Chapter 3: Take Me Out To The Ballgame
"Penny for your thoughts?" Ed's voice breaks into Olivia's reverie as he hands her a beer.
"I doubt they're worth even that much." She smiles, taking the local microbrew from his hand and takes a swig. "This is good."
"One of my favorites." He sits down next to her, edging a little closer to lend her some warmth. The evening was relatively mild but the wind was a little chilly and he doesn't miss her slight shiver.
"You warm enough?" Tucker asks.
"Of course. Compared to winter and 1PP for that matter, this is like the tropics." Olivia laughs. "But thanks for asking."
"How's Community Affairs?"
She winces. Olivia had desperately been hoping to get through the evening without having to discuss the utter humiliation of wearing a really bright blue polo and having a...fan club. She had never cared for having the spotlight on herself and having people fangirl over her was just...disconcerting and uncomfortable. She just wanted to keep her head down and be done with her punishment as quickly as possible.
Although, the way things were going on the investigation, she was beginning to fear that perhaps her stint in Community Affairs would become a permanent position. And, if that was the case, did she really want to stay in the NYPD? Was this perhaps a sign that it was time to walk away? There had been many long nights she had had to work and had missed spending time with Noah. Children grow up so fast - she didn't want to miss all of his childhood.
She already missed enough.
The average stint in the Special Victims Unit was about two years. Four, if you were lucky. And she had been there an almost unprecedented sixteen and a half years. God, she was so tired. Not for the first time, she understands how Elliot walked away from it all.
"Earth to Benson." Tucker nudges her slightly.
"I'm sorry – I keep spacing out on you." Olivia smiles at him apologetically.
"Not a problem. I'm not going anywhere." He leans back against the next bleacher row. "You don't have to talk about it."
For a moment, they sit in silence, drinking their beer and watching the action on the baseball field. It is a nice night, the grass was still fresh with the dew from recent rains, and it smelled clean and good. A fresh change from pouring over reports and files that Carisi and Fin (bless their rule-breaking souls) had snuck to her on the sly. After their eighth hour straight, Tucker had insisted on them taking a break and had brought her to his nephew's baseball game.
And Olivia was really liking it. She didn't know anybody – and no one really knew her (or if they did from news reports, no one was tactless enough to mention or acknowledge it) so she feels safe in her anonymity. And Ed is a great companion, giving her a running list of some of baseball's greats. Normally, baseball really isn't her thing but watching a game with someone who appreciates it as much as Ed does, makes it enjoyable for her. It's a relief from the darkness and the stress.
You take the light where you can find it.
"Thanks for bringing me tonight, Ed." Olivia says gratefully.
"Glad I could get you to leave the apartment." He gives her that half-smirk of his that she finds so endearing.
She smiles ruefully, "I know – I've been a bit of a recluse. But between work and taking care of Noah and trying to figure out who is behind all of this...I haven't had time to get out much."
"We're gonna have to change that." Tucker says, giving her hand a squeeze.
"I might be open to that." She grins. Hell, she's open to anything that doesn't involve murders, sexual violence, and systemic cover-ups.
Tucker gives her hand one last squeeze and turns his attention back to the game. And while he's watching, Olivia takes a little time to study him.
Ed Tucker is a handsome man. Still trim and fit in his early fifties, Tucker has the physique of a much younger man. He's almost religious in his fervor to keep in shape so he can work as long as possible. And it is galling for him to be sitting on the sidelines – so, during the time he hasn't been helping Liv with Noah or the investigation, he's been going for runs, playing in pick-up basketball leagues in his neighborhood, and staying active.
"GODDAMMIT, UMP, HE WAS SAFE BY A MILE." He roars, startling Benson who almost knocks over her beer.
"Oh God, you're one of those spectactors, aren't you?" She mock groans.
"But he was completely safe. That call was such bullshit. The ump needs glasses." Tucker grumbles.
"Calm down, Ed." Olivia grips his arm, trying to hide her smile.
He doesn't respond, simply takes a long swig from his beer, trying to tone down his irritation at umpires who clearly can't make good calls.
"Sorry about that." He grumbles at last. "I get a bit...intense...when I'm watching sports. Especially when family's involved."
"I can see that." Olivia smirks. "Are you close with them?"
"Very. Still see my folks on a regular basis and most of my siblings live on the East Coast. We're the rather stereotypical large Irish family. You'd like 'em."
"I don't know...if they're anything like you...they might be a handful." Olivia chuckles, taking the edge off her words.
"Are you saying I'm difficult, Benson?" Tucker put down his beer and gave her a mock glare.
"Well..." She pretended to think.
"I'm hurt."
"You'll get over it."
"Ouch."
"Man up, Tucker."
"Well played, Lieutenant." He grins at her and finishes his beer. And, for the next couple hours, they sit and chat while watching the game. Tucker tones down his reactions to bad calls a little but still isn't completely able to hide his irritation. But he'd quickly settle down when he'd turn to see Olivia stifling giggles.
