Thank you all so much the reviews, subscriptions, favorites, and everything!
I have some ideas plotted out on where to take this, but any ideas you have I am so open to!
And, I got some reviews saying that they thought it was unrealistic for Jane to go home on her own, so I thought about it, and managed to come up with this. You'll see.
Also, I'd like to especially thank Crayolakid0413, and Ts for the reviews, because I have some ideas from your notes, so thank you!
Shutting the door behind herself, she turned around to look at the three men who were staring at her. Frost, Korsak, and Frankie had insisted they take her home. It took awhile, but she finally convinced herself that they could look after her for a little bit, and she had also finally convinced them to sleep in their own beds tonight, and her hers.
"Do you guys want anything to drink?" She asked as she shuffled over to the kitchen area. Pulling out three beers and a water she watched as they sat down at the island. The beers landed on the island and were retrieved by three thirsty, and tired men.
"Thanks." They all said in unison.
"Janie, are you sure you're going to be alright? I mean, you… you tried…." Frankie couldn't even say it. He was so dumbstruck that she tried that. That he didn't see the pain his sister was in.
"I'll be fine guys. Now, come on. Go home. You all need it. You all need to sleep. You've been up all night." Jane escorted them to the door, and practically pushed them out. Once she was alone, she decided to call Maura.
'Call me when you get home.' she had said. She told Jane to call her. Jane had been calling her. For the last four months Jane had been calling her, and got absolutely zero answers. Never once had Maura answered her calls, and now. Now, she wanted Jane to call.
"Pathetic." Jane mumbled to herself. Picking up her phone, she stared at it. She was to call Maura, and this time expect an answer. Dialing the familiar number, she waited. Ring, ring. Ring, ring. Four rings, and it went to voice mail. Jane pressed the button on her phone ending the call. Of course Maura would do that. 'She played me.' Jane thought. 'She told me to call. She knew I had been calling. She knew.' Jane thought. She threw her phone down. Tears spilled out of her eyes and down her face. 'So naïve. Why didn't I think she'd do that?'
Walking to her room, she looked at the familiar bed. All she wanted to do was lie down, and curl up in it. But she couldn't. She went to her bathroom to clean up. Walking in, her eyes were immediately directed to the reddish-brown stain on the floor. Blood. Her blood. Blood, that meant pain. Anger. Sadness. Blood, that meant weakness. She ignored it, and looked at herself in the mirror. Looking into her own eyes, she saw something she hadn't seen in a while. Determination. But, right next to it, was sadness. Anger, guilt. Why hadn't she thought of that? That Maura would do that to her?
Jane hadn't thought of these, because deep, deep down, she knew Maura would never do that to her. Maura wouldn't hurt her like that, ever again.
~~~{Rizzoli and Isles}~~~
Stepping into her bedroom, she looked at her phone. One missed call. She read the name. Jane Rizzoli. A name she had ignored for months. She had told Jane to call her. And, Maura hadn't answered it, just like she had been doing. Maura felt terrible. Jane was probably blaming herself right now. Blaming herself because she trusted Maura to pick up.
Maura picked up the phone right away, and grabbed a jacket, and her purse. Dialing Jane's number she got in her car, and immediately went in the direction of Jane's apartment.
"The number you have called is not in service at this time. Please try again later." The phone said. Maura had no idea what was happening right now, but a sense of dread washed over her. She knew it was naïve for her to think Jane would be fine to be on her own tonight. She knew it was naïve for her to think that Jane was just angry, and a little bit annoyed, and that's why she refused Maura's company. Maura also knew, that it was naïve of her to think Jane wouldn't try it again. Maura knew that people who had tried to commit suicide, and failed were prone, and vulnerable to doing it again. But Maura didn't listen. She didn't listen to herself, and for the first time, she knew what Jane was feeling. With every call Jane made to Maura. Maura was now at the opposite end of it. Now she was the one calling over and over again. Wishing, hoping, that this time, Jane would pick up.
