Disclaimer : I don't won CCS
{---} Chameleon {---}
Chapter 3 : White Carnation
"How is she?"
"Still refuses to eat, Ma'am,"
"Hhh… that girl. Always making me worried!"
Tomoyo glanced at the closed door. Her mother's and maid's voices were still audibly heard. She wrinkled her forehead. What is wrong with everybody? I'm just not in the mood of eating and they make it sounds horrible!
Face white as snow
Looked down at the flower of White Carnation
She refused to know
What the truth behold
"Tomoyo?" she heard her mother called. "Please eat, Dear! You haven't eaten since 2 days ago, for God's sakes!"
"I am alright, Mother. I am not hungry. You needn't have to worry, really."
The raven haired girl could hear her mother's sigh. Tomoyo just shook her head and returned her attention to the music box in front of her. Her head rested weakly at the soft pillow as the melody from the box came to sense.
"I thought you'd be smart enough to lock your door. Strange how you're trying to slowly kill yourself, but keep the door unlocked."
Abruptly, she turned back and found the dark haired guy who was already standing inside her bedroom.
Tomoyo rolled her eyes. She had come into a final decision that she really disliked that man. "What a polite appearance, Mr. Hiiragizawa," she said sardonically. "I also thought an educated man like you, would know how rude it is to enter a lady's room without permission!"
Ignoring her babbles, he spoke, "Your mother asked me to talk a thing or two to you,"
She narrowed her eyes. "There is nothing to be talked about, Mr. Hiiragizawa."
Eriol set his gaze at the young maiden, before finally gazing at his surrounding and studied her room. "You don't turn your room into a war place –I am quite surprised," he said as nodding slightly.
Before stepping into the maiden's room, he was really positive that her room would be a total mess. But no. Her bed was neat. There were no scattered things on the floor. No broken mirror. No torn sheets. Everything was neat. Too neat –as the matter of fact. It just seemed that she spent 2 days to neaten the room.
But the dead White Carnation in the vase on the corner table, had ruined the perfect score. 2 days of 'self-banishment' didn't give her opportunity to change the flowers.
A childish grin she did as she noticed what had caught his attention. "That is the same flower Soujiro gives me everyday. My favorite," She added. "He's a good man, Hiiragizawa. Do you know when he'll come home? I miss him dearly!"
"Your fiancée is dead and you know that," he stated.
For a moment, Eriol swore he saw her face's changed expression. But then she shook her head –letting her messed hair played by the wind. "No,no, Mr. Hiiragizawa. You're wrong. He's not dead. He's in a business appointment with my uncle. But he promised to get back soon,"
Eriol stared at the young lady in front of him. "They buried his body yesterday."
"Don't joke about death, Mr. Hiiragizawa," her tone turned into a warning one.
"I'm not joking. Your fiancée is dead,"
"For the last time, he's not dead!"
"Don't try to bully yourself, Miss. Soujiro Hojo…is dead,"
"LIAR!!"
She poured water to the vase
Giving the flower everything to keep it lived
And gave her heart
Gave her everything
Just for someone to tell her it wasn't true
Tears were streaming down her cheek. She did nothing to wipe them. As if she wanted to show him clearly, how his words had hurt her feelings. "Please tell me it's not true. Say it's just your silly joke…," she paused. And when she spoke again, her voice quivered in the tone of expecting. "It isn't true…right?"
He didn't reply.
"Right?!" snapped her.
"… He's dead,"
Her expression went blank. She then chuckled.
"So it's true."
She closed her eyes tightly and bit her lower lips. The door swung closed, but she didn't care.
- - - - - -
The sky was in the color of light gray, the rain was about to come. A bucket of White Carnation flower was held tightly in her hands. Tomoyo shivered slightly as the cold November breeze blew at her. Going out in a chilly day wasn't her idea of fun, but yet she remained sitting at the same spot. Her eyes were looking straightly at the beautifully designed gravestone in front of her.
