As You Were (3/10)
Warnings: The next few chapters until the end are where the warnings from the first chapter kick in….in full force. Language and sexual situations, although I think it's relatively tame. If you don't know where babies come from, please don't continue on or otherwise skip the fourth section…then go ask your parents where babies come from.
* * *
"Chess."
"What?" Kirk queried with just an edge of "are you out of your mind" in his voice.
"I enjoy this game," Spock proclaimed setting up the pieces without meeting Jim's bewildered gaze. He and Kirk had been sitting in Kirk's quarters for several long moments in uncomfortable silence before Spock found the electronic board buried underneath several data pads. After a moment, Jim shrugged and began setting his own pieces, each to their own proper position.
"Did you just admit to having a preference for something?"
Spock's eyebrows rose at this. "Displaying preferences is not illogical. Indeed, it would be illogical to perform activities not to one's preference."
"But it's emotional," Jim interjected with a broad smile.
"It is not."
"Is too."
"Preferences are choices. Choices are innate to all sentient beings. Whether they are human, Vulcan or…ape."
Kirk laughed. "Somehow, I don't think apes play chess." After a moment's deliberation, he re positioned a rook across the board. "Your move."
* * *
"Spock. Spock! Dammit man, slow the hell down!" McCoy cried, unceremoniously plowing into any and all unfortunate ensigns who stood between him and the object of his ire.
It was a familiar habit of Jim's to press his palms to his temple whenever he felt displeasure, particularly when related to Doctor McCoy. Spock resisted the urge to do the same now.
"Is there something you require of me, Doctor McCoy?" Much to McCoy's distaste, the Vulcan's voice was every bit as wooden as ever.
"It's not working."
Spock stifled a protest before it could form on his lips. Oh, but it was working, Spock thought darkly. Just not in any way Spock could explain to a human. Or even a Vulcan perhaps. How could he explain to Doctor McCoy that he was all at once closer than he has ever been to Kirk and yet, unable to reach him? The residuals of their link even now, even three floors away from Jim, who still lay as motionless as ever in sick bay, was causing ringing in his ears.
Spock paused, attempting to pull together a response even as McCoy continued to scrutinize him. "It is not working the way it should."
"And we are headed to Vulcan II because…"
Waiting a breath before he spoke, Spock calmly replied, "Because if I cannot help Kirk then I need to find someone who can."
McCoy nodded slowly, watching as Spock continued to the bridge.
* * *
Admiral Pike himself conducted the interrogation of the Leeran woman, Rhea, several days following Kirk's attack. Spock was able to retrieve a preliminary recording of this interrogation and viewed it at least once a day between shifts, combing through the details and searching for something, anything the other Starfleet personnel may have missed.
He knew the recording so well, he could quote both the woman and Pike word for word. He used the controls of his media player to scroll through the preliminary minutes of the interrogation, passed personal information on the woman's background and emotional appeals from Pike for her assistance in helping Captain Kirk. None of that was relevant to Spock's search. He stopped at a familiar scene. One he had replayed more than any other.
"What happened once you took Captain Kirk to Lord Camden's suite?"
Rhea looked up at the screen, away from Pike's hard stare. "I wasn't trying to hurt him."
"What were you trying to do?" Pike asked, taking the seat opposite the woman and forcing her eyes back upward when she began to play with the metal encircling her wrists.
"See," she responded, recoiling from Pike's touch and looking away from him again.
"See what?"
She hesitantly met Pike's eyes, unease on her face. "We needed to know how he did it."
Spock stopped the video play. There was something there that he was missing. Spock shut down the media console and stood, gazing out as the Enterprise cut through the black expanse of space. Here, in the deep throes of the ship, Spock felt like the mythical Jonah in the belly of the whale. A few ensigns stopped and acknowledged his presence as he made his way through the corridors, back to his quarters. He would not sit with Jim tonight.
* * *
Sex baffled Kirk. He thought of that as he undid the hooks on Gaila's bra, pulling it apart like the twin shells of a clam. Oh, sure it was pleasurable. He kissed her bright red mouth and pulled at the slinky material of her skirt.
When he was sixteen, he lost his virginity to a girl from a rival school in the wooded area behind the soccer field the night of the big game. He didn't remember her name or her face. He had fumbled with her bra for few minutes before she simply shoved his hands away and undid it herself. He thinks she might have had red hair. But that was when he was sixteen and he thought sex was love or that the two naturally followed one another.
Spock looked nothing like Gaila. A strange observation to be making as the lithe body under him pressed harder against him. While Gaila's skin and eyes were an iridescent green and blue, Spock's skin was a dark olive and his eyes were nearly black under the low light of his quarters. This was without stating the obvious discrepancies as a small thrust from Spock clearly demonstrated that the body beneath him was decidedly male.
"God, you're beautiful." He mutters, sinking his teeth into a particularly sensitive spot on the side of the Vulcan's neck. He knew Spock hated that sort of sentimentality. Never mind that it was true and Kirk meant it. Although Spock seemed to have either not heard him or chosen not to acknowledge it.
He thinks that this might be love. Spock thrusts again and in the blackness all he sees is white.
* * *
Spock curled and uncurled his fingers, waiting for the tingling sensation in his fingertips to dissipate. To borrow a euphemism from the good doctor…Damn. It was dark in his quarters and soundless, save for the desperate panting for breath that Spock realized suddenly was coming from him.
The communicator in Spock's quarters trilled softly, a pinprick of red light in utter darkness.
"Spock."
"Captain?" Uhura had the conn. "We are approaching Vulcan II."
* * *
A/N: There will be plot in the next few chapters. I promise. Many thanks for all your support.
Next (4/10):
"It is illogical to dwell on events not in the present."
"Human memories are a sort of metaphorical sea. One in which they are constantly treading water."
"Is it my understanding that you believe Jim is 'lost at sea?'"
"Precisely."
"And I must find him in this 'sea' of memories."
"I would do it. I would if I could. But I am not you and he would not have me in your stead."
