Disclaimer: I own nothing.
On with the fic!
...Are you kidding, Pit? A mockingbird? XD
I'm dead serious, Takashi. I almost cried at the irony of the whole thing. I would have, too, if Luigi wasn't my teacher. As much as it pains me to say it, it's really funny to watch him jump every time the bird so much as bat a wing at him.
Takashi stifled his chuckle as he read the note. They were in their Math class, and things were boring, as usual. Wolf was droning up a storm about quadratic equations and the two friends were bored. And what do high school students usually do when they're bored?
...If you say anything other than passing notes, you're sadder than Olimar in a room full of birds. And the sight of that, my friends, is sad. Amusing in a schadenfreudic way, but sad nonetheless.
As Takashi was about to scribble back a reply, the printer mysteriously came on.
The class watched in silence as the printer started printing out of nowhere. When the printing stopped, Wolf took the paper and read it. He was less than amused. Pit, deciding to bite the bullet, got out of his desk and read over Wolf's shoulder. Wolf glaced at the young junior as he read the contents of the paper.
"Anything you find funny, Icarus?" Wolf growled. Pit sweatdropped.
"Um, no sir. I was just curious, that's all," he said, dashing back to his seat. About ten seconds later, he started to laugh.
"What's it say?" Ness asked the angel.
"It said, 'The men in the white coats are coming to get you'," Pit chuckled. About half of the entire class started to laugh, and even the other half had amused smiles on their faces.
Wolf sighed. This was going to be a long fourty minutes...
Two minutes later...
Bzzzzzt.
AlL yOuR bAsE aRe BeLoNg To Us.
Wolf's eye twitched ever so slightly, while the class laughed again.
Bzzzzzt.
A picture of Sae from Fatal Frame 2, grinning her insane grin. A caption below said, "Take a picture, it'll last longer."
"...WTF?"
Bzzzzzt.
WARNING! YOUR COMPUTER WILL SELF-DESTRUCT FROM LACK OF USE!
Another twitch from Wolf.
Bzzzzzt.
WHO'S THAT POKEMON? (There was a shadowed picture of Wolf)
All I can say about this one is that it made Takashi's day. Even more twitches from Wolf.
Bzzzzzt.
"AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
SMASH BLAM BAM ZING!
The class watched in stunned silence as Wolf destroyed - no, - annihilated the printer. Sadly (Or happily, depends on your point of view), the paper that was printed out at the time of this printer's untimely demise survived. Pit quickly snatched it before Wolf could see it.
"What is it this time?" Takashi whispered.
Pit showed him the paper. It said:
PRINTER FAIRY'S SCAVENGER HUNT!
Bring at least five of these items to the main office to obtain a super special prize!
The Ocarina of Time
A Mudkip
Falco's bread
The Star Rod
A Keyblade
Ganondorf's 'secret notebook'
A towel
The Holy Grail
A bottle of water
Pit and Takashi gave each other "WTF" looks.
"What's a 'Keyblade'?" Pit asked. Takashi shrugged.
"Your guess is as good as mine," he replied when a hand snatched the paper from Pit's grasp. The students watched in fear as Wolf scanned the sheet. More twitches came from Wolf.
"So that's the way you want it..." he growled. "Okay, I'll make this breif; Since I'm going to be in enough trouble for the printer, a group of you will find five of these objects to the school. If they don't bring the items back by tomorrow, they will fail for the marking period. And that group will be...Icarus, Fujiwara, Greene, and Onett."
"Why me?!" Ness exclaimed, nearly falling out of his chair. "Takashi, Link, and Pit I can kind of understand, but why me?"
Wolf ignored Ness and went back to work.
"Okay, so how should we do this?" Link asked, as he, Takashi, Ness, and Pit looked through the list.
"...What's a 'Keyblade'?" Ness asked. The other three boys shrugged as Link crossed that item out, along with the Ocarina of Time, the Star Rod, and the Holy Grail.
"Okay, there's four of us, and five items to catch. Anyone want to do a particular one?" LInk asked.
"I can bring the Mudkip. My mom gave me one for Christmas last year," Takashi piped in. Link nodded as he put Takashi's name next to the Mudkip.