"I know you must have been sick seeing these flowers again and again –since you had always brought me this but…," she paused and put the bucket at the grave. "I think they are pretty. I don't know what is your favorite flower, so I bring you these. Sakura told me that White Carnation is the symbol of pure love. Isn't that nice, Soujiro?"
A honest smile curved on her lips and she waited. Waited for a smile in return. Soujiro always smiles whenever he sees me smile, she thought hopefully. But only her vain that she met.
"A, are you smiling now, Soujiro? I… I heard from Mother that th,those evil men had s,shot you right on your temples. Was it h, hurt?"
A tear rolled down. "O, of course it was hurt. How fool am I," she chuckled as wiping other tears that joined the previous ones. She stared at Soujiro's grave for a long time, before her words flowed again. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I, I've never been a good fiancée. I might have disappointed you, I…I…," her voice grew fainter until it was barely hearable. "I'm so sorry."
And when the water inside the jar was empty
And when she knew that she didn't have anything left to give
She realized truth
It was dead.
The flower was dead
And would never came back to life
"You always helped me. Do you still remember, Soujiro? W,when Mother punished me and locked me in the dark room…t, then you sneaked in and helped me out? I was so afraid when I ran from Mother's punishment. But at the same time, I was grateful that it was you who was beside me."
Tomoyo sighed desperately at the cloudy sky, remembering the times some years ago. It was back then when Sonomi was still obsessed of having a perfect daughter, when Soujiro Hojo hadn't come into her life, when everything looked only as half of reality...
"Y, you said… you'd always be there f,for me… whenever I needed y,you,"
She was really wishing to hear a reply.
"You promised… you promised to always be with me…," she raised her head and gave a look at her surrounding. "… But you lied! You don't fulfill your promise! Why did you have to lie? Why, Soujiro?"
When the same dead silence came, her anger grew. "Why don't you answer?! Why do you have to leave me?!! Why?! Why?!!" she screamed as dropping her body to the grave. Dirt spoiled her white gloves, but not that she cared. That wasn't the problem. The problem was Soujiro. Only Soujiro. Only him.
Her tears wet her lips. The salty tastes burned her lips, her mind, her heart, her everything.
"W..why…?"
This time, she wasn't even sure if she still had power to cry, to speak or even to hope. Her hand trailed down on the cold gravestone as her tears trailed down her cheeks.
"Are you crying, Tomoyo?" the voice of an 18 year old boy with turquoise eyes and brown hair echoed in her mind.
"N, no! I'm not!" this time she heard her own voice –in the younger version.
"Don't lie. I've never lied to you. And I expect you to never lie to me also!"
"… okay, I was crying. I was! I lied because I didn't want you to see me as a weak girl. I, I remember you said you hated to see a girl's cry, s,so…,"
"I really don't like to see a girl's cry," Soujiro cut her words. "Especially you. I really don't want to see you cry. But on the top of that… I just want you to be honest to yourself. Don't worry! You won't be weak if you express your feeling. If you just want to accept that you have weakness, then it's the first step to be a strong person,"
She looked at his eyes, and cursed herself for getting drowned at them. And then she cried.
She cried at his grave also.
And after what seemed to be hours, after all tears she shed had dried, she gathered her strength to get up.
Reluctantly, she looked back at his grave again. Ignoring how much pain her heart had to feel whenever she did that.
"I'll never forget you, Soujiro. I'll n,never…stop loving you…,"
At least
Just not in this world
"Done with your crying?"
She gasped slightly and turned back to face a tall man standing behind.
"You. What are you doing here?!" she snapped as her hand quickly wiped the remaining tears on her face.
"Your mother was worried about you and she ordered me to go and pick you up,"
"I told her not to worry about me!"
"She knew perfectly what a trouble you are. And I'm here just to do her order,"
She snorted and reluctantly followed Eriol –who was already heading to a tree where two horses were tied. The raven haired girl was just walking a few steps, when suddenly felt a hand –a strong hand –pushed her hard to the ground.
