Chapter three

Ritsuka thought that he had fallen asleep, when he was dumped on something soft. He opened his eyes, fully sane again and looked up at Kio, who had been carrying him. He felt better and his head felt a lot clearer than it had before. He could think now.

"You alright?" Kio was staring down at him with concerned eyes, something that Ritsuka wasn't understanding. He wasn't the one Kio should be focusing it. He should be thinking of Soubi, and not Ritsuka's well being. Ritsuka was alive where there was a very high possibility that Soubi wouldn't be for much longer. Even though he was brain-dead, he wasn't completely dead yet. He was still in critical condition, since he was being isolated.

Ritsuka nodded. "I have to see him. Where are we?" He glanced around, not finding himself familiar with the comfortable room. It was small, with the comfortable couch that he was laying on, a television mounted on the wall, and a large double bed in the corner. It only had two doors- one to a bathroom and one that Kio had carried him through. It looked more like a living space than anything. Had Ritsuka fallen asleep and Kio had taken him back to his apartment?

"This is one of the guest rooms they have here. I checked it out because it's extremely close to the intensive care unit," Kio explained carefully. He offered his hand for Ritsuka to take, smiling slightly at him, "Come on. I'll take you to go see him, but I'm not leaving your side this time."

This time, Ritsuka held onto his arm in case he had another breakdown. The scene he had caused had been humiliating. Ritsuka was usually told that he was very mature and calm, but what he had done had proven that wrong. He had had a panic attack and he wasn't able to hold down his emotions. It made him unstable and balancing between sanity and insanity. He hated it. How could Soubi have so much of an effect on him? He hadn't even acted like this when Seimei had been 'dead'.

"No, Kio," Ritsuka pulled back right before they had gone out the door. "I'm really sorry I acted like that, but I can't go out and face those people. They'll all be staring at me." Ritsuka hated attention. Well, that wasn't right. He liked it when Soubi paid attention to him. That kind of attention was nice, but Ritsuka hated being singled out in a crowd. It made him nervous to have all eyes on him, as if everybody was just waiting for him to do something wrong. That was what it was going to be like if he went out into that hallway again. Everybody would be whispering and staring and expecting him to freak out again.

How he had gotten away with attacking a woman, he didn't know. They all probably thought he was some sort of escaped mental patient. Maybe he really did belong in the mental ward because of his strong reaction to Soubi's condition. It wasn't normal; it couldn't be. Ritsuka had never heard stories of anybody having such a huge panic attack as he did.

"It's okay. There's another way. And Ritsuka," Kio was looking at him with such understanding, that Ritsuka believed him. "I know that you really cared about him. What you did back there…it was completely normal for someone who lost someone very important. That woman shouldn't have said what she did, anyways. I'm not going to scold you because I know that you wouldn't have done it normally." Kio paused, not moving or saying anything for a minute. Finally, he said in a soft voice, "He loved you, you know."

Ritsuka gripped his arm, feeling his legs weaken again. The tears were welling up in his eyes, but he didn't let them fall. "I know," He whispered back. "And…I think what I feel for him may be love…I'm not sure, so I never said it. I wish I had, though…"

As Kio led Ritsuka by the arm down multiple hallways to the second entrance to the intensive care unit, Ritsuka mulled over what he had just confessed. He didn't know what love was. He thought he loved his mother, but she beat him every single day. He loved Seimei, but he was mad at him for betraying him and hurting Soubi. Ritsuka was still learning this concept of love. Soubi told him he loved him, but not as frequently as he had before. The times that he did say it, it was special and he sounded like he meant it.

Soubi loved Ritsuka, but Ritsuka didn't quite understand his feelings for the older man. He adored him, but that seemed like too simple and childish of a word. Ritsuka didn't like to see him depressed, he loved to spend time with him, and they had a physical closeness that didn't go as far as sex and was very comfortable; was there even a word to describe what Soubi was to him.

In some ways, Soubi was like a parent to him, but that wasn't all of their relationship. He did help Ritsuka with his homework, pick him up from school, and often times put him to bed. That wasn't all of it, though. Soubi did things in addition to those that made him much more of a boyfriend or lover. He would flirt with Ritsuka while he helped the child with his homework and steal kisses from him while doing so. When he picked him up from school, he would hug him closely, more intimate than a friend would hug another friend. When putting him to bed, Ritsuka would ask for Soubi to sleep with him, since he had a lot of nightmares, or sometimes all he had to do was pull Soubi's sleeve to get him to come to bed with him.

Then there were the things Soubi did that Ritsuka couldn't even categorize, things that made them closer than an average couple. These were the things like when Soubi had stayed up with him all night just to keep a particularly bad nightmare away, or when he cared for Ritsuka when he had the flu, even when the teen started throwing up all over himself and wetting the bed. Soubi had stayed with him through all that, even taking it upon himself to change the sheets and make sure nobody knew before he washed them.

