Kurenai stood in the middle of the training field. She had spent most of the previous evening writing out a training regimen that would start her student one the right track. Then, she had spent an hour this morning implementing one of her ideas to hone Nauto's observational skills.

First lesson: Be aware of your surroundings.

How was her first lesson going to work? Quite simple. She had booby-trapped the field.

Nothing lethal. of course, immobilization only, but it would do the trick. As expected, Naruto finally showed up...only to run straight into a trip wire and fall flat on his face.

Kurenai was learning something as well. Naruto had a very colorful vocabulary...more than she had heard before.

Once he got back up, he looked down at the trip wire and then at her as she watched with a quirked eyebrow. He started towards her again, only to nearly step on another tripwire. He jumped back next to the tree he was by...only to land in a snare and get hoisted up by his leg.

"Kurenai-sensei! I need some help here!", he shouted as he thrashed around uselessly after cursing up another storm. Now it was time to give him the first bit of advice. She shunshinned up to the tree and looked up at him.

" If you almost fall into a trap, don't move, think."

Naruto looked at her with confusion until he replayed the words in his head. She was already training him?

"Uh, okay. Can you let me down now?"

" Repeat that phrase twenty times and I will", she replied as she crossed her arms, waiting for him to start.

" Uh. If I almost fall into a trap, don't move, think. If I almost fall-", Kurenai listened as he repeated it over and over as her eyes darted over the rest of the trek to her original location. She had a feeling she'd be getting him out of traps, at least, twice more.

Once he finished, she let him down. When he got up, he found her right back where she was originally.

Not even a dozen seconds later, she was looking up at him again.

" If you fall into a trap, don't think, move."

Naruto looked confused before realizing the difference from the first piece of advice. Not having to be told twice, he started repeating it. A while later, he was let down again to find Kurenai right back where she was.

He was still 80 yards away!

Kurenai kept watching as he used the first two pieces of advice to weave through the traps and dodge the ones he set off, all the while thinking of the lesson she would be teaching as soon as he got there.

He finally made it out of the trees and into the clearing. He sighed in relief...and fell into a tiger pit.

" When you think you are clear is the most dangerous time of all. Don't THINK you are clear, KNOW you are clear."

Naruto sighed before repeating it just like the last two times.

8

8

8

"So, what were the first two lessons?", she asked as he brushed the dirt off of himself.

" If you almost fall into a trap, don't move, think."

" And what does that mean?"

Naruto had to think about that, but Kurenai waited patiently.

" If you haven't set off the trap...think out your next step or your could end up in another trap?"

Kurenai nodded in approval," Many trap specialists try to think out their victim's next step if one trap is seen. Possibly, even, next ten steps. You need to think about where other dangers might be by checking your surroundings before you make the next step."

" But, then, how do you avoid setting off other traps when you're dodging one that you have set off?"

Good, he was questioning instead of just listening.

" First, what was the second piece?"

"If you fall into a trap, don't think, move."

" And that means..."

Naruto shrugged, " If you set off a trap, get out of there before it gets you."

Kurenai nodded, " Too many times, I've seen someone look down in confusion at what they just tripped and get caught in the aftermath. You don't wonder " What that sizzling noise?" or "What just clicked?" Your only thought should be "MOVE" as you do so. Now, where your question comes into play is the next step. Check where you're going to land. Say both of them together."

Naruto did just that " If you fall into a trap, don't think, move, and check where you're going to land." It made sense.

Once he finished, she elaborated, " Jumping from an activated trap is common sense, but you might land on another one. You need to know where you're landing, and on what, so you can either be prepared to jump away from it, or try to avoid it entirely", she explained. " Now, the last one is the most important", she cued.

" When you think you are clear, is actually the most dangerous time of all. Don't THINK you are clear, KNOW you are clear", Naruto recited. Seemed to be sticking in his head pretty well.

She nodded, " Historically, one of the major causes for fatality of ninja is when they let their guard down, which you did when you got into the clearing. Remember what I said about trap experts trying to figure out your next steps? They will also try to feign you into thinking you are safe, so you fall into an unexpected trap. Not just trap experts either, all shinobi use this tactic for various means. Now, think of the consequences of setting off those traps."

"Consequences?¿", Naruto asked in surprise.

" Do you think an enemy is going to use nothing but non-lethal traps?", she asked rhetorically as she picked up a branch as thick as a leg.

" Take, for instance, if that first tripwire had been one of-", she dropped the branch vertically onto some freshly turned soil, only for the soil to fly up in the air as two vicious looking steel jaws snapped onto the branch in a crunch of splinters, almost going straight through. "-these".

Naruto had landed on his ass as soon as it snapped, " What the hell?¡"

Good reaction.

" This, is a type of trap that originated in Bear Country, so you can imagine what it was initially used for. It was only a little while after it's invention that someone realized it would also be great for shinobi as well, with a little modification of course."

She started pointing and listing.

" The steel is thicker, and can be reinforced from jutsu with seals, if the user has the knowledge to do so. Once it's clamped on, the jaws lock in place, requiring a special tool to get them open again, and that's after you press the spring back down with a vice. Also, notice the spikes welded on, curving inwards to prevent the victim from pulling their leg free, which is why it doesn't sever the leg entirely. It is also-", she pulled on the branch, pulling the trap out by only a few inches before it became taught by a chain anchored into the ground, " -anchored, meaning you're stuck there until you either die, get it free, or gain enough resolve to cut your own leg off. These were used extensively in the Third Shinobi War by Iwa. Care to guess where I got this one?"

Naruto didn't get it for a while, until, on a hunch, he looked down at her legs. There were slight circular scars across her left lower shin.

"...ouch"

" Very much so. Especially when I went from sprinting to a dead stop in an instant. Luckily, my team was able to break the chain and I was brought back to a field hospital where they were able to pry it off. Many weren't as lucky, which brings me to my last point. If you fall into a trap, you not only put yourself in danger, you put everyone around you in danger as well."

"Should I repeat that?"

"Yes"

Once he was done, she continued, " By setting off or falling into a trap, you put every one around you at risk. The trap might be explosive, or poison gas, or there could be multiple traps for your squad mates to fall into now that their attention is on you. It can also alert an enemy where you are so they can form an ambush. And it almost always leaves your squad vulnerable, sitting in one place as they either try to get you out, or worse. These are the consequences of falling into traps. One of the many reasons to be aware of your surroundings".

