Chapter Three: Cheater's Never Win… Usually?
Kakashi, in an adapted henge of Sukea, found himself sitting on Keira's bed. She was certainly... something ‒ plain, yet kind.
He decided that Keira read like an open book. Everything she did, she would explain to him. Surrounded by the unknown, the kind clarity that she possessed helped him greatly. It was only in moments, such as her telling him that his team "saves the world" and then doesn't explain that further, that he found himself flailing for more information.
A normal, civilian girl was exactly what Kakashi needed.
Although initially it wasn't easy to convince her to help him ‒ especially after he tried to use his Sharingan on her ‒ her knowledge was invaluable, and he was not going to ruin his chance at getting home and discovering the future by torturing her. Besides, he never particularly enjoyed hurting innocents.
Idly, he browsed the books that were on her bookcase and stacked in piles around the room. Kakashi read the summaries of several books he picked up from different piles; the seemingly chaotic mess appeared to be organized by genre.
On the highest shelf of her bookcase, there were a series of books that called to him. He picked up two: Bared to You by Sylvia Day and 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James. Without bothering to read their summaries, he leafed through the slightly worn pages and fell in love.
He giggled.
If he ever got home‒ no, when he got home he would tell Jiraiya all about this. It was unfortunate that he didn't have any of the Icha Icha books with him because Keira would love them.
He had to stop his thought process in its tracks.
Scratch that, Keira wouldn't get to touch his Icha Icha if he had them. They were just too precious, and she was nothing special.
He was going to treat this like a mission. His mission goal was to get home and to do whatever it takes to accomplish that. He had never failed a mission before.
Will sputtered, unable to form a proper defense for Keira's accusation - an utter failure considering his position as a talented criminal defense attorney.
She raised her eyebrows expectantly.
Eventually he found the words, "I am not cheating on you!" A noise that sounded like a stifled giggle came from her bedroom as Will shouted the words; luckily, he didn't seem to hear it.
Anger poisoned Keira's soul. He actually had the audacity to look hurt while lying to her face. What a fiend! Unwittingly however, a tiny spark of hope ignited in her heart that maybe she was wrong.
The mix of emotions left her speechless, so he continued to reprimand her, "How could you think that? I love you! And with Emily? Am I that much of a douche that I would cheat on you with your best friend?"
Doubt sapped away her anger.
He was right. He was so good to her. He was going to help her move Nana. He took off time at the firm. The only times he would get mad at her is if she questioned him, like she was doing right now.
Guilty, she apologized, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have accused you of that."
His demeanor changed, his eyes were proud instead of pained. His smile was cold, covered with a trace of affection.
Will pulled Keira into his arms and kissed her forehead lightly, "What made you think that, K?" His hands traced her back gently, the shadow of a caress.
She gently removed his arms from around her, careful to not push him away too harshly. Sometimes, it seemed like it did not matter what he did, she would always forgive him. He made her feel so small.
Keira grabbed her phone from the kitchen counter. "I saw this this morning," she said, opening her phone to the photo of Will kissing Emily.
She watched his jaw drop and his eyes flicker in recognition, and a piece of her died because she knew that what she had seen had been exactly what it looked like. He cheated on her and lied to her. All of her anger had dissipated already. She felt so small and empty. She was a fool.
"I‒ I‒ I can‒," Will started to say.
Keira waved a hand to stop him, "you can explain?"
Her voice was strangled and unsure yet unbearably calm. "Will. I have loved you for a long time, but there was a time when I did not. I will be fine not loving you again," tears welling up in her eyes and hands shaking, she continued dutifully, "I want to break up because you are cheating on me with Emily." She laughed bitterly, choking halfway through and coughing. "I guess you are that much of a douche."
Tears gathered in Will's eyes, their eye contact held steadfast, not even broken by blinking. Keira's eyes were dry.
A loud giggle broke the tension in the kitchen. The distinct laugh came directly from her bedroom where Kakashi was concealed. She found herself staring at her bedroom door with a blank look on her face.
