Nervous Breakdown

summary: 'I am now wet, in my swim suit, and being held bridal style by Uchiha Sasuke, who is wet, shirtless, and really, really, really hott. And I just had to go and start hyperventilating...'

timeline: an AU Fanfic, set with the characters being in college

note: Here's Part Three, the last part, but there will also be an epilogue.


Part III - Futsukayoi no Jutsu: The Art Of The Hangover

I woke up Saturday morning, feeling absolutely horrid, and absolutely great.

The sucktastic part was just how I felt physically - an insane, psycho hangover was making my head feel like someone had split it open with a meat cleaver. My neck felt like seriously screwed up for sleeping on the couch all night and I'd lost all feeling in my right leg, since Ino fell asleep on it and is now snoring her freaking lungs out.

So, last night, after we got home from Kohl's, I actually felt spontaneous, and got in that stupid, glittery red cocktail dress that Ino forces me to keep in the back of my closet for rare instances like this when I actually agree to go out with her. So I went with her to some club where she was meeting Shikamaru or whatever and we got drunk and wound up walking back to my apartment holding our high heels in our hands and tipsily singing crappy Disney Channel songs while we swaggered barefoot through peoples' grass and jumped fences in our skimpy dresses. Then when we finally made it to my apartment at 3 am, and my landlady, Uruchi, is so kick-ass awesome that that she saw we were drunk and opened my loft with the extra key she has at the front desk, because we were obviously too wasted to find my key. I love you, Uruchi! So yeah, then me and Ino just sort of passed out on the couch.

... Yeah.

So I got drunk! Sue me! This happens to Ino every weekend, which is how Uruchi knows Ino by name and made her that extra key, since every weekend she comes stumbling into my apartment and always winds up spending the weekend there - we're practically roommates. Well, seriously, what aren't me and Ino? Sisters, bffs, classmates, roommates, drinking mates (I'm usually there to be the sober ride home, except, well, last night) mother/daughter, we do it all. And once, in our junior year in high school, our pre-cal teacher, Ms. Yuhi, accidentally overheard us pretending to fool around with each other outside of her classroom, and for the whole second semester she thought we were actually lesbian and kept looking at us funny in class.

So waking up and feeling the hangover, the blisters on my feet from my stupid heels, the scrapes on my knees from jumping fences, and Ino's snoring rupturing my eardrums, understandably the first thing I do is crawl off the couch to my bathroom and swallow like half a bottle of aspirin. Owwwwww... I took a shower while I was at it, since my knees are stained green and full of little bits of grass from falling in peoples' yards. And there's the fact that Ino fell asleep on me and now I have little bits of blue glitter from her dress stuck all over my skin. Holy crapola, how drunk did I get last night?!

I got out of the shower and wrapped myself up in my favorite green plaid pajamas. I walked into the kitchen, trying to brush the wreck that was my wet hair, and found Ino as I wrestled with the comb, sitting at my countertop on a bar stool with her coffee, looking all... balanced. Glare. I do this like, maybe once a month, usually a few months, while Ino has tons of practice. She has mastered the art of the hangover.

"Morning, princess," she beamed brightly at me, patting the stool beside her. I practically fell out of the chair when I tried to sit on it. Don't smirk, you bitch!

"Wow, if I had known that getting you and Sasuke to have a 'moment' would get you to go out and drink with me, I would've started plotting months ago!" she grinned widely at me, "Well, now that I know about these loverly results, now we can get him to double date with you, me, and Shika! And then you two could get drunk and go back to his place and-

"Ino! God, you're such a whore!"

"Takes one to know one, Sak. Don't think I don't hear you in your sleep. Ahem. 'Sasuke... mm... ooh, oh, Sasuke! Eek!'" she imitated in this voice that is way too high to supposed to be me.

Ah, and that brings us to the reason I felt good while also feeling so bad. Sasuke, the peanut butter to my chocolate, because everybody knows ever since Reese's were invented, jelly has so been gone from the equation. I am like uber-impressed with myself for actually managing to talk to him like a normal person without sounding like seriously stupid. Even Ino's proud of me. So, yeah, well, last night since I was feeling so prideful and confident, and I owed it all to the devious, blonde brain that is Yamanaka Ino, I decided to do something for her - i.e. go get wasted with her.

Well, it makes sense to us.

"Damn, you look like crap, Forehead," Ino informed me bluntly. I scowled. "Here, coffee plus hangover equals cured," she told me, pushing the pot towards me and grinning smugly. So that's how she gets through the morning after. Huh, never would have guessed - I'm more of a tea person. Well, it does look a lot healthier than practically ODing on ibuprofen like I usually do.