It was like a lightbulb went off in his head, but then he replayed her words in his head, " One of many?".

" We'll get to the other reasons as the days go. Be ready for whatever I throw your way, and don't expect them to only be here. One of my many goals is to raise your awareness and observe your surroundings more closely, so it would be a moot lesson if you only expect them in the training field."

"...H-hai...so, are we going to go through it more?"

Kurenai shook her head, " We have a lot of things I need to cover with you today, so we'll have to get back to it tomorrow. Right now, I want to see how well you can throw a kunai, so follow me.", She answered as she started walking to another part of the field.

" Hai, Kurenai-senSEI!", she heard him say as he fell into another tiger pit. She stopped and trekked back to the new hole in the ground.

" I forgot to mention that, even though the lesson is on hold, does not mean I won't be testing you on it."

"...I'm not going to get a moment's peace, am I?"

" Sure you will, when you stop falling into all these traps", she quipped as she pulled him out. "Remember the advice I gave you and pay attention to the things around you, even if your attention is on something else."

" It's kinda hard to do both at on-ce...", he almost fell into another pit when they started walking again.

"And, yet, you're getting better at it."

" You didn't booby-trap the whole field, did you?"

"That would be telling."

Naruto groaned as he tried to keep up, avoiding, what looked alot like, one of those buried bear traps...nah. They approached a wooden post with a target on it.

" Alright. I should have tested you on this yesterday, but I want to see your accuracy. Along with kunai, use shuriken as well please."

She watched as he lined them up and let them fly. She saw a problem the minute he picked them up. He ate with his right hand, so that was obviously his dominant one, yet he was throwing with his left. She was expecting abysmal results, so image her surprise when they hit home with fairly good accuracy.

" How was that?", Naruto asked with a hint of pride.

" Pretty good, actually. Though, why aren't you using your right hand to throw?"

Naruto opened his mouth to say something, but them paused and sighed, " Mizuki said it had to be left handed...guess I'm the one with the last laugh."

"Yes you are. He made you ambidextrous, though, you must have trained extensively to do it."

Naruto nodded, " Yeah, a lot actually...amba...dextrose?"

He found a dictionary in front of his face, " Look it up", Kurenai prompted.

It was a minute later, Naruto let out an, "Ohhhh. Why are there a bunch of words in here that are highlighted?"

" Those are the ones you are going to study on your own, and I will be testing you on it every now and then, but back to the original subject, you are also going to be practicing with your right hand."

He looked up at her with a questioning look, " So I can throw with both hands?", he clarified.

"It would be a useful advantage, don't you think?"

" Well...yeah...so practice that as well?"

"On your own time, yes...well, actually we have a little time before I planned to start the next lesson, so let's work on it".

They did just that. Since it was his naturally dominant hand, it only took a while before he started actually hitting the target.

" The rest is just repetition and practice", she stated as she watched him throw the last shuriken.

She looked back down at Naruto when she didn't receive and answer to find him reading the dictionary.

" Ohhh! Hai, Kurenai-sensei."

She wore and amused smile, " Just make sure you study it so you don't have to pull it out all the time."

She received a vigorous nod.

" So...what's the next lesson?"

" Something you really...really need my help with...taijutsu"

"That shouldn't take long"

"..."

Kurenai watched as Naruto practiced a move over and over. It was the first out of three she would have him practicing from her own taijutsu. She was basically splicing practiced moves into his...style..by observing his movements while fighting his clones, finding positions he used regularly, figuring out what attack or defense could be switched into that position, and integrating it into the movements.

If Gai ever saw what she was doing, she held no doubt she'd never hear the end of the "unyouthfullness" of it all, but she didn't have the skill to try and rework his whole form, and Gai had his own team to worry about. Yeah, that's the reason she didn't want him within 20 feet of her student.

In her defense, what was coming out of it was surprisingly tricky, seeing him going through rough movements only to snap into a well executed high kick that could leave someone with a broken neck...well...ribs in Naruto's case. He was very short for his age, so she had to wonder what his eating habits were like. They couldn't be too good because he lacked the one thing kids needed to get them to eat healthy. But back to the task at hand.

" Alright Naruto, that will be enough for taijutsu today."

This time, Naruto looked less eager, " Aww, but I was learning some cool moves."

" And you will continue to, but next is something that you also need to work on. Chakra control."

She was mildly amused when a sick look came to his face, " Chakra control? You mean sticking leaves to my forehead? Bleagh! I don't need that stuff."

Obviously, he was warming up to her.

" Oh? Then make 3 shadow clones"

*Poof*

"That's four"

*Poof*

"Six"

*Poof*

"Four again"

" I'm gonna get it this time!" *Poof*

"Seven"

*Poof*

" Ten"

"This time for sure!"

*Poof*

" Nope", One clone of eight mocked.

" Be quiet. You're not helping!"

The clone harumphed, " It's not our fault your chakra control sucks ass", the rest of the clones agreed with him.

Naruto slumped in defeat, " So...about that leaf sticking?"

Kurenai shook her head, "That exercise only works on someone with small chakra reserves, like regular academy students. You, on the other hand, have large chakra reserves, so you'll have to start with exercises that require manipulating large amounts of chakra and make your way down. It's too bad your teachers didn't notice, though I think if they were better attuned to chakra signatures, you wouldn't have been able to pull off as many pranks as you did", she poked with a hint of a smirk, which made Naruto sheepish.

" So-", she continued,"-we are going to start off with the tree climbing exercise."

Naruto looked skeptical until she walked up to a tree, walked up the tree, and walked under the branch of a tree, then looked back down to see his gawking face.

"You start by laying down by a tree a putting your heels against it. You then channel chakra to the soles and find a level that allows your feet to stick enough to hold your weight. The last step is to run up the tree with that amount of chakra applied."

Naruto looked confused, " Why run and not walk like you did?"