"I'll bring in the towel and the bottle of water," Ness said. Link nodded again.
"I'll see if I can snatch Ganondorf's notebook," Pit instantly said, realizing what was going on. Link nodded as he put Pit's name next to the notebook. He blinked, looking over the list, which looked something like this...
PRINTER FAIRY'S SCAVENGER HUNT!
Bring at least five of these items to the main office to obtain a super special prize!
The Ocarina of Time
A Mudkip - Takashi
Falco's bread
The Star Rod
A Keyblade
Ganondorf's 'secret notebook' - Pit
A towel - Ness
The Holy Grail
A bottle of water - Ness
Link gulped, realizing what he had to do.
"Oh, God...Falco's bread..." he said, fear lacing his voice.
You should understand something here; Bread is to Falco like heroin is to a junkie. Well, not as extreme, but you get the idea; You touch the bread, Falco will kick your ass to next Tuesday.
Calm down, Greene, Link thought to himself. All you gotta do is swipe the bread, collect the prize and give it back to him. He'll never notice!
...I hope.
The next morning, Pit held Ganondorf's prized notebook in his arms. How did he manage this? Well...Let's just say that he swiped it from the eeevil teacher...with his permission.
I swear that asshole has something to do with it, Pit thought, thinking things over as he walked into the main office.
"Hi, Pit," Takashi said, holding a small Mudkip in his arms. Pit sat next to Takashi and petted the Mudkip, who sighed in contentment.
"Morning, Takashi," he replied as Ness came in, blue towel and a bottle of Poland Spring in hand. He was soon followed by Link, who was very discreet about his item. He held it in a paper bag, a plastic bag, and even wrapped the thing up.
"How'd your mission go, Link?" Pit asked. Link twitched as he sat next to Pit.
"Not fun. He almost caught me," Link replied, when another someone came from behind them. Link jumped.
"I'M SORRY! I WON'T DO IT AGAIN, JUST DON'T KICK MY ASS TO NEXT TUESDAY, I BEG OF YOU!!" He exclaimed, thinking it was Falco.
"Uhm...Link? That's Crazy Hand, not Falco," Pit said, snickering. Link turned around to see the crazy VP. He scowled.
"It's you. What is it now? You wouldn't happen to be the Printer Fairy, would you?" he said sarcastically.
"Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh! Whatdja get?" the hyper hand asked. Each student sweatdropped as they showed Crazy Hand their items.
"Okay...seeing as you got five of the items in my awesomely awesome scavenger hunt, I give you...CANDY!!" Crazy Hand exclaimed as bags of candy fell on the four students.
"Candy?! We did all this for a bunch of..." Ness started.
"HEY! THAT'S MY BREAD, ASSHOLE!"
Link paled when he saw a very pissed off Falco. Grabbing his bag of candy, he ran at breakneck speed. Falco chased the poor guy all around the school until...
"OH NO! A DEAD END! Uhm...Hi, Falco. Sorry I took your bread, funny thing about that...wait...what are you going to do with that?! NO, NOT THAT! PLEASE! HAVE MERCY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
A week later...
Takashi and Pit got out of Math class. Link was missing in school for about a week now.
"Where do you think Link went...?" Takashi asked when he heard a faint scream. He looked up to see a blur of green. Soon Takashi was flattened by the weight of the green blur, which turned out to be...a very badly beaten up Link.
"What happened to you?" Pit asked as Takashi gained swirly eyes as a result of the collision. Link glared at the angel.
"What do you think? Falco kicked my ass to next Tuesday, you idiot!"
Omake - The Birth of a Fear
"Calm down, Olimar...You've been through harrowing conditions in a distant planet, for chrissakes! Plus, this is a PG movie! There's no reason to be fearing one scene..."
"Mine."
"OHMYGAWD! SOMEONE HELP MEEEEE!"
Olimar hid under his blanket, shivering. That was the last time he would watch something with birds - even one as supposedly non-scary as this movie was - ...ever.
...I really think that whole thing coulda been better. First one who can correctly guess what movie Olimar was watching gets...uhm...something. I can't think of anything right now. Guessing it should be easy...I threw in two hints in that omake.
What'd you think? Please review!
