Still Here – Chapter 3

Typing in her password, Kate Beckett opened her e-mail account and scanned through her inbox, spotting one from her dad. Knitting her eyebrows together, she wondered when he started to use e-mail and, for that matter, how he had managed to get a hold of her address. Her eyes flicked down to the stack of business cards sitting just below her monitor. She didn't remember giving one to her dad, but at some point, she guessed she must have. Clicking the link to open up the message, Beckett quickly read through it. When she had finished, she groaned inwardly, realizing that she had yet to inform her dad about recent events. From his e-mail, it was obvious he still thought she was seeing Josh, as he was inquiring upon whether or not she was ever "planning on introducing this doctor fellow you're seeing to me."

Usually she was good about keeping in touch with him, but with all the changes happening in her life, Beckett had become, well, for the lack of a better word, distracted. She closed her eyes and made a mental note that she was going to have to meet up with her dad sometime to get him up to date, and to tell him the news that he was going to be a grandfather. Probably not the way he was expecting, Beckett admonished herself.

Dragging her lower lip through her teeth, Beckett wrote back a response, apologizing for the delay and promising to make up for it with dinner, which she tentatively scheduled for Wednesday (that would give her two days to prepare Castle—not to mention herself). After re-reading the message to make sure there was nothing in it that hinted at anything too shocking, she clicked the send button, then leaned back and let out a long frustrated sigh. The nausea that came from her morning sickness was rising up and for a moment she thought she was going to need to rush to the bathroom to throw-up.

So far, she had managed to convince those not in-the-know that she had just caught a bug that was particularly virulent and was refusing to leave. However, that particular cover story would be useless once she started showing. As the wave of nausea passed, she sighed with relief and her eyes glanced longingly over at the empty chair sitting by the side of her desk. Beckett was utterly stunned by this. She had dropped Castle off at his place just under two hours ago and she was already missing him, wishing he was here, smiling up at her with his charming boyish grin and his twinkling eyes, always full of mischief and merriment. Castle was a man who knew how to enjoy life.

As if on cue, her phone buzzed, signaling a new text message. She picked it up and looked down to see it was from Castle. For a bestselling author, Beckett thought it was amusing that his texts were always so incoherent and confusing. He was obviously trying to use the slang and abbreviations that were so popular amongst today's youth, but sometimes he failed miserably. Beckett wondered if Alexis had to put up with his cryptic and baffling texts as well. Probably, she huffed, blowing a strand of hair out of her eyes.

Beckett stopped short and gasped. Alexis! Oh God, they hadn't even told Alexis about what had happened. Beckett had not wanted to make it widely known, so not that many people knew about her pregnancy. There was her, of course, and Castle. Then there was Lanie—whom she had sworn to secrecy, because of her close ties with a certain Hispanic detective. She had been force to tell Josh; her condition being one of the reasons for their break-up, but it had been a long time coming, she had just needed something to give her a good kick to acknowledge it. Captain Montgomery knew, because she had to clear time with him so she could see her OB-GYN to confirm it all, since she didn't trust home pregnancy tests because of a scare a couple of years ago.

She felt kind of bad that out of all those people, Castle had been the last to find out, especially considering he was the father of the bun that was currently baking in her oven. Beckett was fairly certain that Castle hadn't told anyone yet, mostly out of respect for her wishes. Though she knew he was just bursting at the seams with the need to tell his family. And everyone else, except those in-the-know, were oblivious to what had happened two months ago.

So as far as the boys and the rest of the precinct were concerned, Castle and her had just started dating a month ago. Her confession in the break room had been public, more public than she would have liked, but thankfully the door had been closed, and though the blinds had been opened, their voices had not carried (even when they had been heated). So no one had actually heard what had been said, only seeing the reactions.

Turning back to her cell, Beckett sent a quick text message back to Castle. Barely ten seconds had passed after she had pressed the send button before her phone started ringing. She glanced down at the screen and saw a picture of Castle's smiling face. Beckett immediately pressed the answer button and brought it up to her ear.

"Castle, we have an emergency!" Beckett hissed into the phone, trying to keep her voice quiet. She kept her eyes peeled for any eavesdroppers.

"Whoa! Hold you're horses, Beckett," came his slightly amused voice from the other end. "What's the problem?"

"Problem? No… not problem, rather problems, as in the plural, as in multiple!" Beckett spoke in a rapid breath, her eyes darting around terrified she was going to be overheard. She had never really been good at keeping her emotions a secret (well, except from the one person who was most important—i.e., Castle). All her other close friends seemed capable of reading her like a book. Lanie for one, not to mention Esposito, who had been one of the firsts to flat out tell her that Castle wasn't just following her around to get material for a book.