" A very good question. It would seem like walking would be easier, but one thing makes it harder, actually.", she started as she walked back to the trunk, " Gravity still applies on your body, so while you're walking up the tree, gravity is trying to pull you back down, and while the chakra you apply to your feet reinforces your ankles as well, your calf muscles need to be able to take the weight, otherwise-", she bent backwards as she let gravity win, making her flush with the trunk and looking upside-down at Naruto, "-this will happen."

"So...it's not just a chakra exercise, it's some super pull-up?"

Kurenai couldn't help it. The chuckle came too fast for her to suppress, " Basically. Running up the tree allows you to get the control down first while your momentum keeps you from falling backwards too easily, but you will be practicing it daily until you can leisurely walk up the tree at the pace I displayed, but for now, find a tree and start with the first step."

He saluted and ran for another tree, stopped suddenly, and avoided a snare. He seemed to be taking her lessons to heart. He found another tree and started.

She let him practice it until two in the afternoon. Most genin would have been exhausted hours ago. Endurance and chakra were strong in this one. More surprisingly, was his progress up the tree. He was already half way up. Sure she knew giving him step by step instructions would speed up the process, but not to this extent. There was talent there.

It's too bad Iruka didn't see it. One of the many cons of the Academy was having one or two people try to teach more than two dozen students at a time. Even worse was the cookie cutter style they did it in to pump shinobi out into the system. A lot of kids didn't learn well under such a system, which is why it had such a horrendous failure/dropout rate. Sure, it leads to having more ninja, but when it nearly fails a kid with a bijuu sealed within him and high chakra reserves, there's something wrong with the status quo.

In most cases, and possibly Naruto's, alot of students just needed personal instruction. She'd find out as the days progressed if she was right.

" Alright Naruto, let's call it a day for training. Otherwise there might not be anything left at the mission hall."

As soon as she said that, he skidded to a stop from his run at the tree and was in front of her with the most excitement she had seen thus far.

" Like a mission? An actual mission? A mission where we rescue people? Like princesses, or feudal lords, or stuff like that? Or-"

She looked down at him with a perplexed expression as she talked a thousand miles an hour.

What? Was he storing all his excess energy or something?

She felt she better rein him in before he started reenacting the Third Shinobi War.

" Hai hai. Now please stop jumping around."

" But I finally get to do cool missions and stUFF!"*THUD*

Kurenai walked up to the hole, " You sure seem to like finding these tiger pits, don't you?"

"...Yeah...can you help me out?"

"Are you going to stop acting like a lunatic?"

"...Hai.."

Kurenai sighed as she pulled him out.

8

8

8

8

*A few hours later*

Ahh...what a glaring problem.

"It ran over here!"

"Grab it idiot!"

"Watch what you're shoving!"

"Get outta my way!"

They had gotten to the mission office a little too late, and there was only one mission left to take. Catch that thrice-damned cat.

It was amusing to see the reality hit Naruto of just what he would be getting for missions for the time being, just like it was for all teachers, who had to go through the same thing once upon a time. Especially for this mission.

Then, Naruto got the idea to use his clones as backup.

" I got it!"

"That's my leg you idiot!"

"Then get your leg out of the way!"

" Why don't you make me!"

The problem was, there was no coördination between them...at all...In fact, now they're fighting eachother.

After a handful of seconds passed, Kurenai stuck her fingers into her mouth and let out the loudest noise the woman had ever produced in a while. All the Narutos stopped their brawl to look at where the whistle came from, only to see Kurenai staring right back at them.

" Are you done beating yourself up?"

Naruto could hear the irk in her voice.

" Because it seems we should have done team exercises after all. I just never thought someone couldn't even work with themselves", she lectured as she crossed her arms. Naruto knew a dressing down when he heard one, but this one stung. She didn't need to glare for it to be a glare, and she didn't need to raise her voice for it to be a tongue lashing.

"S-sorry Kurenai-sensei. They just do whatever they want like they have a mind of their own."

"A mind of our own..", one clone chuckled sarcastically, " It's your mind we have, dumbass." Naruto made to argue, but Kurenai cut him off.

" Your clone is right. They have your mentality, your memories, and your attitude. So why do you think they're not working with you?"

" Because he can't stand himself! HAHAHA*BAM**POOF*", the clone heckled before getting hit with the blunt end of a kunai and dispelling, courtesy of Kurenai. The other clones wisely shut their mouths.

She just decided to get to the point, " When you make clones, what are you thinking as you do it? A plan? A goal?"

Naruto thought about it before scratching his head, " The only thing I really think of is making them."

"And there lies your problem", Kurenai stated. She didn't know the technique, but she did see it enough to know how it was implemented, and how they might work.

"Try this. Dispel the rest of your clones, and then make a new batch, but, this time, concentrate on them fully obeying you, and don't doubt that they won't. They are not people, Naruto, they are you."

He looked doubtful before a cleared throat and a stare made him realise that was exactly his problem. So, he concentrated on making them follow his orders to the letter. With a few poofs, four new clones came into existence and stared at Naruto. Boy, did they looked serious...wait. They were waiting for orders! He froze in the moment until he realized he was doing it again and started thinking of a plan.

" Alright, here's what we're going to do..."

Kurenai watched as they went after the cat again. It was a big change. Still rough and unrefined, but a major improvement over what was happening the first time. It was only a half an hour later that-

"GOTCHYA!"

"MEOW!"

"OWOWOWOWOW!¡"

...She decided to save her student before the cat tore his face off.

*At the Mission Office*

Kurenai watched as the Daimyo's wife squeezed that cat to death, just like she had with every cat before this one, until they ultimately ran away in the right direction and were never seen again in Fire Country.

"No wonder it ran away", Naruto muttered after she left, " I would have clawed someone's face off to get away from that death sentence too"

" It's the same reason I had the mission when I was a genin." Kurenai replied.

"...She'll never learn, will she?", Naruto groaned.

" Nope...which is why we have the mission 4 to 5 times a week", the Hokage joined in as he puffed his pipe.

" And so I have to do it for my first mission?", Naruto huffed.

" Think of it as payback for what you taught my grandson", Hiruzen replied while peering at Naruto with accusation.

Naruto flinched before hazarding a look at his sensei, who was looking back down at him with a questioning stare.

" You..taught...the Hokage's grandson something?"

Naruto waved his hands defensively in front of him, " Uh, just a prank he could use on people. You know, get a rise out of them"

" You seriously did not just say that", the Hokage grumbled.

