Revision 1.0
I have to thank everybody that read, added the story to any of their lists, or reviewed. Thank you for all of the support. If it wasn't for all of y'all I'd be somewhere in isolation and this story would just be taking up space on my hard drive.
Of course I do not own Twilight. If I did, Jasper would have given Bella some of that magic peen a long time ago.
Chapter Three - Mean Words and A Not-So-Secret Hater
We got to my house within ten minutes, a new record. But as soon as I parked, the rain picked up and it began to pour buckets. Rose ran for shelter under the front porch, screaming, "fuck you, Mother Nature," the whole way. I shook my head at her antics and got my bag from my van.
"Oh yeah, take your precious time. It's not like I'm gonna freeze to death or anything," Rose said sarcastically, her hands rubbing up and down her arms in an attempt to warm herself.
At her comment I walked even slower, exaggerating the timing of every step. "What was that?" I replied between laughter.
Once I reached the door, Rose yanked my keys away and unlocked the door faster than my clumsy fingers ever could.
She began to tease me once she dropped her bag on the couch and slippee off her wet shoes. "Seriously, Mr. Osborne moves faster than you, and he's ancient. I'm surprised that he's even living past one hundred."
I rolled my eyes and took off my shoes after I closed the door. I left my shoes in the middle of the hallway, knowing how much it would drive my mother nuts. Served her right for making me cheat on my drum sticks.
"So, my wonderful friend that never keeps secrets from me, why didn't you tell me that Jasper was at your little band camp?" Rose casually remarked from her position on the sofa. To anybody else she would look relaxed, no cares in the world. I saw right through her. Her shoulders were tense with anticipation and I could tell she was slightly annoyed.
I froze for a moment before regaining my composure. Damn this guilt was fucking eating me up. I was such a bitch for keeping this entire shit top secret. And for what? I didn't even really have a valid excuse for not telling her. I felt like a big ass pile of steaming shit. I wasn't lying to her, but leaving out the truth was just as bad.
"Didn't think it was important," I muttered.
I shrugged while walking down the hall and pushed the kitchen door open. My feet carried me over to our refrigerator and I stood in front of it, just staring. Our refrigerator was the awesomest fridge in the whole planet, not because it was fancy, but because it had a glass door. Have you ever seen a transparent refrigerator? Yeah, I didn't either until two guys from the appliance company came to the house to set it up. Five months later and I was still staring at the electrical appliance. Weird, I know.
The kitchen door banged against the wall and I tipped my head to the right a little.
One. Two. Three.
"Fuck, you're staring at the fridge again?" Right on time.
I turned to look over at my annoying best friend. An irritated expression appeared on her too pretty face when I arched an eyebrow at her. I had no idea why she had that expression.
"Want anything?" I muttered, my back facing her again, as I started to rummage through my fridge in search of a Hot Pocket or anything to fight off the hunger that was crippling me.
Her snort was my only answer so I pulled out a water bottle and tossed it without turning towards her. I didn't hear any thud so I guessed she caught thr bottle. Wouldn't have been the first time I failed to throw something. My hands and feet weren't made for normal physical activities.
Want to walk? Face meet the floor. Throw a ball? Ha, good luck with that.
I shook my head before slamming the fridge door in a huff. I looked at Rose who didn't even try to keep a smug smile off her face.
She tapped her fingers on the counter, her grin widening slowly, and stated, "You ran out of Hot Pockets, didn't you?"
I frowned at her. "Yes. God, my mom must've done this shit on purpose. Not even one fucking egg, Rose. I bet she did this cause I didn't wanna wear that strip of fabric she called a dress," I answered in a quick breath.
Rose smirked and gracefully jumped onto the marble counter of the kitchen island. I sat on the stool behind the island and watched her.
"You should've worn the dress. Maybe that would've made Jasper finally fuck you."
A little late for that. He already did.
I chuckled nervously, trying my best to squash the guilty feeling that was growing deep in the pit of my stomach. I should have told her by now. I may not have been outright lying to her face, I was keeping secrets. And I never omitted the truth from her, so why should I start now?
Probably because she was going to go all crazy on my ass and pester me about how Jasper was Grade A. Grade A for asshole, according to Rose. For some reason they didn't get along, and whenever they talked there was always that layer of politeness thinly veiling a mutual hatred. She wouldn't like him, but she'd badger me endlessly until I grabbed the bull by the horns and proclaimed my feelings or whatever to Jasper. Which was not going to happen because believe it or not, I actually had dignity. I wasn't going to throw it all away for a boy that didn't even know I existed. Nope, fat chance.
My decision was made. I would keep my mouth shut. What she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. Besides, my virginity - or lack of - wasn't that big of a deal. Not unless you managed to get Jasper Fucking Whitlock in between your legs. Which I did not too long ago. But, yeah, no need to ruffle those shiny feathers of hers.
First mission, distract her. "Haha, Rose, you are so funny. Remember the time we visited your cousin in New York and she kidnapped us to party in the Heights?"
