EVERYBODY LOVES KARKAT

CHAPTER THREE: WHEN PEOPLE CHANGE, TRY NOT TO FOLLOW SUIT

BY unnoticedTurmoil


Gamzee is gone again. You know he's gone because you woke up in the bathroom. You woke up and you were in the bathroom. He always puts you in the bathroom when he leaves. He doesn't like it when you want to go with him. You miss him. You always do when he leaves. You check the door. It's locked. How does he get you out and in if the door is always locked?

OH!

He left you a pie!

IS THAT TOOTHPASTE?!

You are so gonna paint with this shit. You start painting things on your arms before you relize your arms aren't big enough. You take your shirt off. Now you can paint on your tummy! (:B

You paint all over your tummy until you see another pie.

HE LEFT YOU TWO PIES! :D

You eat the other pie. You are sleepy. You are feeling sleepy. You take a nap.


HolY ShIt.

Karkat has no shirt on. and he is passed out on the floor again. You have no idea why you leave him in the bathroom when you know he's going to get into shit. It's a good thing you took out all of the motherfucking sharp things.

WhAt Is ThAt? IS that TOOTHPASTE?!

Sigh. You just went to the store and he wasted the toothpaste. You just bought that! It is such a hassle to act all doped and up in front of those motherfucking lowbloods! But if you didn't they would take Karkat. That fucking lowblood has no idea how much you flush for him. Why?! Why would he be flushed for you?! Why can't you have him?! You notice your club is in your hand and the groceries are on the floor.

KILL HIM.

no.

HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU AND HE NEVER WILL.

You can still woo him.

HE WON'T LOVE YOU.

He might.

HE WON'T.

WHY WOULD HE LOVE A MOTHERFUCKING HIGHBLOOD?

HE HAS NO BLOOD COLOR.

That's why he should love you.

BECAUSE YOU HAVE HIGH BLOOD?

THAT IS STUPID.

YOU ARE STUPID.

HE WILL HATE YOU FOR YOUR BLOOD.

No!

he will not!

You could keep him safe!

HE WILL BE AFRAID OF YOU.

WHY NOT MAKE HIM?

He is a princess!

You have to protect the princess!

A PRINCESS MUST BE WANTED RIGHT?

BY HEROS AND VILLIANS.

WHO DOESN'T LIKE A GOOD VILLIAN?

a knight!

You will be his knight!

The princess always falls for the knight!

A DARK KNIGHT.

THE ONE THAT NO ONE LOVES.

A white knight!

The one everyone loves!

YOU motherfuckers NEED to SHUT up. I will NOT be TOLD what TO do. YOU will NOT tell ME what TO do.

You pick up Karkat and lay him on the couch.


"KNIGHT! OF! BLOOD! KNIGHT! OF! BLOOD! KNIGHT! OF! BLOOD! KNIGHT.."

You are the dream self of KARKAT VANTAS and you do not want to be here. Your tower adjusts to your current interests, and it is currently filled with sopor pies. You do not know how you feel about this, but after you ate some of them, you realized you like this very much. But you do not like all those Prospitian people yelling at your tower. You've been stuck here for a while. Whenever you go out there are all these stupid carapaced chess idiots who follow you around. No matter how much you yell at them they still follow you. Even on those occations you accidentally took the wrong transpotalizer to Derse and Skaia, the locals followed you around. You clamp your hands over your ears. Why can't they take a hint when you don't come down from this damn tower?! Suddenly Gamzee is beside you, hugging you into his chest. When he lets go, you're in his tower on Derse. You'll never understand how he gets around so fast. He hands you a pie and you smile at him as you stick your hand in it and shovel out a bite. You remember that no carapaced chess idiots ever come near his tower. You're so lucky to have a great morail!


Fuck! Are you sure that stupid human didn't screw you over? "Seeing him in the clouds" bluh. Stupid green text human female. Why would kk be in a Dersite tower? You've checked most of them, all of them except Gamzee's and Aradia's. Aradia is dead, so there really was no point, and Gamzee just makes you nervous. He fly up to his window and look in. you can'y believe it! There's kk eating pie with Gamzee! but something about Gamzee is making you nervous…

"kk?"

Gamzee looks at you with a look that could kill a milk-hoofbeast. Then his expression changes to that of his usually dopey clown smile. Kk looks up.

"HIII SOOOLUUUX! :D"

"kk are you ok?"

Your worried. Why was kk eating sopor pie?

"WHY WOULD I NOT BE OK?"

His voice is slurred as hell. What is going on?

"hold on kk! II'll get help!"

You fly away to find that douche orange text human male. He can be awake and asleep, the only one you can think of that can.


"where is he Jade? over." john called over.

"he should be around him somewhere! over." You respond.

"4R3 YOU SUR3 YOU KNOW WH4T YOUR DO1NG?" Terezi called.

"you have to say over, Terezi. over." John said.

"WHY?" Terezi asked.

"because that's proper walkie-talkie talk. over."

"TH4T'S STUP1D. BUT ON3 MUST FOLLOW TH3 RUL3S, SO OV3R."

"D- This is f001ishness upon one hundred thousand prior, equally unsolicited f001ishness."

"D- Over"

":33 *ac paws eqiuis' face* Eqiuis! Don't be such a pawner! Over!"

"guys! we need to be looking for karkat!" you say exasperated.

"guy2. kk woke up. What do we do now? over?"

"Sollux! G8t your happy ass over h8r8 and h8lp us f8nd Karkat!"

"you cant tell me what to do!"

"ok. over."

"gUYS! tHIS IS, uH, sERIOUS!"

"Tavroooooooos. Th8s 8s ser8ous! Just stay out of 8t!"

"bUT I, uH, wANT TO, hELP!"

"sollux! you have telekinesis right? over."

"yeah.."

"use them to find karkat!"

":33 *ac thinks this is a mreowderfurl idea!* over!"

"he should be by a river, over!"


A few minutes later you find kk eating out of a jar of sopor.

"kk what are you doing?!"

You grab the jar of sopor from frowns at you.

"SOL, THAT'S MINE. ):B"

"guy2. I found kk. he'2 acting weird. over."

You say into the humans' static mobile device.

"where!?"

The human green text female answers almost immediately. Almost everyone is close after.

"Wh8r8?"

"wHERE?"

"D- Where is your e%act 100cation?"

":OO *ac wonders where*"

"Where?"

"where"

"WH3R3?"

And so forth and so on. you shoot red and blue sparks into the sky, but soon are startled to a stop by kk.

"PRETTY FIREWORKS. :D"

He's smiling like a wriggler on twelve perigree's day. Soon people are arriving and freaking out arounf him.

"Wh8t th8 h8ll 8s go8ng on h8r8?"

Vriska is the second to last to arrive, Tavros close after in some sort of rocket chair.

"come on guys we have to get him help" said Mr. coolkid Dave.

But he was right.


**in this AU, the Warweary Villein( the Mayor) was successful in his Skaia Revolution. This means Skaia is like a free republic planet, and Derse and Prospit are still queen based. **

I do not own homestuck that right goes to Andrew Hussie