Tegan's POV

My mind slowly escaped from my slumber and some memories. I remember how I avoided my wallet in my bags, and I remember how Sara had been fuckin me and I feel a stupid smile on my face. 'Yeah, we made love last night, because I love her and she loves me. Oh my god she really loves me!'

I opened my eyes and searched for Sara, I wanted to tell her that how happy I am, but I'm alone in the hotel room. She probably went out to grab an espresso.

I checked the time on my cellphone: 8:54 am.

Fuck. I have six minutes to get onto the bus. I quickly jump out of the bed and get dressed as fast as I can. I smiles when I found Sara's bra under my bag, I'm impatient to give her back, just to see her beautiful shy smile and see her blush.

Seven minutes later I was ready to leave my empty hotel room and travel through the parking to the bus. I start walking through the door and meet big snowflakes dancing in the powerful wind. 'What the fuck? We're just in November!'

Head down, I walk towards the tour bus and notice the blurred silhouette of Sara learning on her right knee, tying her shoes. I can't resist to leave my bag on the ground and put my right arm around her shoulders. I whispered in her ear.

"Hey sweetheart, how's my lil'baby goes this morning?"

I wasn't expecting that Sara would push my arm away and look at me like a scared, wild animal before running into the tour bus without a word.

"Sara? SARA WAIT !" I quickly grab my bag and jump onto the bus. I watch her back for a second before she disappears in her bunk. I can feel my heart pound in my head and a wave of panic traveling through my body.

I run like crazy and I roughly open her bunk. She was facing the walls and don't move at my indelicate apparition. I don't know what to say. 'What's happening? What was that? What was the night before? Nothing?'

"S-Sara?" I was now crying and my voice was broken and faint."Sara, what's wrong?"

No response. I try again.

"Sara, what's wrong?" I gently put my right hand on her shoulder, needing to make a contact.

"Don't touch me" Her voice was cold and strong. I froze in fear. "STOP TOUCHING ME! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" She turns around and pushes me with her hands on my shoulders before she started kicking me in the stomach and on my thighs. "GO AWAY! DON'T EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!"

My brain doesn't work anymore. Something inside me broke. The only sound that I can hear is the thumping of my heart.

Everything around me is in slow motion, my blood rushing in my ears is covering all sounds except the deep tearing inside of me. I felt it swallow me, attacking me in the dark.

*14 minutes later*

I slowly open my eyes and look at the grey ceiling of my bunk for a long time. An eternity to figured out what was happening. An eternity of immobility. An eternity of pain. An eternity of confusion. An eternity of question. An eternity of tears.

An eternity of love for Sara and a moment of memories.

We're six and we're at the zoo with mom. It was just after the divorce and mom was trying to cheer us up. Sara was excited, running all around, laughing and screaming while I was trying to catch her. I remember how her big smile disappear when her ice cream slid out of her little hand to collapse on the grass. She started crying and mom was trying to calm her down. After five minutes at imploring Sara to stop crying so loud, disturbing all of the people around, our mom said to me to stay here with Sara for two minutes and run to a machine with food for animals. I was feeling bad with my own ice cream in my hand and I wanted to see my sister happy again so I hugged her and place my cup of ice cream at the level of her little lips. She looked at me for a second before hesitantly tasting it and smiling ear to ear with her eyes still red and puffed.

I roll onto my left side.

We were ten and a stupid boy named Brandon decided that burning Sara's favourite book at the dinner will be fun. Sara started crying in front of all of our classmates and they were laughing at her. I did nothing and when the bells rang I was feeling so guilty and angry that I pushed Brandon on the stairs. He broke his arm and Sara gave me a peck on my cheek to say thanks.

I slide my pillow from under my head to my chest.

We were sixteen and in the middle of a night, my blood was full of alcohol as I was dancing like crazy on the dance floor of a creepy rave somewhere in downtown. I can remember that someone had roughly pushed me. I woke up at the hospital with an incredible headache and Sara curled in ball in a chair next to my bed. Later the nurse said to me that I was lucky to have such a good sister who's ready to hold you in her arm and walk four blocks to the hospital with fourteen beers or so in their body.

I press my face against the pillow and open my mouth to scream. I scream because I know that the horrible sound earlier was my heart breaking. Five minutes later, I fell asleep.

Narrated

"Does someone know what happened last night?" Asked a worried Ted to the rest of the band who were nervously sitting in the back of the tour bus a few minutes after the fight.

"Nobody saw them and I have no clue what they have been doing the whole day. It seems pretty serious. I mean, Tegan was looking like she was...empty or some shit like that." Shaun says before letting a loud sigh.

"Maybe they just had a stupid fight. They're gonna be alright. I mean they're sisters! It's normal that they fight." Johnny was pathetically trying to keep the subtle panic inside. Everyone was feeling the storm coming and they just couldn't ignore it.