Author's Notes: Chapter 1 introduced the problem and chapter 2 the cast of sort-of-heroes, so now chapter 3 can set things up for the plot main to get moving. Sorry it's taken a little while to get going, I just wanted to establish things firmly and hope it pays off and proves to be worth it (plus in DMC3 itself the first 3 missions are like an extended introduction, hehe).
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Downstairs in the house, Reiko entered the front room and walked to Arson who was sat much like before, in front of the TV. The hybrid waved him over excitedly as he did and Reiko knelt on one knee to see what it was the hybrid thought he should see to badly.

"YOO-HOO! Jester here with the latest smashing news, mommies and daddies, gather the kids round, this one's for the history books!" the deranged and delighted clown-faced reporter yelled on the TV.

Reiko resisted the urge to flinch and groaned instead, holding his head in his hands for a moment. Jester appeared to be in a helicopter, although the demented fool (literally a fool, or clown) was so close to the camera it was hard to tell. Reiko could not stand Jester, he was loud, stupid, annoying, and only got the job as a news reporter because he had a supernatural gift for getting to where the action and story was, and fast.

Well, not quite the only reason, the vampire added mentally, glancing sideways at Arson, who could have been said to be glued to the screen if he wasn't bouncing up and down so much he was practically vibrating. As one of the only living creatures as hyper as himself, Arson loved Jester, and he wasn't the only fan of the popular clown demon, which Reiko found both confusing and a little worrying. Hoping Arson wouldn't break anything since it would make it harder for him to watch Jester, Reiko returned his attention to the TV.

"Oh yes kiddies, this is amazing! Even the devil children were no match for it, coming from the skies, an alien being interrupted the duel between our favourite half-devil twins and took them both prisoner, hahaha!" as Jester laughed and danced backwards, Reiko now able to tell the helicopter was circling near the top of the Temen-Ni-Gru.

The vampire was now paying (un)deadly serious attention, if what Jester said was true, this was no common occurrence, but a serious problem. "In mere moments our captive audience will get to be the audience to these two captives as we try and see just who has snared the sons of Sparda so easily" Jester's voice had dropped to that fake conspirator's whisper that was twice as loud as most people's regular talking (thus about the half as loud as his).

Without warning he screamed back to full volume as he swung into the camera face so violently Reiko recoiled as if fearing he was going to somehow be kissed by the maniac. "While we wait please call into our pole on what the first question put to this unknown invader is, the current top three choices are 'Ask for its autograph', 'Ask how much it wants for the devil children' and in top place my personal favrioute 'Do you spend a lot of time with hot men on top of tall, sturdy shafts', hahahahaha!" Jester danced about, moon-walking across the ceiling before pausing with no respect for gravity and saying abruptly "And now, over to my co-host".

Reiko sighed in relief, immensely grateful the moment that clown's face and voice were pulled from the screen. They were replaced by a much more sombre, serious figure behind a desk, although a mercifully muted live image of Jester was still playing on a screen behind him. Reiko liked Jester's co-host much more (or disliked much less), he said so little that it was easy to pretend he wasn't there, a welcome break from Jester who made Reiko wish he wasn't there.

"Yes..." said Arius simply, trying to let the word trail off ominously, but not doing a very good job of it. He coughed, and continued, "Something fell from the skies today. It landed on Temen-Ni-Gru's top, where Dante and Vergil, the sons of Sparda were battling. It appears to have defeated and imprisoned them both". This was the most Reiko had ever heard him say and the sorcerer was clearly taxed by the verbose speech, downing a full glass of water thirstily. In the background, Jester appeared to be hanging upside down from the camera and trying to fence with it using his massive tongue. Arius grunted as a sort of verbal full stop, and said "Back to you Jester", turning and seeing at last what his counterpart was doing behind his back.

A look of grief and anger crossed the sorcerer's normally expressionless face, and with a sudden access of emotion, he cried out "I was going to be KIEENG of this world!", collapsing into a sobbing heap on his desk just before the camera cut back to Jester.

"Ooh, looks like Arwy-warwy has a boo-boo on his heart, send him some fan-mail will you viewers?" Jester chuckled just as the helicopter crested the summit of the demon tower. It circled round and the demonic fool once again put on his loud whisper, "Now lets see who our delightedly uninvited guest is, and hope they brought their passport, customs round here are the very devil, hahaha!". The camera was given a little space by the clown and focused on the summit of the tower, and they saw.

Jester, Arius, Reiko, Arson, and anyone else following the broadcast, they all saw. And of all the watching world, very few recognised what they saw. One of those few, was Reiko. "Mary Sue..." he choked out, the already pale vampire turning near-albino as horrified look crept over his face.