Sometimes Ritsuka didn't feel like he was pulling his own weight in the relationship. Soubi seemed happy, though, with just Ritsuka coming over almost every afternoon and spending some time with him before going home to his abusive mother. He didn't know why it made Soubi so happy; it was something so simple and natural. One person was supposed to care for another. Soubi cared for Ritsuka and Ritsuka cared for Soubi. It was a belief held inside almost every living person. It was almost as if Soubi had never experienced someone else being kind and gentle with him, as Ritsuka tried his hardest to be.

Kio nudged Ritsuka, bringing him back to the real world, the world where Soubi was somewhere in a hospital destined to never move again. A pang pulled at Ritsuka's heart. He felt empty inside, without any real hope. Soubi was brain-dead. Why would the doctors lie? Maybe he was moving from the 'disbelief' stage to the 'acceptance' stage. Or, more likely, to the 'bargaining' or 'regret' stages.

"This is the second entrance to the ICU," Kio informed Ritsuka. He glanced around, noting the much quieter, calmer surroundings. There was a nurse's station nearby, but only a short, young nurse was behind it. She glanced up, and glanced back down, not showing any signs of having heard about Ritsuka's breakdown.

"Miss!" Kio waved her over. She took one last look at her paperwork and then made her way over. Ritsuka noted that he had simply assumed she was a doctor; she was actually a very important doctor. Her name tag told Ritsuka she was the head immunologist who worked in the ICU.

Kio quickly explained to her that their friend was in the intensive care unit, and that they needed to see him. The woman nodded when she was told that it was Soubi, and unlocked the large, metal door, leading them down a long hallway. They past nurses with masks on, tiny crying babies, and multiple isolation chambers that were so high-risk that people had to wear suits that looked like they belonged to an astronaut just to go inside.

At last, they arrived at Soubi's room and the doctor left them, saying she had to go deliver a baby. Ritsuka simply stood at the door, emotions swirling inside of him, rising up until he felt like he was going to throw up from it. The distinct hospital smell, that scent of antiseptic, disinfectant, and urine didn't help much, either. He was starting to hate hospitals as much as Soubi did. Or had.

Kio gently put a hand on Ritsuka's shoulder, and the boy suddenly appreciated his company. He wouldn't be able to do this alone. Wordlessly, Ritsuka opened the door, not knowing what to expect, and slipped inside, Kio closing the door as he followed suit. He took a seat silently on the plastic chair on the far wall and Ritsuka glanced at him before quietly padding over to the hospital bed. He stood beside it, taking in the form that lay sleeping in it, his eyes filling with un-fallen tears again.

Soubi still looked like Soubi. Ritsuka could almost imagine that the man was just sleeping. Most of the blood had been cleaned off of him, though there were still spots of the crimson liquid that matted his blonde hair. He had a large, deep gash running from just above his left eye down to his right cheek, but it looked to be healing extremely fast. There was a bandage wrapped around his head, and many more on his exposed arms. Ritsuka noticed that the doctors had given him a hospital gown to wear, instead of his normal clothes.

It pained Ritsuka to see him like this. Soubi had always had pale skin, but it had never been like this. He seemed unhealthily white, like a ghost. It scared Ritsuka. He could distantly hear the heart rate monitor's constant, steady beeping, but he had to place his hand over Soubi's heart just to make sure. He felt it, a quiet rhythm that the child had memorized through nights of having his head in that spot, taking comfort in his heartbeat as Soubi held him.

The hand on Soubi's chest drifted downwards until he was grasping Soubi's hand in his own, feeling his soft, abused skin and the familiar warmth of his palm.

"Wake up, Soubi, please," He begged softly, hanging his head as he held his hand. There was a sudden jump in the heart rate beeping and Ritsuka's head shot up to see Soubi's eyes flutter open. Ritsuka's hopes soared, his heart skipping a beat.

"Ritsuka, no," Kio had been silent up until that point, and his voice was weak and broken. "Blinking, eye movement, waking up, Ritsuka, it doesn't mean anything. It's all natural. There's nobody in there."

Ritsuka's feelings fell again. It was stupid to have thought that someone could wake up from being brain-dead. The entire concept was impossible. Then again…this was all probably caused by a spell, and anything could happen with a spell, even if it was beyond reasonable.

Ritsuka gave Soubi's hand a squeeze and then released it. He couldn't take this. It was too much for him to handle right now. He just wanted to go back to the room Kio had gotten and curl up on the couch and sleep for a thousand years. He rose, glancing at Kio. The expression on his face must have given him away, since the man headed towards him, pulling him into a tight, comforting hug. That was what Ritsuka really wanted, someone to hug him and tell him that it was okay, but the person Ritsuka wanted to do it was Soubi.

They started to head out after a long few moments, and Ritsuka looked back for one last glance at Soubi when he noticed something very strange. Ritsuka stopped, pulling at Kio's arm.

"What is it?"

"He's watching us," Ritsuka stated, unsure of how else to put it. The Fighter's eyes, or more correctly, eye, seemed to be watching them and following their movements. It was only his right eye, though. The left was cloudy and Ritsuka was almost positive that Soubi was now blind in that eye.

