Unknown Planet
Milky Way Galaxy
Bra'tac had left three days ago, leaving her with enough food until he got back. Except, Sam had been hungry and eaten most of it by day two. She'd managed to save some soup – thick and rather tasteless drab with large chunks of some kind of bitter vegetable – for breakfast earlier today but the rest was gone. Well, with the exception of two beautiful pieces of some exotic-looking fruit. Of course, when Bra'tac first introduced her to it on their previous planet, she'd had a bad reaction. It started with stomachaches, followed by cramps and heartburn. At first, she'd been afraid something was wrong with the baby but then she'd thrown up and the pain in her stomach receded. There had still been the occasional cramping and she'd suffered from diarrhea for two days, but after that everything went to normal. However, since then, she'd avoided the pretty-looking fruit.
Apparently Bra'tac had forgotten.
She turned away from the fruit before she could give in and eat it, regardless of consequences, and put on some water. The shelter they'd been living in on this planet was large and remote enough for her to make a fire. From his last trip off-world Bra'tac had brought back a pot, which reminded her of a mini caldron. It was what he'd used to make the soup. Now, she was using it for tea. There was enough water and leaves to make some of the hot liquid. Hopefully, it would still her hunger until Bra'tac returned with more food.
Ladling some of the tea in a cup, Sam idly wondered how Bra'tac had carried the pot all the way over here. Was he planning to lug it around when they moved again? Sure, it was a handy item to make food but it was heavy and they always tried to travel as light as possible.
Rolling her eyes at the image of the old Jaffa carrying the caldron on his back, she straightened up and ran a hand through greasy hair. She would have to wash it soon. It had been days already and even though she washed up regularly, the greasy hair made her feel dirty. Like she was some unwashed and unkempt creature who didn't give a damn. It would have to wait until Bra'tac had returned, though. The river where they did their washing was only a few klicks away but she didn't have the energy right now and wanted to be around when Bra'tac came back.
She chuckled softly when she felt the baby kick and placed a hand over the spot. "Guess that means you agree with me, huh kiddo?" The baby kicked again, as if confirming. Lately, the baby had grown more active and Sam loved the interaction they had at moments like these. It made her feel less alone but also gave her concrete proof of the tiny human being growing inside of her. Of course, her very round and prominent belly was hard to miss nowadays, too. Well, as long as stood up straight with the fabric of her dress stretching over her abdomen.
"Momma's gonna need new clothes soon," she said, pressing back against the baby with her hand. "Who knows, maybe Bra'tac will bring me something other than the tools I asked for. Some meat would be nice, too."
Every now and then, the Jaffa would bring back meat from his little off-world trips. He usually traded for it on a market or something, but on occasion it was from an animal he'd captured. The problem with the uninhabited planets he chose for them was that there were often few animals around. Insects and some birds, but small game was difficult to find. Sam didn't know enough about hunting or alien life on other planets to determine whether that had do to with where they chose to set up camp or if there was another reason for it. But either way, she appreciated it when he brought back meat; not just because it was filling and a nice change in diet, but she also felt stronger after eating it. The nutritional value was higher than alien fruits, veggies and nuts, it seemed. She clearly wasn't cut out for a vegetarian diet…
Taking a sip of tea, Sam decided to go for a walk to work out some of the kinks in her back. Sleeping on her side was more comfortable now that she was further along in her pregnancy but the hard ground did her body no favors. Her back often felt stiff during the day and their treks to the river usually helped, but she hadn't left the shelter in two days.
The sun was low in the sky but its rays still warmed her as she tilted her face up. Even now, weeks, hell months, after she'd escaped, she felt like she wasn't getting enough sunshine. The time spent in captivity or with Klorel wasn't something she wanted to think about, but the thought often popped into her head on unguarded moments. Back then, she barely saw any natural sunlight and it had messed with her circadian rhythm. Not that it was any better, these days, with all the planet hopping.
"One day I'll learn," Sam promised the baby, "hopefully before you arrive."
Bra'tac seemed to have some innate sense of time and regardless of the planet they were on or how many suns were present, he always seemed to be able to tell how much time had passed. She missed her watch, especially its calendar. Inability to tell time hadn't been a major problem yet, but without a way to keep track of time and dates, Sam was entirely reliant on Bra'tac and that worried her in regards to her due date. She figured she'd be able to tell when she was close from her increased size by then, but there were preparations to be made way before her due date. "I expect you to warn me ahead of time too, kiddo."
