Pokemon belongs to someone else. Not me, deal with it.
I don't know what she did, but it feels like I experienced an entire hangover in span of five seconds. Fucking hippo bras that sucked, why was she so pissed I didn't deserve that there just fucking words! I shook my head to try and clear it.
I turned back to her, hatred flaring in my eyes. I don't give a shit if she looks like a little girl, she's about to get bitch slapped for that! Curling my paw into a fist I ran up to her and swung.
And hit nothing but air, she had jumped back fast, like super fast. Then she disappeared, whered she go shit just doesnt disappear like that, unless its a dream. Oh shit she was never real, I'm dre-PAAAAIIINNN! Nope I was wrong she's still here right in front of me closer than last time, some how that had made the glowy thing she did earlier even worse. I threw another punch and barely glanced her before she disappeared again reappearing around fifteen feet away. Still glowing but I could only feel a small trickle of pain in the back of my head, I didn't let it show.
She scowled before disappearing again, I was ready for it this time and whipped around just in time to catch her across her face with my palm, which was for some reason glowing yellow.
Apparently yellow is a good color because she was launched a good five feet away, straight into a tree. The bird thing, deciding it should step in quickly flew up to my face sqwacking and battering me with its wings.
"AHH FUCK!" I swatted at him wildly but it managed to miss him each time.
"WHAT HAPPENED!" Oh hey Jerry's back. He dropped the thick branches he was carrying and ran towards Marcy. He quickly scanned over the unconscious Pokémon determining whether or not she was hurt. Satisfied that she was fine he quickly whipped around to face me. Angry etched across his face.
"She hit me first!" I pointed at her, quick to put the blame on someone else.
"I don't believe a word of that, getting captured is no reason to take your anger out on Marcy! If your really that mad about it just talk it out!" Anger was leaking into his tone as he stared me down, I wasn't scared. I could just glowy punch him if he got too violent, like hangover girl over there.
"You sound like a fucking Saturday morning cartoon, 'hey kids don't fight bullies, tell an adult!'" I replied mockingly making sure to finish off my sentence with jazz hands.
"Arceus your impossible!" Definitely raging now. "Just... just behave ok." Now he seems defeated. I considered what had happened today, I had been a complete pain in the ass to this guy when he was only trying to help. I mean, hell, he probably saved my life after the cliff. Least I could do is behave.
I sighed. "Fine I'll behave a bit" he looked surprised by that. "On one condition, keep little miss mind fuck away from me and we won't have a problem, deal?" I held out my hand paw thing. He glanced at it for a second considering my offer with extreme intensity, but only for a second before he grabbed and shook my hand.
"Deal."
And that was the start of a sub-par partnership.
It was dark now, we had a campfire going. Marcy had woken up a few hours earlier and now she just sat there glaring at me from across the fire with presumably eyes full of malice, its not like I can see her peepers through all that green hair. Wait how can she see me? must be weird freaky pokemon powers.
Speaking of powers I learn my shiny shiny paw attack thing was called force palm, and that I'm a fighting type not a water type, go figure. Anyway I also found out that bird brain can talk too, he just prefers not to.
"So" I started "where we headed to anyway."
"PetalBurg, I heard they have a gym out there from another trainer. Were going to try and defeat the gym leader up there. Plus I've got family up there." Replied james. "My cousin in fact, I haven't seen her in years, I wonder how she's been doing all this time."
I of course said the first genltemanly thing that popped in my mind.
"Is she hot." In my defence that sentence was uttered without a single curse word.
His eyes got real big at that and he started sputtering nonsense.
"I-I-I wha- but- bu-!"
"So she has a nice butt?" I teased, this guy was just to easy.
"You said you would behave!" He blurted out.
"No I said I would behave a bit, don't stifle my creativity man. Besides I'm just asking."
"But your a pokemon! You shouldn't even be attracted to humans!" he accused
"Its a fetish thing." I answered with a straight face.
"Dude that's nasty."
"Not as nasty as you thinking your cousin has a nice ass."
"I DIDN'T SAY SHE HAS A NICE ASS!" He screamed, he blushed and clapped his hand over his mouth once he realized what he had done.
"Half of the forest just heard that." He blushed even more. Jeeze this guy has like no defence against this kind of shit at all. Probably was going to try and rely on his pokemon to do the talking for him when this stuff occurred. Just didn't expect to be talked back to by the super powered animals.
We sat in silence for a while just listening to the fire and the sound of zubats chirping all around us. It gave me time to think, to think about how to get out of this mess. How to tell him I'm a human without Arceus stopping me or making me blurt nonsense. Or how I used that weird force palm thing and if I can do that then what else can I do. I finally broke the silence with a question.
"Does she have a nice rack?"
"Grooooaaannn"
There's chapter three I'm trying to put one out a week at least, but I get major writers block so if you want help you can make a suggestion in the reviews to help out. It would help with getting them out a lot sooner. Thank you