"No way. Coffee is so gross! I'd definitely rather suffer."

"Yeah, right, Sakura. You're such a pansy when it comes to pain."

"It doesn't hurt that bad! And stop shouting!"

"-sigh- If you just drink the stupid coffee, I'll work my magic on your hair, which is looking quite craptastic this morning, might I add," Ino negotiated. Damn her, and her ozone destroying hair products.

Grumbling, I reached for the coffee and poured an entire cup of sugar in it, because this really is too good of a deal to pass up, and Ino scooted her bar stool closer to mine and whipped out a brush and her curling iron.

"Oh, my God, did you actually get the comb stuck in your hair? OMG, I can't get it out!"


Awhile later, I walked to my front door in my socks, looking for my keys. "Later, Ino!" I shouted, "My head still hurts, so I'm going for a walk. I've got my cell phone on me, 'kay?"

Okay, she never does call, but still. What if the apartment burned down in a freak forest fire or got struck by lightning or something? It could happen! Don't you people watch the Discovery Channel? One word: Pompeii!

"Where are you going?" Ino asked, appearing out of my bedroom where a Lifetime movie was blaring, wrapped in my comforter. She watched as I dug around under a table for my dark blue Converses.

"I don't really know. I'll figure it out when I get there." As long as it's somewhere where there's fresh air.

"Body inspection," Ino trilled, throwing the blanket in the bedroom and waiting for me to comply. So close. I should have just left. I sighed, not wanting to argue when nice, headache-healing fresh air was just downstairs. I stood up and stuck out my arms, spinning around slowly for her.

"Good," she said approvingly, not even bothering to bite my head off for pairing my blue jeans with the soft, long-sleeved purple shirt that I "borrowed" from her a week ago. See? I can be fashionable - I just choose not to. But how could anything not look nice with how she did my hair, down and curled a little. Yeah, we got the comb out, but we wound up breaking it in half before it would come. Poor comb.

"Put some eyeliner on and you'll be perfect."

"Inoooooo, I'm going to a park. I don't need make-up for that."

"But, honey, some of the hottest guys can be found at parks. So eyeliner. Black. Now."

"Hmph."

"There. Now you look totally hott." She sounds proud of herself.

"Gee, thanks. I just live for your approval, you know, Ino." Sar. Casm.

"I know you do."

"Oh, go watch Lifetime."


There's this really nice park that I like, about a mile from my apartment. It's really huge, and it's around this really irregular shaped lake that is totally cool, with all these ducks that do nothing but harass people for food. There's this nice, winding sidewalk path that goes all the way around the lake, with plenty of trees and pretty grass, not the crappy, under-watered stuff. My favorite spot is on this little sort of peninsula (vocabulary quiz! peninsula: a land-form surrounded by water on three sides) that's sort of on a hill, and on the peninsula there's no path, just grass, trees, and a good view of the lake. There's also a playground and tennis courts and picnic tables there, only those are off to the side, and most people stick over there. That makes the path around the lake a nice, quiet, unpopulated place for me to walk or sit.

Right now I'm sitting on the peninsula, with my sketchbook. I'm just sort of absentmindedly sketching the surface of the water, sucking in the nice, cold, head-clearing air and daydreaming a little about certain raven haired boys who are nice enough to go buy their moms stuff for their birthdays on their own. Yes, yes, I'm crazy and obsessive. As if I don't already know that.

Anyway, I finished drawing the lake, when I saw this couple, a boy and a girl, in high school I guess, sitting together on this bench. I kind of liked their pose, so I slammed my sketchbook closed and stood up, brushing grass and dirt off my butt. I gripped my drawings and started walking back up to the sidewalk path to find a bench where I could draw them without them seeing me but still have a good perspective.

So I'm like almost on the sidewalk when this rude asshole on a bike comes speeding down the path, and totally almost runs over this guy. The guy was about a yard in front of me, walking on the path, before he had to throw himself out of the way, and, coincidentally, right into me. We almost fall over into the grass, but his reflexes get him to grab my shoulders and keep us balanced. And that's when I look up at whoever this guy is that I'm suddenly pressed up against who's holding my shoulders, like an embrace, only I have no idea who the hell it is? Or do I?

Oh, God.

"S-sasuke?!" I gasp out.

