dear," she hissed. His mouth snapped shut, but his eyes remained fixed on the felinoid. Liz remembered how much he adored cats, and wondered just how deep - and how perversely - that affection ran. She elbowed him hard in the ribs.
Nuala sighed a little. The reaction of the males was not the new agent's fault, yet the Elf could not help but feel a slight antagonism regardless. She pushed it away as being an emotion unfit for a princess and took Abe's hand, her mind reaching to touch his, only to find a wall blocking her. She puzzled over it, then realized that it was not intentional, merely an intense focus upon something else. Nuala glanced up at him, her amber eyes narrowing as his fixed stare at the felinoid explained exactly what - and who - her new lover was focused on.
She looked over at Nuada, expecting her twin to be regarding Abe with the full measure of annoyance that Nuala had pushed away, but instead saw that he was enraptured by the new agent too.
The irritation returned in spades bringing with it the beginnings of jealousy, and Nuala pulled her hand out of Abe's with a unladylike phrase muttered under her breath. Liz was close enough to hear it, however, and glanced at the princess with a sympathy and annoyance that mirrored Nuala's own. The princess nodded slightly to the briefing room door, wanting nothing more than to leave the males whose brains had ceased to function. Liz nodded and left Hellboy's side to leave the briefing room with her.
23 Nov 08, 1145 hours
It finally took Manning himself to shoo away the entirety of BPRD's male agents as they crowded around the new agent. True to the warnings in her file, she didn't politely rebuff them, or keep them at a professional distance. His mouth turned downwards in jealous distaste as she took time to touch, or sometimes hug, and speak with each individual agent. There were a fair number of hostile glances passed back and forth as her attention went to a different agent, but clearly she was not leaving the briefing room until she had flirted and purred to every single male agent.
Manning's memory unhelpfully supplied the full complement of the BPRD headquarters: 73 male agents, human; 14 female agents, human; 6 - no 7 - special agents, including a pyrokinetic with a temper, an ectoplasmic scientist, two members of Elven royalty, a fishstick on legs, a demon and... her.
Fortunately, the weirdos had left early. Manning wondered if they were somehow immune to her attraction. The resentful glances from the female agents before they had left had assured him that they wouldn't be overly distracted by Lincson. His mind recalculated the odds: 73 human agents versus 20 human and special agents. This could get ugly quick.
Hence, why he'd stepped in to head off another round of flirtation. "All right," he said irritably, putting a protective -honest!- arm around her satiny shoulders. "Look at yourselves. Is this how government agents conduct themselves in a professional setting? No!" he answered the question quickly. Manning let his glare sweep over the agents, easily cowing the newest ones and eventually making the veterans, like Agent Silver, back down with a hint of shame.
"Agent Lincson has had a long trip, and an even longer orientation. I think it's best if she goes back to her room to rest, or gets something to eat or... or whatever. But I want everyone to be perfectly clear on one thing - life will go on as normal, understand?"
Faint mutters and nods came from the agents. The ones that weren't giving him hostile looks were casting adoring glances at Lincson. She, for her part, met every one with a saucy wink and a come-hither wiggle of her hips. Manning didn't object out of hand, because each wiggle rubbed against his leg.
Oh my God, is that her tail curling around my leg? he wondered, a sudden sweat breaking out on his forehead. He didn't dare look down; the jealous looks of the other agents told him all he needed to know.
The part of him that had earned the position of Assistant Director and the confidence of Washington over and over realized that this was not a good situation. He let go of Agent Lincson reluctantly, patting her shoulder in -he hoped- a paternal manner. "My dear," he said warmly, smiling as she turned those deep crystalline eyes up to him. "I'm sure you're curious about your new home. Feel free to explore, and don't hesitate to contact me if you need help of any kind."
"Thank you," she purred, stepping back and sliding past him to get to the door. He stiffened as he felt her fingers trail across the small of his back as she went. Questionable social interactions indeed. He halted the agents that started after her with an upraised hand. "All right, gentlemen. I think now is an excellent opportunity to review the federal government's sexual harassment policy and the heavy consequences of violating it."
Katya padded down the hallway casually, a sway to her hips that was poetical in its motion. She paused before a placard on the wall showing a sketched internal map of the complex. Her slit pupils flared with interest at the various areas near her room, the light catching in their depths and flashing a deep blue.
"Psst," came a low whisper.
Her silky ear twitched and she rotated her head slowly to follow the sound. Hellboy was peeking out from behind a corner, giving her a grin that was caught halfway between dashing and shy. The stone hand on his right arm came up and beckoned slightly for her to come closer. Gone was the oversized duster; the demon was wearing only a skintight black t-shirt and black leather pants, similarly modified as Katya's in the rear. The horns were freshly sanded down.
Katya smiled warmly at him, and his tail curled at the sight. She padded over to him, swishing her tail as she went. "Agent... Hellboy, if I recall?" she asked in that voice like dark chocolate. She stopped in front of him, close enough that they could feel the heat from each other's bodies.