"What?", Naruto asked in confusion.

"...Nevermind. Mission accomplished. Money's doled out. Let's call it a day", the Hokage sighed.

Kurenai decided it was better left unknown and ushered her student out of the office.

"So, next time tomorrow Sensei?"

"Actually, there's something that's been picking at my mind since we finished the mission. We're going back to the training field for a while."

"...Eh?"

8

8

8

*At the training field, a little while and a snare trap later*

Naruto grumbled to himself as he rubbed his sore leg, " Stupid snare traps. What are we going to do this late at night?", Naruto asked a little grumpily. The sun was setting afterall.

" It's a theory that I wanted to test. Do you remember the clone that was insulting you during the mission?"

Naruto looked confused, " Err, yeah. He was being an ass. Why?"

" Exactly, he was being cruel and brash. Do you usually act like that? Maybe some cold bitterness lies behind that face?"

" No! I never act like that."

" Which is why we're here. You said you were just concentrating on making the clones. You gave them no goals, no objectives, no purpose. A being with no purpose and a very finite...short exsistence, and your memories and thoughts...I want you to make a clone while thinking of nothing."

Naruto looked at her like she had gone off her rocker, and only on the second day! Regardless, he cleared his mind and made a clone, surprising even himself when it was just one clone that popped up.

They both looked at the clone, which seemed to do the trick. The clone narrowed it's eyes at the two, " What the fuck are you retards looking at?"

Naruto choked, " T-that's our sensei you moron!"

The clone scoffed, " YOUR sensei, reject, not mine. Though, I wonder why she took the village outcast as a student? Was she ordered to, or did she just take pity on the butthurt little failure-"

Kurenai had to physically restrain Naruto from destroying his clone as he shook with anger, though the clone didn't even flinch even with the fist a few inches from his face.

" Awww, did I hit a nerve?" the clone mocked.

" You sure don't act like your creator." Kurenai grumbled as she kept holding back Naruto.

" What insight, Captain Obvious. Though with a Jounin the same age as her boytoy and half the skill, I guess I shouldn't expect much."

"..."

"Aww, I struck another nerve. It's too bad your glare isn't half as scary as the Uchiha's, you wannabe*POOF*"

She heard enough. Instead of killing it herself, she just let go of Naruto, who gladly did it for her.

" I never said any of that! I never even thought any of that!", he yelled at himself, mostly.

" You didn't. The clone did...", Kurenai retorted as she got a lid on her composure. That stung afterall. "...make another one, please", she finally requested.

Naruto looked at her in shock, " The last one just-"

" Don't worry about it Naruto. Just make another one."

Naruto was quiet for a while, until he finally conceded and did just that.

As soon as the clone formed, it put on a coy smirk and put it's hands in the ram sign. A poof later, it turned into Naruto's...Orioke no jutsu...luckily with clothes.

Any relief Naruto was feeling was lost on Kurenai as he palmed his face, " What the hell are you doing?" he complained at the clone.

" Just getting into a form you like Go-sha-jin-sa-ma", the clone punctuated as he...she...it strutted up to Naruto, swaying hips and all.

Naruto and Kurenai's eyes both widened. What the hell was going on?

The clone got right up to Naruto, " I'm surprised you haven't tried having sex with me yet. After all, I have all the right parts, and it would just be masturbation in the end...or the front, heehee."

"W..wh-what?"

"Don't tell me you're too embarrassed because I remind you of what you originally designed me to be. Buuu, just think of it as a very...taboo...night of passion." the clone wrapped it's arms around Naruto's neck as it talked in a sultry tone.

" S-stop. Stop talking! Dispel!"

" Awww, what's wrong? Aren't I sexy enough for you? Or...oh...maybe you want me to look like her. I know you get turned on by the-*Poof*" Naruto jabbed the...clone...with a kunai.

" No more. I can't do that anymore. Who knows what else will pop out." Naruto declared as the smoke dissipated, his gaze hard.

Kurenai shook herself out of her stupor and surmised what was happening.

" I apologize for putting you through this Naruto. But I think I know what's going on."

" Really? Please tell me." he practically begged. He had just tried to seduce himself after all.

" Simply put, those clones were playing to your inner feelings".

Naruto stared at her blankly," ...What?"

Kurenai elaborated, " The first clone was obvious. By not concentrating on the clone, you let the jutsu just randomly copy something from your mind as the personality instead of just your actual personality, in this case, your anger and doubt."

" So why would it say those things? I never thought anything like that about your or...well at least you"

" He was your doubts and anger in a physical form Naruto, with all of your memories and thoughts as weapons. Combined with the knowledge that his time was short and had no purpose in life, he used your own knowledge and doubts to hurt you...us."

Naruto was silent. "...That's heavy", Naruto finally spoke up.

" It is", she agreed simply. She could only imagine what a similar clone of her would say...

"...And that last one..."

"...Ah...that would most likely be your...lust...mixed with other things I'm sure you don't want me to intrude on." she replied with a red face. After all...a similar clone of her..." But it proves a point, that there's more danger to this jutsu than just the chakra needed. You need to concentrate on your clones at all times when making them, otherwise you might have one that haphazardly divulges sensitive information, or slows down your progress, physically or emotionally hurt friends, or possibly even get you killed...there's a worse outcome as well."

" Like if the Kyuubi somehow managed to Shanghai a clone?"

Kurenai's eyebrows shot up, " I'm...surprised you thought of that."

Naruto shrugged, " If it copies things I don't really want people seeing..who knows what it could do."

" That's a good point. You wouldn't have happened to read anything about the jutsu past the description and instructions by chance?"

"Um...no.", he admitted.

" I'll have to see if I can get a look at it then. Without knowing the full capabilities and drawbacks of a jutsu, you put yourself in danger. As for the possibility of the Kyuubi influencing one of your clones, I highly doubt it since it's not in your head for the jutsu to copy...is it?" she sounded so confident until the final part.

Naruto's expression screwed up in thought as he physically expressed searching himself. Then his eyes shot open.

" I think it is!"

Kurenai's eyes widened.

" It keeps saying "RAMEN! RAMEN!"

Kurenai's relaxed and shot an irked look at Naruto.