Brokenhearted to furious in a heartbeat, Will rounded on her, "Oh, so I'm the cheater? Who is in your bedroom, Keira?"
Broken out of her stupor, she turned her eyes to him and said, "A man."
Will grabbed a plate from the countertop and threw it on the floor where it shattered. He shoved her into the living room and threw open the door to her bedroom. She was a statue, frozen where he had pushed her, watching the scene unfold before her.
Kakashi was lying down on her bed, holding her copy of Bared to You above him, and he was giggling like a teenager.
She wanted to shout in appreciation that he was still brunette and did not look like Kakashi Hatake. Unfortunately, Will stole the opportunity from her, "Are you fucking my girlfriend?!"
Keira's jaw dropped open. Is he fucking serious?
Kakashi seemed to be taken aback by this accusation as well, glancing past Will to Keira briefly.
He looked thoughtful for a moment before asking Will, "How could you tell? Is it because I'm on her bed," he gestured to himself lying on her bed. "Was it the book?" Kakashi moved the book closer to Will, giving him a good look at the sex scene he was reading.
If Keira's jaw could drop again, it would have. Did Kakashi just tell Will that we fucked?
Will's hands were shaking in their clenched fists. Kakashi didn't care that he was waving a red flag in front of a bull, "Did you hear us? She was screaming my name all night."
Will had been looking for someone to blame besides himself, and Kakashi opened himself up to the fire.
Will's fist came down hard and fast. If Kakashi was a normal person, and not a fucking ninja, he would have been hurt, but Kakashi was not a normal person, so Will ended up on the ground in less than a second. It was breathtaking and terrifying.
Keira's feet moved on their own, bringing her close enough to watch Will gasp in fear. He was on the ground with Kakashi's pinky finger keeping him down.
"H‒how did you do that?" Will asked, his arms shaking against the floor whether it was from fear of exhaustion was unclear.
Kakashi ignored Will and kept reading Keira's book. Turning an eye to her, he asked, "What do you want me to do with him?"
She responded quietly, "Please don't hurt him. Just let me deal with him." She paused before continuing with a small smile, "Thanks."
Kakashi removed his hand from Will's chest and stood behind Keira, ready to defend her from any physical attacks Will might make.
The atmosphere was heavy with hate. Will glared at Keria, but he made no move to get up from the floor. She couldn't look him in the eye, preferring to observe the walls of her room.
"Who is he, Keira?"
She didn't have enough energy to fight with him anymore. She didn't want to explain herself because she didn't do anything wrong. Kakashi probably shouldn't have told Will that they had sex, but a part of her believed Will deserved it. She wanted him to know exactly how she felt: lost, furious, confused. She wanted him to hurt.
Her normally sunny disposition in the face of aversion was gone. In it's place, a shell of a soul was left. She would be okay one day, but that day was not today. Today, life was fucking her over, and she was going to fuck it right back.
"He is… a man," she paused contemplating if she should continue the cruel thought, "and you are a boy."
She said it to hurt him, and she knew it.
Wordlessly, Will withdrew. His attack stopped if only to put up defenses for his pride. "Fine. I hope you are happy with him," he said, removing himself from the floor and gliding out of the apartment.
Kakashi retreated back into her bedroom and slid the door closed.
Her heart stilled because she never liked hurting people. Instantly regretting her winning move on their chessboard, she whispered, "I hope you are happy with Emily too."
He stopped in front of her door to look at her. "I loved you." A promise. An apology.
"I loved you too." A promise. An ending.
"Goodbye."
He was gone.
Kakashi edged his way out of her room. He had transformed back into his casually cool, grey-haired appearance. Petting her like a dog, he pat her head. "It's okay. He isn't worth crying over now." She had not even realized she had started crying when they said goodbye.
Even though she felt broken in all the wrong places, a weight had lifted off her shoulders. She smiled at Kakashi, and responded joyfully, "Thanks! I know… I do know. I'm just mourning the loss of someone who meant a lot to me for a long time. Please stop petting me!"