"Ritsuka…"

"No, watch," Ritsuka walked across the room, keeping his gaze on Soubi. He watched Ritsuka, his right eye following his movements until Ritsuka was out of his peripheral view. It was odd, but it made Ritsuka think of something he'd read about in a magazine. He couldn't quite remember what it was, but it was some kind of a rare condition where it was misdiagnosed as brain-death almost all the time.

"That's odd…" Kio looked from Ritsuka to Soubi as Ritsuka walked back across the room. Ritsuka met Soubi's eyes, and the man blinked at him. Ritsuka could've sworn he saw Soubi trying to smile.

Ritsuka rushed to his side, filled again with hope that he wished wasn't fake. He tried to remember what he had read in the magazine. There had been something about a blinking test, though what it was escaped him.

"Soubi, blink four times if you can hear me." Once could be a simple blink, twice could be a fluke, three times could be a coincidence, but four times would be definite. Four was the magic number. Four could bring Soubi back to Ritsuka, although doctors claimed it never be possible.

And without hesitation, Soubi blinked. Four times.

Forgetting to be careful of his IV, Ritsuka threw his arms around Soubi happily, not believing his luck. He heard Kio gasp, hesitate, and then yell for a doctor. Soubi wasn't gone, he was still here. He hadn't been taken from Ritsuka.

Ritsuka almost felt like he was going into shock again. It had been a long night, one that felt like a thousand years to him. In less than one day, Ritsuka had lost Soubi and gotten him back. How? He didn't know and didn't care at the moment. It probably had some kind of bizarre science behind it that Ritsuka wouldn't understand. Nothing mattered right then. Nothing except for Soubi.

A male doctor came in, growling and agitated that he had suddenly been called it. "What is it?" Ritsuka frowned at his rudeness, but he didn't let it worsen his mood. He sat up, holding Soubi's hand again, and opened his mouth to speak, growing more irritated when the doctor interrupted him before he could say anything. "Kid, he's dead. Accept it."

How rude. Was this hospital filled with unfriendly people? First the nurse, and now this guy. What was wrong with these people? Ritsuka knew the answer- it was because of his age. To them he was just some little kid who lost someone he was really attached to. They didn't even know the half of it. This was the man that helped him deal with the pain and he was the only one who loved him in such a sincere way. Ritsuka had been through things far beyond their imagination and this was the man that helped him keep himself together and sane, the man who had picked up all the pieces and put him back together, making him complete. Of course that was way too much, for any of these damn adults to understand, but they could at least respect him a little.

"No," Ritsuka objected, glaring at the guy as he rolled his eyes and sighed. "Watch." He turned back to Soubi, who was very much alive, and spoke again, "Soubi, blink five times." Again, he couldn't do any less of a number, or the doctor would just pass it off as some sort of muscular spasm of the eye.

Soubi obeyed without a pause and did as Ritsuka told him to. This seemed to catch the tall doctor's attention, since he narrowed his eyes, studying Soubi.

"Again," He ordered, confusion evident in his voice. Ritsuka imagined that Soubi wasn't very happy with this man, either, but he did it anyways. "Again," This guy was either an idiot, or he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Ritsuka was sure Soubi would be berating this man and insulting his stupidity if he could talk, but he just glanced towards Ritsuka and did the blinking again.

"Now do you see?" Ritsuka asked, irritated.

"Yes," The curtness was gone from the physician's voice, wonderment and puzzlement taking its place. "But…it's impossible…! I-I measured his brain activity myself! He's brain-dead!"

Soubi's eyes, even his cloudy one, flickered to Ritsuka, who was standing over him. It did seem impossible, but this was Soubi's health they were talking about. This man could self-heal by simply sleeping. He had survived two severe heart failures and he was obviously still here, even though he had been pronounced brain-dead. Soubi clearly did not have the health of a normal person.

"No!" Ritsuka argued back. "Test him again!" There was that panic that Ritsuka had been trying to keep out of his voice. He was suddenly frustrated again, mostly at the doctors who didn't know what was going on with him. He held Soubi's hand in both of his own, knowing that he was the only one who knew some of what was going on with the man.

"I…I must have made some sort of mistake…" The doctor was saying. "I'm going to get some other doctors…"

He left, only to come back with seven others within a minute. Ritsuka and Kio were quickly ushered out of the room, left outside with no knowledge of how Soubi was doing. Kio drove Ritsuka home. Ritsuka didn't tell him, but he hadn't wanted to go home. He had stayed at Soubi's on Thursday night, and he hadn't been home Friday at all. She would be absolutely furious with him for not being home for two nights. Kio didn't know that his mother beat him, and he didn't want to tell him, either, so he just let him drive him home, not knowing how bad his mother would be.


I suppose this is a bit happier chapter.

Thanks to Tamer Lorika, Promocat, xxlovelessxbelovedxx, toolazytologin, yell0wbutterfly, eternaltearsofblood, Riaries, Cynthia, Lolita otaku, bigmachine, Tlcatlady, and lovelessreviewer for all the reviews!

Please review if you liked it and want to see what happens with Ritsuka's mother!

~Wolfie

...I really should be writing Taken