Just as the conversation was starting to feel too one-sided, Sam heard the telltale kawoosh sound – a stargate activating – and turned into its direction. The gate was a couple of klicks away and in the opposite direction of the river. The landscape near their shelter was rather barren, with a couple of trees and underbrush for camouflage. But sound carried well over the distance, especially something as loud as a kawoosh. The precise direction from which Bra'tac would come was difficult to tell, so Sam reached into the small purse attached to her belt and pulled out a lodestone.
Bra'tac had gifted her with it, after picking up an extra one on an off-world market he'd visited. Ever since, he'd been trying to teach her how to use it. It wasn't difficult, in theory. It was a brownish-black piece of mineral with a metallic luster and a black streak over it. On Earth, they called the mineral magnetite, a naturally occurring magnet that attracted iron. A suspended piece of lodestone functioned as a magnetic compass and that was how Jaffa often decided which way to go on an unfamiliar planet, according to Bra'tac.
"I prefer a regular compass to be honest," she said, smiling at the baby's kick in response to her voice. "But I suppose this will do for lack of something better. I almost got it right last time we tried. Next time it'll go even better."
She waited until the lodestone pointed in the direction of the planet's magnetic pole and adjusted her stance accordingly. From there, she had a good vantage point of the path Bra'tac would take. "You know what," she said aloud, "let's go walk towards him. He might be carrying a lot of things or be tired, or something."
With that, Sam checked her weapons – the zat'nik'tel and ribbon device were hanging from her belt – and waterskin, before taking off. The walk would do her good, even if Bra'tac wouldn't appreciate the gesture. If it were up to him, she'd be locked up in an ivory tower until delivery, but that wasn't going to happen. He knew, didn't like it but accepted that she was a "stubborn female Tau'ri", as he liked to call her.
Her calves protested against the slight incline of the terrain but she knew that wouldn't last long. There weren't many muscle groups that didn't protest whenever she moved these days, so she gritted her teeth and ignored the strain. She kept one hand on her hip, near her weapons, and with the other she occasionally rubbed her stomach as the baby moved around. Her legs ate up the distance and soon she was surrounded by trees, providing some much needed shade. She went for a quick latrine break and, after taking a few swigs of water, continued on the path while checking her lodestone every now and then.
Bra'tac came into view shortly after she left the trees behind her. He was carrying the large bag he'd left with on his back, had his staff weapon in one hand and was holding something large over his shoulder. The skullcap he usually always wore except when bathing was nowhere to be seen. "Chel hol, Sām."
She rolled her eyes at his pronunciation of her name and waited until he was closer to greet him. "Hi. Did you get everything?"
"Would I have returned if I had not accomplished this task, hm?" He said, not unfriendly.
"Guess not," she muttered under her breath, turning around to fall in step with him. "Can I carry that… um, thing?"
He raised a brow when she gestured at whatever it was he had on his shoulder. "No, you cannot. I may be an old warrior, but I am not weak."
"I'm pregnant, not an invalid," she huffed. Seeing his confusion, she elaborated, "Someone who, uh, is incapacitated by illness or injury."
"A cripple," he said, nodding to himself. "I will not risk the wellbeing of your unborn child because you are stubborn."
"Fine, I won't help. I was just trying to be nice and considerate. The baby is fine, he or she has been kicking and moving around all day."
Bra'tac's face lit up with a genuine smile as he cast a look at her protruding belly. "You and the child are most fortunate." He waited until they were surrounded by trees once more, ran a piece of cloth over his balding head to wipe away beads of sweat, and turned to her. "Are all Tau'ri pregnancies as resilient as yours?"
Taken aback by the question, Sam opened her mouth to reply before closing it again. She didn't really know all that much about pregnancies. The only pregnant woman she'd ever interacted with was her brother's wife, Lauren. Mark and Lauren had a two-year-old girl and a baby on the way by the time she'd left Earth. But her relationship with her brother hadn't been the best, so it wasn't as if she'd been very hands-on with her sister-in-law's pregnancies. "Um, no. I don't think so, at least. Trust me; I was more surprised than you are when Herit told me about the baby."
"You did not expect the child within to survive after the treatment you received in captivity?"