He took this as a challenge and kept patting her head as she tried to hit his hands away from her. This resulted in her running away from him all around her small apartment, jumping over tables and books as an attempt to get away. However, she was not a ninja. Instead of jumping over a pile of books on the floor in her bedroom, she ended up sliding into them and tumbled onto the floor.
Kakashi laughed outright. He was obviously still standing, not spilled out onto the floor like she was.
Keira picked up 50 Shades of Grey from where he left it on the bed. She practically shouted at him, "I can not believe that you were reading these!"
Kakashi chuckled. "They were in your room, besides you stole that line from this book," he giggled, shoving the book in her face with his finger pointing to the exact line she used on Will. He is a man, and you are a boy.
She turned bright red and threw the book at him. "So? It's a good line… I didn't mean to hurt him that much. I was just mad, and it just came out."
She was lying to Kakashi and herself. She had meant to hurt him, but that didn't fit her "good girl" persona. She normally wore the nomenclature like a necklace, but recently the reputation didn't fit. It left her feeling a little lost when she extended her character past those boundaries.
"Sometimes we say things that we don't mean and even regret later in life, but it still happened." She wasn't really sure how that advice fit this situation, but Kakashi seemed thoughtful. Instead of questioning it, she ignored it.
She wiped away the tear streaks from her cheeks, and asked, "Do you want to go shopping?"
He merely raised his visible eyebrow in question.
"You will need more clothes than just," she gestured to his outfit, "that. Also, you need to blend in here. We can't have everyone freak out like Wyatt did in the hallway."
He nodded, and Keira went back to her room to get changed. Several minutes later they were on their way to Target on Mass. Ave.
Keira held up a red deodorant stick up for Kakashi to smell. He had transformed back into Sukea ‒ without the purple markings ‒ when they left the apartment because Keira insisted that he would attract way too much attention otherwise.
"I don't like the name of this one, but it smells really good," she said. She was right. It did smell good, but it smelled strongly which Kakashi could not tolerate with his sensitive nose. She continued, "Do you sweat?"
He looked at her in shock and a little disdain. "Yes, I sweat. Why would you think that I don't?"
Shrugging, she replied disinterestedly, "Well, Naruto never showed you sweat. You would always wear clothes that covered your entire body too. I remember, in one fight, you lost the green jacket and the internet went crazy."
He was probably never going to get used to the fact that a show about his students' lives is called Naruto.
Ignoring the question of what exactly was the internet, he asked the more pertinent question to his life, "What fight?"
"Um, it was against this really strong bad guy. He was like immortal or something," she gave him a big smile and continued, "but you won."
He smiled, but it ended up looking more like a grimace. Him fighting an immortal did not sound good. Instead of responding, he grabbed an unscented stick of deodorant and threw it in the basket.
"Okay. That should be it, I think. Let's go pay."
They walked back to her apartment building. Kakashi held the bags. She didn't know why he wanted to, but he had insisted.
He was enthralled by the sprawling city that surrounded them. No words were exchanged as he observed their surroundings, and Keira observed him.
"KEIRA!" a voice shouted from in front of her building. Keira squinted and saw Wyatt wildly waving his arms in the air. Behind him, there were several men in dark suits and two men in white lab coats walking into her building.
"What's going on?" she asked when they got closer, gesturing to the entourage that was invading her home.
Wyatt was smiling and gesturing excitedly. She would never understand how Wyatt always had so much energy. "Apparently, there was some weird energy fluctuation in Boston. This scientist at MIT was measuring something, and it just went off-the-chain this morning for like ten minutes! Now, the FBI is working with the scientists to find out what happened. It's so cool!"
Keeping an outwardly cool appearance, Keira just about died on the inside. Immediately, she knew that that "weird energy fluctuation" was Kakashi.
Today just is not my day.
On one hand, she promised to help Kakashi. On the other hand, if the FBI were involved then it was really serious. Both parties in her internal pros-and-cons list could easily kill her. The smart thing to do would be to tell the FBI… unless they thought that she had something to do with the energy fluctuation and assumed she was trying to do something bad and was therefore a national security threat. If she didn't tell the FBI and helped Kakashi, then she could get him home somehow and get back to her life.
