I was edgy and restless in school the next day, my head filled with images of frantically squeaking green mice dissolving into goo like Danni once had. The three ghosts who attacked found their opponent distracted and slow, which made me easier to injure and allowed them more time to wreak havoc. There were four pop quizzes, too, which restored Tucker's belief in the natural order of the universe ("I knew they wouldn't just slack off homework like that!") but did not help my grades. I had the sinking feeling that three were Ds and the fourth a C.
We called Jazz at lunchtime, sneaking out onto the roof so no one would overhear us. She contributed a much more disturbing idea than our mouse hypothesis.
"If it were only some kind of animal, they wouldn't have kept quiet. Yes, Sam, I know that animal testing is bad, but it's not something you hide away from society, and it's certainly not something that would make Dad stop eating."
"But if it's not an animal, then-"
"Exactly." Jazz's voice was hard, grim. "I think they experimented on themselves."
We were silent for a few moments. Then Tucker asked, "Uh, why do you say that? I mean, how do you know that they didn't find someone else?"
"Because that's not how they function. Mom and Dad are horrible to ghosts, but that's only because they don't see ghosts as human. They view the world in black and white, evil and good, ghosts and humans. They would never take someone off the streets and deliberately diminish his or her humanity. Think of their self-images: valiant, selfless crusaders against the foul forces of darkness." She was beginning to sound sarcastic. "They believe themselves capable and worthy of making great sacrifices for that crusade. That means they tried it on themselves."
"So why are they so secretive?" I wondered. "They like showing off their sacrifices." I thought of something else. "Maybe they tried to humanize a ghost?"
"No. First, if they'd actually captured a ghost they'd have flaunted it. They'd have used it to prove that ghosts existed, and then the government would have come in and confiscated it or the media would have paid so much attention that they couldn't have gotten any experiments done, much less one so obviously secret. It would have been impossible. Second, even if they did somehow capture a ghost, they wouldn't be ashamed of trying to humanize it. Third, they're not very good ghost hunters. Even the Box Ghost usually escapes from them. Danny is the only ghost they manage to hit on a regular basis. Fourth, they reacted to 'giving a human ghost powers,' not anything else, which strongly implies that that's exactly what they did." She paused for breath. "So they had to have started out with something alive, presumably themselves."
The three of us were nodding. "That's really smart, Jazz," I complimented slowly, "but… something about it seems off. I just… I don't think they would have experimented on each other. I'm not being logical, because what you're saying makes sense, it's just that it doesn't feel right."
Tucker shrugged. "We won't know until we've read their files," he pointed out.
"Good point," acknowledged Jazz. "E-mail me maybe a year's worth of files. It'll go faster that way."
"Will do," my techno-geek friend promised. "Bye."
"Bye, you three. Good luck."
School ends at three thirty on the dot. I got detention (thank you, Desiree), so I got out at four thirty on the dot.
Distraction time.
Tucker, PDA in hand, laptop on his back, was waiting in the side alley. I grinned at him, shifted into ghost form, quickly assessing the mental shields that kept my ghost powers from showing up on radar (it was a trick I'd picked up from Clockwork. Shields were different for every ghost- I hid my ghostliness in my humanity; he pushed his signature a single millisecond into the future). They were fine. Smiling cheerily, I walked up to the front door.
Ding dong!
Fortunately, it was Jack who answered the door. His jaw sagged. I grinned, unable to help myself.
"Boo."
"GHOOOOOOST!" The hunter's scream of horror echoed for no less than five city blocks, terrifying innocent pigeons and causing dogs to bark wildly. He grabbed a ginormous ecto-cannon from somewhere- I didn't want to know where- and fired.
I jumped into the air, singing, "Can't catch me!" Then, to add insult to insult, I stuck out my tongue.
Jack was incensed. "MADDIE! START UP THE GAV!"
I laughed. "Bye!"
The Fenton Family Ghost Assault Vehicle (commonly known as the GAV or RV) shot through the garage door and down the driveway, stopping only so Jack could leap in. Then they were off.
I looked back only once, and saw Tucker calmly walking up to the open door.
"Got everything?"
"Is Klemper annoying?"
"Good."
"I haven't looked through everything, but I think some of these records go back to their college days. Hopefully we won't have to look through those- if they did this in college, Vlad was involved somehow. I figure we'll start maybe a year before Jazz was born and work our way forward." He paused. "But we can stop when they start working on the Fenton Portal."
"Good plan," I agreed. "How about you send Jazz the first year we're interested in. Sam can take the next few months…. You're fastest, you can take a year and a half…. And I'll get started on whatever comes next."
"You should take the lightest load," Tuck disagreed. "After all, you're the main ghost hunter." He frowned. "You think Danni-with-an-i could help?"
I hid a grin. Perhaps my matchmaking wasn't a total failure. "Maybe," I said, deliberately casual. "Why don't you call her and find out?"
He gave me an odd look- maybe I'd been too casual- but dug out his cell phone and speed-dialed my twin. Their conversation went something like this: Tuck explained what happened, Danni commented on how weird it was, Tuck agreed, Danni said that she'd love to help but the Infi-map, which she was using to monitor naturally occurring portals, predicted ten in the next three days and by the time she had time, we'd probably be done. She then ordered us to keep her posted, he made a teasing comment about "Are you sure you'll have the time?" they exchanged goodbyes and hung up.
"Did you hear everything?" he asked.
I nodded. Halfas have enhanced senses, which makes school lunches even worse than they were before. Other than that, though, they're great- the senses, not the lunch. "How long d'you think I should take?"