At his name, he looks down and his eyes widen as he recognises me, and he lets go of me really fast and takes a step back, which just makes me lose my balance, seeing as we're kind of on a hill and I was kind of leaning backwards, so he jumps forward and manages to grab me again. This time though, he doesn't let go of me until he's dragged me to the path. Oh, God, I can already feel my face going all red.

"Sakura?"

"Hey. Wow, twice in one weekend," I say, and try to smile and control my voice, which won't stop shaking. Damn, I'm weak. This is almost like that time in the pool. At least I'm not hyperventilating. Yet.

"I swear, I'm not stalking you," he said, sounding really serious and staring back into my eyes with this kind of pleading look. Like he thought I was going to freak out and run away and he really didn't want me to. Hey, I've done so many weird things in the past, he may think I'll actually do that.

"It's okay - I really didn't think you were," I said, offering a nice smile, "Life's full of coincidences, is all." He slowly smiles back. Some lady who was jogging with a dog on a leash stopped in front of us on the path, like she was waiting for something, then sighed and went around us through the grass. We both realised at the same time that we were kind of blocking people's way just standing there, so we started walking side by side together, by unspoken agreement.

"So, I'm sorry. About the knocking into you. Are you okay?" he asked me, looking at me sideways.

"Yeah, don't worry about it. Just some asshole on a bike's fault." Mr. Asshole, I love you, I love you, I love you for this!

We were quiet for a minute, just slowly walking around the lake. I cleared my throat and turned my head to look at him. He made his eyes unfocus really fast, but I'm pretty sure he had been looking at me. Oh, God. Am I sweating my eyeliner off or something? Okay, it's like September, like that could happen where I live, but still. Why else would he stare at me?

"So, what are you doing around here anyway?" I asked casually, trying not to let the potential fact that Uchiha Sasuke, love of my freaking life (not that he knows that) may or may not have been staring at me, freak me out.

"Oh. Yeah, you know how it's my mom's birthday?" I nodded, remembering our conversation in the Kohl's parking lot last night. Wow that was a weird sentence. Anyway. "Well, my dad took her out and left me and my older brother to make a cake."

"Aa."

"Yeah. Itachi's in culinary school since he already earned his law degree to appease my dad, and I burn toast on a regular basis. He kicked me out of the house." I snickered and he rolled his eyes but I saw the smirk.

"So, how about you?" Sasuke asked me, kicking a rock into the grass and turning to look at me, his dark bangs falling into his smouldering, onyx eyes. He's freaking looking at you, idiot, don't you dare blush! Damn, he's too hott for his own good.

"Just drawing a little. Clearing my head." From a hangover spawned from a night of debauchery with my best friend... not that I'd tell him that...

"Oh. You're an artist?" I nodded, holding out the arm with my sketchbook. "May I see?"

I bit my lip, hesitated for a minute, then decided that if he was the man I love, shouldn't I trust him enough to show him a book of doodles? I held out the book, and immediately glued my eyes to the floor, flushing crimson with embarrassment, already regretting it. It was quiet for awhile as we walked, with only the sound of flipping paper. Then he handed me back my book.

"... Wow, that's really impressive work, Sakura. You're like a professional."

"Really?" I inquired, my voice thick with disbelief. He nodded, smiling a little.

"There are a lot of drawings of this place - do you come hear a lot?"

"Yeah," I said, tucking a lock of long, wavy pink hair behind my ear, "I did a bunch of water studies here. The lake was perfect for that."

So we walked around and around the park for several hours, talking.


"Oh, you should have seen it! Senior year in master class, Gaara didn't have a pencil and Mr. Hatake got all pissed off at him and told him he'd 'better find himself a damn pencil' but he wouldn't let any of the other clarinets lend him one. So he's like wandering the room, looking for a pencil, and Mr. Hatake's like 'hurry up!' and Gaara just like blows up and screams 'DO YOU WANT ME TO CHOP DOWN A TREE AND MAKE ONE?!' ", we were practically doubled over with laughter as I was telling Sasuke about all the stupid stuff me and the clarinet section used to do in our high school band.

"Wow, the saxophones never had any crazy fun like that. Neji was always biting our heads off about something," Sasuke grinned.

"... I could see that happening." I cracked up. Hyuga Neji has a pole stuck up his ass like permanently when it comes to the saxophone. It's a little scary.