She was about to make a very stupid decision.
She was so going to end up dead.
"Joe," she addressed Kakashi, "stay here with Wyatt while I go check on my apartment."
Unlike when she was anxious earlier, now she was calm. This was exactly like work. She could emotionally detach herself from the situation and easily ignore any alarm bells blaring in her head if needed.
She heard Kakashi say, "Yo," and Wyatt asking Kakashi, "So, your name is Joe," in the background, as she asked the man in black to let her inside.
When she was inside, another man in black looked her up and down, using his whole head to do so. She couldn't see his eyes behind the dark sunglasses he wore, and his face remained stoic.
"What are you doing in here?"
She widened her eyes to give off a doe like appearance, mimicking innocence. "Oh, um, the man outside said that I could go up to my apartment. I have to read a textbook for school, so I need to grab that."
She shouldn't have told him she was going to take anything out of her apartment. Instead of assuming her innocence for her disclosure, he looked ready to place her under arrest.
"Do you have your ID on you?"
"Yeah," she opened her wallet and handed him her ID, "here you go."
He studied it briefly, and then he let her go, ominously telling her, "I'll remember you."
Stumbling a bit over her words, she responded, "Um, t‒thank you?"
Using the stairs instead of the elevator, she fast-walked to her apartment. The people investigating the building were still on the first floor, so she had a little time.
She grabbed a backpack, her computer, some clothes, a medical textbook, and a few other necessities. Taking the stairs again, she made her way down to the garage and started up her car.
"Joe, get in. Everything's A-okay. We are going to lunch," she called out as she was leaving the garage, "Wyatt, you can come too if you want."
Wyatt waved off her invitation. "No thanks. I'm going to stay here and wait for updates."
Throwing the bags in the backseat, Kakashi got in the car.
"Really? Joe?" he asked as they pulled out onto the road.
For some reason, the adrenaline of half-lying to the FBI hit her now. Her hands were clammy, and her voice was shaking as she breathed out, "Sorry! It was the first name I could think of."
He poofed back into Kakashi. "It's okay." He crinkled his eye at her in a smile.
Keira had to remind herself he was a trained killer whenever he gave her one of those smiles. It didn't help that she associated him with being a father figure and moral guide in Naruto. Overall, having Kakashi around was surreal.
She pulled up to a pizza place, and Kakashi asked, "Who were those men?"
"Well, there were a few scientists and some government agents. I think they were investigating you and your appearance here." She didn't look at him.
He didn't look at her. "What did you tell them?"
"Nothing. I promised I would help you."
"Would they not help me?"
"They would probably take you to a secure location where they would run tests on you, and because you appeared in my apartment, they would probably put me in prison. I don't really know what would happen, but the worst case scenario would probably be us both dying after interrogation."
He turned to face her. "What happens if they find out you're hiding information?"
In a quiet voice, she said, "I don't know, but I don't think it will be good."
The longer Keira thought about it, the more she regretted her decision. Originally, she was planning on leaving town with Kakashi, but now she all she wanted was to go back to the apartment complex and tell them everything she knew. It's better to tell them than to get caught by them later.
"Do you know why my Sharingan didn't work on you?"
She finally looked at him. "No. Do you know why?"
"No, but let's see if it works on other people in this world."
Following his train of thought, her face broke into a smile. "If it works on people in this world, then we could use it to get out of trouble!" He managed to wash away her worries at least for the moment.
He nodded. Before he could open the car door, she reached into the shopping bags and grabbed an eye patch, a medical face mask, and shoes. He eyed them warily, "Can't I just transform into 'Joe' again?"
"Ugh, fine! But, you're going to have to stop cheating with jutsu one day." For a second, he looked younger than 27, mischievous and cunning. Then, the moment was gone, and he transformed into Joe.
They got out of the car, and she followed him into the restaurant. He held the door open for her like a traditional gentleman; she thanked him with a smile and a wink. She missed his blush.
The air felt lighter bathed in florescent light and the smell of dough. The blonde stationed at the cash register smiled at them and said hi.