"Well, I didn't know I was pregnant to begin with, so…" She shrugged and started walking with him again. "I know statistically many women miscarry before they even know they're pregnant but that's usually only in the first six or eight weeks, I believe. From then on, most women will take a pregnancy test and thus know whether they're pregnant or not."
"A pregnancy test?"
"It's a, um, device that can measure the amount of a certain hormone that's elevated in a woman's body during pregnancy – when they're with child," Sam explained, trying to simplify it as much as possible. "Uh, a hormone is a small compound in a person's blood. You can't see it with the naked eye, but there are devices and technologies to make them visible."
"Magic."
The way he said it, with his serious expression and self-assured nod, almost made her laugh, but she managed to keep it in. "I suppose what we call technology could be seen as magic to those unfamiliar with the concept and theory behind it…" Tomayto, tomahto, she thought.
"This device," Bra'tac said tentatively, "it is similar to the seneb'kesh?"
Sam looked down to where he pointed at the Goa'uld healing device attached to her belt, on the opposite hip of her weapons. "The healing device? I don't know. I thought it could only be used for, uh, healing."
"A Goa'uld can use it to detect illness or other ailments in another person as well."
"Oh. I had no idea."
"I have witnessed Apophis and his underlords use it on many lo'taurs or Jaffa to determine whether they are with child."
She supposed that made her the lucky one who hadn't been scanned with the healing device prior to being implanted with Herit. Shaking off that thought, Sam touched the healing device. It didn't look like something that could save lives or heal broken bones. If she hadn't read about the former host Kendra on Cimmeria in SG-1's mission reports, she never would have recognized the reddish crystal with its golden handle as a healing device. It looked more like an innocent paperweight. "I guess there are a lot of things I still need to learn. Back on the ship, I only practiced with the hand device because of its defensive and offensive powers."
"There will be time later," Bra'tac said. "Once a female Tau'ri has performed this test, her gestation results in a healthy child?"
"Uh, no. Pregnancy can be a very delicate thing sometimes. Some women miscarry easily, whereas others are more resilient. It also depends on how far along a woman is. Miscarriages tend to happen more frequently in the first trimester – the first three months of nine in total," she explained, wondering if Jaffa even used months to denote the passing of time. "The current theory is that miscarriages occur to weed out anomalies, often with a genetic cause. But that's not always the case. There can be environmental or nutritional causes too. And sometimes, it seems to happen for no good reason at all."
"Defective children, hm?" He nodded, staring ahead pensively. "Jaffa and sometimes humans will produce these on occasion. They are killed by the Goa'uld or their priest."
Shocked, Sam stopped walking and stared at him. "The children?" How could he condone such a practice? It was barbaric!
"Hm? Yes, them too."
"You mean they kill the parents and the children?!"
Bra'tac appeared intrigued by her outrage and cocked an eyebrow. "Only the women and the children. The fathers are often Jaffa warriors or human farmers who are required to grow food for the Goa'uld's army."
"That's despicable."
"Is it not so among the Tau'ri?"
She shook her head, her stomach still churning over the information he'd just provided. "No. Some children will be born with a defect, but in the developed countries we have good healthcare and pregnant women are monitored carefully. Some defects can't be prevented and aren't discovered until the child is born but even then they nor their mothers are killed over it!"
"Admirable, yet foolish. Do these children not require more care and assistance?"
"Sure, in a lot of cases that's true. But their parents love them regardless. They don't make a distinction between them and healthy children, because they don't see them as commodities or possessions."
"The Tau'ri's ways are strange to me, Sām."
She looked at him with a small smile and sighed, "Oh, the same goes for me when it comes to Jaffa culture."
"Your unborn child is no longer at risk for defects in your current moment of gestation?"
"I hope not," she said, her hand protectively on her bump. "If Herit was right, then the sarcophagus should have healed any injuries or defects the baby may have gotten from the way I was treated early on in the pregnancy."
"Then you will both be well."
"Well, considering everything that can go wrong during a pregnancy, it's almost a miracle the human race hasn't died out yet. It's really impossible to predict. I don't know enough about it to say anything with certainty, but I am hopeful the baby is healthy."
"As am I."
O'Neill Residence
Colorado Springs, CO
January 5, 1998
Jack took another swig of beer, gaze glued to the television screen. The colors flickered across his face but the images didn't really register with him. He narrowed his eyes when a laugh sounded loudly from the TV, grating on his nerves. He huffed and brought the bottle of beer back to his lips, only to realize it was empty already.
