AN: Thank you so much for all the reviews! I did not expect that and it makes me very very happy!
The moment the door slammed shut, Fili knew he was in trouble. Thorin's mood had been foul ever since the journey began. When they had found themselves in Rivendell, lead by Gandalf and chased by orcs, he had turned even more grumpy and short tempered.
Without turning, Fili continued to dress. He had just finished washing and tending to a bruised wrist he did not even remember hurting.
»Where is your brother?«
»Kili?« stupid question indeed. Yet his uncle answered with a short, aggravated 'Yes!' which gave Fili a strange kind of satisfaction.
»He's asking some of the elves for help, something about his arrows.«
Thorin did not react, and that showed Fili just how much he was in trouble. He had expected Thorin to burst with rage and run off, looking for his younger brother, but he stayed. In fact, he seemed pleased the other dwarf was not near.
»He will not come with us. He will stay here or go home.«
The words made no sense to him, he turned and frowned. One by one, the strange words sank into his brain, sorted themselves after dancing a bit on his nerves, joining each other to form first a sentence, then a meaning.
»He... what?«
»You saw! How he fought against the trolls, how he ignored my order and attacked before any of us had arrived! I can not use such recklessness, such childish behavior.«
Yes, he remembered the fight against the trolls. He remembered how he had dashed off to alarm the others and Kili had stayed behind, watching, making sure they did not get away. They had agreed to attack as soon as Thorin and the others joined them. And then, Kili had jumped out of the bushes he was hiding in, confronting the three trolls all by himself.
»He saved Bilbo.« Fili said, surprised about how calm his voice sounded. He was right, had Kili not acted on impulse as he always did, Bilbo would have been dead by the time the others arrived. A matter of seconds, really, but important seconds.
»I think he was really brave.«
»Brave?« Thorin shouted, slamming his fist against the chair where Fili had put the washing bowl on. The elven wood creaked a bit.
»No, that was not bravery, it was recklessness.«
»Is that so... well, maybe that is how you see it. But you know...« he turned and faced his uncle, head on. He tilted his chin the way Thorin did it, appearing a touch more majestic than he had ever thought he could.
»When those orcs closed in on us... when the wargs attacked, the one sneaking up on us... you know who stood up to shoot it?« of course he knew, Thorin had been the one to tell him and shoot. If he hadn't at least one of them would have died with the first attack of that beast.
»You know who was brave and reckless enough to stay in the fields until all the others were gone? Guarding our backs?«
Fili heard his own voice rising, deeper than usual. Had Kili been here, or some of the other dwarfs, and certainly Bilbo, they would have stared at him with new respect, Ori maybe even with a touch of fear. Kili would stare at him with those dark eyes screaming 'I am so proud to be your brother'.
But not Thorin.
His uncle didn't seem to have trouble staring back at him, not impressed at all. Or maybe he was, but he did not show it. Not at all.
»Mind your words, Fili. I do not recall you having earned the right to speak up to me.«
Suddenly, Fili was back to being a child, being scolded because he dropped a pickaxe he was supposed to sharpen in the furnace. He had been too small to properly reach the anvil, too weak to hold a hammer and too afraid of fire. Yet he had wanted to try, annoyed Thorin and Mister Dwalin until they agreed to let him help despite his young age. They had not been angry because he messed up, but because he had overestimated himself.
Two years later, he was allowed to step foot into the smithy again and he turned out to be quite skilled. It simply had not been the right time back then.
Now was different. He would not grow up to be able to stand up for his brother, he was supposed to do so since the moment Kili had been born.
»I do not intend to be disrespectful.« he said, shaking his head. »But I trust him to be of help in this quest. He has proven his bravery and worth, he saved Bilbo and he stood up against the orcs after you allowed him to. He will not cause more trouble than any of us. He is not a burden, Thorin.«
Sighing, he lowered his eyes and spoke with a quieter voice now. »Please, uncle. Don't send him home. He'll get lost on the way.«
A long moment passed. Dark, hardened eyes looked down on him and he felt like shrinking, loosing ground.
»You are responsible for him.«
having that said, Thorin turned and left the room, closing the door with a little more force than necessary. Fili stayed behind, exhaling slowly. He had not even realized he had held his breath.
Of course he was responsible for Kili. Had he not been since the beginning?
Smiling, he continued to dress and tend to his blonde hair. He did not mind, after all, Kili was quite capable of taking care of himself.
At least he hoped he was...
