Losing It ~ SoapyMayhem

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N This is going to be a short read with some lemons and a generous helping of angst. It will be a novella of sorts. The chapters will be short, around 1,000-1,500 words. I anticipate this story lasting maybe 10-12 chapters.


After years of saving herself for that one special guy only to have him turn her down, Bella is on a mission to lose her virginity. Who will be left in the wake of her destruction?


Chapter 3 **Not Invisible**

**Edward Cullen**

"Did you talk to her yet?" Alice asked excitedly while chewing a bite of the disgusting lunchroom pizza.

I shook my head in the negative. Alice knew bringing her up was a bone of contention with me. Her questioning only reminded me of my shortcomings, my inability to formulate, conjugate, and enunciate words in the presence of her. So, why did she feel the need to torture me?

To the onlooker, I was sure that I often looked like a schizophrenic mime. On more than one occasion, I found myself reaching to pull out chairs, tap shoulders, and smooth flyaway hairs, only to chicken out at the last second and retract my shaking hands. It was because of her; she was beautiful, intelligent, and completely oblivious to my presence.

I often wondered how someone could sit within a two foot radius of another person for months and never notice them. Sure, we'd spoken, but she was always distracted, her answers short, almost absentminded. I'd noticed enough of her grades to know she wasn't an idiot. She was paying attention to Mr. Banner, but it was almost as if I didn't exist. To Bella Swan, I was practically invisible.

Her ignorance of my existence and my inability to form a complete sentence made things quite difficult for me.

"Alice, leave him alone. You know how he gets when you bother him about talking to Bella Swan," Jasper chided my nosey sister.

"She talked to me today," Ben blurted abruptly.

I furrowed my brow as my surprise turned to jealousy. What the hell made him so special?

"What did she say?" Alice asked, vibrating with excitement.

I wanted to appear indifferent, but he had information on Bella, and I wasn't that good of an actor. I leaned toward the conversation.

"She wanted to know if I had a girlfriend!" he whispered loudly. I nearly choked on my fries.

"What did you tell her?" I said no longer caring to hide my interest.

"What the hell, Edward? Of course I told her about Angela. What do you think?" he asked appalled. I held my hands up defensively. It never crossed my mind that he'd intentionally omit his relationship with Angela. I just wanted to know how he managed to answer her at all. I supposed his ability to speak to her hinged on the fact that, unlike me, he didn't have a massive fucking crush on her.

"Why do you think she asked that?" Jasper questioned curiously.

"I asked, she deflected by changing the subject, then Lauren Mallory came over and she and Bella walked off together. It was strange," Ben explained.

There were so many unanswered questions, but they'd have to wait. It was almost time for the bell that signaled fifth period - Biology. I made a point never to be late for my favorite class.

I mumbled goodbyes to my friends and emptied my lunch tray. I chanced a quick glance over to the popular table hoping for an early glimpse of Bella, but she wasn't there. I wondered if she'd gone to class early.

Moving quickly through the halls, I made it with plenty of time to spare. When the door opened, the first thing I noticed was the prismatic shimmer glinting off her silken hair, then the tight blue sweater that scooped low, showing the tiniest sliver of glorious cleavage. Shit!

The books in my hands were immediately repositioned in front of my tented jeans like a shield. Fuck, not again!

She was writing furiously fast and looking a bit stressed. My concern for her lessened the throb in my jeans.

"Edward."

I jumped, startled by the sound of my name. Mr. Banner was waving me over to his desk. He mentioned something about needing my help with putting together a class project. I was so distracted I would have agreed to anything in that moment.

In seconds, something in the air shifted. My skin began to prickle with electricity, and I could feel eyes on me. Mr. Banner excused me to my desk after I agreed to what - I had no idea. I turned on my heels and began to span the distance to mine and Bella's table. My grasp on my books tightened as the feeling continued to assault me.

As the feeling became more intense, I looked up, unable to stop myself from looking in Bella's direction. For the first time in the last three months Bella wasn't looking anywhere but right at me, staring even. I felt bare, like she was seeing into my fucking soul. A blush spread across my cheeks under her scrutiny. Her eyes widened for a moment before she shook her head and mumbled something under her breath. I was still too far away to hear her.

No longer feeling like an insect under a microscope, I made it to my desk. The chair scraped across the floor, causing us both to wince. She looked back up at me as I was sitting down. It was as if we were both unwilling participants in a staring match. I had a feeling I would be the victor, as I had spent innumerable hours staring at her beautiful face.

She blinked twice and then licked her lower lip. Without my permission, my eyes followed the action, and then mimicked it with my own tongue.

I was still staring at her mouth when I saw her lips part and begin to form words. It was so easy for her. If I even attempted to open my mouth, I was certain drool would pour out.

"Hello, I'm Bella, you're Edward right?" she asked sweetly in a silken voice that flowed over me like silk and honey.

"Shit!" I said before clasping my hand over my mouth.

Before I even had a chance to apologize her lips curled into an amused smile and she began to giggle.

I couldn't believe it. She giggled, she fucking giggled! I made Bella Swan giggle!

~*LI*~


Another update coming soon! Maybe Tomorrow

It's awards season, and much to my surprise a few of my stories have been recognized by The Shimmer Awards as nominees, Confessions of a Serial Killer in the Blood Award category for Best Horror, Confessions of a Love Sick Geek for the Outtake Award for Best Comedy and Undisclosed Desires for The Quickie Award for best O/S and a Golden Lemon for Best Group Sex. I would like to thank those who nominated those story.

I have been working on my High Times Anonymous Contest submission hosted by Yogagal and AngstGoddess003. Please head over and check out all the lovely stories. When all the stories are posted, I'd love to hear your ideas on which one you guys think is mine.

Thanks again and I wish everyone a happy Valentines Day!