A/N: We are taking a big jump forward, but information about the missing years will be filled in! To the concerns about Alex, they will be addressed, and hopefully it will all make sense. So hang in there. :) Also, yes, Liz Donnelly is Alex's mom in this story, and don't get confused, but Casey always called Alex 'Lexie' when they were together. Also, I am pulling characters from Grey's Anatomy and Walking Dead again. Thank you for the reviews. They really keep me going! :)
Eleven Years Later...
Casey Novak lay in bed looking at the dark ceiling of her bedroom. The sun had not yet rose in the morning sky, it was still to early, yet she lie awake in bed. She always woke early on this day...she always would.
Lying on her back, watching the shadows on the ceiling she thought about how she got to this point in life. How life led her to this little town in the mountains of North Carolina. A series of over zealous decisions, and one fatal bad call on her behalf led her to this point. She was overcome with guilt that all started on this day eleven years ago. It was the day she lost the woman she loved most.
With the help of her family she came to realize she couldn't bring Alex back, but she could fill Alex's place in the unit and fight to get justice for other victims and that's exactly what she did, she fought. She battled cases most prosecutors would think to try and won. Her conviction rate soared higher than any other ADA in the DA's office, and was one of the highest in the country.
She was cutthroat and distant. She didn't let anyone in after Alex's death. The only people she was close to was her brother and her best friend Kim. Consequently, it drew those two together and now they were happily married and just had a baby. However, Casey remained single never wanting to be in a relationship again. How could she love another person, when she hadn't stopped loving Lexie?
So she continued her crusade for justice much to her own detriment. After four bad cases, she got reckless needing the high of a win, needing the high of getting justice. It was the only thing that eased the pain. She lied about reports, a Brady Violation and was censured. Her three year probation would be up in July of the next year, but her desire to return was gone. She liked her new life and she owed it to the woman who'd taken the most from her.
"Casey," Liz Donnelly spoke sternly, "What were you thinking? A Brady Violation?"
"I had the reports!" Casey argued from across the blondes desk.
Slamming her hands on the desk, Liz snapped, "Don't lie to me, Casey! Warner said you lied, she won't put her head on the chopping block for you to! You need to know that I reported you to the bar."
Casey's breath caught in throat, "W-what is going to happen to me?" She weakly asked.
"Most likely you will be censured. You are probably looking at 5 years. They may take pity on you and go for less seeing your line of work."
"What should I do?"
The older blonde looked at the shell of the once vibrant woman she use to know so well. "Look for a new line of work Casey. This one has hollowed you out."
Breaking down in tears, Casey fell into a chair across from Liz. Her resolve had cracked it was the only way she could gain justice for Alex and she'd failed her. "I am so sorry. I was just tried of not getting justice for her. I didn't protect her. I didn't protect her."
"Casey, it was a bad deal. He was a cop." Liz said flatly.
"No, Alex!" Casey cried.
"Alex? What are you talking about?"
"She came to me that night to apologize. I pushed her away. I should have realized, I should have protected her." The redhead sobbed.
Liz Donnelly watched the shell of Casey break apart and show a shred of the woman she once knew. "You have been using Sex Crimes to get justice." She said softly. Casey nodded in agreement. "Oh Casey, I am sorry. I never realized." She said crossing around the desk to offer support.
"Get away from me!" Casey snapped. "You took her from me. I know you encouraged her to leave me. Then she married that nightmare. She died because of him!"
"Casey, the drug cartel killed Alex not Nicholas. But you are right, I did encourage her to marry Nicholas. I am sorry Casey. Everything probably would have been completely different had she been with you. She would have been happy, loved and safe. Is this why you pushed everyone away?" Liz sympathized.
"Don't please, don't try to be my friend now. I don't know what to do..." Casey cried humiliated, defeated into her hands.
"Casey, I know what you could do." Liz said softly rubbing circles against the woman's back.
"What?"
"I have a friend who is the headmaster at a private high school down in North Carolina. She has some openings for teaching positions, one of which is an English teacher. Didn't you major in English?"
"Yeah," Casey said confused as to why Liz would want to help her now.
"I'd put in a good word for you if you'd like?" Liz offered with a smile.
"Why would you help me? Especially after helping to end my career?"
Liz smiled, "We all make bad choices Casey. Mine worst one, sent my daughter down a dark path which led to her end. Yours cost you your job. This is my way of fixing as much of mine as I can, to make things right in Alex's eyes. Keeping you safe and helping you to find happiness again. She would want that. If you want to fix yours, then go to North Carolina Casey, go and let go of this guilt. Find the old Casey again. Alex would want the old Casey." She watched her words fall over the redhead. She watched how Casey seemed to lighten.
"Okay." Was all Casey said.
Within the month, Casey had moved to North Carolina. To a small town outside of Asheville, teaching English to freshmen and seniors at a private high school. She'd bought a house on a corner lot with lots of trees and bought a dog. Life seemed worth living again.
She went for runs with her chocolate lab, and had lunch on the weekends with her fellow teachers that she'd befriended. She coached softball and supported the football team. She loved fixing up her home, and finally found good reasons to be happy again.
She also rediscovered her love of reading, and loved challenging her students to think beyond the text and feel what the author was really saying. She loved to make them think, and loved to give them a reason to love reading. Her life finally had a good purpose other than processing guilt.
Today, was usually the only day the guilt got to her, and that was simply because it was the reminder as to why she and Alex were not together. Why she woke up alone and didn't have a family. Why she ached for a love she once knew. It was because on this day eleven years ago the love of her life was murdered.