" That's not the Kyuubi"

*GROWL*

" See?¡ It growled at us!" he pointed at his stomach. " Help me sensei! Help me feed the beast before it's free again!"

" Goodnight, Naruto", Kurenai dismissed as she started walking away.

" Awww, but I'm hungry...well, I guess I can boil down the paste into soup from the wallpaper on the north side this time, I never liked the floral print anyw-"

An arm grabbed his shoulder and started dragging him.

8

8

8

8

*At Ichiraku's*

"Please tell me you were joking", Kurenai complained as they sat at the counter

" Err...Did you want me to say I'm joking or-"

"-Nevermind. Wallpaper paste?"

" Well I ran out of money last week, and ran out of food yesterday, especially after they shut off the power because my bill is overdue. I had to clear out my fridge because it was all bad. The last time I had to eat it is when all the bills aligned in one week and I couldn't buy food."

Kurenai pinched her nose, " How big could your bills be that you can't afford food all the time?"

" They're enormous! It doesn't help that all the appliances are ancient and suck power like an Akimichi does food. The last time I tried using the microwave, the power meter looked like it was going to melt! Even the water heater is electric, and you have to run the water for 20 minutes before it even gets hot, so my water bill is astronomical too." he complained.

She had a hard time believing it, but then she lived in a newer apartment building. The side of town Naruto lived in was old, as in founding-of-the-village old. Maybe she should look into it.

" So how long will it take you to catch up?"

" Umm. Three to four days until I have enough money to get my power back."

"...three to four days?¿ How much is this bill?"

" Well, it was 8,000 ryou (around 800 bucks) last month"

Kurenai's shock was evident as she gaped at Naruto. That was over five times what she paid! She was definitely looking into this.

Until then.

" Here's your orders. One miso for the sensei, and one vegetable for the skinny student", Ayame joked.

Naruto looked at it incredulously, " Vegetable?¿ Why not beef or Miso?"

Kurenai broke her chopsticks as she retorted," Do you ever wonder why you're shorter than other kids your age?"

"...because I eat wallpaper paste?"

" Besides that"

"Err...I'm guessing it has something to do with vegetables?"

" Precisely. While ramen is good on occasion, it doesn't have any of the nutrients a boy your age needs to grow."

Naruto opened his mouth to retort, but Ayame piped up, " She's right you know. If I ate this stuff all the time when I was a kid, I'd be as short as you."

Naruto looked at her in disbelief, then looked at Teuchi in the back to see him nod, " Nothing but empty calories and salt. Can't deny it." he admitted.

Ack. Even the owners of the store were siding with his sensei.

" Shouldn't you two be defending your own products?", Naruto retorted.

" Naruto, we cherish you as more than a good customer. So we also want to see you grow strong...and you're not going to do that on Ramen and wallpaper paste. The vegetable ramen doesn't even have that many more nutrients in it. You need more fruits and vegetables. Good heaps of protein too", Teuchi admitted.

Naruto pouted. They acted like he ate it all the time, " And where am I supposed to get this miracle food?", Naruto grumbled as he started on his ramen.

Ayame looked at him incredulously, " The same place you get all your other food."

Naruto looked at her in confusion, " The vending machines?"

"...", All three looked at him in confusion.

" You mean...all your instant ramen and other stuff is from...vending machines?", Ayame mumbled in shock.

" Well, yeah. None of the grocery stores want my business. So I just buy stuff out of the vending machines around Konoha. They sell alot of things."

"...except nutritional items." Kurenai quipped.

" One of them sells bananas"

"*STAAAAARE*x3"

"...I've never used it before though", He admitted under pressure.

" *SIGHx3"

" At least the vending machines don't care who's behind the money", Naruto grumbled as he ate.

That's when Ayame got an idea.

" Hey, why don't we buy the food for Naruto Dad? We go through wholesalers from out of the village, so not only would they not care where it goes, but it's also cheaper".

Teuchi put on a thinking pose, " I guess it couldn't hurt. After all, the bigger he gets, the more ramen he eats."

" Dad! Stop joking."

"Alright, alright. We can order up some extra every time we get a shipment. and being the chef that I am, I know what he needs." he declared with a nod.

" Really? Thanks guys, you're the best!", Naruto cried out with teary eyes.

" Don't thank me too much. You're the one who's going to have to figure out how to cook it", Teuchi informed him, causing Naruto to go white.

" Wait. Me? Cook? As in prepare food? As in take food items and turn them into other edible things?"

Naruto found another book stuck in his face, courtesy of Ayame this time. " Just follow the instructions. The rest is practice and determination."

"...Story of my life."

A half an hour later found Naruto trudging home, hoping to feel the comfort of his bed soon. Today had been a wierd day. He started training with his sensei by getting caught in traps, had to chase a cat around the forest, found out his clones could turn against him...or put themselves against him...and found out that his eating habits were horrible and was now getting fresh food from his favorite restaurant that he had to cook for himself.

Today had been a really wierd day.

These were the thoughts on his mind as he trudged up to the steps and froze dead in his tracks, teetering on the edge of another tiger pit.

"What the hell?¡ did she booby trap my apartment too?¡"

After an hour of paranoid searching, he concluded that she didn't. He was all for building up awareness, but leave it out of his apartment. After a much needed shower, he breathed a sigh of relief when he laid eyes on the bed.

Hopping into it...he promptly fell through the frame with the mattress. He glared at the ceiling until a piece of paper floated down and landed on his face. He picked it off and read it.

'The bed is the easiest place to trap, gaki. Kurenai-chan may get to have her fun during work hours, but I get to have my fun off hours.

Your secret tormentor

Someone else did this. He would find out who. HE. WOULD. FIND. OUT. WHO.

*The next morning*

Kurenai walked through the brisk morning air, towards a part of the village that she hadn't been in for a while, for an important reason.

She had to find out why Naruto was paying so much for electricity. Could it be foul play? Bad wiring? Someone leeching off his power? She had planned to take it up with the Hokage, but she wanted to find out for herself.

Which is why it was 6am and she was walking through the red light district towards her student's home.

All of the..."Ladies of the night" had already retired for the...morning, leaving the display windows empty and the streets bare except for massage parlor promoters and the less experienced prostitutes.

