Three
Ruth DeWitt Bukater
"You are not to see that boy again Rose, do you understand me? I forbid it!"
When Ruth DeWitt thought about her death, she imagined for her to be surrounded by her daughter and grandchildren in a chateau in France, preferably in the country. She pictured herself as an ancient lady who had achieved a lot in her long life, and who many people looked up to.
The reality was much worse.
She lay alone in her large four poster bed, watching the snow fall outside with her pale blue eyes. Ruth couldn't move from her pillows for she was far too exhausted. It was getting tiring doing something as simple as breathing but she continued. It was hard for someone like her- a social butterfly, someone who took much delight in the parties and dinners of her high class- to be bedridden. She longed to be out with the other ladies, dressed in all her finery.
It wasn't that she didn't want to rest, because she did. It was more like she hated being alone.
When she was alone, the past haunted her…
1894
15th December
Dear diary,
This is my final day as Ruth Princeton. Tomorrow I will be Ruth DeWitt Bukater, and I must say I am rather excited.
Of course, my mother is thrilled. I suppose she is glad I shall no longer be in her care, for- as you know- we have never gotten along well. But I shall miss her, in the oddest way. I find it rather odd how eager she is for me to marry Samuel. He is of the DeWitt Bukater family- they are modest people, though richer than anyone I have ever met- yet not as polite as the other gentlemen I know. I like that about him, he seems more… real. The rest are like puppets, the strings held by their father's. Samuel is different; he makes his own decisions.
Today we had a very long talk. It was pleasant, for we sat in the library in front of a roaring fire, drinking tea and discussing everything from our favourite books to Philadelphia (which is where we shall move when we are married,) society. I took the time to explain to him that I was not like the other girls, I was not to be treated like a possession. To my surprise, Samuel agreed with me. He has promised to treat me like a person, not an object. That has taken a huge weight from my shoulders.
19th December
I am now a married woman, and in all honesty it is not as bad as I thought it would be!
Samuel is possibly the perfect husband. I say possibly because he is the only husband I have ever- and will ever, hopefully- had. He treats me very well, and I do believe he loves me.
Last night I was in the library when he rushed in, telling me I had to stay in there until he told me to move. I laughed and followed his instructions, although I was quaking inside. I settled with a book in front of the roaring fire, and a little over an hour later Samuel returned. He covered my eyes and led me into the dining room, where a flurry of scents greeted me.
Samuel's warm hands left my eyes, revealing the dining room table covered in delicious looking treats.
With an excited- and most unladylike- squeal, I hugged him tightly.
I half expected him to pull away, but he didn't. Instead he squeezed me more tightly to him, wrapped in a close embrace. We only pulled apart when Samuel remembered the food. Then we sat down to a delicious meal, which Samuel sheepishly admitted he had helped make. I found that undeniably adorable and really rather sweet. However I didn't voice my thoughts to Samuel, as he was already blushing!
23rd December
Samuel and I have decided to spend Christmas in our own home. We decided it was only right, considering we haven't even lived here a month yet. My parents cannot join us, as they are in France visiting Grandmother. However Samuel's family are coming; his parents, plus his siblings and their families.
I've spent a large amount of time helping decorate- that was at Samuel's insistence. Once I had explained to him that I had never helped prepare for Christmas at home, Samuel rushed into the servant's house and told them to let me help in whatever way I wanted. I don't think they really want me around, and I always feel as though I am in the way, but I am enjoying decorating so much I do not notice anyone around me.
I can only hope this is a good sign to the rest of our lives being this happy.
1895
1st February
I cannot believe how fast the past two months have gone. I have been so busy!
Samuel has been working away an awful lot recently- which I hate, for I miss him so much!- which leaves me to run the manor on my own.
I have made a few good friends in town, mainly the wives of Samuel's friends. However I am grateful for their company, especially on days like these when Samuel is away. We spend a majority of our time in town, shopping and wandering carelessly, despite the freezing weather conditions. I am glad to have people my age to talk to, and although at first I thought they were in the same position as myself, I now realise that they are not. Their husbands are different to Samuel; they are thoughtless and rather harsh. I am thankful yet again that Samuel is the sweet natured kind man I deserve.
