Chapter Three: Tears Again
It seemed like Glinda remained silent for hours, staring unblinking at Nessa as tears began to well up in her usually sparkling eyes, although in reality it couldn't have been for more than a few seconds. There was such gravitas in her silence that Nessa became aware that she was holding her breath, quite unable to move a muscle even to take a breath so long as the blonde's lips remained sealed.
"It's Elphaba," breathed Glinda in a hollow whisper, lapsing into silence again without offering any further explanation. Nessa blinked in surprise, mind rapidly running through several possible things that could have happened to her sister, none of which were good things. What if there'd been an accident on the trains and she'd been seriously hurt, or worse, killed! Admittedly they weren't exactly as close as sisters could be, however this certainly didn't mean that she wished anything but the best for her.
"What about Elphaba?" asked Nessa hurriedly, the words blurring into each other slightly in her haste to get further details, "Is she okay? What's going on Glinda?" The blonde's demeanour was making her far more frantic than she would otherwise have been, for surely it had to be something of dire severity to have so visibly shaken her up. Once again, Glinda didn't respond for a moment or so, instead staring almost blankly at the girl in the chair and beginning to rock back and forth slightly (which did little to relieve Nessa's growing fears).
"Oh Oz, I don't even know where to begin," admitted Glinda, the events of the day playing themselves through again and again inside her head. She'd spent the entire journey back from the Emerald City running through countless imagined conversations with Nessa, desperate to think of the right thing to say, yet now that she was actually standing before her there seemed to be nothing that she could say that would be fitting. She couldn't just tell her everything that had happened (her days would be numbered if word of it ever got out), however neither could she let Nessarose believe that Elphaba really was wicked.
"Come inside," instructed Nessa, more to fill up the silence than anything else, "this doesn't sound like a conversation we should be having out in the open like this." Nodding blankly, Glinda followed the other girl inside, planting herself into the same chair that Fiyero had occupied only a few hours earlier. After almost a minute of staring at each other in silence, Nessa felt the need to speak up again, determined to coax more information out of the blonde: "is it really that bad?"
"Probably worse," murmured Glinda. An involuntary look of fear flashed across Nessa's face, which brought Glinda back to her senses somewhat; after all, she didn't want the girl to get the wrong idea. "She's not hurt," she quickly clarified, shaking her head slightly in an attempt to dislodge some of the haze her own shock was clouding her thoughts with, "at least, not directly."
"Please Glinda," began Nessa imploringly, "just tell me what's happened."
"She had a... disagreement..." whispered Glinda, speaking so softly that Nessa had to strain her ears to hear her, "with the... oh Nessa, it was with the Wizard!"
"With the... with the WIZARD!" exclaimed Nessa in disbelief, convinced that she must have misheard the girl (or perhaps just wishing that she had).
"Yes," confirmed Glinda, the tears that had been lurking at the corners of her eyes since the start of the conversation now beginning to slowly roll down her cheeks.
"She's not... in Southstairs now is she?" asked Nessa anxiously, well aware of that particular prison's sinister reputation in spite of having never been to the Emerald City. Elphaba in Southstairs; the very thought was enough to send chills down her spins. Never mind how terrible the place was supposed to be, she knew that the shame of it alone might just kill their father.
"No, she escaped" murmured Glinda, and Nessa let out a long sigh of relief, "it's just... well, I don't know when, or even if, we'll ever see her again." This revelation was the last thing that Glinda's already fractured composure could handle at this exact moment. Visions of their last moments together at the top of the Wizard's palace rapidly flooded into her conscious mind, and with a heart-breaking sob she broke down into a flood of tears.
Nessarose, who had been momentarily frozen in shock at the blonde's words, was suddenly taken over by instinct and rapidly wheeled her chair across to be with Glinda, taking the other girl's hands in her own in a vain attempt to comfort her. This was an area in which Nessa had never been particularly skilful, she just found it difficult to think of the right thing to say when someone was so obviously upset (and rather doubted that a pensive quote about the nature of the Unnamed God would do the trick in this case). Of course, it didn't help matters that she too was upset by this revelation, however Glinda's grief was so overt that Nessa felt it wouldn't be right to dwell on her own at this point. Besides, she didn't like seeing the blonde upset, not one bit.
"Oh, Glinda," she whispered, wishing glumly that she was able to stand and give the blonde the hug that she so obviously needed, "don't cry. I'm sure everything will..." she trailed away for a moment, unable to complete the phrase 'everything will work out in the end' when she didn't believe it herself, "that is... I don't think Elphaba would want you to be this upset." Truthfully, she had no real way of knowing whether this was true either, however it at least sounded less phony than her original thought had.
"Probably not," muttered Glinda between sobs, "it's just so... so unfair!" By this point Nessa was dying to ask exactly what was unfair, and find out exactly what had happened. It wouldn't be right though, not when she was in this state. Pressing her for more information when the very memory of it seemed to be hurting her would simply be cruel. She didn't know why, but it was almost as bad to see Glinda so obviously distraught as it had been to hear the revelation about Elphaba; Nessa didn't just want to comfort the blonde so that she could hear the remainder of the story. She just didn't want Glinda to cry.
"Please..." breathed Nessa, squeezing the blonde's hands tighter, "don't cry..." At that moment a sudden thought struck her: just because she couldn't stand didn't mean she couldn't give Glinda the hug she needed. Acting almost on instinct, Nessa tugged firmly on her arms, pulling Glinda (who wasn't in any state to offer real resistance to it) off the chair and onto her lap, where she was free to cradle her comfortingly. Glinda, vision blurred by her tears, barely noticed the motion, however upon finding a soft and comforting grip encapsulating her snuggled into it gratefully.