So there we are, laughing it up on the sidewalk, and understand that we're on the opposite side of the lake from where this started, and the street goes by only a few feet from the sidewalk on this side. So here we are walking, when this passing car honks at us, well, actually me, because they kind of lowered the windows and all these guys whooped at me and called me 'hott stuff'. Damn perverts. I'm kind of used to it, because it happens at least once any time I'm out walking, so I just ignore it. Sasuke, apparently, is not used to it. He stopped laughing and got all tense, glaring after the retreating car. Well, I kind of dismissed the reaction, but then it happened again. Louder.

"-honk- -honk- Hey, hottie! Dump the stiff and come take a ride with us!"

I flushed a little but otherwise just crossed my arms and ignored them. Sasuke, however, looked like seriously pissed off. Like he wanted to kick him some immature pervert ass, and soon. Well, he didn't (duh, they were like in a car - do you think he's going to go running off into the street, screaming, after some car?) Instead he walked on the other side of me, shielding me from view, and took my hand and started walking really fast over towards the other side of the park. If I didn't know any better, I would think Sasuke has jealousy issues, but that's not possible, because it's not like I'm his girlfriend or anything. Maybe he just hates rude people who harass women.

So we've made it back to the other side of the park now, and my face is all red and my heart feels like it's thumping really hyperactively, because he's still holding my hand. More slowly, he leads me over to this bench, one of my favorite benches actually, because it's got this really good view of this grove of trees that I draw quite frequently. Sasuke's finally let go of my hand and we're both just sitting quietly, facing straight ahead of us. And then I hear That Voice.

"Can it be? My lovely Sakura?!"

Sasuke snaps his head around to the direction of the user's voice, and I groan and slump down in the bench.

Lee. Damn it.

"Hello, Sakura!" Rock Lee, this guy from my Latin class, who appears to be quite... attached to me, is calling. He comes running over to our bench and bows in front of me, "And might I say you are looking absolutely stunning today! Your loveliness makes the wondrous place around us pale at the very thought of comparison to your radiance! Please, accept these flowers!" he confessed boldly, holding out a couple of daisies.

"Er... uh... thank you, Lee. They're beautiful. That's really sweet," I offer, plucking the flowers out of his hand and resting them in my lap. He beamed at me. Next to me, Sasuke started coughing, only it sounded kind of weird, like he was faking it.

At the sound, Lee turned to look at the man next to me, then flinched.

"Um, I will see you later, Sakura. I see I must be too late, for my actions seem to have angered your boyfriend. I will just see you in our youthful Latin class, but as a friend! Goodbye!" and then he just ran off, as quickly as he'd come. For some reason, than boy seems to run everywhere. He left so fast I couldn't even tell him that Sasuke wasn't my boyfriend, which was very embarrassing.

I turned to Sasuke, my face really red and ready to apologise or deny the boyfriend crack (as much as I wished it were true) or something, but now he was glaring after Lee really scarily. Has he always glared this much?

"Sasuke, I-

"He's right, you know," he cut me off suddenly, turning to face me, "They're right. You look really pretty today. Especially today," he said, and he raised up a hand and gently tucked a few strands of hair back behind my ear. I felt my face go beet red as I felt his fingertips brush the side of my face.

"Well, u-uh, thanks," I managed to choke out. If there's anything I've learned, it's that it's a stupid idea to just sit there blushing without saying anything. It makes you look really weird.

He smiled, dropping his hand back into his lap, and meshed his fingers together, "Um, Sakura? Can I ask you something?"

"Uh, sure?"

He suddenly looked kind of shy, fidgeting with his fingers, and the back of his neck looked kind of flushed, which I've taken to mean that he's embarrassed.

"Will you, go... out with me?"

... what?!

Oh. My. God. OMG OMG OMG OMG! What? Where the hell did that come from?! Oh, my God!

"- You don't have to if you don't want to, I mean, I was just wondering. Sorry - stupid idea, I'll just go away now and-

"Yes."

"Huh?" he turned back to look at me.

"Yes, I want to go out with you."

"Really?"

"Yes, I do," I grinned. I felt like shouting it to the whole freaking, wonderful world, but I didn't, because that would be stupid. Ino, however, would be the one to go deaf tonight.

"Heh, that's great! That's awesome!" he beamed, and swept me up in this big hug.

Yes it is.


So, there's the third and final part, but there will be an epilogue coming out soon as chapter four. I wrote most of it last night, so it should be up soon. Thank you guys so much, anyone, who spent any time at all out of their lives reading this story. It was one of the most fun things I've written in a long time.

Becca: This is for your awesome, navy blue Converses that I seriously envy. Am I such a freak for wearing aqua ones?

So once again, thank you infinitely for reading and for your feedback, which I love. Epilogue coming soon. Much love!