So why? Why had she somehow found her hands full of tissue packs, calling cards, and some girl's bra?¡ She hadn't even remembered accepting anything! She hated this part of town for many reasons, one of them being how far the line between prostitute and ninja skewed. She could only wonder how many of them used to be kunoichi and shinobi.

Her thoughts were sidetracked as she heard a wolf whistle directed at her...from another woman...girl, her...coworker accentuating her curves for her to see.

...She really hated this part of town.

Not soon enough, she found Naruto's apartment building. It was old, very old. While it was somewhat run down, it was a hearty structure that would probably be around until whenever or ifever Konoha found it's end.

Finding Naruto's apartment was a little difficult, but she finally found herself in front of his door.

She knocked.

*Inside*

"Muh!...Wha?", Naruto groggily woke up from his bed. He had spent another hour last night finding his box spring, which was on the roof of the building.

*Knock*

" Oh, come on." He whined. Who the hell could it be at 6freakingAM in the morning?! Well...the list was endless in this neighborhood.

*Knock*

" Alright, alright. I'm coming." he grumped as he got out of bed and grumbled his way to the door.

" This better not be about that Jesus guy again, cause I didn't even look for him the first time!", Kurenai heard as he neared the door.

The door flung open for Kurenai to see him in pajamas and the funniest looking night-cap she had ever seen.

Naruto's glare turned into shock, " Kurenai-sensei? What are you doing here? Am I late for training or something?"

" Training is on hold until I get to the bottom of your electrical issue."

" I have an issue?"

" I'd call 8,000 ryou a month, an issue."

Naruto looked at her questioningly, " Why, how much do you pay a month?"

" No more than 1800"

Naruto's mouth dropped open, " That little?¡ Man, the appliances in my house suck"

Kurenai folded your arms, " You can't actually believe it's your appliances giving you such a big bill."

"Like I said, they're ancient." He insisted.

" Then we'll test them and see", she said, holding up a power meter.

" Err, isn't that what they took out until I pay my power bill?", he asked unsurely.

" I'm a jounin Naruto. It comes with a few perks. Like getting the power back on for the day to conduct and investigation."

"...only for the day?"

" Yes. Until you pay your extraordinarily large bill. Unplug all of your appliances while I plug it in."

Naruto did just that as Kurenai pulled open the panel and plugged the meter back in. As soon as she did, the disc started spinning like a buzzsaw. So, she was ri-

"-Sensei! I'm having *ugh* a little trouble pulling the fridge out to unplug it!" Her thoughts were interupted as Naruto called out into the hallway.

...Nooo. It couldn't be.

She walked into the kitchen. As soon as she laid eyes on the refrigerator, she had to take into account that maybe Naruto was right. The fridge had a manual latch door afterall, and they stopped making those decades before she was even born. Naruto was busy trying to pull the fridge out with a group of four clones, and the thing was hardly budging, even when she joined in. The thing weighed at least a ton!

Not soon enough, they finally got it out far enough to see that their effort was in vain. The damn thing was hardwired into the power outlet!

"*sigh* Do you have a fuse box anywhere around here?" Kurenai asked, looking to shut it down at the source.

" Yeah, it's right over there", Naruto pointed to a box in the wall of the kitchen.

As soon as she opened it up, she deadpanned. " These are knife switches...and the biggest fuses I've ever seen." Ancient indeed. It didn't take too long to find the one leading to the fridge. It was the one emanating heat like a radiator. Finding a broom, she used the handle to throw the switch to the off position.

"Go check the meter and tell me if it stopped spinning"

Naruto did just that.

" Yep! Dead stop!"

" You have got to be kidding me." she grumbled as she stared at the knife switch. What about the other appliances? She set her sights on the particularly old microwave. Pulling it out, she read the power requirements on the tag.

"Six kilowatts...s-six kilowatts?¿" she stuttered out in disbelief. Her own microwave only used a quarter of that!

" I told you it uses alot of power." Naruto retorted as he walked back into the kitchen.

" Naruto, these two appliances use more power than four family households." She stated in disbelief.

" I know. But it's not like I have the money to buy new ones", he fired back.

She thought about that. There was no way the landlord didn't update the appliances in the building, because no...adult..would pay that much for electricity. Maybe they had changed the rest of the appliances and not Naruto's...

" I need to speak to one of your neighbors", she stated.

Naruto flinched, " Err, I think Risa-san is home, but she's probably working"

" It won't take long"

She found Risa-san's door quick enough and knocked.

" I really don't think this is a good idea", Naruto mumbled.

*Woof* *Woof* A dog barked, rather lamely.

" Bad doggy! No bark!", she heard a female chastise the dog before opening the door.

Kurenai stiffened when Risa opened the door, showing her clad in...leather...stuff...hardly.

As soon as Risa laid eyes on Kurenai, she started eyeing her up like a predator would a piece of meat.

" And how can I help you, cutie?"

"Err...I was wondering...if you have had any appliance upgrades since you moved in.", Kurenai strained out, noticing the "doggy" behind Risa was actually a man playing the part...collar and all.

Risa looked at her questioningly before seeing Naruto behind her, " Oohhhh. You mean the shrimp is still using the crap that came with the apartment?¿ No wonder my lights dim all the time. I swear I could run a band of electric chairs off the power those pieces of shit used."

"A-ah...so the landlord hasn't updated anything"

" Pffft. Hell no. I just bought my own. I haven't even seen that old bat in over two years. But at least that old refrigerator turned into a nice time-out box for naughty slaves, so I got something out of it", Risa looked on...the bright side...?

"I...see..Um..thank you for your time."

Risa put on a smirk, " Now that that's out of the way, how about I give you a free overnight visit? I'd love to have you on the end of a leash."

" No! Sorry. Already taken." Kurenai blurted out quickly as she backed away.

" Awww. What a lucky son of a-", she shut the door as she declared her disappointment.

Naruto was as beet red as Kurenai.

"...You live...next door...to a dominatrix..", Kurenai mumbled out in broken speech.

"Is that what they're called? I didn't want to look to far into it", he answered distractingly.

She stayed silent as she tried to block out unwanted images...and concentrate on the task at hand. She knew the appliances sucked power like gluttons, most likely the rest of them as well. She knew the electircal wiring was ancent, and probably bleeding off power by the kilowatt. She also knew the landlord was supposed to update appliances and maintain the structure, which she was clearly not doing. The next step then was to confront her.