Her nose scrunched up in disgust as the terrible memory of that night came to her. It was understood that we never speak of that night. Never.
"Tanya?"
"Okay well most of the girls there wore some ridiculous shit. I can vividly recall how I saw some chick's who-ha when she pulled up her tiny ass skirt. Then there was this other girl with a dress. Rose, I shit you not she had holes and rips that showed her whole body. Her nips were staring at me dead on. Anyway, Queen Elizabeth would rather wear that girl's dress than my mom's Sluterella costume."
I knew my mission succeeded when Rose broke into hysterics. She looked at me as if I had just said the funniest thing ever. Her eyes were full of tears and she clutched at her stomach, her face reddening slowly but surely. I laughed along with her, gripping at the countertop for extra support, because, hell, I was really funny. Our laughter eventually died down, but her face still held a little red tinge to it from all our ridiculousness.
The rest of the evening was spent in a lazy fashion. We swapped stories about our summer activities while munching on some of my mom's leftover eclairs. Okay, to put it more accurately, Rose recounted her summer activities while I gobbled down eclairs. I had brushed off my time at camp as being the equivalent to watching old people drool. Because it was pretty boring there.
My mom had walked into my room, screeching about her eclairs, but quieted down once she saw Rose. They hugged each other as if they were long lost friends reuniting, and I was on the sidelines, watching their weird conversation. Mom complimented her and began complaining about how I wouldn't take her fashion tips. I was severely tempted to remind her that scraps of fabric that barely covered your snatch and breasts weren't considered fashion. But I kept my mouth shut and attitude in check. Golden girl at her finest.
After I was compared to Rose by my dear mother, Rose ended up calling Emmett so he could pick her up. He complained, but told her he'd be over in fifteen minutes. Actually, his exact words were, "Jesus Christ, babe! I'll be over there once I fucking slaughter this fool!" I guess he was really getting into his little Halo death match. Whatever, just as long as he didn't make some prepubescent boy cry like last time. I cringed just thinking about the memory.
There was a loud honk outside my house a few minutes later and I sighed, not even bothering to check who it was. I already knew it was Emmett. He was continuously shouting out Rose's pet name and my nickname like some maniac.
"Looks like your prince charming is here, waiting outside. Patiently and quietly, I might add." I told Rose, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
She shook her head before gathering her things. I walked with her down the stairs grabbed some slippers as she put on her shoes. She looked down at my dragon slippers and smirked at my childish qualities. We slipped out of the house and as we walked on my lawn she asked me, "What's up with you walking me to Em's car?"
"Just making sure you don't get lost, Barbie." I joked, dodging the backhand she threw my way.
Emmett must have heard the jab because my ears began to ring due to his loud booming laughter. I grinned brightly at my favorite man. I forgot all about our misunderstanding earlier. How could I not? I knew that he wasn't intentionally trying to hurt me, mainly because he would never go out of his way to be cruel. Yeah, he was insanely male so he didn't know the things that usually spun normally nice girls into sensitive bitches. Em was a great guy and I wasn't going to hold a grudge over some compliment I found offensive.
He leaned over his steering wheel and looked at me with that dimpled smile of his. Cue my own stupid grin.
He winked at me, being the cheeky bastard he was, he whistled when he saw that I was in my pajama shorts. "B, have I ever told you how great your stems are? By the way, I totally owned that twerp in Halo." I knew he was being a little cocky now, most likely from beating some random teen at a video game, so I laughed along with him. I didn't have it in me to tell him how I could beat him in any video game just as easily. Let him have his moment because I've destroyed him with my eyes closed.
Rose was obviously still annoyed with him because her words were sharp as a knive. "Wow. You're such an ass. You never compliment my legs or my anything for that matter."
"Ah shit. Babe, y'know I think you're beautiful."
My vicious Blondie glared at him and opened Em's car door with very stiff motions. She crossed her arms across her chest, which caused Em's eyes to shoot to her chest, and began to pout.
"Rosie, babe, y'know I love you." His hands reached out to grab her. Bad idea.
She snorted and shot him a look that would make murderers shake. "No, babe, I know you can beat eleven year olds at childish and pointless games instead of showing your girlfriend you love her. Can you please drive me home now, Em?"
Emmett made a sound in the back of his throat and moved away from Rose. She wasn't usually this mouthy, but she was having a field day barking at everybody like crazy. I wondered if she was on her rag already because her poor boyfriend was gonna have a long night if she kept up with the attitude. Don't get me wrong, I loved Rose to pieces, but sometimes she grew a forked tongue and a set of horns and turned into a raging lunatic. I couldn't help but feel sorry for Emmett. He had to deal with her nonstop bitchiness every day, not that I didn't deal with her either, but I wasn't the one exchanging spit with her.
"Better go take her royal Highness home, Em. You don't want her to bitch even more about how her glass slippers are too tight." He flashed me his dimples, even though his smile seemed too forced, before starting his car.
"Bella! What the fuck." Rose screeched from the car.