Hellboy swallowed hard. "That's right, Agent Lincson," he replied.
"Katya, please," she murmured, the final word raising goosebumps on Hellboy's arms.
"Katya," he repeated. His yellow eyes glanced up and down the empty hallway, then he slid his left hand into his pocket. "I've been holding onto this for a while. Never really used it. Well, once or twice. Anyway, I want you to have it." He presented her with a pistol-shaped item.
Her large eyes blinked in some confusion as she looked at it, then glanced back up at him. "Mrrrow?" she churred.
His eyes slid shut at the sound, then snapped open again. "It's a key," he explained, thumbing the "trigger" so that a triangular shaft of metal shot from the end. "Key to my room, in fact. Later tonight?"
The felinoid looked at him slyly, and he felt a rush of heat under his belt. She nodded, reaching up to lazily trace her nails over his chest. "Later tonight," she said, her voice a throaty purr.
"Or..." he muttered as those nails sent shivers along his skin, "...we could go someplace now."
23 Nov 08, 1248 hours
Liz was fuming. In more ways than one. She stalked down the hallway, about halfway through a complete search of the complex to find Hellboy. She'd gone off with Nuala and the two of them had commiserated for a time, but when her lover hadn't shown up right away, Liz had begun to get annoyed.
That had soon bowed out in favor of angry, which had relinquished the stage in favor of truly pissed. He'd better be unconscious or dead somewhere, she thought. Or I am going to-
Exactly what she was going to do suddenly vanished from her mind as she turned a corner towards the gym area and saw her, Agent Slutson, in Hellboy's arms. Liz's mouth fell open in outrage. That's not CPR he's doing!
Looking almost diminutive in the demon's arms, the felinoid was wrapped around him as much as her sinfully flexible limbs would allow, and Liz couldn't quite decide whose tongue was farther down the other's throat. "Red!" she barked, feeling her temper fray and part as flames sprouted around her fingers.
The sharp sound of his nickname brought Hellboy's head up suddenly. He saw Liz, and his eyes widened. He glanced back down at Katya, still rubbing herself against him. "Uh, babe... this isn't what you think?"
"What?" Liz snarled and took a step forward. Fire bloomed along her hands. "Exactly what am I supposed to think you're doing, sweetheart? A redneck tonsillectomy? Maybe you were checking her lungs from the inside? Or maybe you were sucking face with another woman while the mother of your children was watching. Could that be it, my love?"
He looked at her, the seductive kitten in his arms temporarily forgotten in the face of imminent peril. "I'm not going to live through this argument, am I?"
"Not if God has mercy on you," she retorted, closing the distance between them. "You should be running now," she added dangerously.
He ran, dropping the catlike agent to the ground. Katya made a purling sound of protest, then got to her feet with a sigh. She brushed off her bare arms, raking the sable fur back into place. A harsh clearing of a throat made her turn around slowly to face the enraged pyrokinetic, now fully wreathed in flame.
"I can't fry him," Liz said. "But I can fry you!" She reached and grabbed Katya's arms roughly, letting her anger loose to fuel the fire. Flame and concussion billowed around them, blasting the nearby lockers and gym equipment. Metal shrieked and peeled away from the onslaught, the tiled floor blackened and dissolved under their feet. The explosion had happened so quickly, Katya had never had a chance to even pull away.
After a few seconds of Armageddon, the flames died away as Liz stared at the other agent. Unhurt, unsinged, and absolutely untroubled, Katya stared calmly right back. "What the hell?"
Katya shrugged gracefully. "I'm sorry, Agent Sherman," she purred. "I don't get it either. I think Ari used what is called a deus ex machina plot device here."
"If I can't burn you," Liz snapped, "I'll break you." She whirled away and went to an unburnt section of wall where a fire extinguisher sat in ironic and lonely splendor. Tearing it off the brackets, she spun around and hurled it right at Katya's unprotected head.
It bounced off with a clang, and Liz glared at Katya. The felinoid shrugged again, "Sorry, apparently I'm indestructible too. I think that's supposed to make me able to... er, handle larger equipment without injury." She glanced significantly in the direction Hellboy had fled and licked her lips with a bright pink tongue.
Liz turned her anger on a dark-haired figure in the corner, sitting cross-legged on the floor and tapping cheerfully on a laptop. Dressed in a gray sweatshirt, her bare feet poking out of faded jeans, the strange woman frowned slightly at the text on the screen. The tapping paused momentarily as the author pushed up her glasses and considered the next line of dialogue. The frown deepened suddenly as she reread the last few sentences and she slowly raised her head and paled to see Liz staring death at her.
"You..." the pyrokinetic growled. Ari snatched the laptop to her chest and bolted from the room. Liz dashed after her, "Oh, no you don't!" she shouted. "Get back here, you literary sadist!" Streamers of flame and superheated air ribboned back from her lithe form as she chased the author.
