LEGAL DRUG (GOHOU DRUG) FANFIC
Title: Sanguine
Written By: RinoaDestiny (Ann Koo)
CHAPTER 3
Rikuo woke up around seven. It didn't matter that those green eyes beheld him with apprehension and fright – at least they were open and staring at him. Closing the window to cut off the flow of icy wind, Kazahaya returned his gaze to that of the taller male. Seven o'clock, with the winter night blackening the panes of glass and it was only the day after Christmas.
He would never forget this day, or the time.
"Rikuo. It's me, Kazahaya." Slowly, he turned his steps towards the bed that used to hold a large, compact, and muscular body. Now, with the white sheets slipping off pallid flesh and the starkness of bandages, the bed seemed to swallow Rikuo's frail frame whole. Black hair slipped into panicked pools that begged him not to approach, but he did. That pale mouth, cracked and only recently wetted with water, worked soundlessly in silent protest. Splinted fingers on one hand waved stiffly, while the other arm lay limply upon wrinkled fabric. As he drew nearer, Rikuo shrank against the wall, shriveling into himself.
The sight was painful to see.
"Don't you recognize me?" A glimmer of fear into emerald, and the corner hugged the boy's trembling body as bony knees jammed into a scrawny chest. The mattress whined softly as he sat, gazing in pity and sadness at what Rikuo had become. Kazahaya wanted nothing more than to reach out, touch him, and reassure him that things were going to be all right. He remembered how gently Kakei-san smoothed back those dark locks, yet he could not bring himself to do so. It wasn't time for him to dig into Rikuo's shattered psyche, yet.
Not just yet.
"You must be hungry," he continued. As scared as Rikuo looked, he must've been longing for food and water; Kazahaya swore he could see bones through Rikuo's arms. Whatever had happened must've been terribly traumatic to silence him this effectively. It would also be the probable cause to the tight sheen of drawn skin and the beaded sweat glistening on his face. "Rikuo, I know you can't talk but would you like some food? I can get some for you – it'll just be a minute."
A visible shake of the head. No. No.
As luck would have it, Kazahaya thought glumly. Kakei-san and Saiga-san would still be sleeping – most likely cuddled together – and here he was, feeling all in the world like he was trapping Rikuo with his presence. He dared not leave him but he didn't want to be the one giving Rikuo a third trip into whatever hellish nightmare he'd been through. In the soft glow of the mini-desk lamp he'd placed on Rikuo's nightstand a few hours ago, the dark bruises were more starkly apparent. Rikuo's cheekbone was one patch of black, nearly swelling the bottom lid of his eye. His lip was torn. Marks clustered on his neck, as if someone tried to strangle him.
Who in the world would want Rikuo Himura dead?
Tsukiko. She had to be one of the reasons why Rikuo was like this. She had to be the key in this whole bizarre mystery. And the damnable thing about that was he didn't know how she fitted into it all. Still, it was a beginning to unraveling the events surrounding his damaged partner in psychic assignments.
Kazahaya sighed.
"It's five minutes after seven, Rikuo. It's night time, after Christmas, and you're sitting in Green Drugstore. I'm Kazahaya – you know, the one you often mock and save over and over again? The pristine virgin, so you've called me. The innocent princess. I'll be the one taking care of you until Kakei-san and Saiga-san wake up. You remember them, don't you?"
Silence.
This wasn't working. Kazahaya clenched his fingers together, ignoring the bite of his nails. He wanted to lash out and hit something. He had never been so useless, so unable to deal with something by himself. That frustrated him to the point of anger. There was nothing he could do until Rikuo stopped staring at him, regained his voice, and decided to tell all. If he ever decided to talk again. The implications should he not were sobering. Kazahaya didn't wish to dwell on them. "I won't hurt you. Please, Rikuo – trust me."
Nothing.
There was no response, no reaction. Blank. It was as if Rikuo didn't exist.
The thought unnerved Kazahaya. To have him back, and yet, to lose him. From that revelation burned rage, mingled with the faintest touch of desperation and longing. The words were carelessly flung out, before he could take them back. "Bastard! How dare you sit there, looking at me like that? Do you know how worried I was about you when you just up and left? Kakei-san told me you were all right, and then we found you yesterday. Does that bring back any memories? Do you remember saving me?" The fact that Rikuo, even detached, goaded him increased that ache. "You saved me, and I want to save you. But I can't do that when you don't even recognize me!"
If he still believed in the ancient gods of his ancestors, he would've stricken his tongue off as penance and begged them for their blessing. Kazahaya remembered being furious, blowing his cool simply due to Rikuo's smugness. However, Rikuo was no longer the same; neither was he. He had lost his temper over his own pettiness, leaving behind quite an unfriendly impression. Afraid of how Rikuo was going to react – please don't fear me, he wanted to say – it took sheer willpower to look him in the face.