*At the landlords door*

Kurenai knocked for the tenth time. She was really getting irritated.

" I don't think I've seen her since I started the Academy. Does she even live here anymore?", Naruto mused as Kurenai finally had it and started rifling through her pockets.

" I don't care if I get reprimanded for this. I'm talking to this "landlord" NOW", she bit out as she pulled out a pick and started manipulating the lock.

Naruto expertly acted as a lookout as Kurenai worked. She would ignore that.

Finally, the lock gave in and the door opened. A pressure difference caused a slight backdraft as the door opened, and then a pungent smell greeted them.

Both wrinkled their noses at it before soldiering into the darkened apartment.

Something was wrong. There was dust caked on everything, including the stuffed cats that littered the apartment...both shuddered.

" Is anybody here?", Kurenai called out as she fumbled through the dark. She found herself in the living room, where the only light came from a T.V. going, it's picture malfunctioning, yet showing someone in a chair watching it.

" Excuse me...Are you awake?", she called out as she approached the person.

" Found the light switch!", Naruto called out as he flicked it on, lighting up the whole apartment.

" ACK!"

He jumped when he heard that. Was that Kurenai-sensei?¿ He ran into the living room to find her pressed up to a wall, grasping her chest as she heaved air, staring wideeyed at someone in the chair.

He looked.

His skin crawled and he started dry heaving.

It was a mummy, and not a good looking one either.

* An hour later*

Hiruzen, Naruto, and Kurenai looked on as Anbu carried out the covered remains of Naruto's landlord. They had estimated she died well over a year ago of natural causes.

" May I ask why you felt the need to break into her apartment in the first place Kurenai-san?", Sarutobi finally asked the weary jounin.

" I can actually show you why Hokage-sama", she muttered out tiredly.

* In Naruto's apartment*

The Hokage stared at the refrigerator in shock," ...My mother bought the same model when I was 10", he mumbled out.

He then found Naruto's power bill in his view, and his pipe fell out of his mouth.

" The Sarutobi compound doesn't even use this much power! Why didn't you say anything about this Naruto?¡"

He shrugged, " I thought it was normal."

" Is there anything else you think was "normal"?", the Hokage inquired. Kurenai hadn't thought about that.

" Well...there's the white crap all over my pipes that keeps flaking off..."

"..."

"..."

"And then there's the black spots in my closet."

"...What black spots?", Hiruzen finally asked.

Naruto led them to his room.

" Err, don't mind the poster"

How could they not? After all, neither of them knew Tsunade did a bikini shoot.

" These black spots", Naruto pointed them out after opening the closet. They tore themselves away from the visage.

Hiruzen blanched when he saw the water damage and abundant black mold.

"...Okay..."

* 15 minutes later*

Anbu was busy evacuating and cordoning off the building.

An engineering crew was suiting up for an evaluation of the building.

Residents were griping about being pulled from their apartments to the man in charge of the operation.

Naruto was still in his pajamas and Kurenai was pinching the bridge of her nose.

The Hokage walked up to the pair, " I want you two to meet me in my office in two hours"

" Jiji, I'm still in my pajamas!", Naruto complained.

" Your stuff will be taken to a room at the hotel down the road, along with all the other residents'. Until then, you'll have to find something else to wear."

Naruto slumped. Kurenai pinched harder.

* Two hours later*

Three people trudged to the Hokage Tower. Naruto in a..borrowed outfit. Kurenai with a bit of stress in her features, and Asuma who was wondering why Kurenai borrowed some of his old clothes for Naruto to wear.

" You don't have to come with Asuma", Kurenai said tiredly.

" Oh, yes I do. I gotta hear what happened. The whole district is nuts.", Asuma retorted.

" And how would you know that?"

" My favorite tobacco shop is in there." He answered with a grin.

Kurenai sighed. Of course it was.

" You seem stressed."

"...It's been a long day."

" But it's only 10:30"

"...don't remind me", she groaned.

* A while later*

All three looked at the Hokage as he regarded them. He knew he'd see his son along with them. It was inevitability.

He looked down at the final report.

" Your apartment building hasn't been renovated...ever...since it was built during the founding of Konoha", Hiruzen started off, only shocking Asuma.

" The wiring is almost as old as me, and uninsulated in large portions, making it an electrocution and fire hazard. The pipes have asbestos on them, and they're leaking, causing water damage and toxic mold. They also found the gas pipes leaking, three more dead bodies, and a drug lab setup in one of the abandoned apartments. While the building's structure is sound, the innards need to be gutted, repiped, rewired, refinished, and refitted."

All three looked at him with mouths open.

"...which means...", Naruto left off.

" Which means, your going to be living in that hotel room for a while once you get it, AND you need to go to the hospital".

" Eh?¡ I do?"

" Naruto, you were exposed to asbestos and toxic mold. You most likely have it in your lungs, and it's not going to go away without medical intervention. Luckily, Tsunade invented a way to pull substances out of the body with a medium. It should work for this as well. All the residents are being tested and treated."

"...Yikes.."

" Where is the money coming from for all this pops?" Asuma questioned.

" Very simple, the landlords account. She's been saving the rent from all the tenants for years, so there's plenty to pay for everything, including the medical bills." he answered matter of factly.

" Is that legal? I mean, shouldn't the family get the money?" Asuma asked with a questioning look.

" Obviously, she had no family Asuma. Otherwise she wouldn't have been able to turn into a mummy in the year and a half she's been absent. If she does have family, they sure as hell don't deserve it." Hiruzen voiced as he puffed his pipe. " Now, I believe you have an appointment with the hospital, Naruto"

Naruto slumped, " This isn't going to hurt is it?"

"...Probably a little bit"

*At the hospital*

Asuma fiddled with an unlit cigarette as he sat on a bench. Unfortunately, he couldn't smoke it inside the hospital, and he was currently acting as a headrest for Kurenai, who had nodded off 10 minutes after Naruto went into treatment. That was two hours ago. How long did it take to pull some dust and mold out of his lungs?

"Mhm"

Ah shit. He moved too much.