"You're not going to let me live this down, are you?" He asks resignedly.
"Not on your life." Olivia says as she took his arm as they walked back to the car together.
"Why did I even think you'd have a bit of mercy on me?" Tucker rolls his eyes.
"I don't know. It's like you don't even know me that well." She teases.
"You know I'll pay you back, right?" He grins at her.
"I'm counting on it." Liv laughs.
…...
Back at the car, instead of leaving immediately, Ed and Olivia simply stand and looked up at the night sky. Not only is it fairly mild but the skies are clear – and the stars and moon are bright away from the city lights.
Olivia takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. "Thank you for a perfect night, Ed. You were right. I really needed this."
"So did I." He replies, reaching for her hand. "Sometimes I'll go here and just hit a few balls myself. It's relaxing."
She leans her head on his shoulder. "I'm waiting for the day that we don't have to be so secretive about this – that we don't have to sneak around. I feel guilty keeping this from my squad – Barba was so hurt when I told him I was...biased...towards you."
"Do you regret this?" He looks down at her and gestured between the two of them. And he regrets that she's going through all of this on his account. Tucker can't help but blame himself.
And Olivia immediately notices.
"Not for one moment." She responds firmly. "Tucker, this isn't on you so don't you dare think that you're to blame for any of this. I just hope my squad, when they find out, can understand. I think, after sixteen years, after everything I've been through...that I deserve some happiness too. Both Noah and I do."
"Couldn't agree more." Tucker said, putting his arm around her. "I think it might come as a shock at first," he says slowly, "but they all seem fairly reasonable. Although," he adds, "I am a bit relieved I don't have to break it to Amaro or Stabler."
Olivia winces at the mention of her former partners. She still misses both of them dreadfully. "I think they both would have been okay with it if they saw that I was happy." She says quietly. "I know you and El and Nick never got along but if I could get past our history...eventually, I believe they'd come around."
"I'll take your word for it." Was all he said and Olivia could tell that he didn't quite believe her. So she didn't continue with the topic.
"I should probably get home." She begins to pull herself away from him regrettfully. "As delightful as this has been, I'm tired."
"You've had a long few weeks." Ed agrees.
"Long few years, more like it." She sighs wearily.
"It'll work out, Liv." Tucker looks at her intently. "We'll get these sons of bitches."
"Yes, we will." She looks at him. And in her eyes Ed can see the trust and faith she has in him. It shakes him a little because, other than some members of his family, it has been a long time since anyone has shown any real faith or belief in him. Most people were too busy being pissed off at him for uncovering their dirty laundry. Despite the fact that all he was trying to do was eliminate the corrupt apples, the thin blue line was strong and tight and many cops did not look kindly on one of their own turning on them. It's a lonely life.
He pulls her close again. "I know you can't stay but let me give you something to think about for next time." He gives her a half-smirk.
"Oh?" Olivia raises her eyebrow, "And what would that be, Captain Tucker?"
And then she can't speak anymore because his mouth was on hers. Firm, warm, and tasting of beer, bourbon, smoke and hot City nights. Olivia sighs against his mouth as his lips caress hers, his arm rubbing her back. And then her back is against her car and his body pressed against hers and she could feel what he feels for her, what she was doing to him. Moaning slightly, she slides her body against his, feeling him harden against her. And there's a deep sense of satisfaction that she can bring this tough IAB Captain to his knees.
His mouth trails down her neck, nibbling at her collarbone. His fingers find their way under her shirt and they are hot against her skin. Olivia kisses him back fiercely, her fingers digging into his back and she can hear him groan and it is so, so good. And when his tongue tangles with hers again and again, she pulls him even closer into her.
My god, they're like two horny teenagers. But it feels so good and so right and everything that she'd been looking for. And she doesn't want him to stop because when he does, she'll feel a little cold and empty again.
But, finally, they both realize that they need to breathe and reluctantly pull apart. But Tucker keeps his hand against her back and fingers lightly brushing her hair, kissing her earlobe and below it. Olivia closes her eyes and smiles as she feels her fingers run through her hair. Finally, he steps away, adjusting himself slightly and Olivia is even more satisfied to see that he's still catching his breath.
She's still got it. And then some.
"As much as I'd really like to continue this, I need to get home." Olivia smiles regretfully. But it's a radiant smile that Tucker is positive could light up all of Manhattan.
"I'll check in with you tomorrow." He says hoarsely, still aroused.
Olivia opens her car door and, getting in, fires one last shot, "Make sure you take a cold shower." She smirks a little. "I hear they're good for fixing some problems."
Ed gives her a glare. "Payback's a bitch, Benson."
"I can't wait." She winks as she drives off.
If she had looked back, she would have seen Ed Tucker still standing there, hands in his pockets, and chuckling. And, while the investigation has been really stressful, he's thankful he's not fighting alone.
Life really isn't so bad after all.
...
I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self respect. And it's these things I'd believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn't all she should be. I love her and it is the beginning of everything."
-F. Scott Fitzgerald