Facing in the wrong direction to see the clock, Nessa had no idea how long they stayed like that for, Glinda weeping into her shoulder as she fought to remain composed for the blonde's sake. Quite frankly, she didn't care how long it was. She was just glad that she was able to help, even in this very small way. All of the burning questions that she had ready to ask the girl in her lap (the most obvious one being what the disagreement had been over) seemed somehow less important whilst she was holding Glinda like this. After a good while, Glinda slowly began to compose herself, drawing a handkerchief out from the folds of her outfit and dabbing at her eyes, which seemed to have momentarily exhausted their supply of tears.
"Thank you," said Glinda breathlessly as she slipped off Nessa's lap and back onto the other chair, "you didn't have to do that, but... it helped." Nessa squeezed Glinda's hands again (which she had taken hold of again once she had sat down), looking up at her with a concerned expression.
"Of course I had to," she replied, "I couldn't just let you cry alone." Glinda smiled, however Nessa could easily tell that it was only forced for her sake. They were silent for a moment, at which point Nessa felt she could no longer keep her curiosity pent up within her. "Are you feeling better now? I'd still like to hear exactly what happened... if you're okay."
"I'm not sure I can say..." murmured Glinda, purposefully not meeting the other girl's gaze, "just... don't believe anything you hear."
"What does that even mean!" snapped Nessa, emotion that she'd been suppressing for the blonde's sake bubbling over in a far more explosive manner than she'd intended, "Please Glinda, why can't you just tell me what's going on?" Glinda rocked back and forth in an alarming manner, and for a moment Nessa was sure that she'd pushed her over the edge again and she was about to break down into tears once again. In truth however a fierce battle was raging within Glinda's mind, two conflicting viewpoints fighting for control. It was this conflict that had led to such confusion and, in natural progression, the floods of tears which had burst forth. Glinda truly did want to tell Nessa the truth of everything that had happened; she was simply scared of what would happen if she did.
"Nessa," began Glinda breathlessly, still not meeting the other girl's eyes as she spoke, "I want to tell you... I really do..."
"Then tell me," replied Nessa softly, already feeling remorse for having snapped like that, "you can trust me."
"Can I?"
"Of course."
"Nessa... if I tell you, you must promise not to tell a single soul... especially not your father." This request left Nessarose in silence for a second or so as she thought through the possible ramifications of it, however she was never in any real doubt of what answer she'd give.
"I promise." Taking a deep breath, Glinda finally looked back at Nessa, and the younger girl was shocked to see how utterly terrified she looked. Whatever truth she was about to impart on her was clearly something serious, so Nessa steeled herself for a shock.
"He's nothing but a doddering old humbug."
"Who?" asked Nessa in confusion.
"The Wizard!" exclaimed Glinda, before realising how loudly she'd said this and shrinking down into her seat, speaking in a whisper again when she continued, "The Wizard's a fake!" Her heart was pounding furiously from the fear of what she was doing, and she began to regret her choice the moment the words had left her mouth. It was too late to change her mind now however; she would just have to persevere through whatever arose because of it.
"But that's impossible!" replied Nessa in a tone of clear disbelief, half-beginning to suspect that this was all just some ridiculous, overly-elaborate practical joke, "how could he possibly have taken over Oz if that were true?"
"I don't know," admitted Glinda, not having given much thought to this particular element of the story, "but I swear it's true." Taking another deep breath, she began to tell Nessa the full story of her encounter with the Wizard, starting with her and Elphaba's arrival at the Emerald city and going on all the way to her departure from the Palace (even including her conversation with Elphaba just before her exodus, a detail she hadn't even told the Wizard when pressed to). Nessa listened in stunned silence, barely believing that these were true events being conveyed to her.
"That's... unbelievable..." murmured Nessa as Glinda finished her story, eyes wide as she stared at the blonde.
"You don't believe me!" gasped Glinda, tears forming at the corner of her eyes again as a hurt expression flashed across her face, "how could you accuse me of lying after..."
"No, no, I believe you!" clarified Nessa quickly, squeezing the blonde's hands again in an attempt to calm her down, "it's just not what I expected to hear." Of course, she wasn't really sure what she had been expecting Glinda to tell her, however she certainly wouldn't have guessed the truth, no matter how long she was given to think about it.
"You should try living it," retorted Glinda, although not in an ill-humoured manner this time, "it doesn't make that much more sense to me." She sighed, tugging one of her hands out of Nessa's grip and using it to prop up her forehead with. Why she'd ever thought that she could have this conversation with Nessa without telling her the truth about what had happened she had no idea. What had she been planning to do, tell her that Elphaba was wicked, but that she just shouldn't hold it against her? Her floods of tears had proven that she couldn't keep up that facade for long; and now for better or for worse she was simply going to have to trust Nessa.
"I can see why you made me promise not to tell anyone."
"You won't, will you!" asked Glinda, her head snapping up in alarm.
"Of course not!" reassured Nessa, "In fact, I'm rather touched that you trusted me enough to tell me at all; it's not exactly like we're friends."
"It was the right thing to do," said Glinda, looking away, "I couldn't let you think that the lies Morrible will be spreading about her are true." She bit her lip for a moment, before quickly adding: "and we are friends... at least, I think we are now."
"Of course we are," replied Nessa, smiling encouragingly at her. The blonde smiled back at her, and they remained like that in silence for a moment or so. A weight seemed to lift from Glinda's shoulders as Nessa said this, and for the first time since the conversation had begun she wasn't scared that her secret would be passed on. Did she know for sure that she could trust Nessa? Of course not; but she certainly hoped that she could.
Hmm, I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but I can't put my finger on what it is. Ah well, I hope you like it! Thanks for reading ^^
