AN: Ok, so I'm going to start putting these at the beginning because I always seem to have something else to say. I'm now aiming at a chapter a day, but don't expect any miracles. First of all, anything with a before and after it is a memory. Anything with a / before it and a \\ after it is a dream. Comments, favourites (if you're really nice), cyber cookies, anything which could motivate me to write more is more than welcome. So far, Dem-Dem hasn't had to cry yet, so well done guys! :D
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"Are you still having those dreams then?"
"Not as frequently. But they're getting worse. Look, Zex-"No matter how many times Saïx tried to tell his dear friend that he just did not need this therapy, Zexion refused to let him go. It was only because Zexion did not like the idea of the dreams Saïx told him he was having; especially when he told them what he saw. Saïx sighed before trying again, in the hope that if he persisted on, Zexion would finally give in.
"Look, Zexion. I appreciate what you're doing. But we studied psychology together for God's sake! I'd know if something was wrong with me. I'm probably under some form of tension or stress, that's all." For the first time since Zexion demanded that Saïx go to him for therapy, the small, purple-haired man had nothing to say. Saïx had the same idea as he did, so clearly he was thinking straight and there was a possibility that there was nothing seriously wrong with his mind. So why did he feel he had to look after him?
"Saïx, it's not the dreams I worry about. It's the fact that you believe them. And before you ask, the incident with Axel was a coincidence."
"….so much of a coincidence that I saw it before it happened?" Zexion sighed heavily. Saïx would not let that go.
One night, Saïx had a nightmare. It was one in a chain of many. He was on a bus with Zexion, Axel, Roxas, Xemnas, Lexaeus, Xigbar and Luxord. They all got off at a certain stop except Axel, who stayed on to go pick something up from a store. He was pulling faces at them from the back of the bus as it drove away, so Saïx stopped to return them. However, a lorry from the other lane swerved round and hit the bus, spilling oil which soon caught fire from a passing pedestrian who dropped the butt of their cigarette. Naturally, Saïx screamed to the others and ran to the flaming metallic lump. The heat and a fast-growing crowd prevented him from getting very far though, and all he could focus on were the pained screams and horrific, bloody state of his brother, who was slowly burning before his eyes. The next day, Saïx demanded that Axel get off at the stop that the rest of them did. As Saïx had dreamed, the lorry hit the bus and soon, all that was left of the two were smouldering metal skeletons and the traumatising sights of burned carcasses, injured people and ash.
It was then that Saïx began to think into his nightmares. But Zexion had none of it.
As Saïx walked out of the room, he considered whether he should just say to Zexion that he was going to stop attending the sessions. He never paid Zexion (not that Saïx didn't offer, just that Zexion refused to accept), so Zexion would just gain time to focus on people who really did have mental issues.
"How was he?"
"Same as ever. You're lucky, Xem. If he thought you had issues too, he'd never leave you alone." Xemnas laughed at his friend, who always seemed to make a joke of these nightmares, even though he knew that even the idea of them scared Saïx. He'd seen his best friend drink saturate his body with caffeine or go to some other extreme to keep sleep at bay. That scared Xemnas, which was why he encouraged those sessions; to see if Saïx could overcome the fear and start sleeping again. Saïx used to never lack energy, and was always ready to take on whatever life threw at him. But since that day with the bus, he'd not been the same. It was obvious (to Xemnas, at least) that the nightmares were getting to Saïx badly, yet no one talked about it. Not even Zexion, who focused on trying to get Saïx to stop believing what he was dreaming. It deeply upset Xemnas to see his best friend and the man he loved so quiet, and so distant. Yet he could not help but feel slightly honoured when he saw Saïx at least make an effort to smile and enjoy himself when he was around. It was as if he was the one person Saïx wanted to be assured that he was okay, which he was. Not to Xemnas' knowledge, he was the last person Saïx wanted to ask about the nightmares. Saïx wanted Xemnas to be happy, as happy and content as he was, once upon a time. If he were to worry, Saïx would never forgive himself for upsetting God's gift to Earth, so he played the game. Never spoke; never raised suspicion.
But Saïx made Xemnas more and more worried with each passing day. Xemnas wanted to help him. In fact, Xemnas was going to help him.
The two had barely reached the zoo before they were bombarded with tasks. No one ever questioned where Saïx went to; they all knew already.