17th March
I have spent the past few days in bed. I feel terribly sick, and I believe Samuel is getting worried.
My stomach is in knots- what if something is wrong with me? I shall try not to think negatively, but in times like these one cannot help themselves.
It started around two weeks ago, rather early in the morning. I woke up very suddenly and rushed to the bathroom, where I was promptly sick. It has been the same every day since then and I feel as though instead of getting better, I am getting worse.
Since last Thursday I have been bed ridden. Every time I move I feel light headed, especially when I get awful sharp pains in my stomach.
Samuel has decided to get a doctor. I tried my hardest to tell him not to, but of course he did not listen. I am so very afraid of the verdict.
19th March
The doctor has just left. I am not sure how I feel.
I am pregnant. One and a half months pregnant, according to the doctor. I have not yet told Samuel, for I am worried about his reaction. Our lives are already perfect, why do we need more?
I know that once I tell him this news our lives will change, I do not want that. Although I want us to be happy, I feel as though having a baby so soon in our marriage will ruin things. Why do I, of all the women I know, have to be the one to be expecting? Marie and Charlotte adore babies and cannot wait to have their own, why don't I feel like that?
I shall have to tell Samuel soon. Fingers crossed that he is not angry…
29th October
I sit here writing this in bed, where I have been for the past two months, as my stomach is now too swollen to walk. Our baby is due this month, and hopefully very soon. I am not sure how much longer I can wait!
Samuel has been the perfect husband, yet again. Since I became too heavy to walk, he has stopped travelling. In fact, he stopped all of his travelling arrangements the day I told him about my pregnancy. I am not sure why I worried so about telling him. His reaction could not of been more perfect. He quite literally jumped for joy, and immediately began plans to renovate the whole third floor of our home into a nursery. I have not seen the finished product, though just last month he drew me a rather detailed picture of how everything looked. He is ever so talented in the ways of art, I often tell him he is wasted in the mining business.
I must go to sleep now, for although it is barely midday I am exhausted.
3rd November
Tears roll down my cheeks as I write this.
Two days ago I gave birth to not one baby but two. I only lie with one now- a darling baby girl named Rose- for her brother did not survive.
I am heartbroken. Samuel is too, though he does not show it as much as I. I am struggling to enjoy Rose, for I mourn the death of Jacob terrible. He looked exactly like his father- all blonde hair and blue eyes, a truly beautiful baby boy- and I think, if he was to have the chance to grow up, he would be just as warm hearted as Samuel.
Rose is stunning also, with her creamy skin and shocking red curls. But she is short tempered and stubborn, Samuel says she is more like myself than him. I am not sure how I am to love this baby girl, when your brother died so quickly. I don't dare voice my concerns to Samuel, for I know he adores Rose already.
I am sure she will grow up to be a daddy's girl. I suppose I can only wonder what Jacob would be like...
Ruth didn't mean to be heartless. But, she supposed, she didn't really have any excuses. She wanted Rose- her sweet, darling Rose- to be happy. But she deserved better than Jack Dawson. She deserved… well, someone of the social status of Cal Hockley.
But Ruth had already tried to set her daughter up with him. She simply didn't have the energy anymore. She was ready to die.
It happened one especially cold night, She lay in bed, praying Rose would visit her so her dear mother wouldn't die alone. But Rose never showed.
Someone else did.
A small child, no older than three, with sandy blonde hair and shiny blue eyes. His skin was tanned, and his chubby face was smiling. He reminded her of someone…
"Mommy?" the small boy said quietly, his eyes filling up with tears.
Ruth nodded and smiled. "I'm here Jacob, I'm here."
She found that suddenly she had the strength she once had in her youth and that made her glad. She reached down and lifted her son into her arms, cuddling him tightly.
The next morning, Ruth DeWitt Bukater was written into the New York Time's obituary.
A/N: So another character done and dusted. I'm not sure if any of this was written into Ruth's past, but it made a good story right? The next chapter will be up soon!
Thank you for reading, as always I own ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with Titanic (unfortunately). Review! xx