Watching the sun break through the blinds over her bed and wash away the nights dancing shadows, she was reminded that she needed to feed her four legged friend. "Good morning, Jake-y boy." Casey said to her over eager lab who had placed his head on the side of the bed.
Climbing out of bed, she started her usual routine of walking the dog and feeding him breakfast while making her coffee. Drinking coffee and eating a yogurt while getting dressed for work, she chose her favorite Rocket Dog boots, jeans, a graphic tee and her utility jacket. Walking the dog once more, she put him up and climbed into her 4-door black Wrangler and headed to work.
It was a chilly morning for the beginning of October. The sky was a crisp blue and the leaves were starting to change colors. If it hadn't been for the ache in her heart today it would be the perfect morning.
Reaching the school, she quickly dropped off her belongings and checked out her roster update that sat on her desk. She was getting a new student in her Freshman English class today, Kale Clark. She'd always loved the name Kale. Alex had once humored her and said they could name their first son Kale. It made her heart hurt a little more.
Grabbing her coffee tumbler she headed out to the front courtyard to talk to her best friend Andrea while the students arrived. Andrea taught History and Andrea's girlfriend, Michonne taught French. Michonne always handled student parking in the morning, Andrea and Casey supervised the courtyard.
Spotting her friend, she headed over. "Mornin' Blondie!" Casey called out.
"Mornin' Red!" Andrea called back. Andrea and Casey had many inside jokes from the year they met.
They both had started teaching at the school the same year and ventured out on many weekend excursions. One led them to the 'Land of the Hillbillies,' after Michonne started the next year they decide to take her to the same area so she could understand their joke. Michonne referred to it as a seen from the movie, 'Wrong Turn.' They were forever banned from returning.
"So, what's the scoop of the morning?" Casey asked her friend.
"New kid on the block has a hottie for a mom." Andrea said with a wicked grin.
Elbowing her friend, Casey smirked, "You better not let Michonne hear you talk about another woman like that, you know how she gets."
"I was thinking for you Case. When was the last time you got laid?"
"Their are children around! Plus, I am fine thank you. I have had company, just no commitments. I prefer it that way."
Rolling her sea green eyes, Andrea muttered, "Yeah, yeah." The two continued with light small talk till the bell rang signaling the students to head to class.
By the time, her freshman English class arrived Casey had forgotten about the new student till he approached her desk. "Ms. Novak," the boy asked.
"Yes, Kale is it!" Casey said looking up to meet strikingly familiar blue eyes.
"Yeah," Kale replied. His brown hair was short and he was almost as tall as Casey, but his blue eyes seemed so much like ones she knew all to well.
Shaking her head clear, she gave the boy his seat assignment and told him what chapter to open to in Orwell's 'Animal Farm.' Standing before her class she explained the reading from the night before and how the animals reflected the different parties from the Russian Revolution, expanding on the brilliance of Orwell's dystopian political satire.
Before she realized it, her last class of the day had arrived. Standing before her senior literature class she found herself on a tirade of what an amazing author Ernest Hemingway was, the class was reading 'The Sun Also Rises,' her favorite and namesake of her dog, Jake, who was named after the protagonist Jake Barnes. She was expounding upon how Hemingway had a way of writing his stories they could be personal and deep, or light like the 'Old Man in the Sea.'
"Ms. Novak," one of her students spoke up.
"Yes, Annabel," Casey called on the Hispanic girl.
"I was taught that the fish and the man stood for the battle of good and evil." Annabel stated.
"Funny thing about that, many people like to overthink something's, but Hemingway in an interview once was asked what was the deeper meaning of the story. Do you know what he said?" Casey asked as she caught sight of a woman walking past her classroom window.
As if suddenly frozen to the spot before her desk, she watched the woman walk by. Her brown hair was so different, but she looked so much like her Lexie. How could that be?
"Ms. Novak, what did he say?" Another student called out snapping her from her thoughts.
Shaking her head clear, Casey said, "It was just a story about a damn fish. That's what he said."
Finishing out her class, Casey couldn't shake the heaviness her heart felt. Ever since seeing the Alex look alike, she couldn't stop thinking about her lost love. She wanted to see the woman again, just to have that moment one last time. It was a crazy thought, but she couldn't shake it.
As she drove up her street, she noticed Kale out in front of a rental house at the end of her road. He was sitting on the steps of the house reading. She smiled, thinking to herself, 'I got one to read!'
As she pulled up to her house and headed inside, she found herself thinking she could go down and meet the mother. It would allow her to see her again. Walking the dog, she realized she couldn't go empty handed.
Heading inside, she dumped some store bought cookies on a plate and wrapped cellophane over them. Looking down at Jake, she mumbled, "Don't judge me, you never eaten my cooking. They'd thank me for saving them from food poisoning."
Opening the door, she headed out by herself. Walking down the street, she came upon the little bungalow looking house. Knocking lightly she waited.
Kale came to the door, confusion on his face as he opened the door, "Ms. Novak, why are you here?"
"Hey Kale, I live at the end of the street on the corner. I was just bringing you and your parents some cookies to say welcome to the neighborhood." Casey said in a cheerful voice.
"Oh okay," Kale said taking the cookies, "I'll get my mom. Mom! A neighbors here!" The boy yelled before heading into the back hallway.
"Kale! That is not how you treat neighbors!" An all too familiar voice called out from the direction of the kitchen.
Casey suddenly felt frozen in time. Her heart pounded in her chest. She felt dizzy. It couldn't be, it couldn't be Alexandra. It couldn't be. She was hallucinating. Lexie was dead.
"Hi," came the familiar voice, "I'm..."
"Lexie," Casey breathed out as she locked eyes with Alexandra's. "Lexie, is it really you."
"Casey," Alex whispered.
