'What have you told her?' Julia repeated herself more loudly.
'Angel I haven't told Hattie anything' Jac defended her actions 'I'm just giving her the dose of reality you both need.'
'I think I should probably go' Hattie spoke awkwardly, getting to her feet.
'What's going on?' Jonny walked back into the garden drying his hands on a tea towel, a concerned frown across his face. He had come to know Julia so well since she'd joined their family unit he could tell just from her body language when she was upset.
'Despite all these years of mum telling me its my story to tell she's just gone and blurted out all the gory detail of my childhood inside a paedophile ring' a single tear ran down Juila's face as she spoke, showing her hurt at this betrayal.
'Julia your mum really didn't tell me anything' Hattie spoke softly, walking close to her so she could place her hand on her arm. 'I think I should go and give you guys some space' she gently kissed Julia's cheek. 'We'll talk later yeah?'
Julia closed her eyes and swallowed down a sob as Hattie walked away from her and into the house. She slowly opened her eyes and looked her mother before uttering 'why?'
'Because she needed to be told' Jac spoke matter of factually. 'I had my heart broken by idiots who couldn't handle the truth of what I went through, who failed to understand and to just hold me during the nightmares and tell me everything was going to be ok.'
'How'd you know that Hattie would be like that?' Julia sniffed.
'Why hadn't you told her?' Jac answered simply. 'If you trusted her you would have told her. Hoping that the longer you waited to tell her would make it easier for her to accept is a fools errand. It's better to know now before you get into deep.'
'You've ruined everything ' Julia let out a sob with her words.
'No I've stopped you from making the same mistakes I made' Jac spoke softly. 'Even with your Dad I found it hard to truly be open with him, to explain to him just what it was like to be trapped inside the memories in my own head. He could have left me at any point, our entire relationship has been based on the most rockiest of roads. Yet he fights for me, always has and always will. You need that, you'll need the same as me as you navigate through life. Its the only way its ever going to be good.'
'Harriet did care about me' Julia sniffed 'I told her about the self harming, I had to, she saw the scars. She said she wouldn't push me to tell her the rest, it was up to me. Now you've pushed and she's gone!' Julia broke down into sobs.
'Then unfortunately it looks like I was right doesn't it?' Jac longed to hold her daughter, to pull her close and tell her it would all hurt less by morning. She knew though that Julia would never let her, not when she was feeling like this. 'By all means hate me, its fine with me because I know what I've just saved you from.' At those final words Julia fled into the house, sobbing freely as she went.
'I know you did what you did with the best intentions' Jonny spoke angrily to his wife 'but did you have to do it quite like that and on the first meeting?'
'Its always me who's the bad one isn't it?' Jac scowled at her husband 'always me that has to say no, be pointing out the dangers and protect them from harm.'
'Och Jac, they're grown women with their own minds and hearts. They need to go out into this world and live it' Jonny tried to keep his voice level. 'Do you think I like the idea of our wee misses getting hurt out there? Because I don't but all I know is they have to go out there being independent from our molly codling so they have a chance of leading a normal life!'
'She's independent, intelligent and a god dam fighter Jonny but she's far too fragile to face rejection from people's narrow minded judgements based on her past' Jac spat out the words in anger but upon seeing the solitary tear rolling down her cheek Jonny knew how much she was hurting inside.
He went to her side and crouched down next to her chair, taking one her hands in his as he spoke 'She's angry now but she doesn't hate you. She could never hate you.'
...
'You know Auntie Jac only said what she did to Hattie because she cares about you' Ava tried to soothe her sister as they sat in her bedroom eating the pavlova.
'I know' Julia sigh. 'I guess what hurts is she's right. I just wish she had spoken to me about it and not Hattie.'
'How do we know Jac is right about Hattie though?' Markus mused. 'I mean Jac is right about people a lot of the time and look at my biological dad – a complete arse if ever there was one. But what if we haven't given Hattie enough of a chance?'
'Well she could have stayed' Ava shrugged .
'Would you have stayed to witness a family row?' Markus counter argued. 'None of us want to see Julia get hurt, there are unfortunately a lot of idiots out there. But mum found Guy and Jac found Jonny. They're always saying about how it wasn't always easy but they work at their relationships. Maybe all Hattie needs is fair hearing, a chance to know the truth and decide for herself if she can truly handle it. If she can't be bothered to try then she is an idiot and most certainly not worth Julia's time.'
'So what should I do? Call her?' Julia spoke slowly, considering Markus's words .
'Shouldn't this be the type of conversation you have in person?' Ava pondered.
'I don't know, I've never had this type of conversation before, its not something you go blurting out to everyone you meet' Julia sighed. 'You'd think one of the many therapists Auntie Jac sent me to would have discussed the correct social etiquette for this type of situation.'
'I don't think there is any right way' Markus spoke softly 'but I think it should be your way, you're the one who needs to be in control throughout this.'
...
Julia hesitated for a moment before pressing send. She'd written Hattie a long email along with links to the many news articles that had covered her story all those years ago. She knew she'd find it difficult to put into words exactly what happened to her throughout her childhood. She just hoped Hattie would still see her for who she is now, would still want to be with her and still love her. The first time Hattie had said that little four letter word Julia had asked her how she could be so sure, they'd only been dating a month. 'Because you are the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing before I fall asleep' Hattie had answered simply 'I just know how I feel.' That's when it hit Julia that it was what she was feeling too, the reason why she'd been off her food and unable to concentrate, was simply love.
Julia got up off her bed and walked across the hall to her parents room. 'Mum?' she spoke softly as she hesitated at the open doorway.
Jac looked up from her laptop at the sound of her daughters voice, relieved she had come to her.
'I get why you spoke to Hattie' Julia walked into the room and sat down on the end of the bed 'but I'm an adult now and I can make my own choices.'
'I just can't bear to see you get hurt' Jac shrugged.
'I know' Julia smiled softly 'but if I never take any chances then I'm not going to get very far in this life.'
'Well you know I'm always I'm going to be here, no matter what. Whether its picking up the pieces or celebrating with you, I want to share this life with you.'
'I know' Julia nodded 'and I'll always want you to be. You just need to let go a little.'
'You girls, and of course your father, are my entire world. I never thought I would get to have a family and I would do anything to protect it, to protect each and every one of you.' Jac reached out and smoothed Julia's long blonde hair, letting her hand rest on the young woman's pale cheek. 'I didn't adopt you because I thought I was this amazing mum who would always get everything right. I adopted you because I'd connected with you, I felt a love and a bond for you that I just couldn't explain. Even though I know both you and Ava are no longer children the way that I feel hasn't changed. So I'm sorry, I will mess up, I will make ridiculous decisions and embarrass you but you'll always be my girls and I will never stop fighting for the best for you.'
'I guess I'll just have to learn to live with that then' Julia laughed softly.
'I'm afraid so' Jac looked seriously at her daughter. 'I want you to have a good happy life, no one deserves that more than you.'