Tears streamed down Maura's face. She didn't want to get there too late. This time, she might be too late, and that's what scared Maura. Also, the tears were for the pain she had caused. The pain that made Jane a cripple, vulnerable. Vulnerable to pain. Vulnerable to so many things, all that were caused by this simple act. This is what it feels like. What Jane went through. And, at that moment, Maura hated herself even more than she had been, ever before.
Maura pulled up to Jane's apartment, and jumped out as soon as the car stopped. Running up to the building, and to Jane's apartment, she knocked loudly, yelling for Jane to open up. It was the middle of the day on a weekday, so just about everyone in the complex was at work, or at least out of the building. She shoved the key in the hole, and opened the door wide and forcefully. Running to the bedroom she saw Jane. In a ball in the middle of her bed. Maura frantically looking around, looking for pills, blood, anything that would harm, or cause damage. She kneeled next to Jane's bed. Putting shaky fingers on the detective's neck to check if she had a pulse, she was relieved when she felt the soft bum bum. Bum bum. Jane's heart. The blood coursing through Jane Rizzoli's veins.
Jane's eyes opened, seeing Maura there next to her bed. Maura had an expression that screamed the word relieved. Tears sprang to her eyes at the M.E.'s presence there. 'Why would she be here? Why? All she's done these last few months have hurt me. Maybe I shouldn't be grateful she came. Maybe I should be angry. All she saved me for was just the opportunity to break me down even more.' Jane thought.
Maura saw the opened eyes, and also saw the tears. As one leaked out, Maura then realized everything Jane was thinking. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. When you called I was in the shower. I'm sorry, I should've waited. I'm so, so sorry Jane! I never meant to hurt you again like that."
Maura had apologized. Said she was sorry. Jane couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Jane, I want you to come to my house. I don't feel safe without you there. I'm afraid you'll…" Maura's talk just faded away. "Please. Please come. I need you there. In my bed. With me." Jane just nodded. She didn't know exactly what Maura had just said, but she was too shocked that she had apologized.
Walking into Maura's house, Maura went straight to the fridge. "Would you like anything?" She asked.
"No. Thank you though." Jane responded, looking around. Maura's house had changed since she had last been. Slight changes, but dominant choices. The stained glass window was now gone, and it was just a regular one. Some candles were done and whatnot.
They walked to Maura's room and sat down on the edge of the bed. Jane looked over herself, "I need a shower." She said and started moving to the bathroom.
"Here, let me help you." Maura offered. She moved to the bathroom where Jane was staring at her wrists wrapped in gauze. "I can…" Maura started. Jane just nodded, and delicate fingers undid the wrapping.
Once Maura got them both off, she left. Maura had refused to look at them. Refused to look at the scars, but Jane stared at them. The entire time, Jane just looked at them.
She stepped into the shower. It was turned up real high, but she didn't even notice. She didn't register the burning heat that came with each drop. All she could register was the red line that she had inflicted herself. She grabbed the soap, and carefully washed her body, trying to make sure there was no contact between the soap and the line. The line that meant pain. That meant she had given up. Weakness, but also strength. Because she got through it. She lived.
During the shower, Jane squatted down, and resided in the corner. She started sobbing. All the pain, all the emotions colliding together in this moment, came crashing down on top of her. Overwhelming emotions. She didn't know how long she was in that position before Maura was turning the water off, and pulling her out of the small space. She didn't realize that Maura had wrapped a big towel around Jane's shaking body, or that she had somehow managed to be lying down on Maura's bed.
Later, as she was falling asleep, now aware of her surroundings, Jane didn't understand how all of this was done, without her even knowing. Like, how did Maura manage to put her socks on? How did Maura put on her underwear, and bra? Her shirt and pants? How did Maura do all of this without Jane even knowing, or realizing? How had Maura get her under the covers, and on her side?
These were the thoughts Jane experienced as she fell asleep. As she drifted off into her most vulnerable state. As she veered away, as she meandered away, for the first time. For the first time in months, in Maura Isles' bed.
I have a lot of ideas, and a lot planned, so I hope you're all in for the long haul with me!
