A/N: Just a warning, if anyone is triggered by mentions of self harm... don't read. Sorry if I should have mentioned this earlier. You've been warned.


KATNISS POV

The clothes I'm wearing are way too tight on me, compared to what I used to wear in District 12. It's a black material that Cinna has decided he's going to set on fire.

"Great, I'm going to burn to death" I say angrily under my breath and Peeta gives me a strange look. I just shake my head and study the other tributes. My gaze travels over everyone in their silly costumes when I notice she's looking at me. Her eyes are levelled on me and I don't know whether to acknowledge that I know her or whether I should disregard the night on the train. Wait… is she… checking me out? Her eyes widen in surprise and I feel the corner of my mouth raise slightly in a smug grin. I can see Peeta in the corner of my eye so I twist it into a sneer, turning so that I'm not directly facing her anymore. I can still see her though. She's talking to her district partner… he must be Cato. The one who likes Clove. My blood runs cold and a lump forms in my stomach. I can feel myself shaking but I don't know why and it doesn't help when Peeta rests his hand on my arm and tells me not to be so nervous and that he'd keep me safe. My eyes flash in anger and I hiss at him under my breath not to touch me.

"Geeze, Katniss, I'm just trying to help" He mutters softly to me and I can feel myself getting more and more furious.

"The tribute parade starts in 20 minutes, Katniss" Cinna says to me quietly and I tell him I'm going to use the bathroom before I'm set on fire. I try not to stomp away but Cinna's chuckling and Peeta's unwanted helpfulness and the goddam distracting gaze of Clove just makes me so irate.

I throw open the toilet door and stand in front of the mirror, looking at my reflection. I don't look like myself at all. I claw at the soft material, not wanting to ruin it but feeling uncomfortable in it and in my own skin. I'm so irritated and I don't know why. I shove my sleeves up my arms and unsheathe the decorative knife that is strapped to my thigh, pressing the glinting metal to my flesh. There are numerous scars there from other times that my anger has gotten the best of me. Just a simple scratch to the flesh and all my troubles will disappear… I sneer at myself in the mirror for my hope and punch the wall, pummelling the expensive Capitol bricks.

"Who does she think she is anyway? Sharing my bed and then insulting me. Why am I so obsessed with her? Why won't she get out of my head? GO AWAY!" I shout and roar, thankful that all rooms in the Capitol are soundproofed. I don't remember stopping my punching but suddenly I'm at the mirror again, the knife pushed against my skin. It would be so easy to just…

"What are you doing?" I am startled by a concerned voice and I accidentally nick the flesh of my forearm with the tip of the blade. Hastily, I sheathe the decorative weapon and shove some paper roughly onto the shallow wound.

"Why do you care?" I ask aloud, not even looking up to find out who it is, trying to barge past them so I could go back to Cinna and Haymitch.

"Look at me." The voice is demanding and I have to oblige and there she is, the problem and (definitely NOT) the answer. Clove.

"What are you doing?" She repeats forcefully, barring my way and taking my forearm in her deft fingers, pressing on to the wound gently.

"What are YOU doing?" I ask her, my eyes narrow as I struggle to remove my arm from her grip. She's studying my scars. "Get off me, what gives you the right to-" I am cut short from my rant as she grabs my other sleeve and rolls it up. I look away, embarrassed that she has realised there would be scars there too.

"You didn't get these climbing trees, did you Katniss?" She looks at me, worry in her voice. Worry. From a career. I laugh.

"Cleverer than you look, aren't you District 2?" I mock with venom, pulling down my sleeves as I charge past her. She grabs my wrist.

"Who were you telling to go away? Who won't stay out of your head? Who's made you so upset that you'd do this to yourself?" She motions to my knuckles and to the knife. I can feel myself go as white as a sheet but I can't let her know.

"None of your goddam business, District 2" I snarl and her face twists in anger.

"Dammit Katniss, I'm just trying to help here!" She yells at me angrily and I notice that she bites her lip.

"Yeah well there's no point. I'm going to die in the arena anyway so why even bother trying to help me? Why are you so bothered about me anyway?" I stare at her, daring her, challenging her to tell me why she wants to save me.

"I… forget it District 12. You want to do that to yourself, go ahead" she says coldly and I see the shutter come down in her eyes, her switch back to Career.

"5 minutes until the tribute parade" We hear over the deadly silence that has fallen.

"Y'know" She whispers to me, as if she's about to impart to me a deadly secret. Her voice is playful and an evil smile slips onto her lips. "Cato thinks he's gonna be the one to kill you".

'It's as if she's got two different personalities' I think to myself.

"But he's wrong" I look at her and she laughs at my confusion "because I'm going to kill you first" she grins evilly before leaving.

I grit my teeth and punch the wall one last time before going back to Cinna


I apologise if you didn't read my author's note and got triggered. Sorry :/

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