"Oh, for crying out loud," he muttered, his voice hoarse from disuse. He dropped the empty bottle next to his chair, to join its three cousins. Licking his lips, he glanced at the collected bottles and wondered if he should get another.
"Ah, hell."
Grunting, he got up with some effort, ignoring the creaking of his knees, and moved to the liquor cabinet. The beer wasn't cutting it; he needed something stronger tonight. Jack poured himself some whiskey, swirled it around in the glass and downed it in one go.
He closed his eyes and welcomed the slow burn in his throat. When he opened his eyes again, he realized it was dark outside. Night had fallen and he hadn't even noticed. The TV was the only illumination in the living room but he couldn't bring himself to turn on some lights, so he poured himself another glass and went back to his chair.
The yellow figures on the screen couldn't lift his dark mood and he fumbled with the remote to change the channel. He sucked in a breath when he came across a news story about a massacre in Algeria the day before; over a hundred seventy people had been killed in what was being called the Wilaya of Relizane massacres.
He quickly turned off the TV after the footage shown reminded him of the mission he'd returned from only hours ago. SG-1 and SG-2 had gone to P3X-382 for a recon, only to find a site destroyed by Goa'uld weaponry. The city nearest the stargate had been destroyed and bodies were strewn everywhere. Most were still warm and some burnt or charred beyond recognition from staff weapons or death gliders. Ferretti's team and his own had searched the site but there were no survivors. No Jaffa or Goa'uld either. It seemed like such a random attack on what had once been a peaceful forested world of simple villages with Nordic roots, according to Daniel.
Teal'c had suggested the Goa'uld in charge of the attack might have been looking for something after Daniel's research implied the Goa'uld had not interfered on the planet – Nasya – for over three hundred years. That had given Daniel hope, speculating Sha're could have been there since Moac told them Apophis had hid her somewhere prior to attacking Earth.
All it gave Jack was a bad taste in his mouth and some more images of slaughtered innocents. There had to have been over a thousand bodies; he lost count over halfway through while checking for signs of life. Hammond had put SG-2 and the three new teams in charge of recovery, though.
Jesus, he could still smell the scent of burnt flesh and see the terrified looks on the victims' faces whenever he closed his eyes. It was like Hanka all over again, except there had been far more damage and evidence of a Goa'uld attack this time around – and there was no surviving alien girl who'd captured all of their hearts.
"All so fucking useless," Jack said, gritting his teeth. So, hurrah they'd blown up two ships attacking Earth, possibly sacrificing the lives of Skaara and Sam in the process, and a few weeks later the Goa'uld destroy a whole planet without breaking so much as a sweat. What was the damn point?! For all he knew, there were a dozen more planets in the galaxy with the same fate. Hell, Earth could have been one of them. That was still a possibility…
He was getting so tired of all the death and destruction. What good did it do to go out there, risking their lives, when the Goa'uld destroyed whole civilizations after they turned their backs? They killed one Goa'uld and his offspring, but according to Teal'c another would soon claim Apophis' domain and they'd be right back where they started. Hell, they didn't even know for sure if Apophis – and Skaara and Sam – was dead to begin with.
Taking another swig of whiskey, he thought back over the past year. They'd already lost too many people and the end was nowhere in sight. What had they accomplished with their actions, really? Yeah, so, they'd saved Earth. Well, if they'd never gone after Apophis in the first place that might not have been necessary. And fuck, but was he suddenly agreeing with Samuels and that asshole Kinsey? He tightened the grip on his glass, trying to push the anger back into a corner of his mind, before it overwhelmed him.
The memory of Skaara's face, broken and terrified of the snake inside of him, surfaced and Jack's hands shook as he recalled shooting the Abydonian boy. He'd killed him. It didn't matter that the sarcophagus had revived him; he'd been capable of killing someone he cared about. Skaara had been innocent in all this and may never have been taken if they hadn't gone to Abydos. And instead of saving him, Jack had left him in a room with Apophis and fled the ship in a death glider. A sarcophagus wouldn't do Skaara any good if he'd been blown up with the ship.
"God damn it!"
He threw his glass away in the dark, feeling a small sense of satisfaction when he heard it break and imagined the mess it made. But it wasn't enough to keep the memories and guilt of the past few weeks at bay. He'd abandoned Skaara, after promising Daniel and Kasuf that he'd find him and bring him back to Abydos. He failed them.
