Chapter three! Sorry about being gone, my muses haven't quite returned to me yet.

So lets get smurfin'!

Hefty, Brainy, Clumsy, Grouchy, Smurfette and the Smurflings belong to Peyo

Chapter name reference: Still obvious but I made so that it can come off as dirty because... I am evil and have a twisted sense of humor that pops up from time to time.


Chapter 2: Smurf the Whole Night Long

Now, hours later, outside of the ocean and deep into the forest, a few Smurfs were out camping. Like the Snorks, the Smurfs came a long way from those dark ages, too. But unlike the Snorks who since developed more of a progressive humanlike lifestyle for this time period, the Smurfs prefer more of a simplistic village lifestyle. Today's Smurfs tend to prefer being peaceful creatures and succeed at it. most of the time. But at least, it never got as bad as back in the war.

The group consisted of Hefty Smurf, the heart-tattooed strongsmurf, Brainy Smurf, the bespectacled village intellectual, Clumsy Smurf, the klutzy sweetie, Grouchy Smurf, the curmudgeon with a hidden heart of gold, Smurfette, formerly the only female Smurf. and the Smurflings: Natural or Nat for short, Slouchy, Snappy, and Sassette. They all sat by the campfire, roasting marshmallows while listening to Slouchy finish his story.

"And that, my fellow Smurfs was the end of the Scissor Man," finished the sleepy-eyed Smurfling in the red shirt, calming smiling as he noticed his companions' expressions, "The end." Most of the Smurfs were visibly disturbed by the story but it wasn't as bad as Brainy hiding behind one of the logs some of the Smurfs were sitting. Blinking, Slouchy asked, "Did I not do it right?"

"No, you did well," said Hefty, clearing his throat, "Too well." Every smurf nodded in agreement just as Brainy managed to compose himself, saying, "That wasn't so scary, everyone knows that scissors don't exist."

All the Smurfs just looked at Brainy, very deadpan in response as they all asked about scissors.

"If scissors didn't exist, then how does Tailor cut cloth?"

"Brainy, how does Barber Smurf cut my hair if there are no scissors?"

"Jumpin' Jackrabbits! If scissors don't exist, then how in the smurf am I supposed to make my arts and crafts?"

"Gosh, Brainy, if scissors don't exist, then how would those wartmongers clip Pussywillow Pixies' wings?"

"If scissors don't exist, then... what are we talking about?"

And of course, Grouchy had this gem: "I hate scissors!" then crossed his arms with a small but noticeable smirk, adding, "Well, I would if they existed."

By then, Brainy had enough of this. "Oh fine, but when Papa Smurf hears about this-" he said but got cut off by Hefty asking, "Then what?", raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, Brainy," asked Sassette, "Then what?" with the other Smurfs nodding in agreement, all wanting to know.

"You know what?" Brainy asked, "I'm going to smurf up the scariest story that I, Brainy Smurf, can think up," then got into his fellow Smurfs' face as he added, "And let's see if you can smurf it."

The others were... less than impressed. Snappy, the smurfing chock full of attitude, wearing a yellow shirt with a storm cloud on it to distinguish himself from the rest of the Smurfs, sarcastically said, raising his hands up in a mock-defensive gesture, "Oh smurfaroo. A Brainy Smurf story, you just know this going to be real smurfy." Hefty laughed, agreeing with him, "You said it."

Grouchy then shouted, "I hate Brainy Smurf stories!" keeping his arms crossed.

Smurfette then lightly scolded them by saying, "Now, Brainy's story could be real scary," to which Slouchy commented, "Doesn't mean it will be, though."

Nat, the Smurfling who protects nature while dressed like a country bumpkin, then pointed out to his friend, "It could help us get over your story, you hickory nut," to Brainy, he said, "Smurf it on us, we're ready!"

"Right," said Brainy, adjusting his glasses before starting by adding, "Have any of you heard of the Snorks?" It seemed like he had the desired reaction going by how every smurf gasped and quieted down until a certain redheaded Smurfling in the pink overalls asked in confusion, "What's a Snork?" which caused the others, including Brainy, to turn and stare at her in shock. "What?" she asked.

"Sassette, how do you know nothing about Snorks?" asked Nat.

"I dunno," she replied, shrugging her shoulders, then Smurfette explained, "I never told her."

"But Smurfette, how can I be afraid of something I never heard of?"

"Oh, worry, Sassette," Brainy said, grinning unsmurfily, "You will be," then proceeded to tell the tale.


"Long ago, at this very forest..."

Every Smurf knew this story by heart, all except Sassette, apparently: The story of a young Smurfette, as back in those days, they were just as common as Smurfs, who was tricked into giving away secrets to a strange creature of unknown origins using a glamour of sorts. Not only that but she actually fell in love with it. Luckily for the Smurfs from that era, they had figured out how to cause those glamours to fail. Now armed with the knowledge of the creature's appearance, the Smurfs saw that, aside from differences from hand, feet, and eye size, and color, they weren't too different. Well, there was those strange snorkels growing on the top of their heads. Now, also thanks to a few more incidents, this means war.

Just because glamour spells seemed to be the only spells those creatures truly mastered, the Smurfs figured that they could take them. But what the Snorks lacked in magic expertize, they made up with technology, which Smurfs could barely comprehend. Also, they were quite convincing: they managed to get the forest's own water creatures on their side. They even managed to convince the Necks and those monstrous shapeshifters are crafty.

They say that this alliance is the very reason why natural born Smurfettes are practically nonexistent these days.

Still, the war was brutal as Snorks constantly used their vile technology to destroy the forest and Smurfs used their magic to ruin the ocean as a way to fight back. Clearly, things got very ugly fast. It's not even known which side actually won the war.

As for the poor Smurfette who was tricked into falling for that Snork, no one knows what became of her.


After Brainy finished telling his tale, the Smurfs sat there, quietly contemplating. The tale itself wasn't too horrifying without knowing the proper context so Sassette was definitely not afraid, rather she was now even more curious about those underwater dwellers.

Brainy was so disappointed.

She kept asking questions like, "Where would they go?" and "Who would they know?", much to everyone's discomfort.

Eventually, they were able to rein her in and the conversation moved on to other things. But the curiosity of a young girl cannot suppressed for too long as Sassette was still interested in learning about the Snorks. As she took a bite from her marshmallow, she thought to herself, "Tomorrow, I'm asking Pappy!"

To be continued...


Okay, couldn't resist referencing JonTron and the Scissor Man, though I'm sure that Slouchy's Scissor Man is different. LOL, sorry.

The Snorks story was the hardest thing, I had ideas but it just wouldn't come together. This was literally the best I could come up with. And that is just sad.

Oh, well, next chapter, we're visiting the village for reals this time, see ya later dudes.