Not having any time to yelp or gasp, her mouth was silenced when her ears caught the sound of something fast went pass her. Like the sound of something ripped harshly into two. For a split of second, she just felt like floating. And the next second, a pain stabbed her upper arm.
"What happened?!" Eriol shouted while he was approaching Tomoyo who was lying on the ground. Her face was still colored in white horror.
She cringed when she showed him her bleeding arm. Eriol wrinkled his forehead and he knelt down beside her. "What happened?" he repeated.
Took some minutes for her to respond. With her right palm still holding her wounded arm, she said, "I,I don't know! I felt a hand pushed me, and then I heard a fast thing went passed, and then… this…,"
Eriol roughly raised her arms to see her wound.
Grimacing, she yelled, "That hurts!!"
Not even bothering to apologize, Eriol just dropped her arm carelessly –which sent more swearing from the violet eyed girl. "You're lucky," he said as offering her his handkerchief. "The bullet missed,"
"T,the bullet?! You mean… somebody was –Ouch!– trying to shoot me?!" Her left hand quickly finished wrapping the injure on her upper right arm in order to concentrate more to look around her.
Eriol sighed. "Tried to kill you even. This guy definitely can shoot from a far distance,"
"How could you know it was a 'he'?" Tomoyo immediately averted her gaze from the dark trees to the blue eyed guy.
Raising her shoulders, he just replied shortly, "Just a feeling. And you could stop watching your surrounding. That guy isn't stupid enough to show himself just n-"
"I… I want to go home," she cut his words. Eriol only stared at her for a moment, before turning his back and once again walking to the horses. Tomoyo was right behind him. Her head felt so dizzy. Too many things happened in such a short time. She just wanted it all to end. She only wanted to go back to her room and slept to forget all what she had seen and experienced.
If only Soujiro was here.
She managed to keep the tears not to fall, but couldn't resist the thought of Soujiro attacked her mind again.
How she wanted the earth to just swallow her.
It must be cold and dark under the ground, but at least… Soujiro will be by my side. He will be there…
The rough sound of a horse running on the hard street brought her back. Tomoyo looked up and realized that Eriol had released his own horse while the horse itself had gone out of sight.
"What are you doing?! You've just…,"
"He's a very smart horse. He could find his way back to your house."
"B,but how will you get back?! You're going to walk?!"
"Of course not," he mumbled as now working on fastening the saddle on Tomoyo's horse.
"You're going to ride on my horse?!"
"With that arm, you can't ride by your own, right?"
"Th,then we're going to be in the same horse?"
Eriol caressed the horse's brown skin. "I don't have any other choice. I've promised your mother to bring you back safe at home."
Exhaling a defeated breath, she nodded weakly and walked to her horse. Just then she realized that her horse was standing uneasily.
"He's still afraid of that sound of shooting," explained Eriol. "But it's good that he didn't neigh hysterically or tried to escape. He would only hurt himself if he did that. Caressed him and try to do anything to comfort him,"
Turning to her horse again, she did what he told her to do. Tomoyo could feel the difference. Its' stiff muscles started to relax. With her hand still caressing her horse, she asked again, "Your horse… didn't look so terrified,"
"He's trained,"
"Huh?"
"Never mind. Get on the horse,"
With her injured arm, it was quite difficult for her to climb up the horse. She had tried to grab a low tree branch to support her body to get on the horse, but the pain attacked again and she had to fail once again.
"When will you stop being a trouble, huh?" Eriol muttered, and before she could think a word to snap back, his strong arms had encircled around her waist –helping her to get on the horse.
"T, thank you," she said –with blushing cheeks.
It would probably live
It would only have to find another place to live
But not in here
Not in this world
Just in another place
In an instant, he got on the horse and sat behind her. Tomoyo shifted uncomfortably as his arm went passed her to grab the horse's halter. Their closeness was nerving her. He was close enough that she could smell the mix of peppermint and musk from him.