There was silence, interrupted in his mind by the thumping of his heart.
What he saw next almost broke it.
Rikuo was crying. The boy's face was turned aside but the gleam of tears was unmistakable. Dammit! He couldn't just sit here, with the mattress sinking beneath him while Rikuo became a shadow of himself. Kazahaya nearly palmed himself in the face. You idiot, he thought contemptuously. He's already far from being the guy you once knew. Unwilling to remain frozen in place, he scooted closer. Gray upon white as the shadows fell, and those pale eyes flicked tiredly towards him. There was anguish, terror, and mistrust – most of them banked by the deep exhaustion he could see etched in Rikuo's posture. There was also a sign of recognition.
And then, he spoke.
Having practiced the art of lip-reading from Kei, Kazahaya felt the broken pieces of his heart collect themselves before jolting around painfully in his chest. Rikuo had said his name. Four syllables, one for every katakana and hiragana symbol out there. All four of them, combined with his specific kanji, created his name. Only his parents and Kei had ever said it so lovingly. Now, watching Rikuo's lips move, intensified by that questioning expression, Kazahaya dared not hope. He was being asked his name; it was tantamount to Rikuo placing his welfare and trust into his hands.
He wondered if Kakei-san knew this would be the outcome.
Undoubtedly, he did.
"Ka-za-ha-ya?" Again, Kazahaya read his name, speaking it out loud this time. He desperately longed to cry. This shouldn't be affecting him so but it was. "Yeah, Rikuo. It's me, Kazahaya."
Dark lashes momentarily obscured those hurting mirrors from which the fairer-haired boy could see himself. When they revealed themselves, jade to lime, and both of them eye-to-eye, some weight appeared to have settled within Rikuo. Kazahaya could see the heaviness clouding his face, drawing a gray cast over his gaunt features. The guy that used to throw off all forms of stress, shrugging aside his discomfort with pithy statements, now had nothing to say. The hurt within was too strong, too cutting to be simply discarded.
And most, if not all, probably narrowed down to that girl.
Tsukiko.
Another word, hanging soundlessly in space. "Midori?" Rikuo had asked. Kazahaya nodded, pointing downstairs to what would be the shop. It was closed today because of Rikuo. "Green Drugstore, Rikuo. Why did you ask that?"
A shake of the head. Whatever it was, his partner wasn't ready to state it, yet.
Kazahaya shook his head; bits of brown hair scattered and slid lazily into his eyes. Ignoring them, he slid off the bed, ready to leave. He couldn't sleep in Rikuo's, let alone experience the nightmares from such contact. He was bone-tired from playing nurse all day – gods knew he needed some quiet time. Perhaps if his bosses were awake, he could let them replace him. He couldn't even touch Rikuo, for fear of receiving his inner trauma. Kakei-san had explicitly warned him against that.
It was the sudden sharp squeak of the bed that halted his steps. "Rikuo?"
"Don't leave me."
His throat constricted, and Kazahaya knew he was on the verge of tears. Lip-reading had never induced him to this before. Why was he feeling this way, and how come Rikuo was the one causing it? If someone told him a few months ago that he would miss Rikuo, he would've thrown one hell of a ruckus. Not anymore. It should've been him lying there, weak and forlorn, depending on Rikuo. He was the dumb one, after all. Rikuo said so. But he wasn't the one that ran into the night, disappeared for weeks, and then reappeared in a bloodied and frozen heap on the freshly-fallen snow.
The world was a cruel place, and Rikuo had tangled with it and lost.
He needed Rikuo but Rikuo needed him more. That was the harsh truth – nothing he said or did could deny that. Nothing Rikuo did could negate it. Kakei-san was right. Despite how they were before this happened, they had both changed. And seeing that clearly, recognizing the situation like when Rikuo finally noticed him not as a stranger but as a friend, Kazahaya could only do his part.
Dragging his chair closer to the bed, he sat and smiled. Smiled and yearned to cry.
"No, Rikuo. I won't."
Author's Notes
Thank you readers for all of the comments, the watches, and the favs. smiles It is a pleasure to be able to join the Gohou/Legal Drug fanfic community, and I hope I can continue to do so. After all, when CLAMP gives us two perfectly funny, argumentative, and slashy characters such as Rikuo and Kazahaya, something must be done. I just wish the elusive Vol. 4 gets over here. I want more scenes like the chocolate scene, damn it! That was surprisingly hilarious and hot!
RD