Tucker shrugged. "Three months, maybe. Hey, I just thought of something. You or Sam will be reading about what happened when you were born! Wanna bet there's tons of embarrassing baby stories in their records?"
"No, I don't want to bet. We both know there will be." I wasn't that scared of baby stories, at least not with my friends. They'd seen me in way more mortifying situations over the years.
My techno-geek friend dug out his laptop and began copying and sending the relevant files. "Some of these are pretty encrypted," he commented. "I think that Jazz can crack most of them, but you and Sam are hopeless with tech. If you notice any firewalls or extra security, send the files to me and I'll get you in. I'm just amazing like that."
"Yeah. That's one word for it."
"Shut up, Danny."
It turned out that I didn't get any reading done that day. Skulker showed up as I was flying home, then Valerie interrupted our fight to try and eliminate me. She has anger management issues. Anyways, she chased me around town for about an hour before I managed to ditch her. Then, when I had almost gotten home, the Box Ghost showed up and told me that he and the Lunch Lady were going out for a romantic dinner that night and I had to watch their kid. He was gone before I could say no.
So I ran (now in human form, duh) into my room, grabbed my homework-filled backpack, and shouted something about a study session at Sam's house. She would cover for me.
Boxy and his bride were waiting impatiently. They reminded me that emergency numbers were on the fridge and to have little Box Lunch in bed by nine (unlike fully grown ghosts, babies have a don't hibernate. They have a human sleep schedule). Then they were gone.
"Wait!" I shouted after them. "You didn't say when you'll be back!"
No answer, the jerks. I silently vowed to demand a raise- not that they paid me in the first place.
Confession time: I actually kind of like my goddaughter. Despite her shameful parentage, she's a pretty cute kid, except for that one time she puked all over my shirt. Contrary to what her mother claims, that was not cute at all.
I set her in a little bouncy chair and started on homework: two worksheets, a couple math problems, and a chapter for English class. Fortunately, Box Lunch loves that bouncy chair. She stayed in it for almost an hour, by which time I was almost done with everything. Contrary to popular belief, homework doesn't take too much of my day. It's just that between the ghost attacks and everything else, I rarely have time to just sit down and get it done.
We played for a while after that, simple things like peek-a-boo or patty-cake. Soon it was time to sleep, so I read her a little story from one of those cardboard books and tucked her into bed.
By nine-thirty, my homework was all done and I'd actually read ahead for English class. Box Lunch was sleeping soundly. I considered watching TV, but since that might wake her up. Bored, I ruffled through my backpack.
Jackpot!
It was Reign of King: A Comprehensive Chronicle of Pariah Dark. At least, that was the translation. The entire thing was Esperanto.
Some would call my interest in the locked-up ghost king morbid. The dude had a soul-eating hippo monster as his pet and laid waste to half the Ghost Zone. Well, I have every right to be morbid. I'm half ghost with a Gothic girlfriend. If I didn't have at least a tiny morbid streak, Jazz would be very worried about me. Besides, history is one of my favorite subjects.
I was on the fourth chapter, which chronicled Pariah's early years on the throne. This was where things got interesting. The first chapter had just been an overview of what the Ghost Zone was like back then. The second was mainly speculation about Pariah's mysterious childhood. The third told how he'd ascended the throne.
The King of All Ghosts is so renowned for his insatiable appetite for conquest and cruelty that very few individuals, even historians, remember that he was once a wise and just monarch. Immediately following his coronation, the young ruler created a legal code of surprising sophistication.
It went on to describe aspects of the First Law, which included things like gender equality, good treatment for thralls, and even a rudimentary insurance system. I was floored. Other books had mentioned the Golden Age, but they'd never mentioned just how "golden" it really was. I'd always assumed that golden was a relative term, a way of contrasting it with the reign of terror that everyone focused on.
This book described it in exquisite detail for five entire chapters: reformation of criminals, prosperity, free trade with parts of the human world, even benign uses for the hippo monster, all watched over by someone who actually cared about his people. Pariah formed an almost democratic system, believing that a people who did not rule themselves would never be content. It was hard to believe that this was the same terrible, embittered monster who once attacked Amity Park.
I was gawking at a picture of the young Pariah, marveling at how different he looked, when my cell phone rang.
Stupid thing nearly gave me heart failure.
Silently cursing the horrendous timing, I fumbled around my pockets until I found the beeping device. It was from FentonWorks.
"Hey, Mom."
Maddie cut straight to the point. "Where are you?"
I vaguely remembered lying about Sam's house, so I said, "After Sam and I were done studying, I went over to Tucker's place for help in another class. Where should I be?"
She sighed. "Danny, do you have any idea what time it is?"
"Uh…" I looked at the kitchen clock and was stunned to realize that it was almost midnight. "Whoa, that late already? Sorry, Mom, I'll get home ASAP."
"No, just stay with the Foleys. I don't want you getting attacked by ghosts on the way home."
"Hey, Tucker," I said, feeling slightly stupid for addressing an empty room, "d'you mind if I crash here for the night? Thanks." I turned back to the phone. "Tuck says it's fine."
"Wake up early so you can stop home before school tomorrow. Good night." She hung up.
I had to check on the baby before turning back to the face on the page. I bit my lip, hesitated. Then I said, very quietly, even though Box Lunch was the only one in the house and she couldn't understand me even if she was awake, "For me it was a test. The C.A.T. I cheated, my family died, and then I snapped.
"What was it for you?"
