"Hello Finn"

"Hellooo princess" a light giggle was heard at the other end of the line.

"Are you busy today Finn?"

"Nope, why do you ask?"

"Well the Candy Kingdom is need of your service once again brave hero"

Finn hung up the phone with a loud clank.

He turned to Jake, who was eating a giant burrito at the moment, with a serious face.

"Hey Jake you know what time it is?" Finn quietly yelled

"ADVENTURE TIME!" The two said in unison before fist pounding.

In five seconds flat Finn and Jake were outside in the flat green grassy plain heading towards the Candy Kingdom. Jake was 50x the size of his usual round dog self and running on all fours while Finn rode his back; excitement plastered across their faces.

At the Candy Kingdom…

"Princess! Princes!" said a living banana man running up a flight of stairs.

"Speak guardsman" a tall pink haired woman replied from her laboratory next to the end of the stairs. She was wearing a simple white lab coat and had her hair was tied in a bun.

The banana guard resigned himself to gasping for breath before speaking properly towards the royal princess of the kingdom.

"Ahem…uh…we found one of the ancient devices you are looking for!"

Standing outside the brightly lit lab, the banana guard extended his yellow arm to reveal a large green metallic and rectangular box with numerous dials and switches.

"Very good, place the device on the bench over there"

The banana guard nodded and did as he was told before promptly leaving.

The princess made a cursory glance at the device and deduced that it was a primitive form of storing audio files.

Having exposed the wiring the posterior of the device, the princess began configuring the wires in such a way so as to make it operational again. Soon, however, the task proved to be more difficult than simply identifying the function of the device. There was dirt in places where there shouldn't have been and when the princess began to probe an unidentifiable gray colored sphere it released hundreds of tiny spiders. If the spiders scattering across the white lab bench and contaminating chemical specimens nearby weren't enough, the wires in the back of the device began shocking the princess whenever she would attempt to repair the damage done to their conductive capabilities.

After applying leather gloves and smashing all the spiders with a red and white striped mallet. The princess was finally able to make some progress in repairing the ancient device.

Just as the princess connected a blue wire to a large battery, the device came to life. The meters on the front panel began to oscillate left and right while a light came on where the words on/off were painted. A large batch of dust shot out from the dust and coated the princess in a thin layer of brown debris.

"Ugh!" The princess yelled as she walked off to a bathroom down the curved hallway outside of the laboratory.

While the princess was washing away the ancient dust that had accumulated on her face the machine inside her lab began playing some of the recordings it was storing. The voice that emanated from the device was high and had a bit of a German accent.

Log entry 1471. Date September 2nd, 1945

Deeeeeeeear Diary

Another day anozer failure (static)

Zis time subject N3WP just (static) slightly of the flu. The Russian subject still smells like urine. Even after he was given a bath und deloused TWICE! I sink I may have killed the specimen from Mexico. His spleen is on the floor and he's not moving anymore. I can verify with the search team that the barrier is not located in the sea.

Dr. Max(static) vill continue no matter ze cost.

I vonder vhat he might think of ze experiment with ze little girrrrrrl. Dahahaha hahaha haha

(pig squeal) Nein! Drop that! That's my spleen! Mein!

Log entry 1545. Date January 5th, 1946

Deeeeeear Diary

Last night was a good night. I found a bottle of Heperweizen to keep my mind off ze pain from ze shwelling. Even ze pus shooting from my (static) finally subsided. However this does not diminish the fact that meat made from one of ze (static)est subject's scrotum was insufficient in pacifying ze desires of (static) to (static).

Log entry X. Date April 10th, 1946

Deeeeeear Diary

It is close to ze anniversary of mein Furher's birth. To celebrate I have commemorated ze next undertaking to him. Ze Swedish subject is being prepared in the other room for ze experiment. Hopefully he will not end up with a broken mind like ze other test subjects. Oh Takeo, your nonshensical proverbs vill not be missed. Especially since I took your spleen and fed it to subject (static). Dahaha. You know diary sometimes I sink zat vork and play really do mix.