She shuddered.
"Stop acting like that. It's not only you who dislike this idea,"
The day was bad enough for her that she decided not to say anything during their way back home.
- - - -- - -
"Where have you two been?! I almost call the po… Oh My God, Tomoyo!" Sonomi cried as she approached her only daughter. "Your arm! W, what happened?!"
"She was shot, Mrs. Daidouji,"
"SHOT?! B,but… how could that happen?"
"It's alright, Mother. Just a maniac, perhaps. I remember Chiharu said something about a maniac had been…,"
"N,no. It's not a maniac," Sonomi said –more to herself.
"Mother?"
Sonomi was still busy with her thought. Tomoyo noticed, that the wrinkles on her mother's face were visibly seen. For all of this time, she had thought that a superior woman like her mother wouldn't have to sweat any problem, but then she realized how wrong it was.
Her mother was a human, she realized.
And somehow, slight fear went to surface. After Soujiro's death, Tomoyo could only rely on her mother. But even just to ask for a little help, she just felt reluctant to do it.
"Mr. Hiiragizawa," Sonomi finally spoke to somebody besides herself. "I,I know you must be tired, but I have to discuss an important thing with you. Could we talk for a while?"
"Of course," Eriol replied without hesitation.
Tomoyo suddenly felt very tired. "May you excuse me, Mother? I have to go to my room and change…,"
The horrified looks on her mother's eyes appeared again. "Don't go to your room!!"
Both Eriol and Tomoyo were staring immediately at the frustrated businesswoman. Sonomi quickly took the control of herself. "Don't go to your room, Tomoyo. I'll explain later. For now… er… can you ask Rina to bring the tea here? And after that, you can come back and join our conversations."
Tomoyo looked at her mother in great confusion. But she nodded and leaved the room, ignoring her curiosity.
--- Later ---
"I've told Rina to make the tea," Tomoyo reported once she came back to the living room.
"T,thank you. N,now… will you please sit?" Sonomi said. The silence passed while Tomoyo comforted herself on the chair. The older Daidouji Mistress began to talk again after that. "Mr. Hiiragizawa and I…have been talking about this. And now I want to tell this to you,"
"Tell me what, mother?" Tomoyo said as she looked at her mother and then to Eriol.
"It's about… Er… first of all, I want you to know that… Kanata hasn't been found," Sonomi said. The glint of hurt crossed on her still beautiful-over-years face. "The police said that there were blood tracks headed to the river. They suspected them to be Kanata's. But… they ended at the river. The police concluded that Kanata was… dead."
It was too much for her. After her fiancée, her favorite uncle followed. She bowed her head and closed her eyes –so the tears wouldn't fall. Hoping that whatever her mother was going to say next, could take the heavy thoughts off of her. Though she wasn't really sure it could.
"And… er….," Sonomi glanced at Eriol –who still had his same steady expression on his face. She breathed deeply before continuing her words. "Tomoyo, Dear. Maybe this is too fast and shocking to you but... For your own good, I want you to marry Mr. Eriol Hiiragizawa,"
TBC
Face white as snow
Looked down at the flower of White Carnation
She refused to know
What the truth behold
She poured water to the vase
Giving the flower everything to keep it lived
And gave her heart
Gave her everything
Just for someone to tell her it wasn't true
And when the water inside the jar was empty
And when she knew that she didn't have anything left to give
She realized truth
It was dead.
The flower was dead
And would never came back to life
At least
Just not in this world
It would probably live
It would just find another place to live
But not in here
Not in this world
Just in another place
A/n : I am honestly very dissatisfied with this chapter. Especially the poem. ~_~ . Then why do I put it again? Dunno, just trying to make it fits more. But what can I say? The poem is bad and the only reason I keep it is because I want to be at least a poem in every chapter. But if I really can't do the poems, then perhaps I won't include a poem in the next chapters. Suggestion, review, critics, flames, are welcomed.
Thanks for reading, anyway ^_^…