"All right," Castle replied in a calm voice. "Talk to me."

"My dad," was all Beckett had to say.

The other end went silent. She could hear his breath hitch up a bit, as he no doubt realized the gravity of the situation. "You… you haven't told him yet, have you?" Castle finally answered, his voice raising just a pitch.

"No," Beckett lowered her voice. Out of the corner of her eyes, she spotted Esposito arching his neck to look over at her. Dammit! She hunched down a bit, trying to hide behind her computer monitor, quite literally feeling the curious eyes coming from across the room.

There was no doubt in her mind that Esposito and Ryan had started to become suspicious when she had not immediately jumped up after having a brisk and efficient conversation with the caller. The two must have assumed that it was dispatch, calling to inform her of a homicide that needed investigating. But now that she had remained on the phone for a longer period of time, the two detectives were intrigued, their interests peaked.

"Castle?" she spoke softly, concerned over his lack of a response.

"I… uh… um…," he was stammering, starting to sound nervous. "I… do… Yes, I… um… I can… er… see how that might be a problem."

Just by how terrified and anxious he sounded over the phone, Beckett imagined Castle ducking down for cover as if concerned her father would come at him with a shotgun for besmirching his daughter's honor. The image alone was amusing, because she could never picture Jim Beckett doing something like that. He was protective of her, yes—like any father—but he respected and trusted her judgment, aware that she had grown up a long time ago. However, whatever amusement she found at the idea of it, Beckett was too entrenched in panic mode to really take notice.

"Castle?" she questioned, having heard the other end of the line go silent again.

"I'm still here… I think?" came his response. "A little terrified, but yes, I'm here."

"Well, we've also need to tell Martha and Alexis at some point," she said.

"Yes, I know," he agreed in a deep sigh.

Beckett peeked over the edge of her monitor and saw the boys craning their necks to get a better view of her, their brows furrowed with curiosity. Esposito was in the process of flipping his cell open, and Beckett just knew he was probably texting Lanie for some info on what might be going on.

Ducking back down, Beckett turned her back to them. "I've got to go," she whispered into her cell. "The boys are starting to get curious."

"You want me to come in?" Castle inquired, very sincere, with a touch of hope mixed in. She smiled slightly, thinking he probably missed her just as much as she missed him.

"No, that's all right," she replied quickly. "I think I can handle them. I get off for lunch at 11:30. I'll swing by and pick you up. We'll discuss it then."

"Okay," Castle sighed, sounding disappointed.

Suddenly a wicked thought struck her. For a moment, she blushed. She had never had such thoughts until Castle had come into her life. Yep, there was no doubt in her mind... he was definitely a bad influence on her. But it wasn't a bad kind of bad. It was more of a good kind of bad.

Beckett grinned mischievously. "We don't have to be at the doctor's until 12:30, so… maybe we can have a quickie in your office," she lowered her voice and then tried to speak as seductively as she could. "I've always had this fantasy of you bending me over your desk and taking me from behind. You know… feeling that heated passion that practically screams in agonizing pleasure off the pages of those brilliant sex scenes you write oh so well."

Castle groaned on the other end. "Oh… you are such a tease!"

She smiled wickedly, pleased with herself, and a little shocked she had just revealed to him one of her secret fantasies. "Is that a yes, then?" she asked into the phone, trying to conceptualize the realization that one of her longest running sexual fantasies might indeed soon become a reality. Beckett involuntarily shivered from the anticipation.

"Oh, most certainly, my dear detective," Castle purred on the other end.

Beckett caught her breath for a moment, already starting to visualize it. "I… I've got to go."

"Okay," he sighed. "Kate?"

"Rick?" she knitted her eyebrows together, worried over the change in his tone.

"I… I feel stupid for asking this, but I can't really tell over the phone," Castle spoke, sounding almost embarrassed. "Were you just teasing, or did you mean that stuff… about that fantasy… in my office?"

"Oh," Beckett involuntarily blushed. She hadn't realized he was unsure of her intentions. Usually he was so good at telling when she was teasing him, but she guessed that with the change in their relationship it was going to become more difficult for him to tell when she was teasing, and when she was being serious.

"Well?" he inquired when she was silent for a little too long.

Sighing, Beckett ran her fingers through her hair. "No… I wasn't teasing, Castle," she informed him. "I wouldn't have teased you like that, not now that we're together, and especially if I had no intention of delivering on my end, so… are we good?"

"If that's the case, then absolutely, we're better than good, we're great," she could literally hear the beaming smile on his face, no doubt as happy as a clam that he was going to get lucky once again this morning, and in just under four hours, no less.

"Castle... I—"

"Me, too," he cut her off before she could finish.

