The Diary of a Dramatic Asshole: Kyo Sohma
Wednesday
I am upstairs in my room thinking about what Yuki said to me the other day. 'Come and talk to me when you have grown some balls.' Hmp. Holy fuck! What if Yuki wants me to grow some balls so that he can have them? What if he wants to put them in his trophy case? What a sick fuck! I am gonna go see what he is up to.
My eyes! My beautiful eyes. I guess that I am too curious for my own good. I walked in there and there was Yuki on the bed (which is in plain sight from the door way, by the way) and he is waxing his carrot! He looks at me and winks. I slam the door and flee to my bedroom. I think that I am going to have a heart attack! Hold that thought Haru is calling me on my cell. Be back in a flash.
Haru's phone call brought me more dirt than I could have ever dreamed to have gotten. Well, I could look in his diary, but I don't want to waste my precious time peddling though his shit. I have better things to do with my time, like finish that two-way mirror in the girl's locker room. That is going to be a treat when that is done. Anyway! Back to the phone call…
"Yuki was spotted in a fag bar and he was dancing with a guy from our school. The one that has the nipple rings and the red hair."
"What were they doing, Haru?"
"They were um, how do I put this? He was sucking on his neck like he would an ice cream cone. It was like watching you eat an ice cream cone outside of Dairy Queen."
I am too sickened to even comment at the remark that he made about me. What the fuck is this world coming to? I thought that he was gay, but this makes it worse! All the kinky sex he must have when I am out….and think of all the dildos he must have in his bedroom! That is just sick. I think that I need to go and throw up now..
On my way to the bathroom to throw up I hear splashing out in the backyard. Fuckin' Shigure wanting to put in a pool. What a retard. I glance out the window to see Yuki out drowning in the pool. I laugh for a second until I realize that he has a brick tied around his ankle. Fuck that! How dare someone try to kill him. That is my goal in life! I fly down the stairs and fish Yuki out of the pool. By the time that I do this he is a light shade of blue. "OH SHIT! YUKI IS DEAD!! OH HELL! MAYBE HE IS NOT DEAD. I KNOW WHAT I WILL DO. I WILL GIVE HIM MOUTH TO MOUTH!" I press my lips against Yuki's and I am about to blow air into his lungs when a hand comes and presses me closer to Yuki. Yuki's tongue is somehow in my mouth. I connect two and two. "HOLY SHIT! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" I push Yuki away, and take a mouthful of pool water, gargle for a second and then I spit it out in the bushes. "What the fuck, Yuki?" I ask him and all he can do is smile at me. I feel my inner rage building up. He better have a good excuse or I am going to knock his fuckin' teeth out. Yuki can sense my anger and he blushes. "Don't be angry Kyo, please?" I lose my temper and I shove him to the ground. "You sick piece of shit!" I yell in his face; this is a mistake as, Yuki leans up and kisses me. I fall backwards and vomit into the bushes. Yuki gets up and saunters away like nothing happened.
What a sick little bastard. He fakes a suicide just so he can kiss me. That cock juggler is creative, I'll give him that much. And that is all that I am going to give him!
