I don't own the characters Janet Evanovich does.
Guilt
The waiting room was full when Lester and I walked in. I noticed that it was divided with cops on one side and my men on the other. I tried to get information from the nurse at the desk but she didn't know anything other than Stephanie was in surgery.
I saw Joe come in with Robin and I shook my head at him. "They don't know anything yet. She's in surgery. Does her parents know?"
" Yeah I called them they're on the way." he replied and then went to stand with the cops.
I nodded my head and then went and leaned against the wall where my men were to wait.
I hadn't been there long when Lula came busting in followed by Tank. She walked up to me.
"Any word on white girl?"
"No she's in surgery."
"I told you she wasn't acting right. I wish I had noticed sooner maybe I could've done something. The shitty part of this is that it's not one big thing that usually causes this. It's normally the little things you know what I'm saying Batman? It's like a tree in the woods, it looks strong but take an ax to it bit by bit and it finally falls down."
She looked around the waiting area and then sucked in a deep breath. "What the hell are they doing here?" She marched over to where the cops were standing. Tank and I followed.
"I can't believe you are even here!" She walked up to two of the cops standing beside Joe. "Especially you Carl and Big Dog! This is your fault! All the bets you made on her, calling everybody to come look at her when she came in! Do you realize how much you humiliated her? How dare you stand there acting like you give a damn about her!" She reached up to slap Carl but Tank grabbed her and pulled her back before she could.
"Tank! Boy, if you know what's good for you, you best be letting me go!" she snarled.
Tank let her go and she turned her wrath on Joe. "And you super cop how could you let them do that to her. Don't tell me you didn't know. You had to know what was going on and yet you didn't stop it. You didn't stand up for your girl? What the hell kind of man are you?" She started shaking she was so mad.
"Did it even matter that she's good at what she does? That she actually cares about people and tries to help if she can. That she's brought in everyone she's ever gone after. Yes she's had help from me and Rangeman but still she brought them in. Whether she had to go through garbage, food or even oil to get them she still brings them should be proud of her damn it!" She turned and buried her face in Tank's chest and started sobbing.
"I am." Joe said quietly.
She lifted her head and looked up at him with tears streaming down her dark face. "You sure have a fucked up way of showing it."
*************
My hands shook as I hung up the phone. Something bad had happened to my little girl, my baby. I just had that sinking feeling in my gut. It took me a minute to realize my wife was talking to me.
"Frank? Frank? What's going on? What did Joe want?"
"We have to go to St Francis Helen, something happen to Stephanie."
Helen crossed herself. "Oh Lord what has she done this time? It's that job she has I know its going to kill her one day. I knew it. If something happens to her I going to kill that pervert nephew of yours for allowing her to do this."
"Helen just get your stuff and get in the car."
It took me less than ten minutes to get to the hospital instead of the usual thirty. I don't remember speeding but I must have. In fact I didn't remember anything about the drive over other than Helen praying on her rosary and crossing herself. I parked the car and we both rushed into the ER.
The waiting room was a sea of blue and black. I led Helen up to where Joe and Ranger were standing. "OK what's going on with Stephanie?"I ask them.
Joe and Ranger looked at each other then Joe cleared his throat. Before he could say anything a nurse came out. "I need to speak to the Plum family."
"Right here." I said walking up to her.
"Come with me please."
I hurried to follow her pulling Helen behind me.
She lead us into a small family room.
"Stephanie is in surgery, it's still touch and go at the moment. I just have a few questions for you. Has Stephanie been depressed or seemed a little off recently?"
"Well yes she hasn't seemed exactly like herself but I thought it was a phase she was going through. I figured it would pass soon." Helen replied.
I noticed it too now that Helen had mentioned it. The spark had been missing in Stephanie's eyes for the past month or so. I just didn't think anything about it.
The nurse started writing on a pad. She took in a deep breath and let it out like she was dreading the next question then she looked up at us. "Has Stephanie ever attempted suicide?"
Helen sucked in a breath in shock and crossed herself. "No! Never! How could you ask such a question? Stephanie is a good Catholic girl she would never do something like that!"
I interrupted Helen. "Why don't you tell us whats going on?"