It seemed he wasn't the only one who knew the true nature of the being standing and waving innocently, cutely even, to the helicopter, like a child at an air-show. After some exchange Reiko missed, the camera returned to Arius. "Mary Sue is a parasitical organism which seeks out vulnerable fandoms and infects them, intending to drain all the energy, creativity and life-force from them" the aged sorcerer explained, for while he was a complete pansy, he seemingly did know a thing or two about lore and ancient evils after all.

Reiko was horrified, and to add to it, he now looked appalled too. "A deadly alien virus that fell from the skies and wants to suck all the life out of this world, is this a Final Fantasy VII fanfic now?" he scowled irritably. Arson, looking a lot calmer and not moving his eyes from the screen, remarked off-hand "Well that game is pretty much the biggest source of blind fanatical fanboyism and fangirlism ever".

Reiko paused, and turned his head slowly to look at Arson, the hybrid looking back at him after a moment, noticing the vampire staring at him quizzically. Arson gave out a weak chuckle, then threw on a manic smile, yelling out "I hope Jester asks her the question I voted for!", nodding so much his hair flapped like a baby bird trying to leave the nest prematurely. Reiko eyed him suspiciously for a moment longer, but now wasn't the time to try and understand Arson, even an undying vampire didn't have time for that.

Reiko stood up swiftly, having heard all he needed to, and walked across the room, Arson turning and following him with his eyes. The vampire stopped at a cabinet at the back of the room, and opened it. It was where he and Arson kept most of their weapons. It was nothing fancy, just like a place to hang your coat really, this was a place to put your swords, guns, whatever your preference.

As Reiko picked out his personal weapon of choice, a metal bo-staff about as long as he was tall, Arson got up and wandered over. "Whatcha doing Reiko sir?" he asked innocently, although secretly he already knew, but it still seemed best to ask. After a moment's hesitation, the vampire simply replied "What I can Arson", twirling the staff casually though expertly to shake the dust off. "You're gonna go? Won't it be dangerous?" the hybrid pursued curiously. "Yes it will, but I'm going to try and help, I owe Dante that much at least" Reiko said, turning from the cabinet again, trying to remember where he put his overcoat.

"Can I come too?" Arson asked innocently, causing Reiko to pause in his tracks across the room to the front door, and the coat stand. "Arson, it will be extremely dangerous, I don't know if I can even do anything, I'll try, but it doesn't matter much, if I don't make it..." the vampire trailed off, not turning to look at the hybrid as he spoke.

Arson understood. He knew that while his friend fought for what he believed in with true spirit and passion, one thing he didn't believe in was himself. The vampire didn't care much if he died fighting for a worthy cause, as his unnatural life just wasn't such a cause, Reiko felt.

Arson understood this perfectly, though he didn't let it show, but he also knew that he cared if Reiko died or not. After all, all differences aside, they were friends. So if Reiko was going to risk himself for something this dangerous, Arson was going to help him the hybrid decided. Of course, he knew it would be hard to convince the vampire of this, since he cared a lot more for his friends than himself. But that was just too bad, Arson thought, smirking to himself behind Reiko's back.

"I'm coming too!" he yelled childishly, stamping his foot then turning and reaching into the cabinet, drawing out his twin swords Phoenix and Dragon, normally flaming, though passive for now. Reiko turned, a look of surprise on his face, and Arson glared back at him defiantly. "You're not having fun without me, I want to go to the party too!" he yelled stubbornly, crossing his arms, swords tucked round his sides.

Reiko opened his mouth to protest, then sighed instead. He knew Arson, and he knew that while usually whimsical, he could be utterly stubborn on rare occasions, and this showed all the signs of being one of them. He didn't want to endanger the kid, but he also didn't have time to persuade him to stay. Also he added thoughtfully, for all his immaturity Arson could handle himself in a fight, Reiko suspected even more so than himself.

"Very well" Reiko relented, then gave a small smile, "You can come to the party" he added, playing along. This prompted Arson to whoop and jump about in joy, before stopping and following Reiko out the door as they headed for the Temen-Ni-gru. On the way the hybrid set his swords on his back in little holders on his coat, and the vampire grabbed his own coat, putting it on and placing his own weapon securely on his back.

Vampire and devil-angel hybrid stepped out the front door together, and turned to look determinedly at their destination, which was visible for miles. The demon tower, Temen-Ni-Gru, tall, dark, ominous, and with a comparatively tiny helicopter buzzing round its summit like some kind of mechanical flea.