Kakashi's eyes were big. He leaned over to whisper in her ear, "What is this stuff?"
A shiver ran down her spine as his hot breath ran down her neck. Tuning out her body's response to his low voice, she probed, "You've never had pizza before?"
"What's pizza?"
"OH MY GOODNESS!" Keira bounded up to the cashier whose eyes were tracing Kakashi's figure up and down. She gestured fervently at Kakashi, "He has never had pizza! Please give me two slices of cheese." Turning back to Kakashi, "We might be here for a while. You're going to start with a classic slice of cheese pizza, and then you'll try as many different types as possible."
Despite it being unhealthy, pizza was amazing. The cheesy dish might even rank as one of his favorite meals alongside miso soup with eggplant and broiled saury with salt. Kakashi ended up eating a slice of everything they had on the menu. Keira had gagged when he announced eggplant pizza, the special of the day, was his favorite. Apparently, she was not a big fan of eggplant.
Sitting in Keira's car, he basked in her awe at his eating ability. He would have to thank Gai for all the eating competitions because he was able to eat more pizza without feeling sick.
They were heading back to her apartment to see if the government agents found anything. While they were eating lunch, they discussed the benefits of skipping town and going back.
Once Kakashi put Michelle ‒ the cashier at the pizza place ‒ under a light genjutsu successfully, Keira insisted that they go back to find out what exactly the scientists discovered about the strange energy because it might help Kakashi get home. Kakashi suspected that Keira was afraid of the repercussions of running from the government, and he wanted to know why.
Kakashi still looked like Joe. He was taken aback by how high his chakra levels were. He had been holding a transformation jutsu for several hours now and employing his Sharingan to cast light genjutsu, and his levels were higher than they normally were when he was fully rested.
The men were still standing outside the door to her apartment building.
Leaving the shopping bags and her backpack in the trunk, they walked inside.
As expected, there was a scientist stationed in the hallway on the third floor along with two bodyguards. He was furiously clicking away at a laptop.
Keira took the lead, greeting them and asking, "Did you figure out what caused the energy thingy?"
Kakashi saw the twitch of a jaw and the tightening of a fist, the guards were apprehensive to this line of questioning. Keira probably didn't even notice.
He wanted to tell Keira to stop asking about their investigation because it would make them seem more suspicious, but he had no way of letting her know.
Luckily, the scientist had no problems telling them everything. "Well, earlier there was a sudden influx of casimir energy in this area. I wouldn't have even noticed if I wasn't working with this silicon chip specifically designed to measure it. But, I spent the morning chasing the energy, and it seems to be intermittently fluctuating in this building!"
"What's casimir energy?" Keira asked, tilting her head to one side.
Again, the scientist was more than happy to oblige with answers. "Casimir energy is the energy produced by the Casimir-Polder force which are physical forces from a quantified field."
Kakashi might be a genius, but he had never heard of this stuff before. Keira looked equally confused.
"What is a quantified‒"
She was cut off by one of the body guards who interjected, "No more questions."
"Um… okay. Well, good luck figuring it out." Keira pulled back, and grabbed Kakashi's hand, intertwining them. She pulled him to her apartment. He released the transformation jutsu.
With her free hand, she pulled out her phone and typed "Casimir energy" into something.
Kakashi eyed their entwined hands. She had a soft pink nail polish on, and her fingers were pretty and long with few callouses.
Interrupting his thinking, she cried out, "this doesn't make any sense! I mean there is like one theory about how we can use Casimir forces to stabilize wormholes which could relate to you… but wormholes could only theoretically travel through space and time in this universe, and you came from somewhere else! Argh! What is 'exotic matter'?!"
She let go of his hand roughly. He stared at his lone hand like it was an alien.
Closing her eyes and breathing deeply through her nose, she reasoned mostly to herself, "But, this is good. They can't think we had anything to do with it because these forces can't just be made. We are both smart. We can use this information to help get you home."
She muttered to herself, "I wish I majored in Physics instead of Microbiology and Environmental Science."