Kurenai woke up with a groggy look, " Is he out yet?"

"Nope...I'm surprised."

" That he isn't out yet?"

" No. That you're waiting for him. Most team leaders wouldn't even bother going with them to the hospital."

"...I hate the idea of getting out of the hospital and seeing no one there waiting for you."

" Personal experience?"

" Yes. It's not a good feeling. Besides, I've unintentionally upturned his life in the matter of a couple days. The least I can do is take him to his hotel room after lung surgery." she replied with a hint of sarcasm.

Asuma chuckled. Naruto didn't seem to resent it.

Finally, the door opened and Naruto walked out, with a jar and a...rather odd look on his face.

" Did everything go alright?", Kurenai asked as she quirked an eyebrow at his relaxed posture.

Naruto just seemed to realize they were there, but more with interest than shock, " Heheh, yeah", he replied loosely.

Kurenai was confused, " Are..you feeling alright?"

"mmm, yeah...everything's all goooood", he...replied... as his head sank to the side, " They even lemme keep the...stuff they...got", he replied as his eyes drifted to the ceiling.

"They didn't give you anything else did they?", Asuma asked knowingly. The doctors were loose with painkillers afterall...if you could really call them painkillers.

" Oh yeeeaah...yeah...whoooa", he mumbled as something, actual or delusional, caught his attention.

Both adults sighed. He was stoned off his rocker. A common occurence in afterpatient pickup, and one they weren't innocent of.

"How long is he going to be like this?", Kurenai asked Asuma. She prefered the sober Naruto better.

" If it's the usual stuff, it should start toning down in a little while-Err, you might wanna catch him before he wanders off", Asuma said while pointing.

Kurenai quickly caught up to her less than lucid student, "Wrong way Naruto. We're going this way", she physically directed.

" But the butterflies are so pretty"

" You can look at them later"

8

8

8

8

* An hour and a half later*

After many redirects and setbacks, the "painkillers" started losing their edge, and they finally found Naruto's room.

" Are we there yet? Cause I'm really starting to get sick of the ground making ripples, and my chest feels tight...and what the heck is in this jar I'm holding?", he groaned before staring at the jar that he had been holding for god knows how long.

"That's the particulate they pulled from your lungs, and yes, we're finally here." Kurenai sighed in stress and relief at the same time. Good, she wouldn't have to watch over him. She unlocked the door and opened it.

"Well...it's very...grey", Asuma compromised, staring into the suite they gave Naruto.

" That's really wierd looking furniture...it looks uncomfortable too", Naruto mumbled out in his stupor.

"...It's...only temporary...so just ignore that...stuff", Kurenai broke out, pushing him into the room with a blue face. She should have seen it coming. The hotel was in the red light district after all, " Just rest up. At least the...bed...looks inviting". The top half anyways. " It's all expenses paid, so use room service if you're hungry. I'll see you tomorrow morning". She finished, backing out of the dun...room.

" Okay...sorry for being such a bother today", he mumbled.

Kurenai was confused, " Wait, bother? You've hardly been a bother. It should be me apologizing for what happened today."

Naruto shook his head tiredly, " If it wasn't for you, I'd still have this crud in my lungs and a huge power bill. So bother me as much as you want. I'd like to think that if I had had a mother, she'd have cared just as much".

"..."

" Well...see you tomorrow Kurenai-sensei", he slurred and mumbled as he drug himself through the door and shut it.

Kurenai was still trying to contemplate what the hell just happened.

"...Did he just-"

" Compare you to a mother figure? Let's see. First authoritative female figure in his life, an orphan since birth, showed concern over his troubles and instead of just talking, sought to correct them without him asking. Yep. And only on the second day. You're a natural!", Asuma proclaimed as he squeezed her shoulder congratulatorily.

"..is that normal?", she finally asked.

" For orphans, yes. Well, unless the sensei is an ass or plays favorites with the prodigy or something of that nature.", he answered back as they walked out of the hotel.

*The next morning*

Kurenai watched as Naruto hopped, jiggled, and danced through the training field, and they hadn't even started yet. She had relegated most of them to the training field for now, but she had set one up next to his apartment. She had forgotten to ask if he had fallen into it or not in hue of what happened yesterday. She'd have to ask when he got there.

" Gyah!"

...If he got through. Yeah...he was getting through...she thought.

It was ten minutes later that he got up to her, a little more disshelved than when he started.

" See, you're getting better at it."

" Well, apparently, I'm getting extra help. I forgot to show you this yesterday, but do you know who's writing this is?", he asked handing her the note.

One look at the writing and the content and she let out a sigh. " Anko", she grumbled, before her eyes shot open and looked at Naruto, who was now giving off an evil smirk.

" Now I have a name. Heheheheh.", he chuckled darkly as he rubbed his hands. She had seen that look before, a day before the jounin lounge mysteriously filled up with whipped cream.

" What did she do?", Kurenai almost didn't want to ask.

" She stole my box spring and threw it on the roof! Then she even got into my room at the hotel and rigged the bed canopy to fall on me when I was asleep!"

"...Yeah. Sounds like she deserves some payback", Kurenai agreed. She did? Thinking on it, yeah, she did. If Naruto could get her a few good times, who was she to stop him? Especially after framing her with that lingerie. Asuma was still bugging her about it.

" Just don't go too overboard. She can have a sadistic streak"

Naruto looked that up. "Oh. Well so can I", he proclaimed as he shut the book with conviction.

" Alright, let's start on continuing tree climbing before we get to taijutu", Kurenai moved along, ushering Naruto to do the same.

Naruto snapped a salute, " Hai, Kure-senei!", he proclaimed before going to a tree.

" Kure-sensei huh?", she mumbled. So this was the honor of a Naruto nickname. At least it wasn't derogatory like some of the others, as fitting as they were. And thinking on it, it was actually quite fitting.

Shaking her head, she followed behind him to monitor his progress.

8

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*Note* Wallpaper paste is made out of food starches or wheat, especially in earlier times. It was even turned into soup during World War II by the American forces pinned in Bastogne during the Battle of The Bulge.

*Note* Vending machines in Japan sell alot, ALOT of different stuff. There is even a Dole banana vending machine at one of the train stations in Tokyo.

*Note* Kure means "sunset"