Hell, he'd failed everyone; Daniel, Kasuf, Skaara, Sha're… Sam. It didn't matter what Hammond said or how he tried to convince himself that Sam, like Skaara, would be better off dead than alive with a snake controlling her. She was an officer in the Air Force just like he was and he knew she would understand his actions if she was as good as her file claimed, but strangely that didn't make him feel any better. After Iraq, he'd sworn never to leave anyone behind. Within reason. But he hadn't even given her a fighting chance.
Deep down, Jack knew that it wouldn't have mattered if he'd gone after her. If the ships had destroyed Earth then it would have all been for naught. And he had no idea where to start looking for her, although Bra'tac might have been able to send him in the right direction. Still, they probably both would have died in the explosion if he'd gone looking. Hell, his whole team might have died.
But Sam deserved better from him. Not just as a fellow officer; he'd felt a connection with her that night in DC and if they'd met back at the SGC the next day, he would have wanted to explore it. Hell, didn't Daniel's trip to the alternate reality prove that there could be something special between them? She was the kind of woman he could fall hard for and the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to find her and see if it was true.
Even if she wasn't interested in more from him, he still should have gone looking for her on that ship. The moment Teal'c told them the Goa'uld had specific knowledge of Earth he'd known it was her, that Apophis had made her a host. That had to be terrifying for her. And what had he done? Turned his back on her and fled the ship, without another thought.
Christ, he hated himself for leaving her there.
Unknown Planet
Milky Way Galaxy
Sam looked down at the roll of fabric Bra'tac had given her once they'd finished their meal. "What's this for?"
"New clothing."
"It's a piece of cloth."
Bra'tac smirked, seemingly pleased. "To make clothing."
"Right." Sam bit her lip, trying to come up with a way to explain to him why that wasn't a good idea. If all she'd needed was some fabric, then she could have used her cloak or one of the other shifts she'd taken from Herit's closet. Hell, she could have made herself a nice, comfortable bra for her swollen and sore breasts. They'd always been a tad too full for her to go braless, both for support and being in the military, but now that she was pregnant it was really uncomfortable to walk around without proper support. "You do realize I can't do anything with this, right?"
"Why not, hm?"
"Well, for one I don't have the proper tools," she said, exasperation coloring her tone, "but also, I'm not a tailor."
He looked at her, a confused expression on his face. "Then how do you obtain your clothing?"
"How do you?" She asked, raising a brow. It hadn't escaped her attention that he was expecting her, the woman, to make them new clothes instead of doing it himself.
"It is the prerogative of a Jaffa of my rank to receive clothing tailored by a Goa'uld's slaves."
"I buy them. You know, with currency I earn from doing my job."
"You cannot make them yourself?"
Sam sighed, before casting another look at the fabric and shrugging. "I don't know. Maybe if I have the proper tools I could make something. I don't know if it could pass for appropriate clothing, though. I don't suppose you could try your hand at it?"
"I cannot perform a woman's task," he said, matter of fact.
"You do realize we'll both have to do things we're not used to, right? This is not my ideal lifestyle either, in case you've forgotten."
He frowned and took a swig of water. "I am aware, Sām. Since obtaining the rank of First Prime I have not been relegated to foraging or hunting, yet I obtain the sustenance we require to survive."
"I know and I'm grateful," she hastened to add. If it hadn't been for him, she probably would have starved already. "And I can help-"
"You do not know poison from tea! I am surprised you survived into adulthood," he said, chuckling.
Sam narrowed her eyes at him, not amused. "Again, I buy the food I need. We have supermarkets and grocery stores… they're like the markets you travel to, except they sell all kinds of food. Sometimes even whole meals that you only need to reheat at home."
Bra'tac shook his head as he stood up, stretching his legs and muttering. "The Tau'ri sound incompetent and lazy. It is a wonder your population grew to the size it is today."
"Then teach me," she said. "Teach me what is edible and what is poison, for humans and Jaffa. Teach me to hunt and prepare meat."
"Your kind knows nothing and is too scared to risk their lives for their livelihood. Do you think you can forage and hunt, even while with child?"
She nodded and rose to her feet. "Wouldn't it be better to teach me now before the baby is born? I can help stock the food we need before we leave for Cimmeria."
"You may risk your life and that of your child, though."
"Don't we do that every day, anyway?"
"Very well," Bra'tac said, inclining his head.