Even though Keira seemed confused by the physics she was looking at on her phone, she gave off an aura of intellect. Kakashi watched her pace the living room, muttering to herself.
He needed more information. "Can you tell me about your world?"
"Yes. You need to know more to blend in here. You might be here for longer than we wanted because this wormhole theory might take a while to figure out."
"Can we ask that scientist for help? He seemed well-versed in the science behind what brought me here."
"It doesn't matter how well-versed he is. If they find out where you came from, you will be tested on and locked away forever. And before you suggest casting a genjutsu on him, he will probably be guarded 24/7. As much fun as it would be to put federal agents under your hypnosis, it is way too dangerous."
Kakashi nodded, and Keira continued, "Besides, we are both smart. We can figure it out, and maybe we can talk to other scientists to get more information. It's better to avoid the FBI if you want to live."
"What is the FBI?"
"Well, FBI stands for the Federal Bureau of Investigation. It's a government agency that works on domestic investigations."
He looked at her blankly. She opened her phone again. This time she searched "history of the world" and clicked on a video.
As is loaded, she said, "This is an introduction of the history of the world. After this we can talk about more specifics about America."
The fast-paced narration and flashes of color gave Kakashi headache, and he had more questions after watching it.
"Maa, that doesn't explain what the FBI is," he complained lazily, "How big is your world?"
"Uhhh… population wise, there are more than 7 billion. I think, now, we are up to like 7.3 or 7.4 billion people. But size wise, I'm not sure. The diameter of the Earth is 7,917.5 miles. I don't what that is in kilometers."
Kakashi was half-tempted to ask Keira for one of those pills she used earlier to help her calm down. He was stranded in a huge world that was vastly different from his own. The feeling of displacement would never go away.
Keira continued to talk, "We are also way more advanced than your world. We can't use chakra, hell I didn't even know it existed in this world until you came along, so we created things. Like the video said, during the cold war ‒ the one between the US and Russia ‒ neither side attacked because if we started a total war it would result in the end of humanity. Maybe the end of all life on Earth."
"You're too technically advanced." He wanted to tell her that they were lucky they didn't have any wars recently, but war here was probably very different from his world.
"Yes, we are. We don't even fully utilize our technology! We could do so much more," she exclaimed. They had migrated onto the couch in the living room, and she turned on the TV to a channel playing War Dogs and relaxed into the couch.
Kakashi watched the movie fervidly. The people in the movie had guns. It was so different from Konoha.
Keira began nodding off. Before falling asleep completely, she mumbled, "Tomorrow we are going to head south. I have to go help my grandma move to an assisted living facility, and you're coming with me."
Kakashi didn't know how he felt about her devotion to his cause.
Author's Note:
Thanks for reading! Please leave a review with your thoughts. What do you think is going to happen next? (Or what do you want to happen?)
Do you want me to describe Keira's physic more? Right now I've only said that she has brown hair because I kind of wanted you to see whoever you want in your head. (It's what's on the inside that counts, right?)
I am by no means a physicist! This stuff was all googled, and I forced it to work for this scenario.
There will not be an overdose of angst for this fic, btw. There are plenty of great angsty fics with Kakashi out there, but he needs some happiness. There will be lots of obstacles, so many, but there will be no unbearable dread between them that is the only thing keeping them apart and emotionally confused.
Also, you don't have to remember any of the OCs besides Keira. I'll give em a character refresher if I use them again in the story.
Will is a psychologically manipulative boyfriend. This juxtaposes with Kakashi lowkey trying to emotionally manipulate Keira because of how it ends up reflecting on Will and Kakashi as characters. We will see Kakashi's 'emotional manipulation' develop throughout the story.
The books are real, but not all of the quotes I used are real. The history of the entire world, i guess by bill wurtz is the video I was thinking Keira showed Kakashi. It went viral a while ago, but it's still awesome and educational. The red deodorant is Old Spice's Swagger one.
Guest (Ana): Kakashi is trying to befriend her right now, so he is pretty much going along with whatever she wants. He needs her more than she needs him for now at least. Keira is kind (wink wink for the future of this story).