The nurse cleared her throat. "I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this but earlier today Stephanie attempted suicide by slitting her wrists."
"No!!!" Helen started screaming. I grabbed her and held her to me as she cried. I felt my own tears as they fell silently down my face. What had happened? Where did we go wrong?
*********
I didn't know what to say to Frank and Helen when they came up to me and Ranger. What was I suppose to say? I'm sorry but your daughter tried to kill herself and everyone's to blame. I looked over at Ranger and he just looked at me. I cleared my throat and was about to break it to them when a nurse came out asking for them. I felt like I had just swallowed a big chunk of ice and it sat deep in my belly. I looked over at Ranger and saw a look of dread cross over his face right before his famous blank face slid down. It can't be good if they're asking for the family privately. I had to sit down. Robin walked up to me and handed me an envelope that had my name on it in Stephanie's handwriting.
"Eddie found this on your kitchen table along with one for Ranger and one for her parents."
"Thanks." I muttered.
I was torn. These could be Steph's last words to me. Did I really want to know what she had to say? But what if it explained why she did this. I tore the envelope open. I had to know why.
Joe,
What can I say? I guess the only thing to say is I'm tired. You know when you're so tired it seeps right into your bones? I'm tired of rolling in garbage and tired of the hassle from the cops. Most of all I'm tired of feeling like a failure. I know how much I embarrass you. You deserve better than that. You deserve someone you can be proud of. There is someone out there like that for you. Some cute nurse or school teacher or hell maybe you and Terry can get back together. You two made such a beautiful couple in high school. I'm sure you'll have beautiful children and given your reputation with the ladies you'll probably end up with a bunch of girls. I love you Joe but I was never in love with you. I hope you know what I'm talking about. I mean our dates were Pino's or pizza and a hockey game, a girl needs a little more than that. It was always the boys miss you not that you missed me. I mean the sex was great but you can't build a relationship on sex alone. So I guess this is goodbye. Good luck finding the right girl for you. Just think of how much money you're going to save now that you don't have to buy so much Maalox.
Take care Joe.
Love,
Stephanie
I sat there just staring at the paper in my hand. I didn't realize how bad I had hurt her. I guess the Morelli curse didn't skip me except I hurt her with words instead of my fists. Lula was right. What kind of man was I? My thoughts were pierced by Helen Plum's screams. I jumped up crumpling the letter in my hand. No! Please God! She can't be dead. "Stephanie!" I yelled and it echoed throughout the waiting room.
***********
Lester came up to me and handed me an envelope with my name on it in Steph's handwriting.
"Eddie found this on the kitchen table. One for you, Morelli and Bomber's parents." he said before walking away to give me privacy.
Ranger,
I don't know what to say to you. How many times have I wanted to say I love you but you aways shut me down before I could. I know you care for me maybe you even love me but you keep pushing me back at Joe. You had to know I was unhappy and yet time after time you sent me back to him. What was I suppose to do? Your life doesn't lend itself to relationships, my love doesn't come with a ring but a condom might come in handy. I know that you're not the picket fence type of guy. Well I'm not the picket fence type of girl. If I wanted that I would give up my job and marry Joe. I know that life with you wouldn't be normal but I was willing to try.
Then I saw you with Jeanne-Ellen and I guess I finally understood. I'll never be more than an entertainment line in your budget. I don't blame you. You and her make a nice couple and I wish both of you the best. I just don't think she 'll like you wasting so much of your money on someone like me.
I don't know what else to say. Tell the guys bye for me.
Take care and try not to get shot.
Love,
Stephanie
I felt sick after I read her letter. Here I was a hard ass son of a bitch and yet everything that I had seen in my life nothing made me feel as sick as that letter made me feel. She had to live. I had to make it right. Suddenly Helen Plum's screams reached my ears. I jumped up and looked at the door. "Stephanie!" I yelled and the sound echoed in the waiting room.
****How's that for a guilt trip I hope I have everything covered. Don't worry Helen's going to get hers soon. I know I keep leaving it on a cliff hanger but I promise that soon we'll find out Stephanie's fate. Thanks for the reviews.****