Log entry X. Date May 13th, 1946

Deeeeeear Diary

Today was a grand day. I managed to flood the basement of one of the infested safehouses with sewage. In a matter of moments the freed test subjects were drowning in a giant pool of shi(static). Now zey are all dirty…dirty! Dahaha ahahaha.

Oh, und apparently ze Swedish test subject was a colossal failure. Unlike earlier test subjects who ver injected with the serum containing element 115, he did not relegate himself to muttering ancient proverbs in the corner of his cage or shizer his trousers but rather became dramatically hairier. His gross skeletal muscle structure has increased tenfold and his head has, for some reason, undergone a change in length. In addition, the dentition of the subject has changed to resemble numerous canines. While the initial changes seemed promising, the subject also displays a lack of (static) and discipline when given commands. It is only by being in ze presence of some (static). Hahaha...hard to believe it all started with a (static) und ze chicken was nice!

Finishing the statement on chicken, the machine that the princess had worked so hard to repair simply blew up in a cloud of smoke. It was at that moment that the princess managed to witness the fruit of her labor.

"Ugh!" the princess yelled

"Hey Princess Bubblegum. What's up?" Finn said as he entered the lab with a normal sized Jake.

"Gutentag Finn, your just in time to aid me in excavating a large number of artifacts dating before the Mushroom War."

"Schmowzow!" Finn said in exclamation with enlarged eyes. Princess Bubblegum couldn't stop a well formed smile from manifesting itself on her face in reaction to Finn's enthusiasm. Despite being 18 years old, Finn managed to remain the happy and brave kid he was when he was 13, or at least in Princess Bubblegum's eyes. No matter how much Finn's body may have changed to that of a slightly muscle toned male or the fact that he began to adopt a different set of social skills, he maintained his share of random displays of childlike wonder.

"Follow me please." The princess said as she walked towards the stairs.

Walking out of the giant pink castle, past baby blue houses and a yellow candy fountain Finn smiled at the vast array of colors that presented itself around him. Each edifice was a memorial to the adventures he had in the Candy Kingdom. The yellow fountain was the site of his first shower in the Candy Kingdom when he had saved all the candy citizens from a deer. The dilapidated green building in the corner of the block was the place where Finn had investigated the disappearance of 10 pounds of apples. Recollecting all these memories, Finn couldn't help but smile at the clear sky above. Finn was so encapsulated by his emotions and reminiscence that he didn't even notice that they had already reached their destination which was a mile away from the Candy Kingdom.

"Here it is. The dig site!" Princess Bubblegum exclaimed.

Snapping out of his trance, Finn stared at the confusing scene in front of him. There was a large 5 foot wide hole surrounded by a dizzying plethora of digging equipment that ranged from a candy steel winch fastened with diamond embedded candy cane screws to square machines with flashing dots that appeared as if they weren't even made of candy. Circumscribing the hole was a simple lift consisting of some ropes, a wooden platform and a candy steel frame. At each of these machines was at least 3 humanoid gum people dressed in lab coats.

"Okay guys, there seems to be a giant theater dating from before the Mushroom War buried beneath 1/8 of a mile of dirt. I'm surprised it managed to stay intact the way it is. I managed to view the exterior of the structure but we need a security team to accompany the archaeologists to handle any possible mishaps that may occur as they examine the site." Princess Bubblegum said in a polite tone.

"Of course milady. I will gladly offer myself to be a member of the security force to deal with anything that may want to bring harm the archaic dudes." Said Finn as he kneeled before the princess.

"Me too" Jake said while emulating his brother's stance with a smile.

"Thank you Finn" Princess Bubblegum said before touching his shoulder.

And with that Finn and Jake jumped onto the wooden platform and were slowly lowered into the deep abyss.

"Guards!" Princess Bubblegum yelled

"Yes your majesty!" bellowed the two dozen banana men armed with diamond tipped spears. They had been following the trio at a respectful distance since they left the gates of the Candy Kingdom.

"You know your task, follow Finn the hero's lead while the archaeologists examine the ruins!"

"Yes your majesty!" they bellowed again.