A/N: Cheers to all that have reviewed. Three has always been my lucky number but I'm more than happy to settle on four ;)

Anyway, this one wasn't rushed but was published a bit late in the night (or early in the morning). I was too eager and very aware that I wouldn't have much time to spend as I'm moving tomorrow and start school on Monday! I've got the next three chapters written but they need brutal editing. So to my four reviewers, please be patience! I know my fanfiction is the reason you get up in the morning, but it's going to take some time.


Chapter 3 (They Say Sing For Your Supper, Sing For Your Pain)

Waking to the sound of birds chirping, Cuddy stretched in bed. She lied there for about half an hour before getting up and making coffee. Her day wasn't going to be spent doing much but enjoying the peace and quite. She designated times to check her phone, but the hours and minutes leading up to those scheduled times were empty. Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital was still hers and she wasn't going to leave it for dead, no matter how tempting the idea. Giving Wilson and her assistant the number for the house line to call if anything was positively serious, she directed them, and anyone else wishing to contact her, to leave a message on her cell-phone.

Taking her time with a morning routine she could never abandon, no matter what the circumstances, Cuddy's mind drifted to House. She found it odd that the smell of coffee reminded her of him. It must have been the particular brand, but nonetheless, she was thinking of him.

Tightening her grip on the mug, Cuddy closed her eyes and let the memory of her and House kissing envelope her.

The way he looked at her, the shift in his gaze. How soft and dare she assume, sorry, he looked. Just as hers were, his defenses were gone from him. There was nothing but truth and regret hanging between them and it was quickly dissolved when he took a small step towards her and put his lips against hers. Instinctively she put her hands on either sides of his face, but gradually they drew closer and her arms found their way to his back, pulling him nearer.

Time stood still; in that moment he was still the man she employed, but he was also a man she'd known and revered for ages. To think he was capable of such passion was something she had never really considered.

The first time they had been together had been careless and frenzied, it held very little meaning and was never verbally mentioned again. When he would stare at her in such a way she could swear his mind was picturing her naked, an image he didn't have to make up. He would taunt her with sly innuendos and sexual comments, reminding her that this wasn't the first time she'd been "on top".

But when they had kissed, he had almost become a different person. A switch had been made and he was gentle and thoughtful. Soon after he had walked out the door as easily he had come and left her lips swollen and her mind buzzing. She wasn't left thinking of 20 some odd years ago when they had a meaningless one night stand, but how natural if felt to have him there.

She knew him long enough to know he didn't visit her that night to kiss her; he wasn't the romantic type. He knew she was upset and he was going to do something about it, try to console her in a less physical way, try to force logic on her that not all hope was lost and she could try again. He was going to be the friend he often wasn't but knew he should be and try to be there for her, the way she had been for him countless times. But the winds had changed and he must not have expected to see her in such a state or else he wouldn't have looked so shocked when she approached him, anger coursing through her veins. Nevertheless, she was glad things ended the way they did. Looking back on their history she deducted that it was only natural they take this course. Where the road led though, she didn't know.

She opened her eyes to a view she knew he would appreciate, mountains spread from left to right, covered in greenery and random spots of white at the peaks. The clouds were few and far between but gave the sight before her a sense of definition and calm. She knew he wasn't one for nature but she also knew he appreciated a good sight when he saw one. His talents, intelligence and personality ran deep and it excited her to think that he might let her into that small space of his and allow her to see him for who he really was.

Finished with her breakfast and back dated edition of The Times, Cuddy decided to take a bath, something she rarely had time for during her busy workweek.

She relaxed in the tub and imagined House in there with her, his leg unscarred and his demeanor relaxed and tranquil. The bubbles would dance between them and his smile from the opposite side of the tub would elicit a small spark inside of her.

What am I thinking? Cuddy asked herself, falling back to reality.

She'd always been told that the line between love and hate was a thin one, but Cuddy knew House thought different. She loved the idea of him being easy going, relaxed and sweet with her, but in reality she didn't know if that side existed. She's been given a small glimpse but wasn't certain on how deep the well went. The down side to leaving so quickly was that she didn't get the chance to ask him what it all meant. She could be logical, try to understand what he was thinking, but in reality, no one ever knows what he's thinking. He was a pessimist, a realist if he wanted to be precise. Arrogant and giant pain in the ass were words she frequently used when describing him. And as nice of an idea as being with him was, she wasn't sure he would want to be with her

Out of the bath and tired of the ping-pong game that had begun in her mind concerning

House, Cuddy stared into the bathroom mirror and unwillingly, began to dwell on Joy and her disastrous efforts to have a child.

If permitted, Cuddy would go to jail with only boys to prove she was as tough as them, be released on good behavior and go back to playing baseball and scraping her knees without a tear shed. But years later, jail time and skinned knees behind her, she was left vulnerable at her failed attempts to find happiness. She sacrificed so much for her success and was being punished for slapping away the hands that offered her a chance at that happiness in the past.

Sighing at her reflection she spoke to herself, "Self pity doesn't suit you."

This time away from home was for her to think of what she'd become and what she was going to do now.

She'd tried to find a boyfriend, potential husbands and a white picket fence, but she grew tired of the losers and boys unable to deal with her success (and on a rare occasion, House). Next was IVF. A fallback for couples unable to conceive on their own. Sperm donors and boosted hormones proved useless and she failed… again. Adoption was always something she considered, but never gave much thought to- she knew no one would willingly give a child to a single, workaholic mother. It made her sad to know she was right.

Three strikes and she was out. Out of what exactly, she didn't know. But she'd been playing and winning games for far too long. The universe kept itself balanced by denying her a child and a family; the toll an extremely successful medical career.

A re-evaluation and for the time away, she was glad for.

Deciding to take a ride on her niece's horse, Cuddy eventually got dressed and strapped on a pair of her sisters riding boots. An experienced rider, she was excited to get back on a horse. With the hours at the hospital and lack of free time, she rarely got to do it anymore.

Just as she was about to head to the stables, Cuddy heard the persistent ring of the phone from inside the house.

Hesitant to answer, she went against her better judgment and ran to answer the telephone.

"Hello?"

"Cuddy? Hi, it's, it's James." Wilson identified himself on the other end of the line.

"Wilson, hi. Is everything…"

"Everything's fine," Wilson interrupted, feeling guilty for disturbing her when she specifically asked for no disturbances.

"Okay…" Lisa said when the line went silent.

"House," Wilson started but hitched, "House told me what happened. I'm just calling to make sure you're alright."

Smiling into the phone Cuddy relaxed, "I'm fine, thank-you."

He waited for her to continue but when she didn't he took that as a sign to go on, "Well, if you need to talk to know where to find me."

Appreciating Wilson's concern, Cuddy's smile stuck, "I know. Thank-you. I'm sure you got the low down from House so I don't need to tell you anything." Cuddy rolled her eyes; she could swear those two were gossiping girls in a previous lifetime. "I was upset, he was there, I shouted and we, we kissed."

Wilson held back a chuckle and smiled into the phone, these two were made for each other, "That's what he said."

Holding back a sigh, she readjusted her stance and shook herself from romantic memories of House.

She knew she could trust James impeccably but she wasn't in a state to gush out her feelings and expect him to console her. She took this time off for a reason and she was going to spend it wisely.

On the other end Wilson tugged at a piece of thread loose from his lab coat, "Okay. Call me if you need anything."

"I will."

A click registered the lines disconnecting and Cuddy quickly went back about her day before consumed with thoughts and feelings concerning House.


A/N: the above comment about this fanfiction being the reason you get up in the morning wasn't meant to be taken literally. Re-LAX and re-VIEW. Please.