"See ya, B!" Em yelled quickly and he peeled out, his tires screeching along the road. He better not speed in this rain.
I rubbed the back of my neck and waved at them as they drove away. I stood outside for a while, enjoying the cold breeze, and pondered on my two best friends. They deserved each other, more than anything. I just wish Rose would take it easy on Em. He was tough, but after a while he was going to get worn out by her constant flip-flopping of pulling him in and pushing him away.
I jumped at the sound of a thundering clap and groaned when rain began to fall. I sprinted to the porch, my dragon slippers soaked completely, and almost tripped on my porch steps. I tumbled into my warm house and took a deep breath, my back pressed against the door. My eyes landed on my slippers. Looks like I was going to have to wash them cause they were caked with mud. I threw them into a corner. Mom could take care of it.
I slowly walked up the steps to my room, my mind wandering to that little sticky note that had been taped to my windshield. It was hidden in my bag at the moment. The gears in my brain moved as curiousity flares within me. With lips pursed, I picked up my bag and began to rummage through it for the note. My fingers gripped onto the thin square paper and I couldn't help but to smile in victory.
The smile instantly fell once I read the tiny, neatly-written words.
Isabella,
Who are you fucking fooling? You don't matter. If you'd die today, only your father and slut friend would attend your funeral. Your own mother wouldn't go; you're a disgrace. Forget about that little Jasper obsession of yours. He's not interested. If he was, wouldn't he have asked you out by now? Take a hint. You're an overweight heifer. Plain. Repulsive. Worthless. A stray bitch that's not worth time. Rosalie pities you. Why else would she talk to a basket case? Do everybody a favor and GO DIE!
xoxo Your not-so-secret hater
My vision got cloudy as tears welled up in my eyes. The note slipped through my shaking fingers and landed on the carpet without a sound. I felt pieces of me shatter. Sobs wracked my body as tears spilled down my cheeks. How could somebody be so callous and hurtful? I didn't do anything to deserve this.
I fell to my knees and let the hurt wash over my body. The words cut me deep, as if they were blades or sharp pieces of glass that were being dragged across my skin. As if my veins were exposed and being cut agonizingly slowly. My mind kept repeating those words like a broken word.
GO DIE!
GO DIE!
GO DIE!
At the moment all I wanted to do was give this person what they asked of me. I wanted to ram a rusty pipe into my abdomen. To drive off a cliff. Get trampled by a pack of rhino's. Jump into a vat of acid. Anything to rid myself of the suffocating pain in my chest. I couldn't breathe, couldn't see through my salty tears.
Rosalie pities you. Why else would she talk to a whore?
Rosalie did care about me…right? I wasn't just some piteous girl to her. I was something to her. Or maybe I was just some hopeless cause to her. What if she did only associate with me out of sympathy? I gasped at the thought, a sudden wave of anguish washed over me and my heart started to pound out of my chest.
It just wasn't true. We were friends, sisters. This was all some evil prank to see what my reaction would be. If this was a prank, then this was the most malicious prank that has ever been pulled on me. But if it was a prank they wouldn't tell me to go die. At the thought of the cutting words, I felt my heart being squeezed too tightly. It shattered with every word that was written on that cruel message.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but god these mean words were tearing me to shreds.
With every breath I sucked in, my lungs would get tighter and tighter. I was getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen. My breaths were ragged and short. With my lungs burning I couldn't think, couldn't inhale properly. Those words were stuck on repeat and I couldn't think of anything other than the note.
If you'd die today, only your father and slut friend would attend your funeral…GO DIE!
Nobody cared. They were right. My mother tried to mold me into something I wasn't. The shame was in her eyes every time she looked at me and the realization of this made me cry even harder. Why didn't she care? Why wasn't I enough? What was I doing wrong to deserve all this hate? Everybody hated me and I haven't done one single thing wrong.
Salty liquid fell into my mouth and snot ran down my nose, but I didn't wipe my tears or stop bawling. I couldn't. It was too hard to try to numb the pain in my heart and head. It hurt so bad and I wept for all the mistakes I've done and for every snide comment I've received from my mother and from my peers. What the fuck was wrong with me?
Black spots erupted into my vision and I tried to force myself to calm down. It was no use. My lungs were most likely collapsing from oxygen deprivation and I didn't care. All I wanted to do was die. I wanted to do what that note told me to do. I wanted death to take me away. Nobody cared. Why should I?
My head was pounding, my heart beat hammered in my ears. I let out an anguish-filled scream, releasing the sorrow I was feeling. The darkness slowly swept over me, but not before I heard my name being shouted.
Hello darkness.
So how was it? I hope it was worth the little wait. So this chapter was sort of hard to write. Bullying isn't cool. End of story. So don't do it, but if you're being bullied, talk about it with somebody, anybody. Trust me, being bullied and keeping it all in will get you nowhere. Talking about it helps, it really does. I hope you all liked it! A review is my Red Bull. And Red Bull gives me wings.
geek