"Xemnas, we need more school tour guides…"
"Saïx, you need to fix that damn lion…" Yes, that was nature's way of saying that they were still wanted in the world. The fact that there was always another group of people wanting personal tours or another animal that had psychological problems. But all day, Xemnas could not seem to take his mind off his beloved Saïx, and ways in which he could make it all better for him. All he wanted to do was make his problems disappear with a click of his fingers, never to come back. If only it were that simple. Saïx was as closed as a locked diary with a missing key, no one could read him. Not even his mother. But he needed to get Saïx to let him in, even if it meant spilling out his feelings for his blue-haired friend.
The day could not have dragged on any more if it was stretched on a rack for everyone. As Saïx walked into his apartment, all he could think about was the time he got to spend with Xemnas, alone, and the session with Zexion. That little (literally) bookworm had said something to him that day which he just could not get out of his head.
You cannot foresee the future, Saïx. It's all in your head, and it's all probably paranoia. Anything you do see will never happen, you should know that.
Or course he knew that it was all in his mind. But he had learned that science can be wrong. What if the dreams were trying to tell him something? What if everything he saw was leading him to something? Saïx threw himself ungraciously onto the sofa, rubbing his forehead with frustration. Both he and Zexion were thinking into the issue too much, he had to focus on something else. Something that had the capacity to occupy his mind until he fell asleep (which he was tempted to try again, the exhaustion would be the death of him). That was easy: Xemnas.
/They were walking through the town centre, just enjoying a day off together. It was a beautiful day, and they were all happy, even Saïx and the normally depressed-appearing Zexion. They reached the riverside, on the outskirts of the city. It was a picturesque setting; nothing seemed out of place or wrong.
"Hey
boys. Any of you got £5 you could lend for some alcohol?" A drunk
slurred to them. They all had the money, but each one mentally
refused to give it to him. Each one shook their heads at him, with
Xemnas actually speaking out.
"Sorry, we're all out." But
simple reasoning clearly was not going to work on this guy. He
grabbed Xemnas by the shoulders, shaking him violently. Saïx bit and
punched the man in an attempt to make him let go of Xemnas, but was
punched in the stomach and mouth himself. Saïx recoiled, holding his
stomach. He heard some of the others (including Xemnas) scream out to
him, but he focused on standing again. He had to get this man away
from everyone. Saïx could taste the bloody from his lip, and ran at
the man again, trying to loosen his hands around Xemnas. The man
finally let go, but only to pick Saïx up and throw him to the
ground. Saïx heard the group gasp, scream and run to him. He could
hear Xemnas hurling abuse at the drunk.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?! You could've killed him you fucking idiot! We've got no money for you so go fuck off and ask someone else or maybe you'll do the decent fucking thing and go clean the hell up! People like you make me sick!! What the fuck did he ever do to you?!" Saïx wanted to tell Xemnas to stop, and to get everyone away from there, but he mouth refused to open. He saw the man grab Xemnas again, only this time, he dragged him to the river and threw him in. He then held him down, until the water became still again. The drunken man finally stumbled off, everyone too shocked to chase him. Luxord rushed to the river and fished Xemnas' body out. There was no pulse. It was too late. And all the while, Saïx was just lying on the floor….\\
Saïx screamed and sat bolt upright. He was covered in sweat, and looked at his surroundings. He was in his bedroom, he was safe. But what he just saw was so real. He grabbed his phone from the dresser and called Xemnas. If he answered, then Saïx knew it was all a dream. If he didn't, he could not be sure.
"H-Hello?" Thank God. He was okay.
"Oh my God…thank…oh God…you're okay…" Saïx sighed, more to himself than to Xemnas. Never before had he been more relieved.
"Umm…Saïx? Are you feeling alright?" Xemnas was awake now; Saïx had seen or heard something, and it had really scared him. His voice was so quiet and shaky.
"Yeah…yeah…just…they've
come back Xem. The dreams came back…" Oh God. Not them again,
Xemnas thought as he got out of bed and grabbed the first clean
clothes he could find.
"Alright Saïx, give me ten minutes.
I'll be there soon."
"Oh, no really, you don't-"
"Yes,
Saïx. I do. I'll see you in ten minutes." And with that, Xemnas
hung up. He really did rush himself to get ready and almost ran to
Saïx's apartment. The fact that it was some ungodly hour in the
morning meant nothing; at that moment, Saïx was clearly traumatised
by what he had seen. He needed to be there for him. And this time,
Xemnas would make Saïx talk to him about it. Xemnas rang the
doorbell, trying to hide just how out of breath he was.
Saïx was going to talk. That's what was best for him. Xemnas would make him.
As any good friend would.