Swallowing back the words she had almost said, even though they were the truth and they both knew it, Beckett was silently grateful for his interruption. "Thanks," she said instead.

"Always," Castle replied, the emotion behind the word oh so clear in his voice. It was more than just a word; it was a promise.

As she hung up, Beckett's cheeks flushed a bright pink. Oh God, I almost said it… I almost said, "I love you" over the phone. She leaned back, stunned. There was really no reason for it, she had already declared her love, but they had yet to whisper those three tremendous words to one another, instead settling comfortably with "Always." But Beckett knew that for Castle it meant the same thing. The emotion behind his voice whenever he had said it, both now and before, was the same as when someone would say, "I love you" and truly mean it.

Blushing even more, Beckett chewed on her lower lip and turned back to her computer monitor, unconsciously twirling a strand of hair in her fingers.

XXX

"OH GOD… RICK… YES!" Beckett screamed at the top of her lungs. "YES!"

Immediately her cheeks flushed with embarrassment at having yelled so loud, but her concern was soon pushed aside, as Castle leaned over her and nuzzled the back of her neck, kissing and nibbling at her ear. His hands were roaming up her sides, pulling her up off the desk, pressing her back to his chest. She grinned and clenched him, causing him to let out a moan as his hands hooked around her and grabbed her breasts, his fingers softly kneading them through her blouse.

Beckett had let herself into the loft with the key he had given her half a year ago (in case of an emergency, he had said). Quietly closing the door, she locked it, and then slipped out of her high heels. Slowly dropping her bag, she listened to the soft typing coming from his office. Grinning, Beckett pulled off her jacket and placed it on the coat hanger, before padding across the living room and across the spacious loft to the door that led to his office.

When she poked her head in, Beckett smiled to herself, seeing Castle leaning back in his chair with his laptop in his lap as he typed away furiously. Running her lower lip through her teeth, she slipped through and knocked on the door.

Castle immediately looked up from the screen and grinned. Closing his laptop, he placed it down on the small table behind his desk. Beckett grinned like she had never grinned before and immediately begin unbuttoning her pants. Castle did the same. There was no need for foreplay; they were both always ready for each other. They collided in a fierce frenzy of kissing, each attempting to shove their tongue into the others mouth.

Grabbing her around the waist, Castle roughly tugged her slacks and panties down, as she did likewise with his jeans and boxers down. She grabbed a hold of him in fingers and started to stroke him as he sprawled his hands over her covered breasts, all the while they kissed and explored each other's mouths with their tongues. When he was nice and hard in her hand, she backed up—pulling him with her—until the backs of her thighs hit the edge of his desk. Raising her eyebrows at him, she encouraged him to do what she wanted him to do. Smiling, Castle spun her around in his arms and bent her over his desk.

She planted her palms on the mahogany surface, shivering in delight as she heard him spit on his fingers before touching her down their, spreading her legs and then pushing up into her. She clenched with her inner muscles as he filled her, coaxing a groan from his lips as he leaned over her and grunted into the back of her hair as he began moving back and forth. Beckett's eyes rolled into the back of her head as she reveled in the reality of one of her fantasies coming to life.

Feeling him nuzzle his nose against her ear and hearing him breathe in deeply of her scent, Beckett was pulled back to the present. She blushed slightly, embarrassed that she had let her mind wander, having lost herself in the overwhelming moment of bliss Castle always seemed to bring her too.

"Mmm, cherries," he mumbled, sounding very much pleased. He kissed her neck, and then, pulling a disappointed groan from her throat, slipped out of her.

Heaving in big gulps of air, Beckett turned around and reached down to pull up her panties and slacks. Glancing up at him from under her eyebrows, she grinned. "Told you I wasn't teasing," she said, feeling very satisfied.

Castle sucked in a deep breath, cooling his flush cheeks from his own release as he worked at zipping up his jeans. "Next time, I'll believe you, then," he winked, his lips curling up into a smile. His eyes sparkled and she saw the mutual desire she had for him reflecting back at her.

Chewing on her lower lip, Beckett reached up and placed a hand on his chest, resting it just above his heart. "Castle…," she murmured softly, wondering if now was the right time.

He placed his hand over hers. A boyish smirk touched his lips. "Just like Han Solo… I know," Castle spoke softly. Though he was joking, she could tell he was sincere.

Sighing contently, Beckett leaned forward as they kissed slowly. She let out a soft moan as his arm hooked around her waist and pulled her closer. She could feel the grin on his lips as he pulled back.

"We should get a quick bite before we drive out to the doctor's office," he said, leading her out of his office and into the kitchen. "After all, Miss Beckett, you are eating for two."